Deadpool's Laughing Den

My stupid fitness revolution, videogaming style...

2011-11-24T15:14:00.003+02:00

It is a little known fact that I hate exercise. Not in all its forms per se, just the ones involving going to a gym... and exercising.... and sweating like a pig around other suckers that sweat like pigs... and being demolished afterwards... Yeah, that sums it up quite nicely I think, I hate going to the gym, period!!! The closest I ever came to enter a gym, past the reception lobby that is, was years ago in Thessaloniki. There,"a little man" bursting with muscle volume and wearing clothes several sizes smaller than his normal size, tried to explain to me how things worked in his "gym realm". Let's just say it didn't work out between us (that is between gym and man, not between man and man which would complicate things in a way too gay to explain, LOL!). I used to do several team sports several years back but then videogames, fattening drinks and girls with needs came to my life, so that went out of the window really soon. Which brings me to the current state of things... One day I woke up and I realised that I have become a couch potato. Not much of an epiphany but it did the trick for me. Apparently, all that virtual running in Elder Scrolls Oblivion didn't burn any real life calories but those are the things that they usually skip, in in-game turorials... (damn!). So, I find myself in a hiatus between the necessity of exercising and the formidable allures of my ever bending sofa... Hmmm... what to choose... what to choose...

I am totally ready to kickass and don't let my couch potato look fool ya:). Oh, come on seriously now...

When the time comes to take an important decision and you are split between two choices, it is time to create a third choice just to do things the "malakas way" as we say here in Greece. Using all my creative mental juices, I focused my brain power in a way to exercise that would make things more playful rather than absolute torture for my sensitive couch potato psyche. So, without further ado, I present you my videogame fitness challenge! Oh yes, I joyfully concluded that the reason for my couch potato transformation could also be my fitness salvation. I got a Kinect, I got a Wii and by the godlike muscles of Chuck Norris I am going to use them to full effect! So yeah, that's it, that is my brilliant idea that has sent shivers down gymnasts spines around the world. Exercise into your own living room instead of sweating like a malakas around other people that smell bad or have come straight out of the Olympic games, stamina wise. Eat my dust losers of actual exercise, I am going to lose weight by exercising in virtual worlds and finally approximate my ingame avatars dimensions (what a noble goal indeed, LOL!).

Oops wrong gaming role model, quite chubby little bast*rd too:)

In upcoming days, weeks or whenever I will be posting how I am doing with my personal fitness challenge (all gory fatass details included with no charge of course), so that my ever expanding invisible readership will learn all the info it craves for but doesn't dare to ask!

And with those awesome words of nonsense wisdom I leave this blog once more...

Till next time friends!

Shoot this undead(?) blog already!!!

2011-06-03T17:17:00.002+03:00

Blogging is dead... In fact it is so dead that I can almost see the vultures hovering above this very blog's rotting carcass with a gleeful smile on their pointy beaks. Still, I am such a sentimental fool that I refuse to "officially" pull the plug on this masterpiece of human creativity and humourous mayhem that I have established here(modesty is for the modest and should be illegal after all...). So, let's not call this place a blog anymore since that would infer that it is a relic of past times long gone (it is exactly that but noone but me has to know about it my dear invisible readers...). Let's call this an insane personal diary of sorts... Yeah! I like the sound of that! Besides it describes the state of affairs in this place quite accurately. You see, a diary can be defined as a collection of random personal mumblings that someone has scribbled on a secretly placed notebook only for his/her reading pleasure. Coincidentially this place has only one reader (although I may bail as a reader as well, the guy posting on this blog is nuts...) that I know off and many potential readers that will trespass this sanctuary of lunacy by accident. So yeah, my personal diary of madness sounds kinda of fresh, thus I am cheerfully rebooting this ex-blogthingy to a new blogthingy with a twist(it is like - please sponsor me - coke light and coke zero, same thing different taste...).

This blog has had it's fair share of identity crisis but since I am Greek and 'crisis' is my middle name by now, all is good:).

Let's move on to the juicy personal stuff... I am still in the officially "unemployed" unofficially "getting by" status mode with my 1 year of official unemployment anniversary gone and dusted a couple of months back. My problem has been that I had, so far, the "perversion" of looking for a job somewhat related to my University credentials. However, I have been recently vaccinated against this luxurious potentially fatal, for my wallet, disease and my horizons have been constantly widening ever since. As I see it, the greek economy is more stagnant than Matthew McConaughey's acting with no Oscar looming in the horizon in the foreseeable future. Therefore, after a self imposed harmless lobotomy surgical procedure that had a doubtful degree of success, I have 'willingly' adjusted my career options to the current greek economic climate. Any job except 'manwhoring' (that is plan B+...) will be considered, including sperm donation and attempts at breaking stupid Guiness records for the right price. After this personal epiphany of sorts I am a happier individual and so does my shrink think so...

The time for fluffy animals and ridiculously gay 'cute' voices is upon us, no doubt about that:).

Moving away from my "career resume", I am the joyful dad of a girl nearing 4 months of age. Now, I can't be objective on the matter I love her to bits, so bare with me beyond "the sugary sea of love" I am about to put you through. What never ceases to amuse me with my little ever growing "bundle of joy" is how much excitement she finds in the little things... "Oh, look pa, I got a foot , I got a foot pa..." she would scream if she could, everytime she realises that she is the proud owner of a foot. I have to admit it is funny - albeit demanding - having this tiny unpredictable humanoid around. Plus it is cathartic to bring out, without any restrain, your most childish side interacting with it. Although, truth be told , this side has never left me or my wife, so it was easy to use our 'childish reserves' now that are so desperately needed. Who would have thought that changing diapers would be a breeze and every little smile she gives me a reason to wake up in the next morning? Poetic words from a dad in love or ravings of a madman? Stay tuned to this blogcorner of mine and you will find out...

So is my sense of humour shooting blanks or there is still life to this happy camper of madness? Stay tuned...

Till next time then...

Take care all!

Returning to blogging(?) and discovering the paternal funny bone...

2011-02-03T20:42:00.002+02:00

I can't say I 've lost my writing head all this time, so no worries:)

It's been a while since I wrote something on this blog corner... In the meantime some negligible thingy in the cosmic sphere of things happened, like me becoming a dad... Wow! Let's see that again in all its bold letters glory... I' ve become a dad! Hmmm... that looks just about right now. So yeah, since 2 weeks ago I am the proud "owner", "papa", "head honcho", "cool as heck dad" of a baby daughter. Suddenly, the surge of ultra dadhood that has been coursing through my veins for the past two weeks has reset my interesting - o - meter to "write". OK, it may not have been as dramatic a transformation as I am describing here but the stupid evidence is there for all to see ... I wrote in my greek blog (equally in hiatus as this one for the past 4 - 5 months) a couple of days ago and now this... Is it contagious? Am I going to write posts like a madman from now on, standing upside down on my head in the middle of the living room? I can't say for certain...

Still getting used to recalibrating my funny bone with added "fatherhood infused " verbal rapid fire :).

Still, it does amaze me in a purely non-modest egomaniac way, that all of a sudden I have rediscovered "the fine art of writing" and how to cheerfully molest it once again with my mixed grill comic bookish english. By some twist of bloggish fate, this blog has been in writing hibernation but not in a drought of visitors. The gods of cool blogger widgets have a lot to do with this kinky paradox. Every day lots of people have entered the realm of this desserted blog using the miraculous powers of "google search", looking for things unrelated to the core essence of the writing malarchy displayed on these glorious premises. So, even by accident, some sort of movement by intelligent or not so intelligent life forms has taken place within "Deadpool's Laughing Den"(Sweeeeetttt...). Now, it is not a feat I am proud of personally, and probably a lot of the visitors who made the mistake of actually reading a few lines written by my majestic typing fingers, have been haunted by horrible nightmares ever since. But beggars can't be choosers and at least I have the cute personal illusion that this blog isn't dead just yet...

It all started innocently enough, kiss kiss bang bang and other "extreme sports" activities ... Then "all of a sudden" I became a father! Whoa!!!

So, I am a dad now and I am really curious if that is going to make me an unfunny slob ready to "bloggingly defend" my sacred family values with politically correct humour. Actually, that won't be happening in this lifetime but it is nice to remind myself once in a while that I won't becoming THAT sort of dad, the one that thrives on cliched behaviour and humourless social manners. Nah, stereotypical dads are boring (all around nice guys I am sure, plus I love my dad - uber gay comment overload in progress- ...), so that is always a good motivation to not go down that path. Therefore, I am aspiring to ignite a new breed of uber dadness and prove once and for all in front of your bewildered reading eyes, that a dad can be responsible AND (wait for it, wait for it, wait for it ...) actually funny! And with this amazingly blunt statement I am - almost- concluding this pointless rant of a post!!!

The kid friendly Deadpoolite costume wasn't really working out for me... Still, I had to give it a try and "by the dusty bones of Walt Disney" I did just that... Then, the itching started and it all went back to pure "classic Deadpool look" from there:).

For what is worth, I will be returning with more DPish posts infused with my newly found "dad power". I can't say if anyone will be around to read but then again , if not, you will be missing out on the single reason worth living for on planet earth (besides sex, food, more sex and fatherhood)! And with those humbless words, I leave the premises, threatening to return sometime between changing diapers and losing my sleep downtime...

Till next time, take care all!

An optimistic post about Greece, I kid you not:)

2010-08-14T19:18:00.003+03:00

For the ones among you that are still alive since my last post and, for some perverted reason, keep visiting this blog space now and then I have to say : " You are da bombs!" whatever this massacrism of the english language truely means. When I kickstarted this blogdiocy of sorts back in the day of blo(r)gasm all around the internet, I intended for only one thing: "World Peace!". Well, not really but it seems that every leader around the globe has that somewhere in their agenda right before "free ice cream for the general public" and "taxes for taxes sake". Yeah, that sounds right about right in my book more or less.

Now, I am no leader since my number of minions is currently in the zeros and truth be told my only true future follower is currently incubating in the sexy womb of my other half (but more on that on a future post, let's not lose our focus here people!). The point of this post is that Greece isn't dead for the obvious reason that I am Greek and I am writing this excruciatingly painful for readers blog post, about my country. Contrary to what global media may have made you believe, Greeks are not tearing eachother apart for a loaf of bread (give us time we will meet your shitastic "expectations" in an alternative universe someday global bullshiters out there). Now this may come as a shock to you out there but we still proudly eat our tzatziki and consume gyros and greek salad, albeit in lesser quantities than before. So, yeah a lot of unemployment around this part of the world to which I have fallen a "proud" victim of, since a few months back. Oh well, more time for blogging till the next job I suppose:).

So yeah, we learned as a country that money do not materialize out of thin air and can suddenly become invisible from one day to the next, bummer! Oh well, nobody is perfect:).

Now in these "dark times" where every youtube video has some mentioning of the "greek tragedy" in progress, it really matters how one views the proverbial glass, half full or half empty. It does make a difference and I am not necessarily a representative greek specimen (since I obviously lack any common sense which is always a plus). The way I see it, all this crisis can really do to greeks, is force them to revaluate some things they took for granted and return to what truely matters in life: "sex and feta cheese!". Hmmm..., nah, scrub that example off the black board, it sucks and I won't have any of it.

The basic organisation of the greek state has always been "selectively objective" towards people with the right connections. Still, despite not all people having the right connections, there was never any serious "life threatening" problem of cash flowing in greek households (don't ask me where it all came from they just appeared out of thin air I tell you, LOL).Truth be told, most of greek families are not wealthy and are just getting by but there was always "an illusion of grandeur" in the citizens of this country for no apparent reason. Greeks are driven by some uncanny 'bon viveur" twist that makes them celebrate and destroy (at the same time because we are the gods of multitasking) the blessed by nature beautiful place they live on. You see Greece is one of the most beautiful places on earth with great diversity of landscape and the only ones that take it for granted and do not appreciate it enough are the Greeks, ironic eh?

This is Fyra : Santorini, beautiful place eh? And the damn country is full of such places, I love it!

But this is not a post about how Greeks do not appreciate Greece enough, since no blogspace in the world could cover this issue. This is a post about opportunity on the face of adversity. At the moment Greece is under renovation but with things being bought from places like IKEA, not using 'the other expensive stuff" that we can't afford. The country is being torn apart and is being reconstructed from the ground up, something that was long overdue and under ideal conditions would have been done progressively. Time is a luxury we don't have as a nation I am afraid, since some massive "bill shaped gilotines" are hanging over our heads threatening to cut our precious mousaka portions in half (dear god, not mousaka, anything but mousaka, you foreign gits out there, LOOOLL!!!).

Contrary to popular belief Greeks are adapting to this shity situation admirably.They don't like it, they have been falsely brought up with a golden spoon that doesn't belong to them but they are adapting. You see, greeks prevail under pressure (it took us 6 months to renovate the Olympic Stadium of Athens while it took the Brits 10 years to make the new Wembley I kid you not, lol).Maybe it is genetic, maybe we are just stupid asses that leave things till the last moment and then by using some sort of miraculous superpower we produce good results a minute before the deadline, I really don't know:).

The poster reads: "Attack of the giant moussaka". What? Shaking in your boots chickenshits? Didn't you think that we had a defensive plan B eh? LOL!!!

As with 90% of my posts I haven't thought of a single word prior to writing but I don't have to, I am Greek. In the moment of crisis my inherent superpower of "last moment triumph" kicks in so no worries there, heh. I am making this up as I type and loving every moment of it! Behind the freightened faces of greek people about 'what happens tomorrow', hides the determination of a nation that prevails under adverse conditions. If being in recession for several years means that a brighter future is being built for future generations, so be it. I am not one to shy away from a challenge and nor is the majority of the greek population. Heck, we may shed a few needed kilograms in the process which can only be a good thing:). Now back to that slice of glorious greek mousaka that I left untouched during lunch, mmm yammy!!! Come and have a taste you are going to love it!

If greek society manages to see what is happening as a challenge and a way to improve things then we will manage beautifully in good time. If not, then we will still manage but a lot of people are going to fall in the process and no opus is going to be written about their tragic tales...

Damn that was so poetic and serious I can't believe it was typed by my fingers (I never said I was modest folks, just sugar coated nutty!). If I smoked, this would be a good time to have a smoke and admire my blogging masterpiece.Then again, I can't afford smoking, so it is a good thing I don't, LOL!!!

Till next time, take care and laugh your heart out when the opportunity presents itself:)

Switch off your mobiles, movie post in progress damn it!

2010-01-23T09:03:00.007+02:00

So, yeah this is pretty much a defunct blog, one that it's owner keeps visiting for some pervasive reason though, LOL! So, I guess it ain't THAT defunct just in a state of " highly selective hibernation", yeah that is more like it... Today's lesson of madness is going to revolve around movies and the movie going experience. This is by no means sparked by a single movie going event but is more of an amalgam of random thoughts about the process of watching the damn things at cinema theatres. Lately, I have watched a couple of these buggers, namely " Avatar" (in 3D after having watched it 2D first simply because there was no initial choice) and "Sherlock Holmes". Both movies were good fun and I hate when people dismiss watching some movies simply because 'they are silly blockbusters', they are 'American toss and C-list fodder' or whatever. Some movies should be given the benefit of the doubt (although Transformers 2 should be given the death penalty instead).

First there was the Megan Fox cleavage... eh Transformers 2 poster I mean, and all was good... Then they went and made a movie out of it and it all went downhill from there:).

I am sure by now most of us are familiar with the movie going experience in multiplex cinemas. A bunch of people storm the blockbuster movie waiting to be shocked and awed (not really) preferrably in a GOOD WAY (you hear that X-Men Origins : Wolverine!!! Oh, Deadpool's treatment in that drivel still hurts to this very day...please movie gods, make it stop!!!). So, among the badly cooked doritos with cheese (still can't shake the 'industrial oil' taste of the cheese last time I tried those), the pop corn mountains and the ringtone competition of horror there is an actual movie to watch.And at the end of the day, in an era where the options of watching a movie are unlimited, it seems that going to the movie theatre still holds some charm especially for the 'big event' movies.

I am going to get the b*rd even if it means, funding my own movie!

Let's take 'Avatar' for example... So, much hype you couldn't really miss it even when taking a damp... I swear, one time, prior of wiping my perfectly shaped behind (or so I say myself, LOL!) I saw a Navi face coming out of the toilet paper roll in glorious full 3D! (For the not 'Avatar enlightened' , "Navi" is the name of the blue people on all the Avatar visual cues you see left and right). Yeah, all that talk about 'the cinema revolution' and 'the next step in the movie viewing experience ' had finally gotten to my head it seems... The 3D movie experience itself was interesting in parts although I wouldn't like it to become the norm (not on my toilet rolls at least). I have to say in the first ten minutes or so, I could feel my head struggling to cope with the new imagery since our bloody vision is already in 3D and so essentially we superimpose more 3D on our already establisthed 3D watching goodness, thus making our brains go temporarily haywire. Still, 3D or no 3D the movie was good in my book, judged by the merits of a Sci- Fi movie extravaganza with a decent message twist and definitely a feast for the senses (and since I am on a diet, I welcome any feast other than an eating one with open arms, sigh...). Closing pervert line alert... I am still not sure how the Navi "do it" (you know 'procreate', 'do the nasty', 'give eachother sugar' THAT do it, geez!) so we will have to wait for the DVD edition to see more 'joined ponytails' mayhem, it seems, LOL!

And then I materialized near DP's ass and I saw it drawing close in glorious 3D, I kid you not! The nightmares, the horrible nightmares...

The Sherlock Holmes movie was a different beast altogether. I have to say, being a fan of the title character did wet my appetite a bit more for watching this. And trust me, it did not disappoint. Robert Downey Jr gave a superb interpretation of the character but I have to say that the one that truely surprised me was Jude Law. He does an amazing job as Dr Watson and has great chemistry with Downey Jr. Simply put, this movie was FUN! Special kudos to the visual way Guy Richie presented Holmes' deductive logic, I loved it! The only bad thing about the movie was the bloody doritos I tried eating while watching it, I swear that smelly 'semi-liquid' cheese accompanying them can melt any solid substance known to man! Oh, well I lived to tell the tale and brag about how hardcore I am surviving devouring part of it, so I guess a stupid story of movie going heroism ain't a bad way to survive the ordeal,LOL!

Elementary my dear readers... Oh, that was so cheesy, I love it!!!

So, yeah, usually the movie going experience's downfalls come more from something like a girl crying in the audience (damn that Dumbledore death in Harry Potter that sent the proverbial girl into tears making me to want to manically laugh at the absurdity of it all, LOL!) rather than the movie itself. Although, the "Gamer "movie almost made me reach for my tissues and the Russian roulette revolver I always carry with me for such occassions. Unfortunately, I missed...

Till next time, take care all!

Music in videogames can be quite addictive...come on give it a go...

2009-11-24T20:03:00.000+02:00

I was playing this videogame the other day, called "Tenchu : Shadow Assasins" on the Nintendo Wii. I am a big fan of the series although the quality of the games doesn't always justify it.The game takes place in feudal Japan where you are a Ninja trying to keep peace by any means necessary (yep, that would be offing opponents in excessively gruesome ways, yammy!!!). As I was ready to begin a level where rain and thunder were prominent, an amazing music theme kicked in that caught me totally by surprise... It is by far one of the coolest pieces of music I've listened to recently, thus the idea of sharing this with you came to mind. In fact, this idea evolved into posting several memorable videogame tunes in the blog, since this is music that is not accessible to non-gamers and doesn't exist outside the realm of gaming, except from some limited edition CDs if at all.

Let's kickstart the videogame music mayhem then, you never know you may actually listen to something you like...

Tenchu: Shadow Assasins , the theme is called "Rain"simply outstanding in my book!

The Silent Hill series is a horror videogame series favouring atmosphere over "peak-a-boo" scares. This series is renowned for its amazing musical scores created by Akira Yamaoka. There are a lot of tunes I like from this series of games but if I HAD to pick one, it would be the following...

This is from Silent Hill 3 and this video depicts the main character of the game singing the song, which is equally cool and creepy:).

Moving on to more upbeat tunes, there is this little boxing (sort of) game called Punch Out , released for the Nintendo Wii. The game is fun and simple but requires killer reflexes so it is an offering for gamers that can take some serious punishment first prior to beating the game. The main theme of the game is so catchy, I sincerely struggled to get it out of my head:). Maybe it has that Rocky movie essence going about it that makes all "testosterone infused" individuals excited, who knows...

I find this theme really uplifting for some reason. A lot of people have said that it works great as workout companion music! Who am I to argue:).

Time to get seriously spy-tastic on your eardrums now! The game series is Metal Gear Solid and it has more dialogue than any immortal TV soap opera out there. Seriously, with each new iteration of the franchise you seem to watch more and play less... "Talk, talk and more talk" as a good friend of mine had pointed out repeteadly in the past. Still beyond the conspiracy talk (yawn...) there are high production values involved, including great OSTs from esteemed Hollywood composer Harry Gregson Williams. Lots of tunes to choose but the following from the first game I played has just stuck more than the rest...

At least I found this in the sound quality I wanted, the gods of youtube were merciful this time:).

And last but not least (drums rolling...) Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg!!! Say this 3 times fast now(or not)! Yes, it sounds absolutely ridiculous it is great cheesy cheeky fun and it involves a kid dressed in a rooster suit rolling eggs to kick enemies ass. And then there is the main theme which is equal measures cute and annoying and I was humming it throughout the game several years ago...

Yep, it has to be seen to be believed, LOL .I deliberately chose a so and so volume version of this, since it can be either extremely addictive or extremely annoying!

And this theme brings us to the end of this peculiar post. The moment just came and gone. I really don't know if those sorts of posts are enjoyable but who knows maybe if they are, one more could creep up on you at some point (now THAT was a threat if I ever heard one...).

Till next time, take care all!

Deadpoolite starring in "War of the mops"...

2009-11-09T21:16:00.002+02:00

These past couple of weeks there has been a ridiculous alternation of sunny and rainy weather around these parts.And if sunny isn't a problem because "us Greeks feed on" sun , heavy rain is a different matter altogether. During this time of weather madness, DP's lair has been flooded not once, not twice but three times. Keep in mind that I am talking about a first floor flat seemingly "above the level of the sea", LOL! Still, it was more a case of blocked pipes and bucketloads of rain combining in a symphony of extreme flooding. The focus of this post will be on the third flooding extravaganza which seemingly transformed the place from an ordinary flat to a plumber's nightmare. Let's take things from the beginning though...

It was coming for us, I could feel it in my ready to get wet pyjamas...

It all started innocently enough... Sunday morning, sleeping with my gal, being practically submerged under the cozy duvet. It is how Sunday mornings should start in the most cliched way possible. And then it started raining... After 30 mins or so, my gal told me : "Why don't you check the rest of the flat to see if we have any inbound leaks". She muttered these words being half awake half asleep and immediately reversed to her dozy existence. I, being the macho man merc that I am , got up and went to the kitchen... As I opened my eyes and adjusted to the morning light (or lack of if you may) I witnessed the amazing sight of the sink being flooded to the brim and the kitchen floor being totally immersed in water.

The only choice available was evident, as clear as the lack of readers to this blog: "Save the cheerleader, save the world!"(sorry wrong line, "Heroes season 1" subconcious input overload, somehow creeping up on me). Let's try this once more... "Wake my girl up, look for any survivors and get out of this place"! Nah that's when zombie invasion is upon us(I know I've done my drills should such an occasion arise which let's face it is only a matter of time, lol). Better try again then... OK, here it goes: "Alert the troops and fight the good fight against impossible odds trying to keep dry in the process" . Yeah that is more like it, after all, third time is a charm...

And then it was upon us, and all we could do was get wet... What a way to kickstart your Sunday eh? LOL!

So, I woke up sleeping beauty with a "rallying the troops to their impending doom" shout and started trying to empty the sink using any available vessel. However, to my surprise (insert sarcasm...), all the pop culture training in the world didn't seem enough to do the trick. The moment I emptied each water filled vessel and returned for reloading, the level of water in the sink had miraculously rised to a new level of unacceptableness. After certain rounds of pointlessly emptying and reloading water, my gal gave up on the whole notion of "preserving dryiness" and took the main leaking pipe totally out(quick pointless thinking there gal, god I love this woman, LOL!). Heck, if we were going to see our household transform into a waterworld we would do it OUR WAY! As we were watching the house getting molested by inbound water ,we had a cup of coffee talking about how we always wanted an aquarium and that these things cost, but now fate had bestowed upon us a truely interactive one, minus the fishes. Yep, we are that cool (or stupid) sue us, LOL!

I would be a prisoner of the mop for the next 3 hours, serving my sentence with conviction, after I had gone to the toilet to take a leak. You know, water pouring from every corner of the house and all... I just had to:).

Eventually, the rain stopped and it was time for some heavy mopping, preceded by the usual "push water towards the staircase routine because it has to get out of the bloody house somehow". If there ever was a time I wished I was Spongebob Squarepants this was the one. Being made of sponge would be the only thing able to save our floor (thanks f...k it ain't made of wood). Have I mentioned that half the house had become a pond, with the living room in particular having an additional watery deposit, courtesy of the flooded front balcony? And thus, we mopped like we had never mopped before in out worthless dry lives. The whole procedure took around 3 hours of extreme sponging and mopping during which I started hallucinating that I had little kids that were water skiing into the living room shouting: " We have the coolest house ever pa!!!" while I was immersed into the created waves.

I admit, should this madness had been true, it would have made things infinite cooler since there would be some movement, fuss and heavy cursing involved but we can't have it all in life(*sigh*bummer). So, I simply continued mopping like a true greek sportsman (which doesn't really say much, but who cares). Special mention should go to my newly developed specially patented "dustpan pour move" which I used to get water out of the living room through the open window aiming at the drain pipe opening. Jackie Chan eat your heart out!!! This move eluded you for years and now I have the commercial rights to it! Martial arts comedies will never be the same without it, so start dialing Jackie (OK, I kinda of hyperventilated for a moment there, so let's change paragraph for no apparent reason, LOL!).

We would need a star plumber to fix all this up in an acceptable manner but none was to be sighted on Sunday...

After such extreme sports action which had me grasping for a pen to write my will, just in case, the merry couple of no gooders switched on the radiators to dry things up, fooled around on their laptops to restore heart rate to normal levels and then collapsed onto the bed. Yep, such a romantic Sunday morning that was... Ah the memories of... yesterday are still with me to this day:).

Then Monday morning came and the star plumber arrived in all his water crusading glory... OK, we had a couple of hiccups and he tripped a lot but he got the job done. I am a few euros short but a lot drier, bless him:).

Hope you cracked a smile or two, till next time, take care!

"Gamer" : A movie worthy of the GAME OVER screen...

2009-09-11T02:40:00.005+03:00

Today, I went to watch the movie "Gamer" in the local multiplex... Oh, what a grave mistake that was... It all started innocently enough when a friend of us ("us" as in the killer combo of DP and woman crazy enough to love DP) called and told us that he was going to watch the movie "Gamer". My gal proposed to join him and although I was aware of the atrocity against the silver screen that I was going to witness I consented. The premise behind this disaster of a film should have supposedly been cool for the videogaming crowd among which I cheerfully place myself (oh, what a badge of honour for the "gamepad challenged ones", to have me among their high scoring ranks indeed..).

I wish this post was about a fun game and not a crap movie but beggars can't be choosers:) . Still, "PRESS START", you know you want do (why is that, is beyond me though, LOL!)

The basic story was that, in the not so distant future, sexless losers control other people sentenced to death row, in a multiplayer on-line game called "Slayers". As, you can judge from the title of the game, it isn't about psychotic death penaltying geezers exchanging cookie recipes or kniting designs but about on-line fighters blowing eachother to bits in the hope that they are going to be released from prison one day. And so the movie began with such nauseating editing it made the Bourne Supremacy directing look like Wall-E. I honestly had a headache by the end of the first half hour (and let's not talk about my urge to go "Splosion man overload" on whoever contributed in creating this crap). Don't get me wrong, big explosions, meat grinded exploding fools and guns lots of guns are cool when done right, but this mess of direction was like a bad trip on hallucinating drugs (and no I don't mean peanut infused M and Ms although, strangely enough, they do have the same effect on me...).

Ah!!! Constipated Gerard mode in action... Hey man, you didn't blow up everything, missed a spot... or a career in the making who knows... Nah, you will bounce back, this isn't "game over" for you yet( couldn't resist the crappy pun though, sorry, heh).

The movie consisted of actors that wrote 'easy paycheck' on their foreheads with Gerard Butler in particular looking baffled and confused as what on earth he was doing in this flick to begin with. Ah, there were so many memorable moments of poor taste in this vomit inducing celluloid "gem" that I will only provide a couple of examples here (after all I want my readers dangerously entertained.but not uttetly lobotomized): Example number 1: A sweaty half naked uber-fat guy was controlling a babe on-line and another guy was controlling a virtual sex maniac wearing latex...And those two virtual breathing avatars were about to get it on in what must be the most ridiculously camp scene ever.

Then, Gerard Butler entered into the room and broke the sex maniac in half... Smooth Gerard, real smooth... Basically, most of the movie was about this actor breaking other people in half, or shooting them to bits, or (example number 2) taking a leak and vomiting into an ethanol propelled car to fill its reservoir... Oh yes, who needs alternative power sources when you can take a piss, after downing a bottle of vodka, and apparently make a hybrid car move... By that point, the whole audience was either out with the torches and the pitchforks OR plain numb from disbelief at what it had just witnessed. Did I mention that the bad guy, (the looney one out of the Dexter TV series) welcomed the 'hero' of the flick in his mansion, singing and dancing to the "I got you under my skin" song... I mean LOL... and extra LOL and hyper LOL with sugar on top or what!!!

When this is the best scene in the movie, you know you are in the wrong movie... OR maybe the best movie ever made... (incoming slipper from girlfriend, time to dodge, damn that woman has good aim, perfect headshot...ouch!).

I am sure the wacko who made this movie had a lot of money to spare, wanted to pass some sort of weirdo message about on-line communities and how dangerous new technologies can become if not handled right, or had just 'puffed the red dragon' a tad too much. I mean let's face it, naked women tits were flying left and right simply because the 'gamers' of the world are apparently sex crazed individuals lacking the real deal and praying to the gods of youporn, for some Megan Fox lookalike to break into their rooms and f... their brains out. In retrospect, I'd rather had watched "The Running Man" with the "Governator" in the lead role ,once again ,which had convicts in yellow tracksuits trying to survive the killers of a TV show (which sounds equally ridiculous but who cares, I am fighting a lost cause here, LOL!). Ah, the classics folks, don't mess with the classics... Oh well, at least I got a "healthy" portion of nachos with melted cheese into my dieting stomach and felt a lot better about the echoes of my departed cash shouting "SUCKER!" from the distance...

Ah, Arnold, you were half decent back then... and then you got elected:)

Till next time, take care all!

Keeping things simple, a personal maddening paradox...

2009-08-22T00:20:00.000+03:00

For yours truely keeping things simple was never a character trait... Be it personal relationships, job hunting, hobbies or whatever else you fancy, I was never one to live today like there is no tomorrow. There had to be some plan, or hint of a plan or even an illusion of a plan that would echoe a more longterm approach. In some sense, this is still the case but to be honest it hasn't been the way it used to. My gal would teasingly say that I am a Capricorn, thus I plan for plan's sake but being the imbecilic fool that take pride in admitting to be, I beg to differ with this simplified 'supernatural' version. In other words, why bother with the PG version of things when you can opt for a hefty R or even M rating?

It doesn't get much more M- rated than that... Run Splosion buddy, run:).

So, yeah there is a plan of sorts somewhere around my peanut sized brain but it doesn't define my actions anymore. You see, part of the reason I am glad to have reached my current hyper-looney albeit 'vegetabilic' (die english language, die, I will kill you with my non-existing ridiculous words, LOL!) condition is that I am living my life oblivious to personal restraints of any sort that used to impair my evolution as an individual('personal evolution' eh? Oh that was so futuristic from a linguistic point of view, it almost brough a tear to my eye...almost...). I can "cut" the simplicity of my actions out of thin air, it is practically all around me. It is evident in what I do for living, in the videogames I am playing, in the honesty of my feelings towards my loved ones, it is in fact quite liberating. Now before this post turns into a ridiculous self absorbing blissful mess (oopps too late for that...), let's present an example of simplicity for simplicity's sake. And what better realm to dig to, from the inexplicably complicated world of videogames...

I think I finally 'lost my head' with this post... What on earth am I talking about? LOL!

For most women or non-gaming losers seeing a gamepad up close and personal is a frightening experience... So, many sticks and buttons can cause practically a headache to the uninitiated just by looking at them. Imagine playing one of modern games with the many button combinations and fast reflexes required... Oh the learning curve is steep ladies and gentlemen and the horror permeating your every pore is justified, just thinking about it (or not... LOL!).Have no fear though, because even a gaming veteran such as myself has a soft spot for simplicity in his gaming diet. And the name of the simple stuff is SPLOSION MAN!!! (top marks for the made up word to the developers of the game, I love torturing the english language as well guys).The premise of the game is simple: you are a wacked up experiment escaping from an underground lab and you have to ex(s)plode(actually if I put "s" first the word miraculously becomes "sexplode", hmmm... kinky...) your way out of there taking as many scientists to their biotech maker as you can. Now, I am a bioscientist and I should opt for my cartoonish colleagues but I am also DP and there is no fun in rooting for the biofreaks. So, "off with their heads" I say!!! The gameplay is simple enough using only a couple of buttons and it is really cartoonishly funny (for someone with my sense of humour anyway, other sane people call this "silly" I've heard...). Basically, the main character explodes his way through the levels( I am sure a lot of pissed off workers out there have thought of doing the same around the bosses sometime or another...or maybe that is just me, LOL!!!).

Ah, little flamey looney Splosion man, noone Splodes quite like you (oh that pun was so bad... I LOVE IT!).

As time management in my life becomes more essential with every passing day, I try to keep things simple just to make my life easier.It doesn't always work but when it does I sleep better these days... Ah, let me be carefree now that I can, my invisible minions of readers, and let's see how long it will last.Not long enough, I am sure... (bummer, LOL!).

Till next time, take care!

Random thoughts of blank importance....

2009-07-24T20:04:00.001+03:00

Damn that title sounds intelligent even if I say so only myself. It is so damn hard to write about nothing in particular and come up with something that sounds coolish. So, this is a post about random things perplexing my life at the moment, hang on dudes and dudetes...

I guess the fact that I finished this game won't do anything for my CV's credentials but I couldn't resist the b-movie urge to post this pic purely on b-movie principle:).

On the work front I am almost where I need to be but it is progressing ridiculously slow because of set deadlines beyond my control. Still I will eventually get where I want to be and I am currently undergoing a warm up/ training period. You wouldn't call me fully employed but you wouldn't call me unemployed either, LOL! It is all a matter of perspective after all. Oh, and CALISTA, that thing you mentioned about me getting immersed in a bio lab, it is coming, so you might as well lock yourself up in a nuclear banker because who knows what I am going to unleash once I begin meddling with DNA:).

Step aside from the test tubes DP... slowly...:).

On the personal life front, I am pretty content and as much in love with my girl as day one(yeah, there was a woman out there that can tolerate my non-sense after all). Furthermore, we have started making some changes to our humble household beginning with the purchase of new bedroom furniture which looks cool and awesome and, and... basically serves all the right purposes kinky and non-kinky ones... I don't know what will follow but our common life proceeds as good as can be expected and in September we will have reached 2 years together,not bad eh? (of course there is a ton of macho malarchy induced men that would beg to differ but who cares, LOL!).

...bedroom testing in progress:).

On the videogaming front (I can sense Muse, Calista, Zhu and all other female readers taking a nap at this point) I just finished House of the Dead : Overkill on Wii and all I have to say is... B-Movie Extreme Extravaganza doesn't get much cooler than that!!! If you like the B-movie vibe of low budget fims with crappy cheesy dialogue that do not take themselves too seriously,then you are going to enjoy this. Pretty short game, the gameplay is repetitive, as all House of the Dead games but who cares... The coolness checklist is there... Zombie shooting CHECK. Ridiculously funny and profane story CHECK. Did I mention Zombie shooting? Oh yeah, CHECK!!! Pretty short game though, so either borrow or rent (otherwise I am gonna laugh like Joker on crack over your credit card bill coming next month).

Her name is Varla Guns... Need I say more, male population of the world:)?

On the summer vacation front things are more or less preset... This being my first year in the beautiful isle of Crete there are so many places to go and enjoy at this time of the year, I will rarely move my ass away from the place. I am thoroughly enjoying my staying here and I sincerely recommend it as a vacation destination to people that haven't had the luck to visit the island. Come on Google it up, you know you want to:).A week ago, I had a bit of a tour to Northern Greece involving a lot of fun with fav relatives, witnessing an extremely traditional greek wedding (no Nia Vardalos filming crew in sight so do not fret true believers) and having an overall blast of a time. For a week, we were constantly changing places of accomodation and meeting many people I think my brain kinda of overloaded from the vast data input. Oh, well nothing new there:).

Bloody DP is working the hell out of me... slow down man... I am the only brain you got!!!

On the blogging front, this was more a proof of blogging life than a post... Besides who has the stamina to blog, with the temperature so high at this time of the year. With more inspiration will come new blog posts but till then, it will have to wait.

Take care all and see you around!

Why are you still blogging you anachronistic freak?!

2009-06-29T12:22:00.001+03:00

I am sure you have all noticed it... It permeates the once thick blogless atmosphere of times past... Oh, bloggers where art thou? Blogs are closing down with alarming (or high pleasing, I am sure you have you seen the crap that was out there at the peak of the 'sport') rate. I check my links at the right hand column and they ooze defunct from their godforsaken URLs. The number of comments in even the most prominent blogs has tanked beyond any foreseeable redemption and the monster of... Twitter has raised its igly head until the next trend comes out. It is 'lazyman's blogging' for the uninitiated and all the better for it if you ask me. I mean there were so many blogs out there at one time and so many of them were so utterly crap, made from people that can't tell their 'B's from their 'C's. Yet, they made a blog because 'everyone was doing it'. And when the damn thing reached saturation point, when even cats and dogs were blogging their nonsense out, it was evident that the decline was not far away.

Is blogging really 'dead' or it is all a big cartoon conspiracy? LOL!!!

Still... a handful of us keep blogging, maybe not as regularly as we used to but our blogs remain alive for some uncanny reason. Virtual relics of dying ways of internet interpersonal interaction or persisting pioneering doofooses? Either way it is evident that the flare for the 'sport' has gone. Personally, blogging served a purpose of sorts in a time where my life was in between choices and non-choices. A way out of thinking about the 'serious stuff' all the time.And laughing hard at the face of every day's continuously looping habits I did. Now, I stand quite indifferent at the sport with not much personal investment in the sense that I don't really put much time in creating the blog entries or to visit other people's blogs. Yet, I keep feeling a strange sense of 'obligation' to keep my two blogs going, more because they are a part of me and remind me of what was and how life has changed for me since their inception and during the course of their life.

So apparently, old school bloggers are sort of 'undead' with a killer on-line twist... Oh, yes, you can't put a mouthy fool like myself down that easy, you Twitting beast!!! LOL!!!

Which brings me to the main question of this blog entry... Why does each one of you keep blogging? Does this habbit serve the same purpose as it once used to for you? What was the original motivation for kickstarting your blogaddiction and where do you stand with blogging at the moment? Come on fellow blogging madmen and madwomen of the bloggosphere, share your insightful lunacy with the rest of us!

And with those wise words, I end this non-post and await your replies with great interest and curiousity.

Take care all!

P.S. : TOP RIGHT, relative poll, vote!!! Nuff said, LOL!!! Yeah, I know I am subtle like that, ha,ha,ha!!!

What Deadpool thinks of the Wolverine movie...

2009-05-23T16:56:00.004+03:00

I may have the blog, I may be called Deadpoolite and be the zanier comic book inspired blogger, however there is a reason I don't use Deadpool's name as a nickname... somebody got it before me, f*@ing bastard!!! Now that we got the pleasantries out of the way, let's diss out some verbal punishment towards the way of the Wolverine live action movie starring his uber coolness Mr. Hugh Jackman. Don't get me wrong, I like Hugh's depiction of Wolvie as much as the next guy but being a DP fan I wanted predominantly to see how his silver screen debut came along. And "see" I did... But why bother you with my own sorry drivel when his mock-ajesty Mr Deadpool himself is once again among us. Without further ado let's begin this interview that will rock the world of the minions of my invisible yet loyal readers...Major spoilers coming your way, but trust me I am doing you a favour:

Deadpoolite(DL): Hello, my 2-Dimensional Merc with a mouth, how ya doing?
Deadpool(DP): Shut up and shut up!!!
DL: Always the charmer I see... So, I reckon that you have watched the Wolverine movie then, right?
DP: Yeah, I watched up until Ryan Reynolds shut his pup for good...
DL: But that was like 15 mins into the movie!!!
DP: Best 15 mins of my life!
DL: So, how faithful were they to the character of DP almighty then?
DP: If you take aside the fact that I am profficient both in guns and swords which they didn't show, that I have a healing factor which was AOL until my (DP puking in his mouth...) "transformation", I have a full body Spiderman rip-off costume that was nowhere to be seen and that I never shut up, while in the movie I was speechless for most of it, I think they "nailed" it real good...
DL: So would you call it a faithful transfer of your awesomeness from page to celluloid?
DP: What the hell is "celluloid"?
DL: Nothing contagious I assure you...
DP: Don't mess with me boy or I swear to the divine flavour of M and Ms and taco bells that I will have your head!!!
DL: If that is going to bring me any more readers I am ready to pay the price!

What is...

DP: Hey, I am a hitman not a miracle worker... I mean seriously you got a DP themed blog, I am like marginally B-list behind spoiled A-listers: Weblooney Spidey, Green beans Hulkie and Iron "Magnetism intolerant" Man. Heck, even Blade got like 3 movies of his own... How do you expect to get any readership with my ugly mug all over the place?
DL: It is a risk I am willing to take...
DP: Hey, it is your google-analytics funeral dude, leave me out of your wet fantasy of dominating the bloggosphere and all your readers being gorgeous babes worshipping you...
DL: YOU CAN READ INTO MY MIND???
DP:No...
DL: Damn, busted... Anyhow, back to the movie, what did you think of yourself in it?
DP: Well, mistake number 1 they shut me up... I mean OK I had all these cool powers and Wolverine was like toast but a guy on a PC was controlling me typing on MSN messenger I mean that is low...
DL: So, you lost the battle because of MSN lag then?
DP: Damn Microsoft servers, if only I could change my head into a smiley of some sort they would have never decapitated me, I mean it is a common known fact that everyone likes smileys...

What was for 15 minutes or so...

Voice heard from a distance... "All except two..."

DL (Shouting): Noted dudes!
DP: Who was that?
DL: Just the voices in my head nothing to worry about...
DP:Ooookkkaaayy....
DL: So how about the rest of the movie, was there any redeeming quality at all in it?
DP: Blob was fat, Gambit was ridiculous, that pretty much sums it up...
DL: That's it?
DP:Yeah, I suppose it does. I was too busy eating Doritos with cheese to notice. Hugh Jackman was okay, I genuinely believe that he thought this movie was a good idea...
DL: You said "genuine", man your vocabulary is getting better you must be getting soft...
DP: Just a minor side effect of digesting your verbal crap...
DL: What about the rest of the cast?
DP: The Sabretooth dude was having fun but I am not sure he knew why, the rest of the cast died too soon or were sleepwalking throughout the movie which is always good when you want to hit the toilet during a movie...
DL: Did you go many times to the toilet during Wolverine?
DP: Man, I never left the toilet...

And what we ended up with...

DL: Ok then, on the issue of the scriptwriters shutting you up 15 mins into the movie what did you think?
DP:Off with their heads I say!!! That was sacriligiously blasphemous, I mean I had so much wackiness to share and then they went, temporarily killed me off (off-screen as well) and then reanimate me with my mouth shut... A fate worst than death... I really hoped my healing factor would fail me at that point but the Hollywood gods were not merciful with me... Damn bastards!!!
DL: Last couple of questions DP, ready for them?
DP: Sure, who cares your blog can't sink any lower readership wise ,so why not give it it's final death blow... I aim to please you see...
DL: Do you want Ryan Reynolds to play you in an upcoming full blown ultra hyper Deadpool spin off movie?
DP(in teenage girl voice): Ryyyaaannnn, oh I love him so much!!! Go Ryan, here take my underwear!!!
DL(holding my nose): Pffff, man you need to wash more...
DP: Personal hygiene is highgly overrated... Either you agree or I instantly decapitate you!
DL(making victory sign with both hands): You are da man DP!!!
DP: Don't you just love democracy...

It better be...

DL: And now for the final question...
DP: ...
DL: What will happen if the scriptwriters shut you up again in your own movie this time...?
DP: I think that learning to write using their feet is a fantastic skill that they should definitely try since it will become a necessity... Besides, I will be above their heads at all times giving them my *ahem* "creative input". You know use their asses for target practice with my Piranha darts, constantly make jokes about their penises, the works... Ah, that will get them going I am sure. Nothing like a good old motivation strategy DP style I assure you...
DL: That is that then thank you for joining this ridiculous fictional interview that never happened...
DP: Hey man, it is your brain and your insanity, I am just glad I was in for the ride. Now shut up and shut up!!!

Beating some sense into the "movie abomination DP(?)" was a dirty job but someone had to do it:).

And just like that DP vanished into my wacky subconcious leaving a trail of rotten taco bell smell behind him...

Hope you cracked a smile or two, take care all!

Dead Rising, oh save system where art thou?

2009-05-11T19:34:00.004+03:00

Sales to die for...

As you all probably know I am an avid videogamer: 1) When the mood strikes me, 2) When I got the time, 3) Can't remember what I wanted to write in spot 3 but you are still reading this, so you probably have way too much free time in your hands anyway. In all my time spent inside videogaming worlds of various quality and sense ("sense?" What was that all about? A momentary involentarily lapse into logic it seems... hmmm worrying isn't it...)there is one unanimous concept that makes a smile light my nearly perfect face ('nearly' just because I am modest you see): "Killing zombies is good!". I mean what is not to like: "They are dumb, they attack me so it is definitely self defense and they are already dead! Thus, finishing them off is practically an act of mercy since I essentially return them back 'home' being the gaming humanitarian that I am" . If you have ever heard a more wacky rationalization of videogaming on-screen violence I will eat M and Ms until I burst or take their colour (which would make my life highly unpleasant or full of potential and opportunity respectively, LOL! I am a man of ambition after all... LOL!). Now, before you lose what little sense you got left in you dear readers, I will move in for the kil.... I mean I will proceed to the (preferrably undead) meat of this post.

Ah, my adoring blogging fans... Can't wait to read the rest of the post... Who would have thought they would reach such extremes to 'eat' my words of wacky wisdom:).

Once upon a time there was a game called "Dead Rising" and let me tell you it wasn't about impotent old geezers that were feasting on tons of Viagra and had their "deads" "up" and looking for "action"(which would make for a true survival horror game conceptually, come to think of it, LOL!). This game was about zombies in a Shopping Mall, much like the 'Dawn of the Dead' movie(and I am talking about the old movie where zombies were overtaken by turtles speedwise and not about the recent remake where zombies could easily outrun Usain Bolt ). The story of the game begins with the player taking control of the photojournalist Frank West (what a rare and strange name... NOT!). The guy lands in the middle of a zombie infested Mall and the objective is to survive in the place for 3 days until the pilot comes back to pick him up. In the meantime, Frank's "diet of choice" is simple: find out what is going on, take pictures of anything remotely interesting or not and mow down zombies using anything he can get his hands on (excluding killer stileto heels ladies, some "weapons" are better left untouched my male hands...) in the store!!! Now, conceptually this game is a wannabe zombie killer's wet dream of sorts since your choice of weapons include things like a lawnmower machine, chainsaws, swords, bowling balls, CDs and anything you can get your hands on. Literally, if you can pick something up, it can kill a zombie somehow. So then, the game is cool for satisfying the amateur sadist that we all have deep within (or is that just me... damn... here I come baring my insane soul to the masses once more, LOL!).

A fine specimen of the deranged gallery of human psychos that had holed up in the Mall during the zombie outbreak... Ah, the shopping mall, such a warm and welcoming place...:).

So, now that I have established that the game is an orgy of twisted fun let's see where it all went downhill. And when I say downhill, I mean lower than an undead's dress sense and self esteem and that is officially as LOW as it gets!!! The game's main story is structured as case files much like the episodes of a TV series where certain events need to be completed by a certain time limit. If time permits, there are lots of side missions to keep busy (all of them suitably bloody I assure ya, so this is no game for the vegetarians among you). The problem is that the time frame is too strict and if you fail to finish one scenario by the required time the game ends... And let me tell you all the horror I had unleashed as a progressively deranged Frank West in the Mall hadn't prepared me for the horror I was about to face near the end of the game. After making my way through the hordes of the undead via impeccable stylish morally ambiguous ways, and near the completion of the game, I beat the final bad guy and I was on my way to watch the finale... Only, it didn't happen... I had passed the time limit by a fuck.... up minute so the game ended abruptly!!! Let me tell you how that feels after a total sum of 12-15 hours of gaming... IT SUCKS!!! My gamepad fell on the floor, followed by my jaw and the rest of me followed soon after... If I ever structurally resembled one of the undead this was the time... After being pieced together by my half bepuzzled, half bemused girlfriend I realised that I had to replay the WHOLE GAME to reach the finale... And all of this because dear frigging CAPCOM(as in the company who made the game...) had placed only one save slot in the game, so if that was fucked... you were fucked... which makes for a neat little fucked up package come to think of it....

The "betrayal" of the game's save system was too much to bare. So I kinda lost my head...:). That was just a flesh wound in my videogaming psyche though, soon I would be back, head attached and all, h(a)ngry for more:).

Having avoided the stroke from the realization that I wasted 12-15 hours of my life playing a game with the most ridiculous save system ever, I restarted the game and marched through the undead(literally THROUGH the undead I assure you...LOL!) with a fury that the popculture universe hasn't seen since the rage of avid Star Wars fans towards Jar Jar Binks back in the days of the "Phantom Menace" (and I heard that was pretty bad... or so the geek legend says, hahaha). After around 10 hours I finished the game getting one of the crappiest finales available but that didn't matter... I had prevailed VS the twisted corporal stupidity of a videogame developer that made a really good videogame with ONE KILLER FLAW... A save system so badly designed, a zombie would have made a better job creating it for sure... As I put my gamepad on the floor, I grinned with glee. The Deadpoolite VS Capcom contest had ended with DP the winner, it was no contest really:). With those final thoughts I passed out, equally affected by the realization of my stupidity in persisting with this game and pure kinky exhaustion... It wouldn't be the first time and it definitely won't be the last...

And here comes the sequel... better fix that save system Capcom...or else:).

Hope you cracked a smile or two with this twisted tale of videogaming madness:).

Till next time, take care all!

A post from the Bronze side of life...

2009-04-09T16:33:00.001+03:00

The anger of my presumably abandoned readers knows no bounds... Ouch!!!

You wouldn't exactly call me a prolific blogger these days. In fact I would go as far as to say that: "I don't blog anymore...". But then again, who am I kidding, that wouldn't be true and I am too stubborn to let this glorious blog of mine die. So, regardless if this is a blog seemingly hooked on "blogsupport" until it's wacky owner gives it some TLC, it is still damn active. Now, wipe out the single tear coming down your cheek from the excitement that you won't be losing DP anytime soon, get a grip of yourselves! After all, this blog entry has to look like a proper post ,so we might as well act like it. It is a little arrangement I call "blogspiracy".

This madeup word is trademark of DP limited, whoever uses it from now on has to face the wrath of some moneysucking lawyers working for his majesty's the DP the wacky (oh crap, just remembered, I can't afford a single lawyer, ok I'll do the talking in the upcoming trial then... a sure way for the other side to win of course, LOL!).

(ALWAYS READ THE SMALLPRINT). All I would have to do would be to appear in the trial wearing ONLY this and the victory in the courtroom would be mine muhahaha!!! Oh who am I kidding, I would be doomed from day one, so I won't sue after all for the "blogspiracy" copyright. Back to the drawing board to make some quick cash then...:).

The title of my post refers to my new laptop the mighty HP Pavillion 5 - 1299dev ev plus. Now why is it 'mighty' you may ask, to which I would kindly reply : "Because it is MY laptop dammit!!! Ah, the nerve of some people:)". Now I won't tire you with technical jargon about it but it looks pretty cool I have to say. The defining feature of it aesthetically is that it is bronze in colour, thus partially the infamous title of my post. By chance or fate, on the same day, my girlfriend came with me to buy a new mobile phone since her old one has drawn its terminal breath (it has been doing so for months now so spare a used lithium battery for the old bugger will ya...?). Since my gal is all about taking beautiful quality pictures (as in pictures that I am not in then, LOL!!! Just joking people heh! ) she opted to leave her beloved -entering sarcasm- NOKIA and go with Sony Ericsson. And her "weapon of choice" was Sony Ericsson C905. And so we went to the shop to make our virtual dreams come true and feast upon the purchase of new gadgets. I dare you to find me one person in the bloggosphere that could make what is essentially 'buying stuff" sound so cool and out there. Any candidate then? Nah, didn't think so...:).Off to the actual trip to the gadget shop then...

Hello, handsome... Oh the fun we are going to have together:). Not THAT fun you amateur perverts!!! Hey, it is NEW and BRONZE,what's not to like:).

As we entered the high tech realm of credit card genocide one thing was for sure, we wouldn't leave the place empty handed. As the master tacticians of consumerism that we are, we approached our individual preys with caution. Yes, our finances would die in this place of high pricing but they wouldn't go down without a fight. As my girlfriend was surrounding the woman responsible for selling mobile phones I focused my attentions on the laptop of choice. This laptop was part of a larger deal including ΗP Officejet all-in-one, a laptop case and the ink cartridges for the aforementioned behemoth. A pretty sweet deal if I say so myself. However, the 'eyes of the hunter' noticed that the model number on the package was different from the model number on the stand and thus the dialogue with the shop assistant began:

Deadpoolite (DP): Hey, this is a different laptop than the one on the stand I was interested in!

Shop Assistant (SP): There are only minor differences (which was true but who cares I had to make him work for it, LOL!!!)

DP: But I was told that it is the same laptop (featuring my almighty "whiny call of doom" in the vocal department).

SP: This is a better overall deal.Besides you can't expect both of them to have exactly the same price, it doesn't make sense!

DP: Hey, it is YOUR pricing policy it ain't my problem (deadpan delivery I assure you).

SP: But this deal is well worth your money and the difference is minimal between the two laptops.

DP: I will be the judge of that...

SP: Do you have a problem with us then?

DP: Nope, no problem at all just making conversation...(and toying with ya but you'll never know, LOL!)

SP: ...

After all the 'foreplay' it was time to go and pay for the thing since I had enough of his pony tail crapiness. I mean what guy dons a pony tail these days ? Only washed up male rockers and porn stars... He was neither, so what was his excuse:). At least I tortured him a bit which made the outflow of cash feel a bit more tender...

Respect the tail...or NOT:). The only man that can(?) get away with a pony tail it seems. Which actually, come to think of it, proves the point that a male pony tail is simply WRONG!!! Don't do it people, stay away from the tail, go the barber's or something:).

At the meantime my girlfriend had other life changing decisions to make... The ultimate dilemma was: Black or Bronze ( ah those "earthshattering life decisions" are so cool ain't they, LOL!) since the silver /white combo she had originally picked was not available in store. "Babe..." she told me, "I will go for the Bronze one.It seems there is no escape from this colour today..." she concluded merilly. After she had paid her dues at the cashier's and took a bow of eternal commitment and devotion to her new mobile phone, we both took our Bronzastic gadgets and headed for the car. "Hey, it could be worse" I thought, "they could have everything available only in pink which is a crime punishable by death for every self-respected gadget".Mind you, I am sure my gal begs to differ on that one:).

The bronzastic phone my gal got. Looks pretty slick in all its B-R-O-N-Z-E glory (oh shut up DP will ya!!!).

Till next time, take care all!

A hotel on the verge of the twilight zone(Part 2 - Finale)...

2009-02-08T20:47:00.001+02:00

Since I wasn't about to put my mom in detention like a modern day Quasimodo, I opted to give her 'the crappy big room' instead of 'the crappy little room' (you see a pattern in there somewhere don't ya now? LOL). As for the merry couple it would have to do with the doll house sized room for the night and hope that claustrophobia is not something you catch overnight. As DP and redheaded godess fell asleep on the narrowest of beds that night, I couldn't shake the notion that if we woke up in one piece, come next morning , a duet act in mind boggling circus acrobatics would not be too unrealistic a choice as a future joined career goal. And so the next morning came... Oh and what a glorious morning it was, with the merry couple waking up in some uncharacteristic angle at eachother that I wasn't even sure it was anatomically possible before that night. Ah, 'DP the human Play-doh'... Yep, I am sure you can see the business potential in there somewhere, the cool brand name, the licensed crappy action figures, the works. Personally, I was too busy telling my body parts from my gal's, trying to get up without causing any major irreversible injuries at eachother... Confident that a night inside an iron maiden would be preferable to another night on THAT bed, we dragged our carcasses down to the hotel reception.

A room where moving around and remaining in one piece was an artform by itself...:). Geez, who built this place? Some clan of evil dwarfs with illusions of grandeur maybe...

However, prior to requesting some mercy...ahem... I mean some other room from the receptionist the couple needed brain fuel (also called 'breakfast' in more sane blogs, the nerve of some people...HAH!!!). And thus the pair of hungry savages sat down in the breakfasting area hoping for some much needed nourishment, only to be met with a cup of coffee and a cup of coffee and ....wait a minute THAT WAS IT!!! They told us it was Sunday and there was some 'lack of (incoming BS) personnel', followed by more BS that was too incomprehensible for the couple's hungry minds( and not 'hungry for knowledge' let me tell ya... LOL). I swear my train of thought was in the lines of " DP slept bad, DP ate nothing, DP demolish!!!" like some kind of wacked out Hulk red clone. However, since 'demolishing' and 'unleashing the wacky monster to the masses' burns calories and I had none to spare I swallowed what was left of my pride and crawled to the reception area with a single thought in mind: "Must eat receptionist!!!". Eh, sorry that was the Uncut version of this post, I meant: "Must change room!!!". Yeah, that's more gentlemanish I suppose... And so we practically landed on the reception area staring desperately at the grinning receptionist. I swear if they had a paper stand instead of a human, noone would have noticed the difference in the sucker's face. He had that mechanical cyborgy look that most receptionists have and for a moment there I thought I was in some sort of cheap Terminator rip off. In fact, I am sure if he WAS The Terminator there would be only one directive in his programming: "Must terminate client's VISA! Must terminate client's VISA".

How much was I paying for those rooms again? Run VISA, run and save yourself from the horrible, horrible fate of infinite overdraft:).

After some uneventful banter between dozed off couple and receptionist and with surprisingly minimal fuss , DP issued the main request of the day: " That little room you gave us is suitable only for LEGO sized people. Could we actually switch to a room made for real sized people were turning in the room doesn't require a perfect 10 in gymnastics?". After processing the information for a whole second (a new personal best I am sure), the receptionist replied with a dry : "But of course, here is the key!". To be honest after the uncomfortable first night I had a bit of a surreal feel about the whole place and my gal was not feeling much different. I took the key with equal measures of content and shall I say fear... I mean who knew what dangers actually lurked in the 'dungeons' of the new room. As we went up on the second floor and I was about to turn the key, my girlfriend grabbed my already shaky hand. "Let's do this together!" , she said and we turned the key expecting the worst. The door opened slowly in one of those neverending moments in life, when you need to reach some sense of closure but the process takes just too damn long and time seems to freeze.

Did I really want to open that door? Ah who am I kidding "no guts no glory"! Enough with the damn wacky warcries let's open the blasted door and succumb to the 'awesomeness' of absolute bad taste... or better let's NOT:).

As the door was finally wide open, we were bathed in the while light of a hotel room that didn't suck beyond belief! Now that was unexpected to say the least. After picking up our proverbial jaws from the floor, we thoroughly examined the premises for traces of alien DNA. Surely, this decent room that graced our peripheral eye sight could not have been man-made and did not belong in this sorry excuse of a hotel... Either that or the current time warping antics of the LOST series had finally caught up with us and we had been transferred to a time and place when the hotel in question was actually a half-DECENT hotel. The room was well lit, expertly decorated with a lot of refined wooden old style furniture that gave it a distinct, consistent and dare I say cool look!!! Being a sucker for the 'good son routine' I arranged for my mother to get the proper 'non-biohazardous room' and leave the merry couple to occupy the 'post-apocalyptic Mad Max' themed room. That night, as Merc and redheaded godess lied down on a PROPER bed made for humans, prior to falling asleep I couldn't help but wonder that I was either living a day in the twilight zone or had been terribly miscast in a David Lynch movie and noone had bothered to tell me about it...

The David Lynch hotel such a welcoming and "ordinary" place:).

Till next time, take care all!

A hotel on the verge of the twilight zone(Part 1)...

2009-01-22T10:36:00.006+02:00

It all started innocently enough... You know the drill, sick relative in the hospital, booking room in the nearest possible hotel regardless of price and level of service, the works. As my girlfriend and I arrived in front of the hotel in question, a sudden breeze of wind messed up my gal's red hair a little. Perhaps an ominous sign of unholy things to come (man, can I possibly get any more camp in this blog, 'unholy things to come', geez where do I find this stuff...). I lifted my head and saw the sign of the hotel hanging above our heads, the inscription read "Hotel Elizabeth" (how utterly gay...)."What a cliched and ordinary name" I pondered, "top marks for originality guys" my train of thought concluded('train of thought', shit this has started sounding like a bad Jane Austin novel rip off, a really bad one as well) .

He is not THAT guy but he could really be THAT guy, I am sure you know what I mean. There must be a biotech factory or something cloning these people, either that or alien invasion has started and they want to drain our cash first using this grinning lot.

After such amazing deductive thinking, the couple of adventurers entered in the building and walked towards the 'as uneventful as they come' reception area. Precictably enough, the receptionist greeted us in that cliched, run of the mil, forcibly jokey tone that all receptionists greet 'new cash' ('seem polite 101' at its best). Visually, the reception area looked surprisingly decent and that can only mean one thing, rooms must be decent to... Yeah right, perhaps in an alternate universe... The booking was for two rooms: one for the happy -go- lucky couple and the other for Deadpoolite's glorious mum (you can't help but respect the force of nature that is THIS greek mum, so I will shut up about it now and won't reveal her secret superpowers). The receptionist gave us THAT look , you know the one that means ,"everything is going to be alright...NOT!" and handed over the keys to our hotel absolution. I grabbed the keys grinning in the sense "I know I am paying more than I should in this place, so lose the gay attitude will ya and let's get this over with". Amazing thing what they eyes can say sometimes isn't it ? LOL!!! After formalitites were done and dusted, it was time to move upstairs...

No knight came to our rescue when we started ascending towards the great unknown of our accomodation. We were fighting a lost battle alright, we just didn't know it yet:).

In that respect, Merc and redheaded godess gathered their respective carcasses and ascended to the great unknown of their temporary accomodation comprised of one double bedroom and one single bedroom. Upon opening door number 1 we were treated to a single bedroom that was a dream come true for claustrophobic people. I swear, you needed to be an olympic gymnast just to move around in that room without tripping and losing all dignity landing head first every single time. The bed was right in the middle of the room and occupied like 2/3 of the available space and it was as narrow as is required for a matchstick sized dwarf to sleep in. The bathroom was an ideal gas chamber but not a bathroom, so it they ever make another one of those Hellraiser movies, look no further than this place for setting the mood.Oh, the miracles of internet hotel booking never cease to amaze me:).So, what was the unanimous verdict on this room, great for hobbits, bad for people. Yep, that sums it up quite nicely alright.

I needed to have the picture of a decent hotel room here at this very spot. I just had to do it...:).

After squizzing out of the single room, it was time to check out the double room and see if there was anything redeeming about this hotel or hotel apocalypse was inevitable after all. Armed with courage and having conducted all the available vaccination prior to entering, the merry couple dragged their sorry asses into the double room. For starters the room was indeed 'double' which was a big hit with fans as you can expect, LOL! However, the whole look of the place was not particularly 'welcoming'. Let me elaborate on that one. The room had a distinct washed out look, as if someone was a huge Silent Hill videogame fan and thought it would be a cool idea to go full monty with the whole 'spooky room concept' just to cheer up the customers (please guys, try LESS, next time). The people who envisioned the awesomeness of this room's design (probably under the influence of something majorly toxic, hallucinogenic and bad all over...) seemed to have a distinct colour blinding disease or a level of poor taste that rivals that of my readers choice of blog reads (take your pick, LOL!).

Don't go there, it was bad... I (ar)rest my case on both movie and rooms:).

This amalgam of anarchic decoration to the point of 'extinction of good taste' hasn't been captured on people's imaginations since the Dick Tracey movie (and we all know how THAT one ended up...). Colour combinations were all over the place and I would go as far as to say damaging for my eyesight. In fact, trust me when I say that if it wasn't for my gal's veil of red protective lovelocks, this Marvelite would have gone all out Daredevil instead of Deadpool right there and then( Sonar/radar vision is highly overrated you know...). The furniture of the room did not fare much better since it made the room look more like a junkyard of different styles than any coherent desigh choice (think Cher's dress sense with a roomey twist and you are there...). Having seen both of the available rooms there was only one choice, act or submit, and submit we did alright...

(To be continued and concluded in part 2...)

A new beginning of sorts...

2009-01-11T13:43:00.004+02:00

First and foremost I would like to wish a happy new year to all the readers out there. Having taken the formalities out of the way I am returning to a topic that has troubled me throughout the year and has risen its ugly head once more now that my obligatory military service is nearing its end. It is a fact that blogging has taken a backseat in my priorities and that will also be the case in this year. The thing is while my greek blog seems to have a well defined reason to exist, I have often struggled to see the real reason behind the existence of Deadpool's Laughing Den. Originally, I began this blog to keep in touch with the more wacky side of things while maintaining a constant 'writing relationship' with the english language which is always useful. The experiment began slowly, enjoyed a peak of sorts and now has come full circle.In all honesty I feel like I am back to square one with this blog. The problem is, I don't feel so driven by the whole blogging affair anymore. This year has been a maturing process of sorts because of certain issues that have to do, only, indirectly with the whole army experience. Links have come and gone during this year and my interest in communicating with other blogging people has been diminished to a great extent. I am not the guy who is going to ever frequently comment on other people's blogs since I have lost interest in this ever continuing exchange of comments for comment exchanging's sake. There are a few links that still maintain a certain degree of interest for me, predominantly because I am fond of the people that have created them. In that respect, most of my links have gone bye bye as we speak and I am officially out for some new 'interesting writing blood'.

The focus of the blog will continue to be on humourous posts simply because I think people have more need to smile these days rather than anything else. Other posts will probably pop up now just to add some variety but funny posts will still be the priority. Something that needs to be said in conjunction to the previous sentence is that I have often wondered about the accessibility of english for the average reader. English in this blog is an amalgam of proper english and comic bookish english of my own creation that probably render this blog too weird for its own good sometimes. The thought has crossed my mind to alter this approach and make the language in this blog more user friendly but then that would be like diluting the whole writing experience for me and putting restraints to what I consider 'creative writing'. Thus, the writing style will remain the same unless the topic dictates other wise. As far as the frequency of posting is concerned, I am aware it has gone seriously downhill but A) I was never the most prolific blogger to begin with and B) Blogging has become an afterthought in my life and serves a strictly recreational purpose of sorts to some extent. I am never going to blog frequently unless the mood strikes me or I have some true inspiration as wacky as it may be:).

Before wrapping up this first post of 2009, I would like to thank the people that have constantly stayed around since the inception of this humble, albeit wacky ,blog corner and let's see if we can make some more believers of the Deadpool's wacky ways and posts.

Take care of yourselves, the best is yet to come, even if I am the only one reading it:)!!!

Later...

The 'lost' blog entries and other stories...

2008-11-29T22:21:00.009+02:00

Everyone is a critic...

For a guy who has been trying to somewhat organize his life after the enforced hiatus of obligatory military service, I am not exactly doing a bang up job. Still, I am fighting the good fight on the job hunt front, while maintaining a relationship with Ms DP a.k.a. "Readheaded goddess" (a little flattery will work miracles on reducing the pricing of the upcoming engagement ring or so I have fooled myself into believing, LOL!!!). However, the recent disaster that has savagely "torn my psyche apart" (excluding the fact that I 've got no M and Ms in munching range which is probably as worse as it gets in life, period...) is that I have handwritten several blog entries which I just can't locate at the moment. Sure, sure I occassionally track down one motheaten page or two but all I got is bits and pieces of the actual "masterpieces" in the making ( I know, I know I am too good for words feel free to bow before my might and all that...). As I survey my desk for any "proof of write", I can only feel horror at the dangers that may lurk at every corner. Copies of degrees and CVs , mixed with crumbs of sandwiches long devoured and wrappings of supposedly healthy energy bars that stand as relics of hypoglaecymic episodes that never happened. This isn't a desk anymore, it is a war zone and I just lack the will to make things right, or maybe the situation is evidently beyond redemption and I am just cutting my losses who knows... I swear to you, recently, some things on my desk have begun to transform from inanimate objects to full fleshed life forms. "Spore" videogame eat your heart out, you hear!!!

Why buy a game to create cartoonish abominations when I can just type in verbal abominations instead is anyone's guess:). Ah, my awesomeness knows no bounds it seems... Except, when Blogger crashes, which is often, and a natural disaster at each own right, so I will shut up now and stop testing the patience of the Blogger gods:).

With the onslaught of other priorities heading my way and with blogging sidelined, at least for month December, looking for the aforementioned handwritten posts seems like an unwanted nuissance akeen to the last 'summer' mosquito standing, buzzing in your ear instead of the ear of your next door neighbour. The blocked nose, I am currently a proud owner of ,doesn't help proceedings either... Oh, I am becoming such a cry baby it seems I probably need a baby sitter more than a wife to be... (hmmm... that sounded kinky in some weirdly psychotic kind of way... just what I like then, LOL). As I am typing this I am half immersed in a pile of... (don't say it DP, don't say it...) papers [phew!!! this blog is still on the verge of an M(adness) - rating], CDs, pens, pencils etc. etc. It is surreal how I can make such a mess on a desk I am not using particularly often these days... I mean if I used it on regular basis , the poor thing would probably detonate in some sort of glorified nuclear explosion incident, out of frustration of being owned by an untidy geezer like myself. Ah the weight of being DP's messy desk is unbearable it seems, judging from the creaking sounds that I hear emanating from the wooden structure beneath my keyboard. Oh well, time will tell if the damn thing is going to come crashing down like a tower of playing cards or if it is going to go the hardcore desk's way and stand the test of time as the one desk that DP's clumsiness didn't demolish.

Surely you can't be THAT desperate and seek this info here:). And I thought I was mad!

In other stories, the job hunt is going 'somewhere' but not anywhere in particular and truth be told sometimes I think I am chasing my tail on this front . Having been away from the 'greek swing of things' for such a long time has unfortunately shielded me from all the lunacy of greek bureaucracy for way too long. Still, being the good hip (does anyone say 'hip' anymore? OUCH!!! 'poor word choice incoming!!!') life fighter that I am, I am fighting the good fight with a smile wider than Joker's after ending a weekly constipation drought with *ahem* highly "explosive" results (what a disturbingly amusing thought...LOL). Still, at least I am realistic about what can be achieved when I put my skills (*cough* my what? oh yeah those made up things that look cool on paper I mean, especially in Comic Sans, I swear to you guys they ROCK in Comic Sans) and my charm (*cough* yep, I got plenty of that, if you consider eating M and Ms while standing upside down wearing only my underpants ,well... charming, LOL!).

So this is my life then... a job hunting Merc without a gig under his name, in love with a beautiful redhead (with obviously poor taste in men but who cares, LOL!), near the end of my military service and with my humour sense intact (or so my NOW deaf circle of friends keeps nodding/telling me...). Oh yeah, once in a while I blog too... Ah, it is good to be me, minus the lack of any decent jokes in this post and the recently acquired invisibility of my readers (yep, I must have the highest number of invisible readers in blogging history only second to that of my previous post).

News Update 1: I just found one of my posts, hanging between life and death at the edge of the desk. Steady now, little buddy, come to papa Deadpoolite and it is all going to be alright.... Why kill yourself dear handwritten blog enty, a life of infamy and apparent on-line demise awaits in my blog:).

News Update 2: This blog isn't dying anytime soon... The only reason being, I can't afford the virtual bullets to end its sorry on-line existence... Oh well, there is always the next millenium I suppose...

So yeah, I'll be back, I always do, it is what I do and in great style nonetheless:) [modesty is for losers, you know it and I assume it... LOL!]

An amalgam of nothingness... just the way I like it then:)

2008-10-17T23:48:00.001+03:00

I intended to have a pretty serious post in this space instead of this one, I kid you not. However, the cogs of my insanity prevented the revolting development of a semi-sane post appearing in this blog(phew I thought I was a goner for a moment there...). After all I got a reputation to maintain and let me tell you, it has become hard as frozen nipples (what kind of ridiculous metaphor is that?oh well...) to be a master insanist in these already TOO insane for words times. Now, one may wonder(one person that has way too much free time in his/her hands that is) what is the inspiration behind this post. To this enquiry I would reply : "None!" (yeah I am "deep" like that, LOL!). I just had to write something... In all honesty I will unleash some random thoughts of mine upon your unfortunate minds and see what happens... Yep, you are THAT unlucky:).

Check out those killer lyrics... Oh yes, this Merc has plenty of wacky tales in him it seems:). My poor, poor readers...

As I am approaching the last fourth of my obligatory military service a lot of issues raise their ugly heads. My life with my soul mate, my future career path and its hardships , familial peace and videogaming glory. Now, the serious stuff is for another time, today the problem is how am I going to finish all those videogames I currently own (yeah I know, I am a man of immense prioritizing you dont need to remind me... lol). Currently I am the owner of an Xbox360 and of a number of games that have recently reached a double digit number. If I take Gears of War out of the gaming equation I haven't finished any of the the other games since I wasn't even near the console for most of the time this year. As months go by, new titles that I HAVE TO HAVE become available, thus this game library is going to get even more expansive. And let me not start on the upcoming purchase of a Wii console next February... Oh the nightmares of the upcoming games for that one make me ecstatic with agony day in day out (not really, but I had you fooled for a moment there didn't I, LOL!).

No can do Monsieur Pool... I am on a diet... Bummer!!!

Leaving videogaming troubles aside, I am then thinking of my diet. Ah, diet... Don't you just love all the sudden deprivation of cool food and its replacement with badly tasting 'mother nature ' products. It is a common known fact that during this godforsaken army life of mine I have gained weight... Weight gain means clothes don't fit and one starts to consider wearing potato sacs for extra comfort. Still, since I am a good trooper than never cowers before a challenge (unless it involves invading brocoli and killer tomatoes... oh the horror or the pain...) I have recently began this dieting masterpiece of mine with the hope that one day THAT elusive pair of jeans will be refited to my normally shaped ass and the forbidden love of flesh and cloth between them will flourish once again. Oh well, one can only hope:).

I came this close to detonating the damn thing but then I suddenly realized... I've got plenty more to write!!! Yeah, I know, I am a blogging genius and all... Oh stop it... You are making me blush:).

There is also the small matter of "what I am going to do with this blog"... So many thoughts have crossed my mine about the fate of this blog. They have ranged from detonating the host server of it to irreversibly erase its sorry existence from the net, to updating it to a new template coupled with widgets that (what a coincidence...) million other bloggers out there are also using(top points for originality to all blogger s out there then, including yours truely , lol!)... All this abrupt nonsense came to an end when I resetted my brain using a nicely placed hit on the skull with my trusty sledgehammer courtesy of my right hand. After the 'star parade circle' around my head had subsided I realized the error of my ways and how ludicrous all scenarios regarding the fate of this blog were...

Oh ridiculously cliched fortune teller... What will the future of this blog be? Should I persist, this blog will be eventually encoated in M and Ms goodness you say? Ah... as noble a goal in life as any I have to say:)!

You see, this blog is about the content of the posts and about being unique in the sea of uniformness that the blogosphere is. It doesn't matter how many people read it or if they 'get' the 'tongue in cheek' nature of the humour on display. The purpose of this blog is for me to have some fun or share some of my thoughts at random without taking the whole affair too seriously(quite the opposite actually, LOOOLLL, as most frequent readers are painfully aware). It is a good thing that now I have finally the luxury to re-engage in this blogging habit of mine staying true to the roots that spawned the very creation of this blog space.: "All people are entitled to eat chocolate until they burst from sweetness... ". Naaaahhh that aint it, my misled reading minions, the following IS though: "It is good for people to smile and feel upbeat and I'll be damned if I dont give my best shot at making it happen while immensely enjoying myself in the process".

Nurturing a new post is a hard job you know... Hmph... Everyone is a critic...:).

With those last, ominously wacky, words I leave this blog once more, shooting all political correctness out of the sky with no mercy or aiming accuracy whatsoever...Yep, I am officially having fun again in this place! Wanna join the ride ?(if not you should know, that I have a strictly 'no refund' policy in this blog, hey, I am running a laughing business here not charity okay? LOL!).

Till next time, take care all!!!

Let's stretch those dormant funny muscles, shall we?

2008-09-25T20:22:00.003+03:00

How long has it been since I last wrote something in this blog? Was it sometime around the middle ages when the 'holy blog(in)quisition' was hunting me down on charges of poor taste humour? Or maybe the dinosaurs were still roaming the earth farting and causing earthquakes as I was carving my last blog entry onto some dark cave's walls... Come to think of it, my last known post could have been posted around the time of the Big Bang when all darkness went KABOOM!!! and then all known universe and... ,Deadpool's Laughing Den, along with it (unfortunately for humanity but what can you do...LOL!) were created (HOORAY!!!).

My readers had breathed a collective sigh of relief when months passed by without a single blog entry on my behalf... Then one fateful day,(that is...TODAY!) the illusion of a DP-less blogoverse vanished before their very eyes... I am back, just like that!!!

I think you got the point by now...No, not the fact that I am criminally insane beyond redemption with an acquired taste for wackiness infused blogging. The OTHER point... It has been TOO long since I graced this insanely 'divine' blog with any new material (but then again this hasn't necessarily been a bad thing for blog readers around the globe now, has it? LOL). So then, let me tingle my 'funny bone' to test its sorry state. After all I haven't used it in a while and the old bugger must be as rusty as Harrison Ford in Indy 4 (but then again that was CG rusty so it doesn't count, heh). On with the festivities then:

Deadpoolite (DP) : "DP to funny bone, DP to funny bone do you copy? I repeat do you copy?".

Funny bone (FB) (Shoving its proverbial palm up my face): " Talk to the hand sucker!".

DP: "Oh glorious funny bone where art thou?" .

FB: "I am currently unavailable leave a message after Radiohead's 'cheerful' song".

DP: "Argh!!! The pain of Radiohead whining incomprehensible 'mumbo jumbo' in the most depressive way possible never ceases to amaze me... It does help their cause that their lead singer looks like a hobbit on crack... Dear FB why are you abandoning me in my time of need (of a good 'mad-scientific' laugh that is)?".

FB: "I haven't been funny in months!!! My sense of humour is officially more rusty than Stallone's 'acting' in Rambo 4 dammit!".

DP: "That is TOO rusty indeed... In fact that is 'comatose rusty' in the rustometer of the funny scales (what on earth am I typing in? LOL)"

FB:" Truth be told I got stage fright... I can't perform in front of a live audience or any audience for that matter...".

A man is nothing without his priorities... I live, thus I BLOG!!!

DP: " But noone reads this blog... Besides how can you have 'stage fright', you are just a figment of my nutty imagination and I don't do stage fright it is bad for my silky smooth complexion...".

FB: " Still..."

DP: " Have no fear oh once mighty, now 'chicken style' cowardly, FB!!! I will be with ya via all the virtual tomatoes thrown at us by angry readers having the bad fortune to stumble upon this blog corner (let's face it , a life shattering experience like no other... LOL!)".

FB: "Was that your pep talk to get me going again? Because if it was, it SUCKED big time!".

DP: "Flattery will get you nowhere with me!"

FB: " Heh... You moronic fool, that was actually minisculy funny in an uber microscopic level as well. Maybe there is still hope that you will actually make a half - decent joke one day... One that won't make your readers consider suicide as a measure of redemption for wasting their time in this atrocious blog of yours...".

DP: " Oh you are too kind... Come to think of it though, who lost hope so I can find some? Hmm... maybe I'll look it up in the yellow pages. After all they got pretty much every number stashed in there, excluding the Eva Mendes 'date her and mate with her' helpline number. I often wonder why it is not included in that big ridiculously yellow book... " .

FB: "Eh... I'll take a wild guess with this one... Because it doesn't freaking exist!!!".

Being low budget has its considerable... ahem... ' merits' and glorious side-effects:). Oh well, I hope you get some amusement out of the goofiness of my wacky blog-endeavour of sorts.

DP: "Are you for real? No phone service for actually 'doing the nasty' with babes like Eva Mendes, Kate Beckinsale and Rosario Dawson?".

FB: "No...".

DP: " Not even for Drew Barrymore?".

FB: "Nope. But who wants to mate with screw Barrymore anyway".

DP: "You got a point there...".

FB: "Ok then, can I just leave this absurd impossible conversation with ya to save some of my fictional non-existing dignity? Even a virtual funny bone has rights you know?".

DP: " Yep, you are dismissed! You can't go far anyway, you are part of my insanity oozing subconcious remember?".

FB: " Bummer... I had forgotten about that one...".

DP: " Now sod off or face the endless pain of another mega crappy 'funny' line delivered by yours truely!"

And with those ominous words the FB disappeared as it if it had never existed (which is actually the truth but who cares, not me for sure, LOL!).

No death-defying stunt is too dangerous to attract some readership to this glorious blog:).

Now that I have used this "quality" post to fine tune my wacky sense of humour I can officially say that... : "I AM BACK!!!". Hmm... no applause? No frenetic female fans throwing their sexy underwear at me screaming? No even a bloody standing ovation? Geez everyone is a critic these days...

Till next time, take care!

P.S. : I think it is about bloody time I visit some of my godforsaken links and plague their comment boxes with my witty banter, oh you (un)lucky, (un)lucky people ... I promise I will do so soon!

DP out!!! (Finally, I thought I'd never shut up, heh).

Look at me go after the outraged readers of this post had one line too many to read and reacted with force... Lay off the caffeine dudes and dudettes:). It is only mindless fun after all!

The post that was never meant to be...

2008-07-18T13:06:00.009+03:00

Goodbye cruel blogging world... Goodbye non-existing readership of mine and pointless stupidity infused posting... This blog is no more, it has ceased to be, it is an ex-blog that has gone to meet it s Blogger maker once and for all... It was a wild ride while it lasted but my wacky powers have failed me at long last... So then... One more thing left to say before I let my blogging existence fade into oblivion...Read on at your own peril...

Oh come on I fooled ya there for a moment didn't I? HA,HA,HA,HA!!!!! That was an appropriately shocking intro to my first post since... since... well since forever... LOL!!! No way I am quitting folks, but still I had to oil my pranking cogs so to speak:). On with the real posting festivities then!!!

You know I see what is happening with this blog, I really do (when I am not overdosing on M and Ms and see multi-coloured bunnies with afros, dance around me to groovy disco tunes that is...). Because of circumstance and not having the liberty to do so whenever I want to, I rarely blog anymore... I suppose that is to be expected... After all, blogging has sort of de-volved in my list of priorities and has become more of a "luxurious" past time since I do not have the time to exercise it the way I want to (and no that is not by typing, wearing only my underoos hanging upside down from the ceiling, although you never know what my wacky future has in store for me, LOL). All of the above are solid facts but there is a nagging feeling deep inside that doesn't let go of my wacky psyche... I tried to shake that feeling off several times but it still persists... I thought I was going to be driven insane but then I realised that is my natural state so no worries then:). To cut the long story short I created a couple of conspiracy theories about why it feels off whenever I log-on to Deadpool's Laughing Den... So without further ado let's see what this sad excuse of a brain I am plagued with has come up with...

Scenario 1: I have outgrown the habbit of blogging...

The thought has crossed my mind you know... Scarce readership, not enough mood on my behalf to write because of circumstances that will persist until Feb 2009 and just plain lack of writing mojo so to speak. The thought of letting R.I.P. of this blog has visited my mad Merc-y brainstorms once or twice but it hasn't taken over pushing all sanity away (bummer!!!). Two realisations made me push all 'deleting possibilities' away:

1) I like writing too much and I love the way I am communicating my thoughts in this particular blog. This damn place has character and personal style and it would be a shame to toss it all aside just because of a passing phase in my life.

2)I like the visual energy of this place and for a guy who is not big on the HTMLs and XMLs of this world , Deadpool's Laughing Den has the comic bookish style that I wanted for it, although it doesn't deal directly with the subject matter it is inspired from visually.

So then, Deadpool's Laughing Den is here to stay('Hooray!!!' , or "Bummer!!!" depending on perspective I suppose, LOL).

The novelty of blogging seemed to wear off for a moment there but then... it just didn't LOL!!!

Scenario 2 : I have outgrown my readers...

This has been a long time coming to be honest... As I've been visited progressively fewer and fewer of my affiliate blogs I realised that several of them have ceased to be affiliate or even interesting to me. Several blogs have been either cancelled or stuck in a neverending loop of repetitiveness that really didn't add nothing to my reading experience. As I have less and less time to actually visit blogs and comment on them I might as well go with the ones that keep things fresh and interesting. That is why I've given a well deserved boot to several of them thus my links list has become significantly smaller and all the better for it (I like giving the boot, it is just one of those sadistic pleasures that my Mercy punk ass can't get enough off, LOL!). Although the verdict is still pending for few of the remaining ones (come on you blogging scoundrels I can hear you shaking in terror over my blogging gilotine so to speak, LOL!) I won't be making any changes on that front anytime soon (breath a sigh of relief you overhyped links of mine, the day of judgement has passed for the time being, LOL).

Scenario 3 : This blog is 'too unique' for its own good...

This has also crossed my mind and I thought of making the writing style more accessible to the average reader since sometimes the combination of 'proper english/comic bookey english/ english of my creation/english which should have never seen the light of day' can become confusing to say the least (more often than not I am like, 'what the hell is this geezer talking about' and then the realization hits me hard, this geezer is ME!!! LOL!!!). However, this latest scenario faded into the wilderness of my subconcious before it even became a meaningful thought... The reason? If I modify my writing it just won't be me and the whole blogging experience will become a swamp of creative stagness and a burden rather than a joy... The solution is simple... Seek for appropriate audience rather than 'change for the sake of change' which would be sad really... The time when I will get my hands dirty with promoting this blog is not near but I will do so even if I have to increase my wacky rumblings brand of blogging a notch or two ( now that is scary...LOL!!!).

One thing is for sure... My unfortunate readers will once again pay the price of their persistent mazochistic tendency to read this blog... New victim....eerrr... readers are also welcome:)!!!

Bottom line folks of past, present and future is, Deadpool's Laughing Den is going to prevail despite recent hardships and lack of time... The reason being simple: I like making people smile or at least try to do so in my own unique way.Plus the awesomeness that is the Deadpool character comic book creation simply dictates it, so who am I to argue with the head honzo of comic book nutters eh?

Take care and throw the veil of pretended seriousness away, there is no place for it in this blog corner (don't you just love those impulsive sentences of mine at the end of each post? Oh I am so egocentric I think a tear ran down my cheek just by the realisation of my blogging awesomeness ha,ha,ha,ha!!!).

Till next time be well!

Check-in with DP airlines at your own peril...

2008-05-18T15:23:00.007+03:00

The flight of my dreams... It hasn't happened yet but I am still young, thus all hope is not lost:).

So blogging hasn't exactly been a priority these past couple of months, but then again for an individual whose main diet is M and Ms , M and Ms and more M and Ms until he overdoses on chocolate cuteness that doesn't really say much... But enough of this outlandish behaviour already! (well not really...LOL). I may be mad and a nightmare for insurance companies but the purpose of my blogging existence is to entertain the masses (even though the 'masses' may not be aware of my sorry existence... LOL) and I'll be damned to blogging oblivion if I don't deliver the goods one more time (what the hell am I talking about? Do you have a clue? Because I sure as heck don't...).

I believe I can fly like Thor, the Asgardian/Norwegian god of old!!! Well, not really, I am too low budget for that, thus I always book tickets with 'suicide airlines central' for a pleasant flying experience:).

This ominous post ("ominous" eh? I just wanted to use the word, so sue me...LOL) is spawned by my ridiculous urge to share the experience of traveling with a 17 seats airplane for a 45 mins flight. I had never flown before with such a sorry excuse for a plane so it was pretty much a suicide mission to begin with(but since I thrive on 'suicide missions', e.g. finding readers for this blog, I was treading on familiar ground so no worries... LOL). The good news started early for me... As I approached this 'flying death wish of an aircraft' the hostess warned 'us' - 'us' as in "the unfortunate last minute traveling suckers" that is - to come on board 'one at a time' because the stairs couldn't handle our collective weight (yep, that made us feel safe alright, way to go girl... how about fetching those parachutes then...). When my majestic footwear touched the first stair it rocked for all the wrong reasons but I am not one to fall into despair that easily... With the air of a man that flies with such disaster airlines just 'for the thrill of it' I entered the passengers cabin. To be precise, I squeezed into 'the narrowest airplane corridor since the inception of airplane corridors' and practically landed onto my seat after navigating a maze of spread out feet across the length of the aircraft. As I parked my uberly Mercy punk ass into the seat and fastened the seat belt on, purely for formality's sake, (let's face it, all passengers were so close to eachother the aircraft's name should have been 'Jenga on wings' or something of the sort...). Minutes prior to take off, a bewildered woman squeezed into the seat next to me and before you know it, the engines started roaring with raw mechanical power (yeah right...it was more like the equivalent of a mosquito buzzing loudly after a seriousy "boozey/bloody" night...).

Hey don't look at me like that... Any DP post is a reason to P-A-R-T-Y!!! Am I one cocky 'Merc with a mouth' or what? LOL!!!

The thing is that as fate would have it, this plane had air screws and I was "lucky" enough to be seated right next to the wings... And then "The Buzz", the glorious buzz began... The airplane started running like a seriously overweight sprinter (which doesn't really make sense as an example, since such a man would have had a heart attack right upon thinking to run not actually running... but that is a casualty I am willing to accept for the sake of this post... LOL). So off this plane went down the air corridor supposedly accelerating, leaving me to wonder if it was actually going to take off intact or piece by piece... As the wheels left the ground and certain individuals on the plane renowned their faiths to whatever religions they believed in (it is nice to feel safe in an aircraft isn't it? LOL) I was sure that the hard part was over. Apparently the woman next to me didn't believe so, since she was grabbing on her seat as tight as a constipated fool's ass right on the verge of 'exploding' (eww...). To let some steam off, she started talking to me at random intervals saying things like : " this ain't so bad after all...", " I hope we make it...", "this is one of the worst aircrafts ever or what...?", with every single one of her comments being accompanied by a nervous chuckle. To be absolutely honest with you (a virtue not too common for this blog but I have my days... LOL) I am assuming she was saying these things since I couldn't hear a thing... You got it my amateur geniuses of readers out there!!! The buzzing sound right NEXT TO MY EAR, didn't leave much option for coherent interpersonal communication... Oh well, I guess depending on your lip reading skills once in a while saves energy and is 'eco friendly' since noone is "voice littering" your unfortunate ears and the planet as a whole:).

This was no time for pointless Shakesperean monologues and artistic delusions of grandeur... It was a time to shut up and hope that the landing that would ensue would be the one we were hoping for... Don't you just love it when I am in such an over the top mood :)? Oh come on, you know you do!!!

So the short flight time passed 'idyllic' like that, between buzzing noises, prayers for a safe landing (or any landing for that matter, LOL), creaking whispers of bolts ready to burst and thoughts about death wills that should have been written but would never come to be. As the lights of our destination glowed in the distance, a collective sigh or relief blew like a breeze of fresh air in the aircraft's passengers cabin (either that or someone squeezed his ass one time too many and showered the rest of us with his gassy deposit...ew... and double ewww...LOL). As we landed, all I could think of was my girlfriend's hug and how I wanted to tear the aircraft apart piece by piece purely on principle... I disembarked the airplane with the annoying grin of a man that has accomplished something worthy of distinction in his life and I rushed to the luggage claim area. The crappy flight was behind me like a long faded memory and all I cared about was the welcoming kiss of my girl... (yeah I know I am in an uber corny phase in my life and loving it... it will pass in a couple of decades or so... no worries then, LOL!!!). Moments later I was there... "ask and you shall receive" they say and they couldn't be more right(I always wondered who is "they"... however I'll end this post before it ends up like a wannabe "X-filey" relic of uber-conspiracy theories and pointless banter on my behalf ha,ha,ha,ha).

OK then!!! Another post that doesn't make sense added to my posting account! I am sure some wacky blogging knighthood of sorts is not too unrealistic a possibility for this mad as a hoot Merc after all:).

Till next time, take care friends!

"I never saw this coming", a lovestruck fool's wacky confession...

2008-04-15T18:20:00.001+03:00

You know it still defies belief... In my system of life values, M and Ms uber consumption topped the scales and things like being sensible was a distant utopic thought reserved for 'normal' individuals. It is a given then that being madly in love (got the pun right...? 'madly', heh) was not a prerequisite for the survival of this merry Merc. Nevertheless, as fate would dictate it, here I am, exactly 7 months since I met the woman of my dreams (yeah I am that corny, somebody shoot me!!!) mumbling about it, more in love than ever (surely a sickening sight but this is an R-rated blog so deal with it like the good sports you are will ya? LOL). So what is exactly this post about then (other than a colossal waste of your time that is , muhahaha...)?

If you put a knife on my throat and forced me to categorize it (I have no clue why you would even do that but this is a nutty working hypothesis so roll with it...) I would have laughed manically (because it is what I do... being wacky and all... it is all good PR you see...) and would have shouted : " This is a crazy love letter to the woman who has changed my life" (too bad I can't say that she has restored my long lost sanity but beggars can't be choosers...). You see my ever suffering and pain enduring readers, after 7 months of being with this gal I just can't get enough of her (I know I am a disgrace you polygamic males out there but in all honesty "screw you what do you know" HAHAHAHA!!!).

Nah, my girl ain't a damsel in distress quite the opposite actually...but you know... I like to think that we 'saved' each other to some extent... Then again, I am Deadpoolite so I am a hopeless case beyond redemption by default:).

I can honestly say at this point in time that I am totally lost in this warm feeling of having my soul mate out there waiting for me, longing as much as I do to build a common future with me (rom-com screenplay writing here I come!!! LOL). I used to try and put all this into some sort of logical perspective, to try and analyze it, see the glitches in this seemingly 'perfect match up', control the exaggerations that come with being in love and generally put some sensibility in what is essentially an overwhelming emotional roller-coaster ride... No such luck... Regardless if I am as wacky as a hoot, if I want to deal killer blows to pretended seriousness and make people smile, there are just some things that are not meant to be interpreted by seemingly funny wisecracks or a logical train of thought. In retrospect, I can, beyond a shadow of doubt, state that I am more passionately "lost" than the LOST survivors on the island, I have no heroic ambitions to 'save the cheerleader(just my girl), save the world' like the characters in HEROES and I definitely don't want to lead a massive PRISON BREAK from the clutches of love struck hyper foolishness:).

If a common future is meant to be for us, there will be plenty of this for sure... Two strong personalities is all it takes... Let the swordfight and witty bunter begin I say:)!!!

As if this post wasn't corny enough and cheesy as hell, I'd like to overblow it and go one step further (which can only be a bad thing, but who cares this blog is a 'lost cause' as it is, so I might as well enjoy it... LOL!). The current highlights of my life are:

-Talking to her on the phone and skipping a heartbeat when she is saying something cute and cuddly...

-Having her next to me, sleeping, in the few occasions that we manage to meet...

-Losing myself in our kiss and feeling her love cruising through my veins...

-Feeling shitty when she is away, yet certain that she loves me at least as much as I love her...

-Hearing her roaring laughter ringing in my ears like a song that was written just for me...

- Immensely enjoying her teases and jokes towards me (and of course) appropriately responding because "I am Deadpoolite goddamn it and I got a reputation to maintain!!!"

-Hoping that our plans for the future will come to fruition one way or another...

Just when you think that this post can't get any cheesier I put this vid in, LOL!!! Great song though...

You see dear readers, this my gift, this is my curse I am a lovestruck fool and I wouldn't have it any other way!!! (I detect a certain degree of mazochism in the above sentence but maybe this is just me, and my ever recurring madness kicking into full gear, so I'll pass, heh!).

Thank you Vivi for a wonderful 7 months, they have made me greedy for a lot more!!!

Take care ya all and I'll be back when... (guess what) ... I can be back, LOL!!!

P.S.1: Oh, this post will haunt me for years to come, I just know it...LOL

P.S.2: If this level of uber cheesiness doesn't kickstart an onslaught of comments then I will ask Blogger for a refund...wait a minute... using Blogger is a 'free of charge' service... SHIT!!! There goes my conman career right out of the window...:).

Later.

A "nasty" mission briefing:)

2008-03-27T18:51:00.007+02:00

So OK I am a big fat lier that overblows meaningless things in order to get some readers' attention. I am guilty as sin on all accounts of exaggerated blogging and loving it... Simply put ladies and gentlemen, I am Deadpoolite and this is my blogging Kingdom, where I make the wacky rules and readers check their brains out of the exit before entering in the wacky realm (I know, I know this is another one of those intros 'gone bad' where the readers are torn between shooting themselves or staying with me for a couple more lines, heh, stay with me people , you are too hardcore not to!). So I admit that it wasn't exactly a 'mission briefing'... I mean there is no bloody mission where I am, when there is no war at hand, right?, LOL. Thus, it was more of a case of a pointless briefing about various things, especially designed to " mentally sedate" (if not kill...) the unfortunate attendees ' (that would be me and the rest of the tortured souls present in this 'maelstrom of misinformation' , LOL).

Sometimes you can never be too prepared / too armed against human stupidity and verbal malarchy... It is just the way the world works:).

Let's face it, when a briefing, a lecture or whatever you want to call it, begins with how to drive, turns into hazards of various devices, informs about global warming and unleashes -as a last resort to grab attention- career prospect info upon you, only one thing comes to mind: "You are fuck...!!! Royally, utterly, irreversibly, mindfuc... beyond any hope of salvation..." Your brain turns into jello (for me it is its natural state so no new developments there, LOL) and all you can do is watch, hopelessly, as people around you fall like flies from boredom, some of them turn their heads around at 360 degree angles like that girl from 'The Exorcist' and the least resilient among them fall asleep like ODing polar bears in the middle of Winter:). Yes it was that bad... It was the briefing to end all briefings... It was one of those surreal experiences that David Lynch would have been proud to include in one of his movies... I am surprised there wasn't an urgent recruitment of new individuals after the end of this 'verbal massacre' that left people equally incapacitated, brain dead and at the verge of 'the coma state to end all coma states'.

Not even close folks, this 'freak' has a long wacky blogging way ahead of him. HAH!!!. Still it was a close call for my ever aching brain cells:).

The details of this pointless lecturing about things that 10 year olds take for granted and senile old fools still remember are not important. I won't tire you with all the foolishness that made my head split in two and dance the chicken dance before being put back together by the last strand of reason left in my brain (Wasn't that an appropriately 'Deadpoolitian' sentence or what..., amazing in its wacky glory , ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). What matters is that , despite the pointlessness of the whole affair, beyond the hardship enforced by ridiculous words and even more absurd phrases, Deadpoolite survived... I guess I am immune to extreme malarchy by default, I really can't explain it any other way ha,ha,ha,ha... Maybe the madness contained in my own head, part of it unleashed in this unfortunate blog, prevented the 'too stupid for words' reality from sinking in and irreversibly destroying the traces of sanity I got left. Who knows, maybe I got to thank my readers for being there, unwillingly (or willingly...you mazochistic blogging freaks... just kidding...ha,ha,ha) so I can unleash some verbal steam out and keep my wits together. Whatever the case, the awesomeness that is Monsieur Deadpoolite emerged victorious from this 'Hades of pointless lecturing' (' Hades' I write... hey those "300" inspired crumbs of audio visual pleasure are still going strong it seems... bummer...LOL) that seemed to be his brainless final destination. Nope, DP is OK, as OK DP can be anyway... Have no fear for the destiny of the wackylord, cause he is still going strong my ever diminishing reading minions:)!

Still as maddenigly cute as ever, or so I say myself:)

Till next time, be well and I will be around when my glorious moodswings dictate it...

Take care all!

Another 'fun' 3 hours... will the 'fun' ever end?

2008-03-08T15:38:00.008+02:00

Last night I was on patrol duty between 3 am and 6 am (and no that doesn't mean that I was blogging non-stop between those hours although in a perfect world it should have, LOL). Essentially what I was doing was walking between various guarding checkpoints with another unfortunate soul tagging along (yeah I know... it sucks to be him... ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). The rules of "engagement" were simple (no my dear girlfriend not THAT "engagement", LOL): As I was approaching each guarding post the guard on duty was shouting "HALT, who is there?" (how original...). Now, I know that the proper reply on my behalf should have been : " I am Deadpoolite your eternal master, bow before me you mortal scum or I will make you laugh your guts out!!!" but that wouldn't be polite... Thus, I opted for something more casual and military like : "Patrol". The guard on duty asked me to proceed and after a few 'gracious' steps he halted me again (such spoilsports those pesky guards, no sense of fun, none at all, LOL) screaming like he was ODing on M and Ms (or maybe that is just me doing that....hmmm...this post is getting stranger and stranger, I guess I am as wacky as ever then, thanks fuck for that, heh). The guard said a number, I said a number and I proceeded some more (yeah I know, us, army men, lead an exciting life... lol). As I was ready to unleash "the ultimate wisecrack to end all wisecracks" the guard shouted "HALT" one final time (damn he is good and how about that rich flourishing vocabulary.... LOL) to which I replied "Piss off!!!" (nah, not really, in all honesty I muttered some password so uneventful and 'unfun' it is just makes me want to call the "Fun Police" to arrest those uneventful codewords and the 'geniuses' behind them, heh).

By the authority granted upon me by the fun police I am arresting all creators of 'unfun' and boring passwords just on principle alone... Gentlemen, you are sentenced to an hour of stand up comedy by yours truly, monsieur DP (a fate worse than death as some surviv... ahem, people say, LOL)!!!

Those glorious verbal exchanges between patrol men and guards were only part of the 3 hour 'fun ride' (yes there is more...so keep your wits about you... what is left of it anyway... LOL). Throughout the night shift, the weather was being 'playful'. Raining at various quantities, making DP and his trusty sidekick wear their generic black 'raincoats' (think a 'drag' version of Batman's cape and you are half way there...). So there I was, browsing the camp with my 'superhero' cape of sorts looking to bring justice to 'no gooders' (actually priority number one was not to slip down a slope and thus end my superheroish patrolling career on day 1, hahahaha). As we were adjusting our pace according to our stamina trying not to unnecessarily wear ourselves out, we chatted a lot, me and my co-patrolling madman. As fate would have it, he was equally 'pleased' to waste three hours of his life doing rounds for rounds sake, so at random intervals we were making pit stops trying to make time pass just by standing still (unfortunately I am no "jedi material" so that plan didn't really work all that well, heh...). One of the highlights of our conversation was that his girlfriend is also from Crete, Greece which made us smile with glee since women from that big beautiful island (greek ministry of tourism I am still waiting for that paycheck by the way...) have a certain 'glare' of sorts in the eye (some go as far as to call it ' a hint of erupting madness' and I think the fact that the equally nuts DP is dating a girl from there proves their case beyond any shadow of doubt, ha,ha,ha,ha). At this point I have to mention that with the first sign of lightning, we both removed our metallic helmet exteriors since 'DP roast beef' wasn't scheduled for the menu that night (I am quite hard to 'digest' as it is, judging from this glorious blog, so why not save the pain to the fools that would want a piece of me, LOL).

I couldn't shake that question off my head you know...:).

As the night was reaching its end with the two patrolmen banging their heads with each other, because of sleep deprivation, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the first night of many similar to follow... Oh, who cares bring it on!!! If I can take my abysmal blog statistics with a smile on my face, what is a little patrol duty going to do to me, HAH!

Till next time, take care all!

A chunk of familiar madness among the staleness...

2008-02-25T17:15:00.002+02:00

Oh my god!!! What a philosophical title! Am I actually growing old? And if I am growing old does this mean that before too long I will enter this URL and think : "What the f... is this geezer Deadpoolite talking about? He must have some screw loose on his head or something, no doubt about it...". Since I still recognize this URL as a creation of my own master wackiness, I consider myself to have scraped through the inevitable senility of old age once again. But then again, I am not old but I will be one day which doesn't really rock your world as a realization, dear readers, but it does add one more line to this pointless post which is always a plus, LOL!!! Now that I am re-reading the title of this post (yeah I am a man that has 'peculiar' hobbies like reading the same sentence a gazillion times, especially if I have written it, hahahaha) I sense a strange air of wisdom behind my words. Either that or I have eaten something rotten and I just became aware of it (good thing that blogging doesn't transpire smell or flavour then, heh).

I am good!!! Still no apparent logic-infused side effects on this Merc:).

In case you are wondering I will be back in full military duty (probably scrubbing toilets or doing something equally 'brain stimulating' and 'military like', LOL) on Thursday, which means I have all the time in the world to torture my handful of readers with posts of extreme "awesomeness" like this one. Hey, you two giggling at the back... keep it up!!! My self sarcasm knows no end (unless I am stuffed with M and Ms which puts me in 'emergency toilet mode' but that is scary and I will spare you the horror, just this once of course, LOL). Hey, I just realized I reached the second paragraph of this post and I still haven't said anything extremely brain stimulating or remotely interesting to a third party... Damn I am good!!! I still got it!!! The truth of the matter folks is that I have missed this god forsaken place called "Deadpool's Laughing Den". I have missed its unique insane take on an even more insane world (yeah I know I am modest as hell, LOL). Anyhow, before I detonate the bloggosphere with the atrociousness of my self mockery let's move on to juicier stuff... And no, I won't be participating in a nude photo shoot, I am not paid enough you see.Actually, come to think of it, I am not paid AT ALL where I am!!! I really need to fire my agent...:).

Thinking about women in the army is like roller skating for the first time... You want to do it but inevitably you fall a lot and eat dirt every single time:). I can sense some 'girlfriend incoming' missiles coming my way, so a nutty boyfriend evasion manoeuvre is in order:).

Anyway, to a more personal and less -oh my gosh dare I say it...- wacky note, I am doing fine where I am. It will never be my 'cup of tea' (but then again I am no Englishman so who cares, lol) as a way of life and it does have its 'weird uniqueness' as a lifestyle. It took me several days to find a 'rhythm of living' (because I am always beaming with strange wacky vibes you see, heh) that I would be comfortable following under these peculiar circumstances. On the plus side, if there ever was a chance for extremely heterosexual male bonding this is it, since there are only 'traces of women' around and the ones present are higher ranked than my majestic DPness so I need to behave...(as much as someone with the 'insane genes' maxed out can 'behave' anyway).

At this point I have to state that if suspected of 'heterosexual malpractice' (don't you just love my crazy non-existing terminology, hahahaha) with another woman, my girlfriend Siryn will cut my head clean, so to speak, and that is always a great incentive to be 'a perfect gentleman'. Yes, my gal is a 'pacifist' by nature like that:). Ah, gods of monogamy have mercy on me will ya? LOL!!! I am sure you appreciate that this change of lifestyle hasn't affected my humour glands, if anything it has really elevated me to a plane of humourous existence beyond any visible redemption in the horizon (oh how I love "torturing" the english language, it makes my wacky world a better place I am telling you, heh).

Keep smiling because I love it when you do:). I am doing fine so no worries!

This was a first post of more to follow depending on restrictions, mood and time availability. I am around and I am looking forward to check how my blogging friends are doing. No, I am not irreversibly falling into the 'big softie' side of things, I just want to 'friendly torture' them with my 'venomously comical' comments on their posts (hey, a man has to have hobbies right? LOL).

Till next time, take care and I will be around when I can be around (I know, I know, you could live your lives without such deadly threats but what can you do...heh).

Later!!!

Last post till... the next:)

2008-02-02T20:18:00.000+02:00

Well I am joining the military on Monday and I will be its faithful, if somewhat wacky, servant for the next year. As a result my blogging frequency will suffer because I won't have much accessibility to a PC or the internet. Still I will be around when I can be around both as a writer and a reader... And to a certain soul out there that was worried about it, I just want to say, "I won't forget you". As I won't forget the rest of the fellow nutcases that hang out over at this blog (ah don't you feel the love and respect that I have for my readers... it just oozes from every pore of my blogging existence, lol). On a more personal level, I am taking this whole military experience thing as light as I can, treat it like another experience and wait for the days to pass really:).

I really like the following song for some reason. It just fits this post for no apparent reason , LOL!

Till next time then, take care and be well !

P.S.1 : The DP counter top right let's you know when I will be re-entering the bloggosphere at full strength and not sporadically, so you can't say that you haven't been warned when the time comes:). Later!!!

P.S.2 : OK, I confess I really had to put this song in as well since I just really really like it. As for the content of the video, oh well who cares, it is at least colourful and playful :)

Beware innocent movie goers, John (C)Ra(p)mbo is back!!!

2008-01-30T02:37:00.000+02:00

Rambo being stealthy(truth be told, he seems more smelly than stealthy to me...). Okaaayyy... I am sold, NOT!!! :).

It wasn't too long ago that the movie "John Rambo" (a.k.a. Rambo 4) came to my attention and I gave it the "royal" treatment in this past post of mine. As soon as I had watched that trailer I knew that a new benchmark for uber cheesiness coupled with atrocious lameness would be set with this movie. Let's not forget that this is no b-movie in budget, so it has no excuses for being... well... the brainless monster of a movie that it is:). Yet, the male 'sentimentalist' in me prevailed (let's face it guns and boys go as much together as fish and feta cheese.... wait a minute fish and feta cheese don't go well together...lol... oh well what can you do...heh).

I had to see this movie just to have an opinion on it. Let me rephrase that, I had to watch this movie just to be able to present my impressions of it in this blog. Oh the hell with it...let's be absolutely honest here... I had to see this motion picture so I could tear it apart 'limb by limb' and feel good about it. Yep, that is more like it... I was as biased as they come, I knew it was going to be a relic of the 80s with richer special effects and no consideration for political correctness. I knew that John Rambo would be once more a one man army that could annihilate hordes of foes by sheer breathing on them. And guess what, I didn't care at the absurdity of it all:). But enough of my past "expectations"! Time to unleash upon you the hard, cold, truth about this movie regardless of the readership casualties that such a task will certainly evoke. I am ready to pay the price for my insolence (aren't I always? LOL).

Heavy spoilers coming up!!! Not as heavy as Stallone's inflated muscles and definitely not as heavy as his massacring machine gun barrage against every poor extra in the film but still pretty heavy, LOL!!!

So as I comfortably positioned my punk Mercy ass on the movie theatre's seat, I knew I had already experienced the best part of the movie. A pack of warm pop corn in one hand and a diet coke on the other I was in movie land heaven and that was enough. As the main feature kicked in, I knew this heavenly feeling of enjoyment wouldn't last... We were treated to a barrage of crappily edited montage of war images and tortured victims since, guess what, the movie had to establish that the bad guys of the movie were ... well... BAD. Then, a severely constipated Stallone appeared on screen chasing snakes in the jungle. Truth be told he didn't really do much apart from waving his hands and other people grabbing the snake or the other way around (the problem was if he bent over his T-shirt would probably erupt since he was bloated as hell, especially his torso...).

Regardless, after being treated to some montage of Stallone literally sleep walking through the scenery and some more bad guy stuff (to establish that everything Rambo would do to them later on was justified...), a pack of missionaries came into the fold. Rambo told them not to go to the war zone and -surprise, surprise- they went, because otherwise Rambo would have to keep chasing snakes for the rest of the movie and that would be, not so "Rambo-ish" I suppose...The funny thing was that one of the missionaries said : "I've been making this trip for the past decade and I am aware of all the dangers...". As soon as they set foot on their destination, the missionaries were captured (I guess all that decade long experience of travelling to the place paid out really well for the leader of the expedition, LOL).

He is gonna blow!!! And you know it:).

Up to that point Stallone was heavily sedated (wait a minute he is always like that, it is called 'method (bs)acting' I am told...LOL). The pastor that sent the expedition to this suicide mission hired mercenaries to recover the captured missionaries (let's face it, probably all pastors in the Rambo universe have mercenaries on speed dial right next to the pizza delivery numbers...) . Rambo tagged along with the useless mercenaries for 3 apparent reasons: 1)He liked the only woman in the expedition probably because she didn't faint from the stench oozing from his armpits, 2) Butchering bad guys does better box office than chasing snakes, 3) More shooting means less talking and that is always preferable for Stallone and every action hero ever depicted on film.

The Mercenaries although totally useless and clueless about every aspect of their mission ditched Rambo as being, well, a bit gay and sleepy eyed. Moments later, he used his trusty bow for something other than fishing (yes, fishing...) and in no time he was leading them! I suppose using one of his patented 'malarchy infused speeches' about warriors being warriors and not plumbers or something ( and certainly not snake eaters, snake tamers, snake molesters and anything snake related I assume) did the trick. In the meantime, the bad guys were doing bad things over at the camp like ravaging everything that moved and looking menacing in their gay getups. Surprisingly, although in ' extremely horny overload mode' they didn't even think of touching the only WHITE BLONDE WOMAN in the premises. But then again this is a Rambo movie and they were only going to attempt such a feat only secs before the main man, the big cheese, the dude, his majesty, John Rambo himself would be seconds away from tearing their throats apart. How convenient...:)

'Us' action heroes have all the same priorities more or less it seems... It is what keeps us going:). Technically, I am an 'action looney' extraordinaire but beggars can't be choosers, LOL!!!

After the ridiculously edited rescue mission and a courageous sprint of a 'steroids dripping' Stallone through the jungle that resulted in a ridiculously big explosion, the movie entered its final act. Miraculously the Mercenaries were captured instantly by their pursuers although in the previous scene they were armed and dangerous but who cares if they were trained professionals... Noone is as trained as Rambo, except from Chuck Norris who can pretty much level mountains with a single kick as we all know... So when all seemed lost, who saved the day? But Rambo of course...

This is where the movie became an all out videogame with Stallone mounting a machine gun attached on a jeep and massacring every single living being on screen, except, of course, from his allies (because as we all know Rambo never misses a shot and if he does then Chuck Norris will probably stop the bullet in mid flight with his bare hands so no worries , LOL).So despite Rambo being stationary, on a jeep, with every enemy knowing his position, he managed to butcher every one in sight keeping at it for around 20 mins with his ass literally 'embedded' on the jeep(it is a known fact that enemy bullets 'respect' Rambo so much that they never make impact, so no surprises there...). If memory serves a single bullet hit Rambo but by the looks of it, a mosquito bite would be much more lethal and bloody since 'the mulleted fool with a red headband twist' didn't even blink. After lazily finishing off the last bunch of pointlessly standing enemies that happily positioned themselves in his line of fire, Rambo dismounted from the jeep (or slipped and fell from it, the verdict is still out on that one...), just in time to gut the leader of the bad guys who conveniently passed by right next to where Rambo was (I like punctuality in a bad guy, I really do, when all he does is land gracefully on the hero's knife,it is just so 'realistic'...). Now that Rambo had used his trusty knife for something else than spreading peanut butter on bread and all Rambo cliches in the list had been done to death, a Stallone at the verge of a stroke smirked like 'a bloated balloon on crack' before leaving the scene, presumably scratching his ass in the process but that is still open to debate. As for the movie finale, let's just say that "Rambo 5 : Brokeback stoner" is not too unrealistic an option :).

The admiration of Rambo's enemies towards his superb marksmanship skills knew no bounds... The only problem was, that they had no limbs attached to shake his hand and no heads attached to ask for an autograph...:)

Having concluded this onslaught of a movie review of 'John Rambo' or 'Rambo 4' or "the action movie that Stallone managed to complete without bursting from steroids" I have only one question in mind... When is Rambo 5 coming out? LOL!!!

Hope you cracked a smile or two!

Till next time, take care all!

The art of killing time...

2008-01-17T19:03:00.000+02:00

Killing time is a fine art... Some people whine all the time that they don't have enough time and when they eventually get it, they don't know what to do with it! This post is really about me and how I am killing time prior to the 4th of February when I will be joining the greek army for a year's obligatory service. In other words I don't want to go but I have to go because if I don't go I would wish that I would have gone due to the repercussions of not going, LOL! ( I always wanted to write one of this "mouthfulish" statements that make people scratch their heads and read it twice, yeah, another blogging ambition fulfilled! Will my awesomeness ever end? LOL). So let's see how a Merc without employment(everything is in deep freeze because of the army, remember 'the Governator's' performance in 'Batman and Robin' ? Even colder...) spends his days in the savageland called Lamia.

The funny thing about this time period in my life is that there is no actual schedule involved in the daily proceedings. Since my girlfriend is away at the moment I have to find some alternative ways to entertain my awesomeness... A lifetime as an only child has taught me the fine art of having a good time with yourself (that sounded a bit perverted didn't it? Good!!!LOL). Since with every passing day I am coming closer to a year's time full of military gear and excess testosterone I opted to massively exercise my solitary hobbies such as watching movies, reading comics, playing videogames, blogging, probably shoving old ladies in the street and making them bump onto eachother and definitely performing death defying stunts like getting up from bed and taking a shave (yeah I know, I like living dangerously...). Well that was the plan but so far going from theory to practice, from point A to point B, from room to room and from channel to channel on TV hasn't been what it was cracked up to be.

Where is a room full of clowns when you need one to let some steam out....Hey a man has to have hobbies right? LOL

The main problem is, that I feel a certain degree of pointlessness in everything I do at the moment (ok shoving old ladies never gets old but for the sake of argument let's just say that it does, LOL). It is true though... I feel like this date of joining the army hangs above my head like a gilotine of sorts. Let me elaborate on that... It is not the act of joining the army that makes me feel that way, it is the fact that sometimes I wish I could join the damn thing tomorrow! I have waited too long for this stupid deadline to come and now it cant come soon enough... I just want to get on with it and stop having the rest of my life on hold...(calm down DP, calm down, count to ten and visualize a nude Eva Mendes winking at you with sexual intent.... see, the world isn't a bad place after all but it will be if/when your girlfriend reads this, LOL).

At the moment my Xbox360 is 'on fire' (not literally although I may set it on fire at some point as a final stand of sorts against corporate malarchy.... eat this Bill Gates!!! LOL). I have finished a couple of games, namely 'Kameo : Elements of Power' and 'Halo 3'. The first game is about a fairy that can transform into various sorts of creatures each with their own unique abilities in her effort to save her family from the clutches of evil orcs or whatever (you know it is this 'originality' in concept that will be the end of the gaming industry one day...). Besides the obvious absurd fact that there should be no orcs left in any pop culturish creation since ALL were offed in the Lord of the Rings trilogy the game was good fun. Nothing special but at least a colourful generic adventure of sorts.

Could the Master Chief be Chuck Norris?! Now why wouldn't that surprise me... No wonder he has the helmet on , non - stop, for 3 consecutive games:).

'Halo 3' on the other hand is a game where a malakas futuristic trooper has been locked inside his cybernetic armour(I am guessing AGAIN since this is part 3 of this series) thus he is not obviously the 'sharpest pencil in the box' judging from the fact that he hasn't been able to get out of it in 3 games!!! Apart from the disturbing notion that this trooper hasn't taken a leak in 3 games because of obvious -ahem- armour limitations, he is a pretty cool bladder....eh.... I mean fighter that can off anything that moves under the gamer's control. The game was pretty good overall, highly cliched story wise but the presentation and gameplay were ace, so I felt a certain degree of satisfaction finishing it (not as much satisfaction as the lead character -Master Chief- will get after ditching the armour and taking a leak after 3 games of course...).So I guess gaming wise it has been a good period for me...

Reading comics is becoming more of an acquired taste treat as I become older but it is still a nice downtime... If I had to present two highlights(both negative) of my current comic bookish addiction these would be: 1) The Deadpool comic book is getting cancelled now that is has started getting really good (bummer!!!) 2) Peter Parker and Mary Jane are not married in the Spiderman comics anymore since some malakas had the idea of reversing time in the comics thus erasing every part of the continuity of the Spiderman comics of the past 30 years... I think this is such a lame and lazy way to reinvent a character that it defies belief... thus I won't be buying Amazing Spiderman again just on principle (good for my wallet to, hooray!!!).

As I confessed my career is in a state of 'compulsory hiatus' and sometimes I think that my brain went with it... Just look at how "prepared" I am for action, any action for that matter:).

As for blogging and watching movies these two past times have been trapped in oblivion since I don't feel like writing and I don't think I can actually watch a movie without falling asleep at the moment. Some people may call it 'lethargic predisposition' I call it pure, shameless laziness to focus. Because that is the key concept here, 'focus' and I don't want to exercise any of it. I just want to save my remaining brain cells for when they are really needed and dump down my attitude towards life for the upcoming military service. Unfortunately, my brain cells have once again revolted against their owner so they keep operating at full capacity... bloody brain cells... they never listen to me... they just think, think, think and when they want to have fun they think some more... Oh well, it could be worse I could have had the collective conciousness of a sprout so I wouldn't be able to blog for pretty apparent reasons:).

I just realized that this was a pretty pointless post but who cares, this is Deadpool's Laughing Den so anything goes really:)

Till next time, take care and stay away from landmines (what kind of wish was that... oh man... that does it... I am calling my insanist now... was that Dimitris? No, Dimitris jumped from his office window after our last session... Let's call Giannis then... Giannis has been locked up in an asylum muttering ' No DP , pure joy' all the time... Hmmm... better get the Golden Pages or something to find a new vict... I mean insanist to tort... I mean to help me... LOL).

Later!

P.S. : If you think about it I actually talked about the 'art of killing time' in my own unique way... what did you say, "you don't get it"?... Hey I wrote this post didn't I? LOL. There is method to my madness I tell you:)

"DP reporting for duty sir , yes sir!!!"

2008-01-08T14:25:00.000+02:00

Ok, let's get the big announcement out of the way first : "Sometime in early February Deadpoolite is joining the greek army to serve in it for a year's time". Now, pick up your jaws from the floor, stop pinching yourselves to see if you are awake or not and pay attention because it is hard for a non-greek to comprehend this(heck it is hard even for a greek to understand this utter foolishness, LOL).

First day in the army can be a bit intimidating especially for younger recruits(thanks fuck I am not 18...). Oh well it could be worse, one could be hit by a BUUUUSSS!!! Oh!!! That was painful....ouch!

In Greece each guy above 18 has the obligation to serve in the greek army for a year. You can postpone it for certain reasons, like health issues, studies in higher education and other reasons that would justify doing so. Eventually, everyone serves in the greek army unless they buy their way out of it(pretty expensive) after a certain age or they have some serious recurring problem that is not subsiding with passing years. Let's try to answer why this malarchy happens in my country and what its repercussions are for the individuals going through with it...

Why does Greece have such an obligatory 'army' joining policy?

Theoretically we are under constant threat from Turkey which is constantly messing with our borders and wants that little extra piece of the Aegean sea(Aegean sea is the natural border between Greece and Turkey) for itself, despite all international treaties stating clearly where the actual borders of the two countries are. Their fighter jets trespass in our airspace and out figther jets retaliate in response in 'virtual combat sessions so to speak'.This happens a lot of times per day and it is a neverending cycle of malarchy and ridiculous money expenditure for both countries. I have no doubt that our jets trespass in their airspace as well now and then just to make a point. In all honesty, the event of an actual all out war is negligible since Turkey is desperate to join the EU one way or another and they need our support since we are already members of it(this is a rather simplistic approach of the relations between the two countries but this post has no purpose to venture into such diplomatic nightmare territories, brrrr, scary... even for DP!). It is a fact that the rest of Europe doesnt want Turkey because in all essence it is a democracy in paper and a shady military powered regime in actuality. Regardless, the greek state has an active military obligation for all males supposedly because of the 'Turkish threat' but in all honesty in this day and era they just need the manpower to operate the military camps since permanently stationed troopers are not enough to do so efficiently. Anyhow, that is that...

They better not leave me guard the ammunition storage facility because it can get....ahem... sparky!!! LOL

Now instead of boring you out with an account of meaningless facts I would like to take a more original approach and conduct a 'self interview' of sorts (yeah I am nuts like that...). It will be more of a case of things you might want to ask me about it and my response to them, let's see....

Q: So when are you actually joining the army and what division of it are you joining?
A: I am expecting to be asked to join between February 5th to February 15th or thereabouts, the actual 'letter of recruitment' will come my way around the 20th of January(and I needed some firestarting material for the fireplace, brilliant, LOL!). Because of my specialty (I am a Biochemist/Biotechnologist) I will probably be in the health services division of the army but that is not dead certain( I am no special forces material that is if for sure,thanks fuck for that, LOL!)

Q: Where do you serve and will you always be in one place?
A: First one serves in a training camp for a month or thereabouts where he learns the basics about being in the army (booorrriinnnggg, unless I get to shoot someone and make it look like an accident which would seriously up the excitement let's face it, heh....). Then he is stationed close or at the borders of the country somewhere for 4-6 months, then he moves closer to home for the rest of his military life until one is discharged.

Q: So will you be always in a camp or what?
A: The way this works is this. Overall, you got around a month off which of course you take fractured now and then throughout the year. Then again you got a lot of times where you get to leave for several hours if you dont have active duty on the day. When on active duty, which is more often than not, you live in the camp. Ah the life in the army, so simplistic in its pointlessness, I "love it" (no offense to people who have served in the army by the way, just my viewpoint nothing more, nothing less...)

Q: Are you at all phased by this development, are you worried, are you anxious, how do you feel?
A: I think if I went younger to the army I would be 'shitting bricks' from anxiety but now all I want is to get on with it and be done with it. I am not worried about the army thing per se but its repercussions to the rest of my life outside the army. My career will be in stand by mode for a year, my relationship is either going to get stronger or get torn to pieces and for a year my routine will be 'the army's routine' which isn't exactly 'fascinating' (but then again some blogs out there -none of my links thank god for that- are so lame and generic that they make military life seem , well, exciting LOL!)

Let's leave Mr Deadpool himself elaborate on how tough it is to maintain a relationship when in the army... Hmmm... I have a better idea... let's not!!! LOL!

Q: Hey how about some positive aspects of the whole experience?
A: There are plenty actually. I have the excuse of being lazy and not working fulltime for no jackass boss for a year! Hooray!!! I am bound to make some friends out of the whole experience since we are all in the same boat in there and it would be interesting -at least at the beginning- to see how this 'military world' operates and behaves. Oh yes, I am a nutty philosopher of sorts so I will be observing closely heh! I am sure the novelty will wear off soon though:). Also on the plus side, when you are a trooper every time you get back home everyone treats you like a King (no, not Elvis, LOL) so that is always a bonus:).

Q:Tell us now though, is this the end of Deadpool's Laughing Den?
A: Keep dreaming people... I am here to stay, whether you stay around or not it is your choice but I am not quitting blogging. The simple reason is, I love creative writing! I would like to think that this year is going to induce a permutation of sorts to the blog rather than end its existence. I am going to blog less often, firstly because of obvious restrictions/reduced internet accessibility and secondly because I dont want to whine about the army routine day in day out, that would be just annoying. So when in whining mood I will just shut up (I am sure some of you would like me to do this in a more permanent basis but this is not a perfect world we live in, LOL!) The fact of the matter is though, that I like you lot too much not to keep in touch, so whenever possible I will write and comment in your blogs. Just not too often but I will be around.

I hope the army guns have labels like these on them or my military service is going to be a pretty short lived thrill... LOL!

Q:Any last wishes?
A: Oh come on, I am only joining the army it is not the end of the world:).It could be the end of the greek army as we know it though...

Q: Last but not least, what is the real question here?
A: The real question is, not if I can handle the greek army experience but if the greek army can handle the 'Deadpoolite experience'. Poor suckers over there at the greek army, they will be soon entering a world of madness like no other.... poor suckers... :)

P.S.: During my military service all posts will go under an appropriate label since I'd like them to be representative of this period in my life. The name of the label will be disclosed to you later on this month. Till then, normal blogging service will resume as always, heh, you cheerful DP addicts, I am not done with you yet!!!

Take care all!

A tale of utter foolishness in the blog of glorious madness...

2007-12-29T11:54:00.000+02:00

So where have I been all this time one of my last remaining readers may wonder... OK, let's get the weird stuff out of the way. As the title suggests this post is not about any earth shattering events in my life, it is not about my childish past times or philosophical mood swings about the state of things. No, no, no... this is just a nutter's swansong for 2007, a fatal blow to my absence from this blog for a couple of weeks now. It seems these days I am always absent for a couple of weeks at a time(maybe I am cursed and a post per couple of weeks is all I get which could be a blessing for some people I suppose, LOL). Regardless, I am ambitious enough to try and write a post full of nothingness ,oh the awesomeness of someone typing words in just for the sake of it is unmistakeably a Deadpoolian trait. In fact I could trademark it, draw a tatoo on my forehead stating that only I can exercise such foul boring practises and be done with it:).

A man has to keep himself entertained during this 'merry season of the year' and I am no exception... Eat this Santa!!!! For all the gifts you never delivered to me... still waiting for that Optimus Prime toy by the way, LOL!

Ah, the thrill of 'blogging uber lameness' is a shortlived one though... I have to write about something meaningful even if I do it in a pointless way (did that even make sense... well some people would say that my acquaintance with a straitjacket has been long overdue while I would say that sanity is highly overrated, it is all a matter of perspective really,lol). Ok, let's see how DP has been doing in some non-blogging aspects of his life during this 'festivities period'. Yeah, that should keep my 2 remaining readers still around or drive them over the edge irreversibly... It is a risk I am willing to take so no worries:)

Well let's kickstart this DP extravaganza with the eating habits of these past couple of weeks. Being an ex-guy 'who ate a tad more than normal' and a current guy 'who eats sensibly' this is a bit of a peculiar period for me. All those delicacies flying around are teasing me to devour them, no doubt about it. And then, when eating insticts kick in and I am ready to eat like there is no tomorrow, there is this sudden surge of logic sinking in my psyche, putting me in the restraining shackles of "being proper" and "eating sensibly". Thus, suddenly, one of the more enjoyable things during Christmass and New Year's Eve , eating, becomes a mission impossible of sorts and certainly not the guilty pleasure that it used to be not so long ago... BUMMER!!!

As you can see the Deadpool toys had some 'nasty side effects' for the unfortunate kids that purchased them... So parents all around the world beware, Deadpool's branded products are seriously R-rated... raving mad R-rated that is :)

Then comes the girlfriend crisis and the fact that my girl is not close by these most "rom Komy" of days. So, that means, that unless Eva Mendes lifts that restraining order against me and she finally gives in to my stalking advances, sex life is pretty much an utopian condition that I am not going to experience during these troubled fat free times(as you can see being sensible about devouring delicacies during the holidays has come at a great personal cost... oh well at least not in calories, LOL).

It is not all gloom in the horizon though... I mean I got Assassin's Creed on Xbox360 right? Well, the more I play this game the more I realise it is more of a publicity stunt than a game. Don't get me wrong technically it is superb and being an assassin in the times of the crusades is pretty original but the gameplay is getting a bit repetitive. I guess that would explain why I bought Bioshock then, LOL. Now, the problem with Bioshock is not the game itself but me attempting to play what is essentially a first person survival horror game in the midst of the Christmass period. I am sure you appreciate the irony, especially if you consider that I am not alone in the house and family waves are attacking my ranks with worrying regularity. So how on earth can I go about my merry way shooting mutants and sending them to 'another plane of existence' when people around me in the house are too busy exchanging pleasantries until someone 'sugar overdoses' and tolerating eachother while in the immediate vicinity with alarming diplomacy? Yeah, I know, it seems that survival horror is not on my TV screen after all but right there in my living room ha,ha,ha,ha!!! And it is a hell of a lot cheaper than the videogame let me tell you...

I am a sucker for making an 'over the top' entrance into the next year...ah the nerve of some people:)

Still, there is no doubt that all this coziness of the holiday period makes someone feel a bit special these days. I dont know maybe it is the promise of a better forthcoming year that raises the bar of expectation too high or just the fact that a lot of people have the occassional leisure to enjoy the simple things in life that are 'too time consuming' during the rest of the year. For me 2008 will be pretty much a year 'running on auto-pilot' and I will elaborate on this in a future post in January.

Till then, I want to say that I really wish I could visit your blogs more often and just comment as often as I used to (I will be unleashing a commenting marathon towards your way sooner rather than later be sure of that). I miss the interaction with you people more than writing itself or so I keep telling myself. I guess blogging life goes around in circles with its ups and downs, peaks and lows... just like real life then:)

I wish you all to be healthy above all else, to be optimistic about the future even at the face of adversity because if you managed to make a guy at the other side of the world, who is never going to meet you personally, care, then pretty much anything else is as simple as DP muttering a sentence making sense. Come to think of it, that latter thing isn't particularly simple....bummer!!! Ha,ha,ha,ha!!!

Till next time... take care guys and girls and I wish you all the best for the upcoming year!

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (Duel of the fates-Part 3 of 3)

2007-12-16T22:29:00.000+02:00

For the ones among you not in the know, this is the final part of a trilogy of posts, so you might as well check the previous parts to get the complete picture. If you wish to do so, just click the links below:

Part 1

Part 2

On with the festivities of part 3 then...

The shop assistant stared at me for a second like a man wanting to confess a really dark secret. He eyed my priced possession with dismay before unleashing his verbal spikes towards my way... The following conversation ensued between a consumer in a shopping frenzy and a shop assistant knowing what is what...:

Shop Assistant (SA) : Is that the Xbox360 that goes for 299 Euros?

Deadpoolite (DP) : Xbox360 proud owner reporting for duty, sir, yes sir!

SA: Not so fast son... there is something you should know about this particular Xbox360...

DP: Is it really an Xbox with an Xbox360 faceplate ? Speak man, speak or silence forever!!!

SA: The reason that this Xbox360 is priced so cheaply is because it has no controller bundled with it!

DP (in a state of shock): What do you mean it has no controller in the package? It states it clearly on the box that it has one inside!

SA: Some malakas forced the box open and got the controller out so we had to price it this cheaply to sell it... Besides, information printed on boxes is highly overrated to begin with...

DP (infuriated): And when were you planning to tell me this exactly? After I got home and opened the damn box!!! I can pay for a separate controller but I am pissed off now and since decapitating you won't fix my mood, I am putting this back to its shelf!!!

SA(he could't care less): Okkkk....

I wish my "stalker" was as cute as Ayame from the Tenchu game series but no such luck... It was just another "horny" gamer waiting for his chance to taste some next gen gaming goodness. Little did he know of how things would eventually turn out for him...:)

As I was approaching the shelf with my now ex-possession(?) in hand, thinking what nasty things I could do to the shop assistant while in the electronics section of the store, I caught a glimpse of a threatening shadow approaching cautiously behind me. It was another customer that had smelt "blood in the air" or more like the smell of a seriously underpriced Xbox360 bundled with a killer game. As I put the box back to its shelf I couldnt let it go! I really wanted to find the motivation to pick it up, buy the damn controller and get out of that place. But "principle is principle", so I just stood there half kneeling before it, thinking what to do. As I was pondering the fate of this purchase, the shadow that was stalking me took shape in the form of a 20+ year old. The shop assistant saw potential and started marketing the Xbox360 to the other guy, while telling me:

SA: So are you going to buy it or what?

DP: Do you find it professional that you advertise a product and it is half opened?

SA: Look I talked to you in greek alright, you understand greek right? Take it or leave it!

DP: Look malakas!!! I am a fucking paying customer here, so you might as well show me some more respect or I won't be responsible for my actions!!!

SA(taking a step back): Okay...take your time...

In the meantime, the other guy behind me was sweating like a pig resembling a Big Brother candidate waiting to be evicted... He only needed a moment's hesitance on my behalf to "feast" on the gaming juices of this Xbox360. I peeked behind my back gleefully and looked at him with a stare that said : "Sorry dude, this is just not your day...". As soon as this little "gamers' mystagogy" of sorts ended, I shouted out my ultimatum that echoed ominously in the isles of the megastore:

The shop assistant's indifference and the gaming vulture's 'breathing over my neck' wouldn't go unpunished, ready, steady, aim, fire!!! I would eventually prevail, no doubt about it:)

"Screw this! I am buying it!!!". As I muttered these words, leaving the other potential Xbox360 owner nearly in tears (eat this you vulturing scum!!!) I grabbed a wireless controller from the shelf and went to the cash register. There was a queue there and since I had a lot of purchases (a console, a game and a controller) I left my items on an empty register which was closing down (end of shift) until my turn on the open register came.Shortly after, a woman in the queue talked to me:

Senile woman(SW): Why dont you use this register instead so we can pay faster as well...

DP(in a slightly sarcastic tone): Maybe it is because it is closed down, just a lucky guess on my behalf...

SW: But I see the young lady behind you... she is still here...

DP: Her shift has ended...she is just closing down the register...

SW: But she is still here...

DP(angrily) :Look lady, do you think this is my idea of fun or something, waiting on an empty register just for the kicks of it!!! I said the register is closed!!! Do we have an understanding...?

SW: .....

I wanted to purchase Assasin's Creed and after dealing effectively with the "Mrs impatience 2007" intervention I finally fulfilled my goal for the day! Yep, I am a man of immense ambition, no doubt about it, LOL!

The moronic moral of the story is to never piss an angry gamer standing in a cash register, especially not when the game he is about to purchase is called "Assasin's Creed"... LOL!!! The young woman whose shift had just ended smiled at me in an atypical "Thank you!" response. As my turn came to pay, I was in for another pleasant surprise that cemented my belief that this Xbox360 was meant for me and me only... The shop employee hit the barcode in the counter (the price on it was 299 Euros) and the amount came down to 254 Euros, that would be 50+ Euros less than advertised on the price tag! I don't know how it happened and noone seemed to care, so with the separate controller purchase I ended up paying 293 Euros in total!!! Yep, it seems that the gods of gaming had showered me with their mercy for my persistence to venture into the next generation of gaming at any cost:)

As I reunited with my girlfriend, who was standing a bit further back during this "register massacre", and before I started narrating to her my little "shopping adventure", I couldn't shake the feeling that Christmass had come early for me this year, in more ways than one...

Till next time then, take care all!

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (A gamer in turmoil-Part 2 of 3)

2007-12-14T13:16:00.000+02:00

So the big day was finally upon me. I was ready to go out and propose to Eva Mendes(eh....oookkk... minor typo there....hehehe) and buy a next gen console, I mean. I had fought the longing for some next gen gaming for too long I just had to see what the fuss was about. As I entered the first megastore, I moved with the grace of a gaming addict on the verge of madness towards the shelves were Wii games were displayed.... Wii games "yes", Wii consoles "no" though. Shivers ran down my spine, I had to buy the damn thing even if I had to start selling my body parts for it (having two kidneys is highly overrated but then again maybe I'll hold on to them for a little bit longer just to be on the safe side...). Wii was out of stock it seemed and I evacuated the premises before I started to 'verbally punish' people left and right for this insolence. I marched into the second megastore ready to "Wii- Fu" my way towards the Wii consoles but the same fate was upon me. "No Wii consoles" on sale. "This is a frigging epidemic!!!" I shouted... My poor girlfriend had a man in turmoil standing in front of her "We will find it in another shop, you doofus...", she tried to calm me down while her voice tone was leaning on the verge of mockery towards me at the same time(yep I surely love that woman, LOL)... As I was getting ready to bang my head against the first 'non- Wii' shelf of the shop, just to make the corporate heads pay for their negligence of not having a Wii console in stock, my eye caught a glimpse of a shiny, albeit battered box...

This awesomeness signed upon me even via the battered white package... It is called a 'gamer's insight' I am told....actually it is more of a malarchy infused impulse but I won't tell if you won't tell :)

It was the package of an Xbox360 bundled with the game "Gears of War". Out of frustration, luck, destiny or pure desperation I checked the price tag waiting to see a price around 400 Euros as the best case scenario(the worst case scenario would give my wallet a stroke so I didnt dare think of it...). I read the price tag and instantly my jaw got acquainted with the floor... I thought I was hallucinating, I never had an aversion for strobe lights and epilepsy was not one of my killer traits so what could it be... I checked the price again... "Surely there is something off here this can't be..." I muttered to myself (good thing my girlfriend had other interests in the shop so I didnt lose her along with my dignity, LOL). The temptation was too strong... For a moment there I hesitated and my "Wii principles" came in play... "But I wanted to buy a Wii...", "I know all the good games for it..." , "it would be so original and fun..." all those phrases hit me like a ton of proverbial bricks, I felt almost guilty not buying a Wii you see (yep, I was that far gone, lol)! Then the bad DP voice came into my head and shouted : "Grab the box and run you tosser, just go to the cashier's and dont look back, this console has your name on it, can't you see... how malakas can one be?". Without another moment's hesitation I looked behind me for any 'shopping vultures' that may have casted their consuming gazes on my prey and shouted : "This is mine damn it!!!". I grabbed the box and clinged on it with such force I am glad it did not transform into a PSP from the squeeze:). So I reached the register and asked to pay for "my trophy"... as fate would have it... things wouldnt go as smoothly as planned... not just yet anyway...

The Wii is now a 'future purchase'... can't believe it myself. Still tons of fun:)

I think one can see the difference in the approach of gaming... I sure can... oh well back to playing Assasin's Creed (the hooded guy figure in the vid)

At the other side of the register my girlfriend had already payed for the rest of the pucrhases and was waiting for me to 'cross to the other side' with her... As it turned out, she would have to wait a bit longer for our merry fool's reunion...

(To be continued and concluded in part 3)

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (Prelude-Part 1 of 3)

2007-12-12T09:40:00.000+02:00

You know a few months back I was as solid as a rock in my views. "Next gen gaming is just a big con you fools" I enthused with pathos. Just check out my relevant post via this link if you dare (actually if you are not totally bored since it is not a particularly "daring" task to be honest... not as daring as me taking a shower anyway...LOL) :

http://deadpoolstrikesback.blogspot.com/2007/04/
console-wars-how-stupid-can-one -be.html

While I believe that the majority of some of my arguments still stands to some extent I do not longer consider the whole affair a total waste of time(although I dont own an HD TV so I might as well like living in denial over the necessity of an endeavour into next gen gaming...). The point of this "pointless post" is(dont you love these phrasal contradictions that dont make any sense in this blog... I mean as soon as you read one you know it is my blog and there is no escape... brilliant simply brilliant...LOL) that as I was envisioning my gaming future and what would be the console to purchase in upcoming months one name kept resurfacing in my collective subconcious (not a particularly crowded place I assure you...LOL). And the name of the game was "Wii"!!! Ok, ok I know it sounds like I am taking a leak singing merrily to the great beyond (isnt it always a merry experience -i.e. taking a leak- to begin with... up until the prostate crisis kicks in and it becomes an accomplishment of mythical proportions anyway...). Regardless, this "little fun box" called Wii had several things about it that made it more appealing as an immediate purchase:

This is such an over the top ad, so it naturally had a place in this humble blog corner:)

- The Wii approaches gaming in a more interactive way which is fresh. You move the controller and it copies your movement.This opens a lot of interesting possibilies on how people can interact with games so concurrently(blame the terminology on that sick bastar... that was the 'architect' in the Matrix movies...) it rocks (not as much as me blogging but it isnt a shame to rock merrily in the second place of uber coolness) and opens a world of exciting possibilities for gaming design.

- The novelty of the technology and the fact that 'moving things' is more intuitive than memorizing button combinations makes this the ideal platform for people that, well, just want to have short bursts of fun and are not particularly fond of gaming. Oh, how much I wanted to see my mother try to play bowling on "Wii Sports" that would have been the highlight of 2007 for me (yeah it has been a "good year" like that... nah actually it has, LOL).

-Playing with your Wii (that sounded very perverted for some reason, lol) is just fun! You can play fun games with friends and just laugh out loud at how surreal the whole affair is. Grown up people waving their Wii motes at the TV screen trying not to decapitate anyone in range or avoid breaking that vase that supposedly cost a fortune but in all honesty they can live without.

So, yeah playing with the Wii held so much promise. I was salivating(not literally but I am still young so give it time...LOL) in the prospect of buying one this December. And then that fateful day came when videogaming dreams went out of the window and the cold harsh reality slapped me on the face... I was going to buy an Xbox360 dear readers, I just didn't know it yet...

(To be continued...)

Blogging my on-line existence away...(a.k.a. Any news from the rest of the Net?)

2007-11-19T14:40:00.000+02:00

I used to surf the net you know... Being an average user of the world wide web passing the time in various websites, finding information, burning - irreversibly- valuable brain cells in the process... It was a solid on-line existence plagued by the occassional on-line purchase, some chatting on MSN, reading reviews of videogames and movies, downloading some sexy desktop themes(yeah I am male, what a freaking surprise I mean surely this one you haven't heard before right? LOL) .Generally I was being so cliched at using this medium that if I was any more cliched at doing so, I would have probably been locked up by the cliche police in an indestructible cell and the key would have been thrown to the fishes (or to Jay Cam, I don't know what is a worse fate for a key to be honest, LOL).

DP getting ready to blog... Ah, it is so cool to witness a true craftsman of the blog arts just before he enters 'blogging mayhem' mode:)

Then one fateful day where cosmic fates made a wager on my back I was introduced to the wonderful world of blogging.... At the beginning it all seemed exciting enough... It was all about me writing to an invisible and, back then, non-existing readership with my only guide being some misled confidence that I have a decent sense of humour (oh the arrogance of some people...LOL) .Furthermore, I made a self imposed goal of sorts to approach whatever interested me, be it little past times of mine, daily life and whatever my little peanut sized brain could grasp, with a vitriolic sense of humour. High on the list has always been to write some original content in which I would take an ordinary event, distort and twist it in such a way that it would seem like the next installation of Star Wars (not again....NOOOO... enough of grown up people sword fighting using multicoloured lamps and saying lines like "the republic will not left this malarchy pass, let's pointlessly sleepwalk through 3 movies doing mosquito sounds with our swords without passing out with laughter from the absurdity of it all...).

So yeah, I love writing and making people smile and occassionaly think, while not sustaining any sort of permanent brain damage. There I was then, building my two blogs piece by piece , writing, designing, sleeping on the keyboard or littering it with bread crumbs from munching sandwiches as elegantly as a beaver 'processing' wood. Little did I know that this blogging habit of mine would become this self imposed 'dictator' of my on-line experience, throwing all other on-line habits of mine into a bottomless pit with killer precision (manic and sadistic laughter ensues but budget restrictions dictate that this seamless audio experience will never reach your ears, just take my word for it, LOL).

Of course as you will read later on, as blogging takes its toll on your favourite Merc with a mouth, big chunks of his sanity depart with each passing stroke of the keyboard. After all what is a little insanity among friends? :)

Let me elaborate on the above issue with such grave seriousness that it will set a new all time low for the concept. We got a handsome devil (that would be me, oh the genes have been kind to this modest greek madman, the wacky genes that is, heh), two blogs, lots of ideas, around 40 + links in both blogs and a contract with his conciousness not to bore people to death with his writing(which is a hard, if not impossible, task indeed, LOL). Let's check the equipment needed for the suicide mission that is writing in my blogs: Killer wit CHECK, insanity meter peaking CHECK, creative juices flowing nearly drowning their owner in the process CHECK, open mindness CHECK, a lot of other qualities that I won't name simply because leaving my readers' brains in an almost vegetative state isn't what it was cracked up to be anymore CHECK. In all honesty, writing is easy enough, it comes naturally to me: Brain dictates the words, fingers do the typing, mouth(occassionally the shirt as well) drinking coffee , all parts of a well-oiled 'wacktastic machine' of thought and blogging mayhem. At some point, the text is ready and then comes the part where you need to add pictures or vids or whatever to it , so people will take a mental breather between pointless line after pointless line. Plus it keeps people from wondering what went wrong with their lives and they ended up as a bunch of blogging exiles willingly reading the mumbles of a well intended but let's face it, half mad greek individual.

After the 'laborious' process of getting the post on-line, my brain cells are "on strike" from the extra over time. As fate dictates it, another realisation hits me hard (not as hard as a Stallone macho punch line in 'Rambo 4' but hard enough to be considered a close second). I got to visit other people's blogs and, wait a minute, I have to comment in them as well! I mean blogging is a sadistic monster indeed isn't it? So, I open Google Reader only to be faced with the harsh reality that like me, other people around Greece or around the globe in general just won't shut up(yeah I know the PR strategy of this blog just went out of the window, didn't it, LOL). People write and they don't just write, they expect other people to read what they write and comment on it as well. This neverending cycle of reading and commenting is so staple to blogging as is my constant need to shoot zombies in Resident Evil. It is equally fun and really interesting but let's face it, it lacks the punch of a shotgun headshot to a Capcom branded zombie. Yeah there is no substitute from the geeky, albeit sickening, pleasure of blowing a zombie's brain to smitherins (yeah I am "romantic" like that, lol).

For once a video of a Resident Evil game that I haven't played yet. Come on Umbrella Chronicles, don't disappoint, please!!!

So, I am done with posting, I am done with commenting on other people's blogs (hey someone has to verbally abuse the blogging masses right? LOL) thus I have the rest of the daylight filled day to browse the net with all my majestic...eeehhh... browsing skills(?) at full force, right? Well, not exactly...LOL. By the time I even start considering that there is the rest of the Web "out there" all at the palm of my hand, ready for it to be molest... eehhh.... to be used by yours truly, another terrorizing realisation sinks in my psyche (have no fear dear readers, I am not out of M and Ms since that would qualify as an all out personal tragedy, LOL). Thing is, after the blogging overtime I am exhausted! My eyes are on fire (think dracula without the blood sucking tendencies and you got the picture...), I want to go out, I want to break free , I want to do anything else BUT stay in front of the damn PC screen and do anything that involves a mouse, anything visually stimulating and me as an active participant (damn that sounded so perverted it defies belief, no need to applaud my readership minions,LOL).

I said I want to 'break free' and this video clip came to mind... LOL. It is so funny in its 'uber gayness' that it fits perfectly in this blog... That would be 'the funny bit' then, as Siryn would gladly testify in my defense:)

So was there any point to this post to begin with? I just wanted to write this as a moronic memorial to some websites I used to visit regularly, prior to blogging, and now they have been exiled into the back of my head (not to mention on the "Missing In Action list" of 'my favourites' on Firefox). The honourable list of past fallen URL comrades of previously frequent spamming on my behalf, includes:

http://www.dreamdawn.com/sh/index.php

http://www.contra.gr/

http://www.sexydesktop.co.uk/index_main.shtml

http://www.comixtreme.com/

http://www.imdb.com/

http://www.gamespy.com/

Such is the nature of the blogging beast then and not even a blogging Merc with a mouth such as myself can resist its alures. The list of URLs that have 'succumbed to the inevitable' is not important but the memory of their IP addresses echoes in my internet browser's history/past visits option. And with this uber ridiculous conclusion, I leave you once more with a question roaming in your brains: "Is this guy for real or is he just plain mad?". I know, I know what can I do, I am a sucker for non-conventional posting and self sarcastic remarks, so sue me:)

Take care!

Who am I?

2007-11-17T15:06:00.000+02:00

I am a man entering a new phase in his life...

I am a blogger who wants to spread smiles to his readers...

I am an ambitious person working on his vision of things to come...

I am in love and very lucky to have met her...

I am a guy in control of the next two and a half months of his life...

I am an eternal child in my hobbies...

I am really enjoying my writing past time in this blog...

I am in awe of the sensation of letting my creative imagination run wild and have at last the means to channel it...

I am blessed to have met such wonderful people far far away but yet so close....

And above all else I am...

Christos!

Smiling at you this very instant...

Before I put the DP mask back on and let the 'inspired folly' of this blog continue for as long as I can and feel like it...

I wanted to write a short post today, something to reflect my ever changing mood and psyche in these past few months leading to today. After all, the cool thing about this blog space is...

Anything goes! LOL

Take care and see you soon in the funny pages:)

Surviving the 'drilling monster' above...

2007-11-13T12:24:00.000+02:00

You know this was a peaceful little appartment and I was a nutty little Merc living in it. Day in day out, there were some constants in life that were undeniable. Yes, I live in a small town, in a central appartment, where morning in morning out you don't have the sky 'dropping on your head' from some unexpected development. You have the occassional change in the weather, maybe some cultural event happening but you know that at least in the confines of your appartment, you can be calm, safe, warm and as lazy as hell without giving a toss about the outside world. Well, I guess nothing lasts forever...

Nuff said...

It all started approximately 3 weeks ago... I was sleeping the sleep of the "just and wacky" tossing wisecracks to unfortunate fools in my dreams or sexing it up with Ms Eva Mendes(what a sad, sad little man I am, LOL) or watching some too weird sci fi opus of my own creation playing in the media player of my collective subconcious. You see, future blog entries do creep their ugly head in my mind even when I am asleep. I am that far gone:). As fate would dictate it, the universe had different plans for my immediate domestic well being. It all started with a buzz, some little drilling sounds coming from above, slow, calculating, testing, drilling 'baby steps'... I woke up more puzzled than annoyed... I was like : "What the f...k? Who dares interrupt the beauty sleep of Deadpoolite, the man who makes asylums tremble at the hearing of his very name, at the notion that he may visit them and stay permanently there one day"? More than anything, I was curious... Curious at what insolent beast was making those drilling sounds so close to a man who can reduce another living being to shivering laughter with only weapons his sharp wit and his self sarcastic quotes. "How dare you?" I shouted at the invisible invader above me. "Better monsters than you have tried you howling fool, this means war motherf...ng prick, this means war!!!".

Deadpoolite humming merrily: "Everyone is DP fighting..."! Hey, who gives a toss about copy writing laws right? I am making this my 'DP theme' for the day:)

Despite my spiteful comment, do not be fooled by such misleading social outbursts on my behalf... One of my most admirable traits is patience... I may have other petty character traits but I am ridiculously patient as a person. I am not saying I don't have a short fuse with anger sometimes but it is almost never 'lit' by impatience for something that is about to happen or for something bad/annoying that is already happening. I just have the ability to wait up as long as it takes, having a silly confident smile on my face, that it is all going to play out my way at the end. It is truely 'sickening' for people around me, I notice, who are fuming and swearing all the time in e.g. queues everywhere, trying to save those precious little minutes to finish up an errand faster. Besides the point, as I have so eloquently put it in the past (and this a 100% DP branded quote I assure you):"Greeks only queue up properly at the escalators or at passport control in the airport simply because it is too narrow not too...". However, I have strayed a bit from the main attraction of this post which is of course "the drilling monster" and its antics...

"Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!!!" Yeah right...

And so the story of my torture began that day... Every single morning the drilling monster was punctual to our "duelling date" of sorts... It always seemed to test the defenses of the ceiling above me... looking for that weak spot to drill through and 'embrace the fool beneath'(that would be me then, LOL) or bury him in a load of ceiling debris. What was DP's reaction in the first 10 days or so, one passing reader may wonder... I was laughing at the sight (or to be precise sound, LOL) of the danger lurking above and at the 'drilling menace's' unknown face. I wouldn't be intimidated by some drilling monster that was trespassing on DP territory... we both knew who would prevail in the end.... Or so I thought....

'Patient DP or not so patient DP', the 'monster' has persisted... It has proved to be more capable to annoy me than I thought... it has been buying time...stalling... testing the weak spots of my mental resistances... putting the volume threshold of my hearing ability to the test... every single morning... every single day. Its tactics were simple yet effective, even a mumbling fool like me could see : " Always attack with rage when DP is deeply asleep... right above his head... right above his bedroom... be his music in the morning, the first thing he hears when he opens his eyes". This is a battle of wits alright... it is a 'man vs technology' duel, a man's last stand against noise pollution against an enemy invisible but creepily able to make its presence felt with the help of sound waves... The monster has not been the only one testing the opposite party... DP has been learning as well... I have studied its patterns, when it raises its ugly head in the morning, when it goes to sleep, when it resumes its unholy drilling mayhem above my head. All is crystal clear, being the uber nutty strategist that I am, I have tried to design some defensive strategies to make the drilling monster fall into a false sense of security before I retaliate with extreme prejudice... These tactics have never failed me before... but fate has decided that this once I wasn't the one who was going to smile at the end (at least not in the shorterm...).

All this progress I made with my 'insanist' to somewhat alleviate my insanity were in vain... I am BACK!!! and someone will pay (and I am not talking money... more like the 'currency of pain')... LOL

The monster has persisted for a couple of weeks now... reluctant to stop... drilling its merry way into my ceiling and sometimes I feel into my skull. I don't need an alarm clock anymore, I don't need the vibration function on my game console's controller, I don't need to shake the shaker to make cold frappe coffee anymore... There is no reason to pump up the volume in survival horror games to creep myself out, there is no need to listen to remixes of songs anymore... every song playing in my appartment is remixed by the 'Drill DJ' now:). I know there is a purpose why the 'monster' is drilling so persistently on the concrete boundary above me, it has an actual motivation and a goal to achieve. Sometimes, it seems to be drilling at the exact same spot, like it is searching for oil or something... localization of sound is highly overrated anyway by now... it is all one big drilling mess in my head. I will not be subdued, I will not be defeated but I will give the 'monster' sometime to realize the error of its ways and retreat to whatever manifacturing hell hole it has crawled out from... If it does sooner rather than later it will have a chance to survive my wrath... Because you know, a patient man's wrath is not to be toyed with... it just accumulates in, bottled up, subversive but not totally dormant... always longing for that unfortunate fool or occassion who is going to accidentaly release it... Some doors are never meant to be opened you see... I am patient, I am nuts, I am an all around nice guy but if this drilling lunacy doesn't come to an end soon, there will be only one course of action: "Grab the drilling monster from the proverbial throat and shove it up it's handler's -not so proverbial- ass!!!" . Drilling monster.... you have been warned... next time it will be your terminal stop in this plane of existence...and I will enjoy every fricking moment of it , muhahahhaha!!!!

If I am going to go through with this I pity the fool who 'drills merrily' upstairs... let's just say it is going to be a long way down for him...:)

P.S. Essentially, someone is drilling on the floor above my head getting to my nerves... but I couldn't just write that could I now? This is "Deadpool's Laughing Den", LOL!!!

Two cousins, one videogame, lots of laughs, little bursts of shameless fun...

2007-11-07T05:22:00.000+02:00

It is no earth shattering secret that I was born in Thessaloniki, Northern Greece. Thessaloniki (Salonica for short) is where most of my mother's family is and I do grasp any occassion I get to visit the place. I am lucky to have close bonds with my relatives over there but as is the case with relatives, I have people I like more than others. One of the unfortunate suckers I am really close to is my cousin Thomas(for the rest of the world my name is Christos in case you have been stranded in a deserted island for the last 50 posts). With Thomas we share a common superpower of sorts... I can understand what he thinks before he says it and vice versa and it is more often than not that we end up laughing like madmen in family reunions with the rest of the family looking bewildered and puzzled. Yeah, I know, two "laughing mutants" stranded in a world that fears and hates them for laughing for no apparent reason. Life is fun like that , you see:)

One of the highlights of me staying in Thomas' place is when we dig out of an enormous pile of dust and spider webbing his trusty heroic SEGA Saturn console and we play two player sessions of a "SEGA made" game called "Athlete Kings" or "Decathlete" depending on region of release. This bloody game does exactly what it's title suggests(make us Kings of the athlete's world maybe? Okay, that was beyond lame...LOL). Essentially, "this exercise in pointlessly wasting time" pits two moronic gamers against eachother for a series of 10 track and field events with the ultimate goal being to outclass your opponent, gather more total points and make him cower in humiliation when he is beaten (yeah, I know I am a good sport like that, LOL). The funny thing about this game that makes me write this post is the method of controlling your sportsman in each event. This is a combination of good finger tapping coordination, stupidity infused concentration and some luck. More importantly though, it fuels a lot of laughs between me and my cousin because of the absurdity of it all:) Let me elaborate...

Absurdity filled post coming up... please select your character:)

100 metres dash: This event requires that we press two buttons in fast sequence and in coordination to make our athlete run faster than the opponent. Problem is you really need to do it fast so more often than not we (as in the cousins) end up more tired than the athletes on the screen(I am sure in one of the upcoming sessions someone is going to lose a finger or something...oh the passion...oh the commitment...oh the pain...LOL) . What is really funny though is, because each one of us sees the other one being "tortured " by this arduous control method (to the point of having his face turning red and fuming), we both start laughing uncontrollably which kind of fucks up our record times to be honest. I always have a need to empty my bladder while doing this event I don't know it must be a defense mechanism of sorts against excess laughter:) Come to think of it maybe I do this intentionally to some subconcious level. I mean, the more I want to go to the toilet, the faster I am going to make my athlete run, thus the faster the race will be over before I visit the toilet... :) You know my deductive logic is too good for this plane of existence sometimes LOL!!!

Long Jump: This event requires good tapping fingers coordination to power up the sprint of your athlete, then at the opportune moment you press the jump button at the right angle and you see your athlete fly or eat dirt, depending on your timing. I have to say, whenever I choose the Japanish dude (there is a selection of characters before one begin's to play) he always ends up being disqualified even if the jump is perfect. This is a bug of the game but being the uber conspiracy theorist that I am I do share the notion that it could be an intentional glitch. I don't know, maybe to punish the Japanese for unleashing the Pokemon and/or Yu-Gi-Oh foolishness upon us, who knows...(and I do know that SEGA is a Japanese company so it could be some self induced punishment, a gaming sepuku of sorts...)

Shot Put: You push the button and if you time it right the athlete throws the sphere to the great unknown. A nice relaxing event in which even a comatose patient has a chance of excelling. Yep, it is THAT easy:) I always think of existential stuff when participating in this event, like what I am going to eat for lunch, if my girlfriend is "doing the nasty" with someone else, when will I be able to buy a PS3 without having to sell my body, you know, trivial things like that:)

Something tells me my readers have already assumed this position and will start running away from me to survive the absurdity of this post any moment now...:)

High Jump: High Jump used to be an event of immense frustration for the both of us. We were running pressing the buttons in quick succession, timing our jump right, arching our bodies to overcome the bar.... only to bring it down with us with a subtle touch of our athlete's ass or an overstretched foot. After dissecting the event to its basic components in our gaming labs and continuously watching the bloody tutorial of "how to do things in the event" until our eyes bled, this event was conquered by DP and his equally nutcase cousin. Now we are jumping over the bar like there is no tomorrow muhahaha!!! For a moment there I felt so exhilarated, I sensed my madness subsiding (yeah right....like THAT is going to ever happen, LOL)...

400 metre race: As gaming fates dictate it, DP is better in some events and his cousin in others... With time and repeated playing rounds, Personal Best records are shattered and World Records are put to shame. Still this one event is beyond reach... Once, I selected the bloody Japanese dude, he ran representing the DP awesomeness to the fullest and made an amazing time... That was it, regardless how much I sweat, how much my cousin swears, how much I fart to give the guy an extra boost, how much my cousin prays to all beings of higher existence... there is no way to even come close to the record the Japanese guy made under my command that fateful evening... I guess life is full of disappointments... LOL

Athlete Kings in a heartbeat so to speak:) Don't you just love that Japanese commentary?It makes the experience of watching this vid that much more worthwhile, LOL!

110 Metre Hurdles: The trick to this event is to not demolish everything in your passing but to jump above it with grace and some killer "pants ripping" stretches. When it works, the racing is very competitive and does provide a certain degree of gaming satisfaction to complete that event without having swept clean every single obstacle on the course. When it fails though, and you hit the first obstacle, you are royally f...d! Until you recover your sprinting/jumping rhythm, all obstacles have been magically embedded to your belly since you are not jumping over them but passing through them( I guess the notion "when you cant beat them, join them" never rang more true, LOL)... A lot of crazed laughters ensue when that happens, I assure you...:)

Discus Throw: You rotate the control pad, your athlete rotates with it and then you release and the discus goes flying like "a poor man's" UFO. Problem was that this game was originally designed for the Arcades which means there was a stick to rotate in mind, while in the Saturn there is only a level cross shaped D-pad! Have no fear! Due to a combination of DP's ingenuity and a lot of gaming frustration, the solution was delivered by means of a pen that we stick in the middle of the D-pad cross so that it provides some leverage for rotation. Neat eh? Well, if you take out the fact that a lot of pens have fallen heroically by breaking during this "rotating symphony of discus throwing" it has been the greatest invention mankind has ever known apart from my blog of course:)

If there was ever a time in my life when I was acceptably sane, it all came crashing down when attempting to do decently in the Pole Vault event for the gazillionth time!!!

Pole Vault: Ok people, this event is our "Nemesis" of the game so to speak. No matter how many times we have watched the tutorial of "how to do things", no matter how many approaches we have tried to do decently in this event... we have reached an absolutely shameful and frustrating dead end with this. We just don't get it! This is either a design flaw of the developers during the conversion of the game from the Arcade to the Console format or we are so thick as individuals that when we see zebra crossings on the street, we start sniffing the lines instead of crossing them... This event is like a big black void in our gaming experience and more often than not one of us has stopped the other from commiting suicide from frustration because of failing in it... Gaming gods have mercy on us!!!

Javelin Throw: This event is where the DPs are separated from the boys:). Yeah, I so rock in this, if I rocked any harder Jimmy Hendrix would have been erased from the pantheon of rock history in an instant, LOL. The level of my awesomeness in Javelin throw can only be compared to how good looking I am or to how every single psychiatrist in Greece wants to do a PHD on me. Yep, I am that good!!! LOL. Ah, I can just imagine myself throwing the Javelin in the China Olympics in 2008 in full DP outfit and the crowd cheering "You are da man!!! Go DP go!!!"... It would be a moment of madness to transcend sports history for the ages, I am telling you:) Hey, a guy can dream right? LOL

1500 Metre Race: Ok, this event is boring... maintaining your rhythm throughout the cheesy music that plays and some mindless A.I. controlled drones that shove your athlete's ass left and right... This event is all about the shoving... and the awesomeness of blocking someone's path whilst he gives you a push to victory.... What was that? This comment doesn't make any sense you say? Welcome to my world people! LOL

"Fly baby fly for DP!!!" Oops...Did I say that out loud? Oh! My defiance for anything sane and semi - coherent knows no boundaries it seems, LOL!

At the end of all events a total sum of points separates the winners from the "whiners". Both cousins' fingers ache, we chat, we laugh, we tease eachother and we are ready to get off our lazy asses and do something more meaningful and creative with our time.... right after another round of Athlete Kings....LOL!

Look at me Ma!!! I won!!! I just look so awesome in all my leotard wearing, afro parading glory!!!

Till I break the mystery of gaming (and one of the great mysteries of the Universe as a whole) that is "doing decently on Pole Vault and living to brag about it" I will persist with this madness... Both me and my cousin, and probably our future offspring should we perish in our vain attempt to write another glorious page of stupidity in our Athlete Kings' scrapbook:)

Long post this one ladies and gentlemen but I laughed a lot while writing it and I hope you enjoyed the ride as well.

Till next time then...

Some people have way too much free time in their hands... (that is not me playing by the way, lol, cool little bug that one resulting in the rolling racer, heh)

The 50 posts landmark... a taste of things to come...

2007-11-01T11:09:00.000+02:00

Wow! Is this for real? Have I actually reached 50 posts in this blog and nothing of worldwide importance has detonated? Have I made the world a better place one laugh at a time? Did I leave the oven on when I left home this morning? Are orange M and Ms better than yellow ones? Will I genetically test my future offspring to see if they carry the 'wacky gene factor' that defines my futile blogging existence? So many questions, so many answers to type in... so why bother, LOL!

Let's throw a "killer" party and celebrate the 50 posts of his majesty Deadpoolite on this blog, shall we?

As I have noticed during my occassional semi-sane speels, people usually brag about their 100 posts (I have a bit more than that between both blogs greek and english) or 1 year in blogging and set that as a milestone that has been surpassed. HA! What do they know? For me 50 is a nice round number and a good time to take a breather and see what this blogging adventure of sorts has offered me. Besides it is a little known fact in the blogosphere that 50 DP posts count as thousands more in normal posting numbers (Does this sentence even make sense? No? Good... I still got it! LOL). So blogging eh? It is a funny old game with invaluable side effects I am told... is it any good... well...:

- It is great practise for my written english and a great opportunity to unleash all those dormant americanisms I am so fond of (damn you Marvel Comics and American movies.... damn you to hell... NOT! LOL) upon an unsuspecting audience such as you my glorious, heroic, albeit a bit mazochistic readers.

-I can torture people all I want with my long 'semi-sane mumblings' of extreme awesomeness that make readers despair, become sceptical if life is worth living, consider writing their will just to make sure and generally be 'optimistic' about life :)

Who said I don't have any role models in life:) Hail to the King baby!!! LOL.

-I like making people laugh or crack a smile. It just makes me feel good if I write something that I consider funny or amusing and people seem to 'get the joke'. If nothing else this blog has a unique sense of humour in synch with the Deadpool comics' character that it was inspired from, both context wise and aesthetically. It really makes me feel good that I might have brightened someone's day up either by making him/her smile at my jokes or at the realization of the fact that there are worse things out there in life than their current predicaments... namely sir DP and his pitifully peculiar existence:)

-I have met some really interesting and unique people all over the world. For some reason it feels so natutal that I have actually started caring about some of them and want them to be in good health and do well (the rest of them can burn in hell... well actually no... not unless they got the whole thing recorded on DVDR so I can sell it to the highest bidder, lol). I never stop being awestruck by the force that this mean of internet interaction called blogging possesses if used in a constructive manner (as in not in the manner DP abuses it then , LOL). There are some people out there that I am never going to meet up close and personal (lucky them,LOL) and still I have progressively reached a level (my videogaming sensibilities got the best of me, guilty as charged, 'reach a level' I say...sigh...LOL) where I really want to know that they are doing ok with their lives. If anything else, they will never forget Greece because of me(you listen to that Ministry of Tourism, now forward my cheque to the usual address or face my wrath!!! LOL).

-Big and fast changes are happening in my life as we speak so maybe I am not putting as much time in blogging, mainly as in 'writing' posts, as I used to. This is probably because the way I write takes a bit of time so I prefer to write 6 posts 'my way' than 30 posts comprised of 10 lines of text each. It is just the way I am ,LOL!

Anyone knows the way forward for this blog? No ideas then... I don't have a clue either , maybe I should just shut it down... Then again... where is the fun in that? It is the journey that matters after all:) Ok,ok, after zero public demand and heavy pressure from my non- existing fans I will continue blogging relentlessly:)

I want to thank you all for embarking on this fun blogging trip with me, providing me with great company and a huge availability of targets for verbal shooting practise (yeah, I am a sucker for creating ridiculous terminology, such is the life of a humble servant of the wackiness gods, full of ridiculous self imposed goals, lol)

So let's raise our proverbial glasses, drink to -at least- another 50 posts and be done with it.

Places to go, people to see, posts to write...

Saving the world one laugh at a time has never been more fun!

I can just feel the 'love' in the air... run DP, run!!! Those readers of yours are one aggressively persistent lot:)

"Neither hero, nor villain just a jolly good Merc, has a knack for the absurd, join the fun what the heck! You may laugh, you may think, you may actually care but regardless of that write your comments and share."

Be seeing ya!

C.S.I. DP and the mystery of the weird escalator... (Part 3 of 3)

2007-10-26T15:20:00.000+03:00

Having investigated the premises like a true pro (pro at being a "lazy git" that is, LOL) it was finally time to investigate and resolve once and for all the origin and the purpose of this escalator(of course such grandiose statements usually end up with me having my head up my a.... from desperation but that is an issue to be discussed with my insanist so I will skip the gruesome details for now,lol). This escalator was evil no doubt about it.... Not as evil as me attempting to empty my bladder in plain sight but it was a close second... I approached it with caution... The material was no doubt of earth origin and the design was definitely a bit on the 'minimum acceptable standards' side of things but it was created by human hands. "What madness is this?" I shouted, "I haven't seen anything this insane since my.... my.... my..... well my last post on this blog really:)"

Coming Soon to a blog near you... "Reach the church or die trying"

I walked further uphill as other glorious Lamian citizens were going about their business without giving the escalator a second look. "Is this a mass hypnosis effect so that they don't aknowledge the existence of this out of place abomination? OR some of these people read my blog regularly and they have irreversible brain damage so their deductive logic equals that of a sprout?" I wondered in awe. Nevertheless and with these grave questions littering my accursed brain I observed the high end of the escalator. There was a road perpendicular to the upper part of the escalator followed by a set of stairs leading to a church at the top... This greek tragedy of a picture made the cogs of my brain turn in angles that I wasn't aware were physiologically possible and two case scenarios(more like a one case scenario and an "alien invasion malarchy" that will never see the light of day unless the price is right or the readers demand it...LOL) flashed in front of my eyes as to what the escalator was doing in this "too steep for words" street in the first place....

DP productions proudly presents:

AN ESCALATOR MADE BY MEN TO FACILITATE APPROACH TO THE CHURCH TO AGEING BELIEVERS ( A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN SO TO SPEAK)

Let's assume that the escalator was built by humans to aid other humans go up the street and approach the temple of god at the top. Well, this scenario would be almost logical and utterly sane if not for the following:

Assuming that the escalator begins half way up the street and not at the base of it an elder is not particularly helped by it since he has to go up half way the street on foot (come on glorious old war veterans the spirit of "300" demands you give it a go, even if it is a suicide mission, LOL). Maybe the vespa/scooter I saw parked nearby serves that purpose indeed to aid the elders reach the escalator in one piece.

So could this vespa/scooter be a part of " the greater plan" ? Shivers run down my spine just thinking about the huge malarchy at play... LOL

Assuming that one of the unfortunate people to attempt this, doesnt leave his last breath on the asphalt of the street and survives till he reaches the escalator, he will be faced with another riddle. "How to turn the escalator on, since it is permanenty off!" and I don't know a single person who has seen it working apart from daydreaming mumbling fools and dreamy M and Ms eating lunatics...(hey dont look at me... so ok I got a life membership in both of the above clubs...who doesn't... it is perfectly legal after all...lol). Anyway for the sake of argument let's say that either by a stroke of luck (or lightning) someone manages to make the escalator work and he uses it to go up grinning like he won the lottery without even playing (ok, this was insane but the best is yet to come so do not despair just yet, save it for the end... lol). As he would reach the top he would have to cross the street.No biggie really since it is a narrow street and for once not an uphill one! The gods of greek street making have been merciful to the unlucky ageing passerby that would like to reach the church above... it is a miracle I am telling you, LOL.

That doesn't look that bad some elders may actually make it to the church after all...

So after crossing the plain, old fashioned,perfectly even, gloriously unsmoothy specimen of greek asphalt laying on the ground and reach the stairs then what? An ageing geezer would have suffered at least a couple of strokes minimum and a heart attack as an opener just reaching the base of the stairs. Still, there is no end to some people's faith (or stupidity) so I guess at least one heroic senile citizen of Lamia would reach that landmark. All that separates "the faithful from their faith" is a bunch of uphill stairs, not exactly a handful of stairs a bit more than that.

...and then reality kicks in... let's face it, they are dead! :)

Hypothetically speaking an old man with advanced military training (even if that was during his long gone youth...) and the willingless to lose a couple of limbs in the process or have some vital organs abandoning all will to continue functioning could do it(or at least get the medal of "the open palm" for trying...For non-greeks... there will be an explanation of what this means in a future post...greeks know what I mean,LOL). So whoever reaches the church would be blessed and happy and giggly and content that he still "got what it takes" to survive this ordeal and reach the church. Then, he would look down and the realisation would hit him hard like a ton of bricks : "Bummer, I have to go all the way down as well..."

A sign of "intelligent" life maybe...? Let's give it a shot: "Take me to your leader!!!". Sigh... no response... LOL!!!

After the above autopsy of the premises and this insane theory on what the criteria to build this "travesty of an escalator" were, I cracked a smile thinking of my readers either laughing or crying from desperation(mission accomplished...heh).Then, I went on my merry way to create another 'blogging madness' scenario for the next post. Never a dull moment with this DP character it seems...

Another death defying stunt by an anonymous biker... will he make it down the street in one piece? Being the supreme humanitarian that I am (LOL), I got the local hospital's number on speed dial just in case:)

Take care and I hope this was an OK read for the ones among you that are still among the living, after reaching the bitterly insane end:) Yeah, I am a gentleman like that... I care ... for my blog's stats:)

Till next time friends!

Letting the heart do the talking...

2007-10-20T15:00:00.001+03:00

You know I don't normally bare my soul in this blog since the greek blog serves this purpose better. This doesn't mean that I don't like or want to share things with the people over here, quite the contrary actually, but I created "Deadpool's Laughing Den" to satisfy a different need so to speak. The need to be outgoing, witty, pushing the enveloppe with over the top humour and make people smile. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but the intentions are there to see in plain sight. Either way I am having great fun with this blog since it has its own unique style and all!

Ideally life would be something like this... (god this pic is SO cheesy... the only reason I used it was because I really couldn't fit it anywhere else, LOL)

However, at this particular moment I do want to share something with you folks. I don't know maybe it is because at the moment sharing this with anyone else would leave a sour taste in the mouth. A taste of half words and half truths, leaving a non-liberating residue behind. So what is the big "Deadpoolitian revelation" you are probably asking yourselves as I am typing this in. Oh well, time to get the proverbial rabbit out of the hat... For approximately a month now, I have been experiencing something unique on a personal level. Something that has overwhelmed me in every way possible and to be honest something that I wasn't ready for . Okay, okay it involves a woman , duh!

Need I say more... a woman... I am doomed beyond redemption aren't I? LOL!!!

You know all of those overhyped rom coms where things that don't make sense happen but still romantic fools like ourselves grin at them because deep inside we hope that life worked out like that for everyone. Well what is currently going on kind of puts the cheesiest rom coms to shame to be honest:) I have been in love before but this is the first time I caught myself suffering even at an organic level. It is like I am doing things in my life on auto pilot while this aura of someone haunts my dreams be it in my sleep or in my waking moments. I can't believe that I am so awestruck with someone that I know for like a month or so but it is true to an extent that I wasn't prepared for.

"Problem" is, she totally feels the same way which is kind of too much happiness and too much burden to have at this point in my life.What makes things more peculiar and somewhat amusing, albeit in a twisted way, is that she is the last person I expected to be attracted to from a visual standpoint of view not because she is ugly (she is cute no doubt about it) but because she is not the type of woman I have been associated with in the past, in more ways than one. Same goes for her and how she perceives me and I know so because we have talked about every fricking aspect of this "relationship in the making" more than UN negotiators do about the Middle East problem:). What is truely amazing is how we both aknowledge the inherent difficulties and obstacles blocking our way, we both realize the absurdity of how fast things took the turn from friendly chat to all out love and still we remain hopeful about the whole thing. I don't know this whole level of absolute understanding between a man and a woman is too much sometimes, truth be told I never thought I would live anything remotely close to it...

The future will have a lot of this I am sure but not too much...

There is a shitload of obstacles at the moment predominantly with my career and its future as well as with distance, which will be an issue in a year's time or so, if we are still together. Despite the current and future adversities of making this relationship work, there is this one aspect of it that never ceases to amaze me. Every single time I think something is totally screwed up, she always says the right thing and she shows an amazing willingless to adapt to the situation. I think it is too early to say anything finite but if I wasn't trapped in a hiatus of enforced choices that has me a 'hostage of sorts' for the next year or so, I could honestly say that I found the woman of my life. Chances are that we won't last that long because of circumstances beyond our control but I am going to give it my best shot.

The hardest thing to do is to put all of this into some sort of logical perspective especially when you see the other side be ready to turn her life upside down for your sake! I mean when someone is willing to give so much how on earth do you refuse. I think a time will come in upcoming months when I will have to make an important choice about my future and my willingless to make 'my' future , 'our' future. It isn't a fear of commitment, I never had that as a person, it is a matter of shielding myself so I won't get seriously hurt in the process if things don't work out. Plus there are other priorities as well and dreams to follow that I am not ready to adapt or compromise just yet. It is called 'learning from past mistakes' I am told...

But at the end of the day this is all that matters... I hope I am lucky(?, LOL) enough to reach this point with her...

For what it is worth I want to say "Vivi I love you and thank you for coming to my life!" just to get it out of my system...

I already feel better just by sharing this...

P.S.: Οh you are soooooo going to kill me off with your witty remarks and sarcastic comments I just know it, LOL. Oh well, bring on the "pain" I can take it:)

Christos

DP's Laughing Den is officially a dangerously wacky place to hang out at...

2007-10-16T14:02:00.000+03:00

I did not intend to write anything this week since I am busy in Athens and I need some time off blogging anyway. Still, there is no escape from the monster that is 'commenting' on affiliated blogs. In that vein, I visited the blogging uber awesomeness that is Mrs Mandypoo's blog and I saw this link that provides supposed blog ratings based on 'appropriate' or 'inappropriate' key words scattered inside someone's blog entries (how exciting... yawn...lol). If memory serves I had used something similar before several months ago and I was deemed to be a mere NC-17 blog whatever the f...k that means:) Still, I gave it another go and I got the crown jewel of all ratings the R-rating. When I saw the rating verdict flash on my PC screen (actually my cousins' PC screen but who cares...) I laughed like a madman on crack I have to say. I mean ok this blog oozes from a wacky sense of humour but "Come on... an R-rating" , I am not molesting anything I am not supposed to here in this blog corner, at least I am only doing it verbally unlike some other people, LOL.

So then I had a good look at the layout and overall appearence of the blog to see if it gives away the 'wrong' message so to speak. Actually I didn't because severe constipation kinda of blurred my vision but the intention was there, LOL. So let's kickoff this pointless post of shameless blog promotion on the right foot and have a look at my header.

Ah the glorious Deadpoolite inspired and TCRA designed and refined header. What is not to like in this politically incorrect and provoking artistic masterpiece(I am so full of it...lol). The little DP cheekily peeking behind the folding header, the dynamite ready to explode, the little welcoming poem underneath or the killer moto next to the dynamite. And don't get me started on "the Merc with a mouth!" (also known as "if I ever read an R-rated phrase in my life this is it" type of header title, LOL) madness... I mean this header is so provocative on so many levels I can't believe they haven't re-written the blog rating scales just because of it (ok, I am genuinely laughing now ladies and gentlement, ah, the absurdity of it all, the madness, sweet madness, hmmm... a tad sour at the very end... but genuinely sweet nonetheless, lol).

"Does my butt look fat in this?"... Dammit... that was another improper remark on my behalf... This remark was so "R-rated" that it makes my previous "R-rated" comments blush, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!!!

Then we move on lower ( no this isnt a description of a porn vid, this is essentially some intentional blog stripping...) ... My eyes fall on the sidebar... it is so "R-rated" it defies belief... I mean "oh my gosh!" what do we have here in random order of no consequence whatsoever:

1) a profile with a cheeky intro text and a butchering avatar,
2) a set of archives that have the same effect on people like the VHS tapes on "The Ring" movies,
3)a pointless picture of a trenchcoat wearing DP just blogging through,
4)a known blogging accomplices list as dangerous(not to mention booby trapped) as the man himself,
5)an aquatic blue chatbox with subliminal messages like "eat M and M's till you burst" hiding behind the seemingly innocuous exterior design
6)a counter of reading souls that have been forever trapped in this neverending loop of blogging madness that is "Deadpool's Laughing Den",
7)a list of blog entries labels with names so insane... only an "R-rated" wacky fool like DP could have ever come up with

Dammit, this place is truely evil! I have to split, I have to make a run for it, I have to survive... from laughter... till the next blog entry, LOL!

Essentially, I made this post because it seems ridiculous that a blog like mine that has most curse words mostly implied and cut (simply because I don't want them to be the main source of humour in this blog and not because I have some mislead false sense of political and verbal correctness, lol) is R-rated. Unless "R" stands for "Rioting humouristic lunatic on premises" in which case I am more than happy to oblige. Yep, I am R-rated to the bone ladies and gentlemen, so I expect you to be reading this blog in the presence of your parents or by e-mailing me some sort of note from your legal guardians saying that you are allowed to read even if it means that your mental health as you know it is over, LOL!

Take care and come next weekend I will be finishing "the escalator thing".

Till next time then...

C.S.I. DP and the mystery of the weird escalator... (Part 2 of 3)

2007-10-08T08:17:00.000+03:00

St Nickolas street, what lies beneath this divine name I wonder?

I finally arrived at "the scene of this crime against aesthetics and waste of money for no apparent reason" (what a mouthful,lol). I scouted the area with my investigating eyes (you see writing "sleepy eyes" instead doesnt sound cool,lol). There a were a few cars parked opposite the escalator standing there like silent mechanical guards of doom(someone in this blog watched the "Transformers" movie one time too many it seems, LOL). St Nickolas street is an uphill one with a bit of a steep slope that leads , after bypassing a flat of stairs as well, to the eponymous church of St Nickolas.

Exhibit number 1, a picture from the base of the street or a living nightmare for any "unfit" person(dont look at DP he is a special insanity op,lol, too mentally fit for words to grasp) .Dammit, a street going uphill!!! Pedestrian gods have mercy:)

There was no pedestrian in sight, thus I approached with caution doing the chicken dance in the process(I know you are left wondering if I actually did it, I'll let you sleep on it, LOL) since it was a chance to publicly display a level of baffoonism previously unheard for an adult person with no apparent legal consequence ( I live for those moments of extreme madness you see, they turn my world around so to speak,lol). As I approached the mysterious escalator, the cogs of my deductive logic kicked in started taking in all the evidence on display: An escalator, a street going uphill, some potentially transforming cars, a church standing tall further ahead... With the above sane and insane pieces of the puzzle dancing merrily in my head I reached the base of the structure itself.

You know if we put a couple of ancient columns next to it maybe just maybe this abomination of a structure could be taken for some token of ancient greek wisdom and craftmanship by naive tourists that would believe anything:). Then again maybe not...:)

As I was observing the fine artistry and ridiculously generic design (now that is how a proper contradictory statement sounds like if I ever heard one,lol) of this escalator I noticed some peculiar pink tablet shaped structures at the bottom of it. What could those be? Force field boundaries so that noone could deviate from reaching the escalator itself? Step trails of the makers of this escalator who could be of alien origin? The mutating remains of some stick chewing gums that evolved to the next level of gum evolution affected by global warming and an excess of public littering? Was it just my mind playing tricks on me after one dose of M and M's too many? All validly insane questions with no appropriately wacky answers....

Sidetracking ants or flying bugs during nightime was not a concern anymore... the glowing pink pellets of doom would guide them to the escalator with safety...ah every little detail accounted for in this fine construction:)

As I osberved the side part of the escalator my blood froze in the viewing of the words "Soris Trunks Fern" signed by a being called "FJS". My blood did not freeze because of the writings but because I remembered I left the oven on back at my appartment so there was a good chance I was already owner of an incineratingly cool appartment and I just didnt know it just yet,lol. Still, there were more important things concerning me than some pesky shelter insecurities. I ran the initials FJS by my brain but it did not reply... I knocked harder at the outer portion of my skull and the old bugger finally went on-line once more. So FJS eh? "Furious Jade Son of a bit...." was an obvious choice, as was "Fat Junkyard Sister" and "Free Junk Sale" before it. "Fast Jello Shouting" sounded more nuts than the rest so I rolled with it:)

"Soris Trunks Fern" by FJS... Obviously some people have way too much free time in their hands... hey dont look at me that way:)

I walked further uphill to get a better perspective of the weird escalator that was plaguing the streets of my hometown. I tried to locate a handle, a switch something to activate it without causing a state of emergency in town or some sort of nuclear fusion but nothing. The escalator seemed to have never been used not by a material being anyway and just stood there silent. Since there are some laws preventing it in Greece , I just couldnt grab the first pedestrian in sight and beat the truth out of him as violently as possible (STUPID LEGISLATION!!!) so I had to use more of my insanity fuelled deductive logic (ooookkkk, my brain is on fire, no more thinking please...). From the top I noticed that the space between the escalator and the parked cars at the other side of the road was quite narrow so obviously only stuntmen drivers could drive down the street without scraping all the scenery out of existence. So maybe this street wasnt a hazard against safe driving but a stuntman training ground... hmmm... as good as any theory I would come up with , in part 3:) Yep, it is time to go and I know I am pushing the boundaries of human endurance and patience by writing a third and final post about this but who cares, it is all good mindless fun, just what the doctor ordered then:)

Better leave your SUV at home ladies and gentlemen... narrow "to the point of suicidal" gap in the premises:)

When I think this street cant look any shittier a new picture comes and sets a new unpreceded standard of crapiness... this is a view from the top but not the VERY top , tune in to Part 3 for the finale of this DP obsession fuelled blogging opus of sorts:)

To be continued (and concluded) in Part 3!

Till then reset your sanity meter, have a brain check up to see if the old lug is still alive and kicking and stay tuned for the conspiracy theories extravaganza that I will unleash upon you in part 3, LOL!

P.S.: For the people among you that havent read Part 1, reading this part alone is kind of pointless really... So, take a sip of your coffee, take a deep breath and arm yourselves with courage... You have to read Part 1! So be a good blog reader and take the challenge like a man/woman!

Take care people!