When action meets soap opera with cataclysmic results...

You know I really wanted to go serious on you if only for one post, if only temporarily. It is called personal credibility I am told. You know be really deep, express your inner emotions, write about your frustrations and exorcise the evil within (god, I need to lay down on the Evil Dead trilogy viewings, lol). I was determined but unfortunately the blogoverse had different plans for me. Let me elaborate. After the evening meal, I switched on the "little funny box" called TV just to zap past channels with meaningless programs. A moment before I switch off the tv, I tuned on a channel that was showing probably "Bold and the beautiful" (that is a US soap opera for the ones fortunate enough not to litter their brain cells with such useless knowledge,oopps too late now, lol). As I was ready to log off and go on with my life, I saw an actor on-screen which, let's just say, I didnt expect to see on a soap opera. Lorenzo fricking Lamas!

"Lorenzo Lamas in his action glory days
kicking asses left and right"

"Lorenzo Lamas, the puppy eyed version,
going all soap opera versatile on our asses"

What next...?

"Shakespeare? Have mercy..."

You may wonder who the fuck is Lorenzo Lamas. This guy is one of those unsung all american action heroes. You know the type, semi or all muscular dealing justice to the crooked on TV or DVD. Him on a soap opera! The TV-verse works in mysterious ways, I am telling you.

It was like epiphany, my seriously damaged brain was suddenly filled with images of greatness from such action b-movie legends like Chuck "the ultimate roundhouse kick" Norris, Steven "the pony tail of doom" Seagal, Jean Claude "the belgian oak" Van damme and Dolph "I got my ass kicked in Rocky 4" Ludgren. These are the true american heroes not like the overrated stallones and swartzenegers (I am bound to spell his name wrong it is inevitable,lol) of this world. These people keep making movies despite having zero acting talent so it makes you re-evaluate if the US was indeed the land of opportunity once upon a time. You know what a real fan boy's dream would be , just to pit all those suckers in the same movie kicking eachothers asses. That would be a sight to behold and the ultimate collector's DVD. Just dont put too many lines on the script and you are looking at a masterpiece. If only those hollywood big shot producers took their heads out of their asses and took notice.

"What is the essence of life? Getting shot by me!"

"I want to flex my acting muscles
like my real ones. Get me a soap
opera role, please..."

"You know movies like this made
me think getting my ass kicked in
Rocky 4 was a blessing..."

Blame the madness I unleashed in this blog entry on a single viewing of Lorenzo Lamas being all emotional and romantic in a soap opera. Let me tell you, I half expected him to start sending punches right and left just for old times sake you know, but he was a gentleman and didnt fakely punch anyone. Maybe in the next episode...

P.s. 1 : Useless info coming up! Lorenzo Lamas played in ALL the episodes of Falcon Crest another soap opera back in the days of the dinosaurs...

P.s.2 : Never have I mentioned the world "ass" so many times without referring to women once!
That is me Deadpoolite "the ultimate version" then, a bonafide gentleman,lol!

P.s.3: Ok, I'll try to get serious on my next post. Seriously...oh come on now dont laugh...not too hard anyway, lol!

Catch you later!

Music to my ears, causing you all tears?

Last Sunday while I was messing around with my blog, it seemed kind of cool to add some music tune playing when someone is unfortunate enough to enter. I kind of considered it a welcoming sign to the reader I suppose. Since only one tune plays and that can easily be paused by pressing the button on the player I thought that even the people that wouldnt find the tune to their fancy would just pause the damn thing before the evilness of the music makes their pc's explode,lol. Since this is a relatively new blog, I am still experimenting on things and see what works and what doesnt, you see.

However, the reaction to this addition was mixed to say the least with people telling me to either throw the music into "trash bin oblivion" , keep it but change the tune frequently or to change the style of music being played since it is not to their taste. Now I am a simple Deadpoolite trying to make some blogging in the world but it is hard to please everyone. My priority for this blog is the text of course and to make people enjoy the few minutes that they spend here regardless if they are regular readers or people that came here by accident. So being Greek and having democracy running through my veins (one cannot get too cocky about his heritage I assure you,lol) I thought "The hell with it, let's vote".

In that respect I would appreciate your input on the matter by voting on the mini-poll to your right.

p.s. If your opinion coincides with "Kind of. As long as it is not distracting..." you might as well add a little something on the "comments" of this post and propose what type of music would be acceptable for you.

Thanks for the insights!

Marvel Comics movies, friend or foe?

I decided to write this little piece about the ongoing pehnomenon of the last 5 years or so. I am talking about the behemoth of movie creation that is called "the Marvel Comics movie".
You know the drill, get a comic book character dress him in a fancy hollywood suit and present him with a ribbon to the movie audiences that otherwise wouldnt give a toss about him/her. In an era where Hollywood is dying for inspiration (or at least that is what executives say) the pages of comic books have become the new screenplays. So how do those movies fare I wonder, let's see some pros and cons :




Stan Lee (old guy,creator of spiderman) : "Move out of the way Spiderman here comes Stan "the man" Lee"
Spiderman : "You know Stan, technically this written piece is dedicated to me".
Stan Lee : "Shut up Spidey! All I need is a rubber to erase you out of existence!"
Spiderman : "Ok Stan...Whatever you say...You are da man! (senile old fool...)"


Spiderman:Oh, good old Peter Parker. Still fighting the good fight for a bunch of New Yorkers that hates and loathes him. How has the silver screen treated him I wonder...

The good : The costume has remained unchanged from the classic comic book look, he is always the average joe fighting the good fight. MJ is always there to love him and hug him and and... despite him being an absolute dork. Still you cant fight it, you root for the guy he is so similar to you anyway (well if you take out the fact that he sticks to walls and shoots webs out of his ass, sorry hands, that is, lol)

The bad : For some reason, he constantly loses his mask all the time(in 3 movies now he always lost it or got it torn apart at some point, kind of stupid really). I mean by now half of New York knows who Spiderman is so why bother with the secret identity thing. MJ is getting progressively whinier with each new installment and she is a constant source of trouble. 3 movies havε passed, 3 times she was abducted, 3 times she needed saving, it's all getting a bit tedious. And a note to Sam Raimi, I like the 3rd movie but it should have really been Spiderman vs Venom all the way. Why couldnt you see that...

...and the ugly: Well we reached the third movie. It is time to lose some heat and let the franchise catch its breath. Unfortunately, this wont be happening because Spidey makes ridiculous money at the box office so there will be a Spiderman 4 movie sooner than necessary.



Daredevil : "Strange my radar sense doesnt pick up a movie sequel in the horizon.It must be something I ate..."

Daredevil : He is not one of the more mainstream properties marvel comics has but he is considered one of the coolest characters by Marvel Comics fans. Eventually, he got his own movie....

The good: Daredevil, daredevil in dark alleys and daredevil being the coolest blind person alive ( I always liked that aspect of the character since it sends a strong message about "people with disabilities really being people with special abilities". Bullseye is so over the top, it is fun. And Jennifer Garner, yammy..!

The bad: The editing was too quick, the movie was (literally) too dark and there was just something wrong about Ben Affleck grinning like a fool all the time. "You know Ben this wasnt an Axe commercial it was an actual M-O-V-I-E !". The final fight with Kingpin was a joke and probably the shortest fight in the history of good guy/bad guy fights.

...and the ugly : I dont see another movie happening soon since box office dictates otherwise. It is sad since Daredevil is one of the most "human" characters that Marvel Comics has created and I would have liked them to give it another shot...



Hulk : "Hulk wants sequel. Hulk's next movie will smash the box office....Puny humans"

The Hulk : The green goliath. The unstoppable destruction machine. The dumbest superhero? ever made. Eventually he got his own movie but how was it...

The good : Ang Lee (the director) tried something really ambitious and very intelligent. He attempted to make a proper movie about a fictional character. It was humane, it was smart, it had the best editing I've ever seen. Eric Bana was ace as Bruce Banner and Jennifer Connely's eyes were there to lure us, males, once again. To this day I watch this movie and I cant decide if it is a failed experiment or the work of a genius (I am leaning more towards the latter myself).

The bad : This movie was too intelligent for the average audience and too DAMN intelligent for the popcorn generation of movie goers. Most people wanted to see Hulk smashing shit for 2 hours and couldnt care less about anything else. Nick Nolte was also so nuts in this movie. I mean he was so out of there that I think he could easily take Hulk on and beat him with his little finger,lol.

...and the ugly: The movie tanked commercially, so there wont be a direct sequel to this. I guess I am just disappointed that there isnt a corner in the movie market for an intelligent blockbuster (The Hulk is as close as it has come in my opinion). This isnt necessarily a bad thing since the new Hulk movie has Ed Norton and Liv Tyler in it and focuses on a more traditional style of Hulk story , Bruce Banner on the run. Still, I would have liked to see the original cast reprising their roles...



Blade : "Man, I tell you I am blessed.I am black, I wear dark shades and I feature in this really dark photo. Noone can see me blush with shame for the utter mess that Blade : Trinity was..."

Blade: A really C-list character of Marvel Comics showed the way for comic book movies. You better believe it...

The good : Wesley Snipes is Blade. Never has an actor identified so much with a lead character in this type of movie. It is uncanny I am telling you. The 2 first movies were dark enough to be gritty, fun enough to be good action movies, cool enough to justify repeated viewings. And then...

The bad: ...came the 3rd movie. Except from the uber sexy Jessica Biel (Jessica Biel as in the woman not as in the actress if you catch my drift,lol), this movie was shit. Vampire poodles anyone... Nuff said. This was crap and not even its kickass soundtrack could save it. Wesley Snipes was bored, if not asleep through out, the Dracula was a boy band reject and Kevin Reynolds was just annoying...

...and the ugly: The 3rd movie was directed from the guy who wrote the two previous movies and Batman begins, David Goyer. It is still a mystery to this day how did the guy who essentially expertly "created" the Blade character for the silver screen misfired so badly in the only movie he had total control of. Oh well, anyone is untitled to a bad day at the office I guess,lol.



Electra : "I am sexy and I am Greek. I made a movie once in Hollywood, still trying to forget that one."


Electra : The first superhero of greek origin on celluloid (hooray!). Jennifer Garner in the lead role (double hooray and a backflip for that one). So was it any good?

The Good: Jennifer Garner and... Jennifer Garner (the woman Jennifer Garner). Hey wait a minute I already said that. Well there is nothing else to it really,lol. Some originally conceived bad guys with visually cool powers.

The Bad: The kid ninja or whatever that girl was....I cant really blame Jennifer Garner for this utter crap, I dont think even Meryl Stryp could have saved this movie from disaster (although to be honest I am pretty sure by this point Meryl Stryp can save ANY movie from disaster, she is the ultimate female super-actress after all). The special effects were crap, Jennifer Garner was like a zombie throughout( I almost expected her to grin like her husband Ben Affleck but she preferred the sleep walking approach,lol). The story was bad, the bad guys were bad (ok that actually sounds like a copliment but trust me... it isnt,lol). Essentially what could go wrong went wrong...

...and the ugly : Well not Jennifer Garner for sure,lol. This whole movie is ugly, ugly as sin I might add.



Ghost Rider : " I heard global warming would set us all on fire eventually but this is ridiculous!"


Ghost Rider : Although never an A-list character in the Marvel Universe, he is probably by far the coolest looking character. I mean a guy with a flaming skull riding a bike, spreading justice to the wicked. It doesnt get much cooler than that...

The good : First things first, I like Eva Mendes a lot (you got to love those curves man,lol). Now that this is out of the way let's talk about the movie. Nicolas Cage was an odd choice (too old for the role) but due to some sort of miracle he actually pulled it off (to the best of his ability) not being his usual nutty over the top self. Eva Mendes would look gorgeous even if she wore a potato sack and the Ghost Rider special effects are unbelievably cool. Still...

The bad: I think Cage was miscast.He does the best he can but the role just doesnt suit him. Eva Mendes doesnt have anything to do in the movie ( and no skimpy outfits for her how criminal is that...lol). The bad guys make the ones in the Electra movie look good and that says a lot. Never have I seen such short,boring, uneventful good guy/bad guy fights. The movie is overall very slowly paced, so I guess insomniacs will love it.

...and the ugly : What could have been a top looking movie of manic action ended up an utterly boring affair. A good premise wasted by a director with limited vision. Ok, it was only a popcorn movie but it could have been a way cooler poprcorn movie (you know with extra sizzling butter and all,lol)



Wolverine : "Hey guys does my butt look fat in this outfit?"
Other X-men: "Yep"
Wolverine : " I knew I spend too much time seating on my ass blogging about nonsense..."
Other X-men: "You are not alone there..."

X-men : The best comic book allegory (dont worry folks I am not getting all philosophical on you using "literate" words, so put your holly water and crosses away for the time being,lol) for social racism and the burden of someone being "different" from the rest. The premise was there but what about the movies...

The good: The first movie did a lot with a minimal budget and put the comic book movie on the map with mainstream movie goers. Suddenly, it was ok to "like" a comic book movie and you werent regarded as some sort of weird geek if you talked about how badass Wolverine was (let's face it he is badass, not as badass as Deadpool of course,lol). The second movie was phenomenally good in all respects, essentially bigger and better and regarded by a lot of people as the best comic book movie ever. Then came the beast of the third movie(cool special effects)...

The bad: The third movie is kind of hard to judge. The change of direction from Brian Singer to Brett Ratner is like going from being a Transformers fan to being a Smurfs hardcore fan. Still the mainstream audience loved it because it was accessible and fast with lots of action and no "real" dialogue between the characters. People that had more expectations of it hated it with passion though. I mean lead characters die left and right with no emotional impact to anyone, the dialogue is more cheesy than acceptable and Wolverine behaves like some twisted castrated version of him. He just isnt him and that ladies and gentlement is unacceptable by the equally nuts Deadpoolite,lol.

...and the ugly: Where does the franchise go after this. There are so many characters left to show on the silver screen so the potential is there. The thing is if the movie producers are going to go with the flow of the third movie then there is a chance of alienating the comic book fans who are the heart and blood of this franchise(and all franchises to be honest). Can such a risk be taken..? (who cares...I just wanted to write something that sounded really dark and ominous,lol)



Deadpool : " I wonder if I am a bit UNDERarmed for the Deadpool movie premiere ...They'd better give me an Oscar as well, I dont carry all these guns just for show you know..."

Lastly there is the DEADPOOL movie (not really but there are some rumours that it is going to be made and I cant wait for it...probably the only person that is going to watch it as well,lol)

I think I havent forgotten any other movie based on Marvel Comics creations so lets call it a day and go eat a sandwich or something. Hey, Deadpoolite needs to eat and get the energy to drive the world insane. It is a dirty job but someone has to do it,lol.


Take care all!

p.s. "Merc" is short for "Mercenary" as in "soldier for hire" for the uninitiated among you.

Always outnumbered never outgunned!

Hello folks. Deadpoolite reporting. It has been a long time since I posted anything on this blog and it was inevitable that I would eventually get the itch. Oh, you know what I am talking about, the itch to start blogging again. Between you and me I dont know if that is good or bad,lol. Still, here I am mumbling like the proverbial nut that I am. No harm done. This world has stopped making sense a long time ago so I might as well go with the flow,lol.

I have been busy for the past weeks making sense of the adventure called life. You know job hunting, chick stalking (it is actually called "getting a date" in some countries can you believe it? lol), target sniping (ok maybe not the latter but I am getting there,lol) so this blog has been left untouched (in the most innocent way possible I assure you) for quite a while now. Well I plan to change that for what it's worth I am going to try anyway. Hey, no contracts signed, no strings attached just the good old deadpoolite charm (or insanity depending on someone's perspective...) being put to good use.

You know I havent chosen the name of the blog or anything about it lightly. I mean if I wanted to make it more accessible for the reader I could have gone with a bigger brand name like "Spiderman world web" or "Jack sparrow reporting from the black pearl" or some shit like that. Well, it aint going to happen, Deadpool is the way to go and I am going to spread the word (at least until he gets his own movie you know,lol).

So attach your seatbelts, check your brains out on the entrance and come have fun.

Deadpoolite out!

Console wars - how stupid can one be?

Let's get this out of the way first. I like my video gaming. I am predominantly a console gamer because I think their games are more fun than the few game formulas that PC games repeatedly offer.

Now that my personal madness is out of the way, I just want to unleash my verbal hell on all of those jackasses that dispute on the net which console is better. I swear sometimes in this world I think that a lot of people carry the collective brain of a goldfish at best. You see people in fora argue all the time which console is best, they talk about system specifications and they argue with passion like their life depends on it. It is just silly really. I mean what is the fucking point, it is not like us, the average gamers, are making any actual profit from the machines sold. We are not Microsoft, Sony or Nintendo stockholders to be that dogmatic about "what is best" and "what rules and will sweep the competition away". To some extent this stupid gamers' conflict resembles the eternal argument among men "if size does matter". Well lets face it people, regardless of size we all want to have sex and do it, so does it really matter at the end,lol? With this blog entry I 'll try to highlight the strong and weak points of each "next gen" console without tiring with useless technicalities. On with the show then. I 'll present the consoles in the order they have been commercially released.

Ok, lights on! Here comes the Xbox360. According to the company, it is the ultimate console yadda yadda , it is going to smoke the competition and for fucks sake it is a Microsoft product how bad can it be.

Let's see the reality behind the hype with some pros and cons. Not an exhaustive list just some brief comments so dont kill yourselves with despair just yet:

Pros: Xbox360 was the first next gen console to be released almost a year and a half ago, if memory serves. This means that game developers had more time to get to grips with the hardware and what it can do. The first quality titles are either out (e.g Gears of War) or down the pipeline (e.g. Alan Wake, Bioshock, Halo 3). Microsoft is more experienced now with the console market after the "hit and miss" behemoth that was the original Xbox. Hardware wise the machine is leaps and bounds over the Xbox, supports HD display and doesnt look half bad compared to the bulky Xbox. Plus Xbox Live is by far the best on-line console service around. In addition one by one the cool PS3 exclusives will be appearing on this console as well so that is always a plus from a commercial point of view. So this console has all the rings and bells of a next gen console. Surely it is a must buy then.... well let's see the cons first.

Cons : So far apart from Gears of War no other game justifies the purchase of this console(we are talking about value for money here). The regular gamer doesnt own an HD TV at the moment so what is the point of buying a console that you ll take full advantage of only if you own such a TV (they are not exactly cheap are they now...). Console on-line gaming is not yet as popular or intuitive as on-line PC gaming and that is that,like it or not. Microsoft still has a lot to learn about the console market. Just take a look at Japan for example. Xbox360 doesnt sell well there because at Xbox360 headquarters(probably stationed at one of Bill Gates' bathrooms or something,lol) they dont get the mentality of that native market. For some people Xbox360 is the means to transfer PC games to the console market but the average console gamer thinks PC games are tolerable at best. I mean after the millionth RTS (Real Time Strategy) and FPS(First Person Shooter) you eventually want something more. Plus there is no substitute for the mouse and keyboard combo for such titles. So there you go, not all is rosy in planet Xbox360.




On to the next contender...

The Nintendo Wii!!! Ok, after you are done with the belly laughs due to this genuinely hilarious name let's see what this bugger has to offer :



Pros: You swing the remote and it copies your movement on screen. Come on people how cool is that! The potential of this control method is enormous if nothing else to attract the non-hardcore gaming audiences that have been alienated by today's gamepads with tens of buttons and button combinations. The actual console looks really nice as well doesnt occupy a shit load of space. The Nintendo franchises are all in place and ready to attract gamers to the Wii world. Another cool feature is the ability to stay on-line 24 hours/day even when the console is off, with updates and stuff being added to your console and games. The virtual console web interface will also give access to the Wii owner to play classic Nintendo and Sega games by downloading them for a minimal fee. But let's face it, this console is all about the innovative control of the games and pure fun. Plus the price is really good compared to the overpriced pieces of hardware that other companies sell. Lastly, the games for Wii have the lowest developing costs of all the trio of consoles so that is always good for game companies to hear (in spite of this fact they will be a bit cheaper retail wise as well).Is that enough though?

Cons: The console is seriously underpowered as far as hardware is concerned. Essentially it is a Gamecube on steroids which doesnt really say much in this era. By warming up to the "casual gamer" Nintendo seems to alienate the "hardcore gamer". Hardcore gamers are the ones that spend a lot on games though, so that market should not be excluded from this console. As with all consoles the games will be the "make or break" of this one. Nintendo will offer at some point the usual franchises Mario, Zelda , Metroid which are all top notch and all but there is only so much Mario you can take. At the moment the console has a distinct lack of "must buy" software and when the latest Zelda (essentially a Gamecube game forwarded to the Wii format) is your best purchase, the gamer seriously questions the necessity of investing on the Wii. On-line gaming is questionable or even non-existent at this point on the console so that may be also a deciding point for some gamers. Above all though, the Wii's greatest innovation maybe it's greatest downfall as well. A new way of controlling games means external game developers need to think "outside the box" and devise new ways of controlling games without making them too easy or too hard. Only time will tell if they are up for the challenge or if they are willing to be bothered...




Wii is done and dusted so lets move on to "the monster of monsters" the Playstation 3. Apart from the strong brand name is there actually anything else to this I wonder...


Pros: It is the most powerful machine of the three hardware wise and the untapped potential of this "monster of a console " is huge. Theoreticaly this seems to indicate that in a couple of years time the available software on the machine will be really something at least as far as graphics are concerned. The PS3 on-line service is seriously improved compared to the atrocity of the PS2 on-line interface. The PS3 is home to a lot of beloved franchises like Resident Evil, Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Solid which will surely spawn quality sequels sometime along the way. It has a huge brand name which made gaming a favourite past time of many rather than the hobby a few fanatic nuts. Essentially it is the continuation of two very successful consoles and the company knows how to make good games and decent hardware. Guaranteed to have a monster catalogue of games like all playstations before it.

Cons: It is too damn expensive....Let me rephrase that, it is ridiculously expensive and a lot of gamers dont give a toss what it has to offer as long as THAT retail price remains. Sony made a grave mistake to take its consumers for granted thinking that they would flock into shops and buy whatever has the playstation logo on it regardless of price. That was a serious mistake... A lot of the so called PS3 exclusives(including major franchises) will be appearing on the "cheaper but not yet cheap enough" Xbox360. So why buy the more expensive console for those games if you can play them on a cheaper one. I just dont see the point. Another stupid thing is the lack of a vibration feature on the controller. This damn feature has been a mainstream feature of controllers in the past decade or so and it seriously adds to the immersion of the gamer. Instead Sony opted for a bastardized version of the Wii controller which really is just plain stupid and offers nothing. Lastly, at the moment the console has no killer titles released for it and who the hell is going to give THAT amount of money to play "lightly polished PS2 games". If you consider that this was the last console to hit the market that is inexcusable for a company like Sony. Lastly, the HD TV argument for Xbox360 applies to the PS3 as well.




So there you go. Three "next gen" consoles ready to conquer the world...Not really folks give it a year maybe two and then we will talk again. Just because companies want to force us like sheep to buy overpriced products (just consider the 60-70 Euros of a "next gen" console game which will last like what 6-10 hours max, no value for money there). Think before you act, squeeze every last ounce out of the so called "last gen" consoles and wait for the truely next gen titles to arrive. Till then be smart and dont get carried away by the hype. You ' ll only see your bank account trembling and that is not a pretty sight...unless you are too rich to care which I am not, lol!

p.s. 1 : Hope you like the accompanying cartoon strips I made them myself...Kinda of rushed the design process of those but I consider them a nice diversion from reading text.

p.s. 2: PS3 and Xbox360 are really quite similar in their pros and cons, so I kinda of made a compromise among their strong points and weaknesses in order not to repeat myself. After all it is still early days...

Take care of yourselves all!