Let's stretch those dormant funny muscles, shall we?

How long has it been since I last wrote something in this blog? Was it sometime around the middle ages when the 'holy blog(in)quisition' was hunting me down on charges of poor taste humour? Or maybe the dinosaurs were still roaming the earth farting and causing earthquakes as I was carving my last blog entry onto some dark cave's walls... Come to think of it, my last known post could have been posted around the time of the Big Bang when all darkness went KABOOM!!! and then all known universe and... ,Deadpool's Laughing Den, along with it (unfortunately for humanity but what can you do...LOL!) were created (HOORAY!!!).

My readers had breathed a collective sigh of relief when months passed by without a single blog entry on my behalf... Then one fateful day,(that is...TODAY!) the illusion of a DP-less blogoverse vanished before their very eyes... I am back, just like that!!!

I think you got the point by now...No, not the fact that I am criminally insane beyond redemption with an acquired taste for wackiness infused blogging. The OTHER point... It has been TOO long since I graced this insanely 'divine' blog with any new material (but then again this hasn't necessarily been a bad thing for blog readers around the globe now, has it? LOL). So then, let me tingle my 'funny bone' to test its sorry state. After all I haven't used it in a while and the old bugger must be as rusty as Harrison Ford in Indy 4 (but then again that was CG rusty so it doesn't count, heh). On with the festivities then:


Deadpoolite (DP) : "DP to funny bone, DP to funny bone do you copy? I repeat do you copy?".

Funny bone (FB) (Shoving its proverbial palm up my face): " Talk to the hand sucker!".

DP: "Oh glorious funny bone where art thou?" .

FB: "I am currently unavailable leave a message after Radiohead's 'cheerful' song".

DP: "Argh!!! The pain of Radiohead whining incomprehensible 'mumbo jumbo' in the most depressive way possible never ceases to amaze me... It does help their cause that their lead singer looks like a hobbit on crack... Dear FB why are you abandoning me in my time of need (of a good 'mad-scientific' laugh that is)?".

FB: "I haven't been funny in months!!! My sense of humour is officially more rusty than Stallone's 'acting' in Rambo 4 dammit!".

DP: "That is TOO rusty indeed... In fact that is 'comatose rusty' in the rustometer of the funny scales (what on earth am I typing in? LOL)"

FB:" Truth be told I got stage fright... I can't perform in front of a live audience or any audience for that matter...".

A man is nothing without his priorities... I live, thus I BLOG!!!

DP: " But noone reads this blog... Besides how can you have 'stage fright', you are just a figment of my nutty imagination and I don't do stage fright it is bad for my silky smooth complexion...".

FB: " Still..."

DP: " Have no fear oh once mighty, now 'chicken style' cowardly, FB!!! I will be with ya via all the virtual tomatoes thrown at us by angry readers having the bad fortune to stumble upon this blog corner (let's face it , a life shattering experience like no other... LOL!)".

FB: "Was that your pep talk to get me going again? Because if it was, it SUCKED big time!".

DP: "Flattery will get you nowhere with me!"

FB: " Heh... You moronic fool, that was actually minisculy funny in an uber microscopic level as well. Maybe there is still hope that you will actually make a half - decent joke one day... One that won't make your readers consider suicide as a measure of redemption for wasting their time in this atrocious blog of yours...".

DP: " Oh you are too kind... Come to think of it though, who lost hope so I can find some? Hmm... maybe I'll look it up in the yellow pages. After all they got pretty much every number stashed in there, excluding the Eva Mendes 'date her and mate with her' helpline number. I often wonder why it is not included in that big ridiculously yellow book... " .

FB: "Eh... I'll take a wild guess with this one... Because it doesn't freaking exist!!!".

Being low budget has its considerable... ahem... ' merits' and glorious side-effects:). Oh well, I hope you get some amusement out of the goofiness of my wacky blog-endeavour of sorts.

DP: "Are you for real? No phone service for actually 'doing the nasty' with babes like Eva Mendes, Kate Beckinsale and Rosario Dawson?".

FB: "No...".

DP: " Not even for Drew Barrymore?".

FB: "Nope. But who wants to mate with screw Barrymore anyway".

DP: "You got a point there...".

FB: "Ok then, can I just leave this absurd impossible conversation with ya to save some of my fictional non-existing dignity? Even a virtual funny bone has rights you know?".

DP: " Yep, you are dismissed! You can't go far anyway, you are part of my insanity oozing subconcious remember?".

FB: " Bummer... I had forgotten about that one...".

DP: " Now sod off or face the endless pain of another mega crappy 'funny' line delivered by yours truely!"

And with those ominous words the FB disappeared as it if it had never existed (which is actually the truth but who cares, not me for sure, LOL!).

No death-defying stunt is too dangerous to attract some readership to this glorious blog:).

Now that I have used this "quality" post to fine tune my wacky sense of humour I can officially say that... : "I AM BACK!!!". Hmm... no applause? No frenetic female fans throwing their sexy underwear at me screaming? No even a bloody standing ovation? Geez everyone is a critic these days...

Till next time, take care!

P.S. : I think it is about bloody time I visit some of my godforsaken links and plague their comment boxes with my witty banter, oh you (un)lucky, (un)lucky people ... I promise I will do so soon!

DP out!!! (Finally, I thought I'd never shut up, heh).

Look at me go after the outraged readers of this post had one line too many to read and reacted with force... Lay off the caffeine dudes and dudettes:). It is only mindless fun after all!

The post that was never meant to be...

Goodbye cruel blogging world... Goodbye non-existing readership of mine and pointless stupidity infused posting... This blog is no more, it has ceased to be, it is an ex-blog that has gone to meet it s Blogger maker once and for all... It was a wild ride while it lasted but my wacky powers have failed me at long last... So then... One more thing left to say before I let my blogging existence fade into oblivion...Read on at your own peril...

Oh come on I fooled ya there for a moment didn't I? HA,HA,HA,HA!!!!! That was an appropriately shocking intro to my first post since... since... well since forever... LOL!!! No way I am quitting folks, but still I had to oil my pranking cogs so to speak:). On with the real posting festivities then!!!

You know I see what is happening with this blog, I really do (when I am not overdosing on M and Ms and see multi-coloured bunnies with afros, dance around me to groovy disco tunes that is...). Because of circumstance and not having the liberty to do so whenever I want to, I rarely blog anymore... I suppose that is to be expected... After all, blogging has sort of de-volved in my list of priorities and has become more of a "luxurious" past time since I do not have the time to exercise it the way I want to (and no that is not by typing, wearing only my underoos hanging upside down from the ceiling, although you never know what my wacky future has in store for me, LOL). All of the above are solid facts but there is a nagging feeling deep inside that doesn't let go of my wacky psyche... I tried to shake that feeling off several times but it still persists... I thought I was going to be driven insane but then I realised that is my natural state so no worries then:). To cut the long story short I created a couple of conspiracy theories about why it feels off whenever I log-on to Deadpool's Laughing Den... So without further ado let's see what this sad excuse of a brain I am plagued with has come up with...


Scenario 1: I have outgrown the habbit of blogging...

The thought has crossed my mind you know... Scarce readership, not enough mood on my behalf to write because of circumstances that will persist until Feb 2009 and just plain lack of writing mojo so to speak. The thought of letting R.I.P. of this blog has visited my mad Merc-y brainstorms once or twice but it hasn't taken over pushing all sanity away (bummer!!!). Two realisations made me push all 'deleting possibilities' away:

1) I like writing too much and I love the way I am communicating my thoughts in this particular blog. This damn place has character and personal style and it would be a shame to toss it all aside just because of a passing phase in my life.

2)I like the visual energy of this place and for a guy who is not big on the HTMLs and XMLs of this world , Deadpool's Laughing Den has the comic bookish style that I wanted for it, although it doesn't deal directly with the subject matter it is inspired from visually.

So then, Deadpool's Laughing Den is here to stay('Hooray!!!' , or "Bummer!!!" depending on perspective I suppose, LOL).

The novelty of blogging seemed to wear off for a moment there but then... it just didn't LOL!!!

Scenario 2 : I have outgrown my readers...

This has been a long time coming to be honest... As I've been visited progressively fewer and fewer of my affiliate blogs I realised that several of them have ceased to be affiliate or even interesting to me. Several blogs have been either cancelled or stuck in a neverending loop of repetitiveness that really didn't add nothing to my reading experience. As I have less and less time to actually visit blogs and comment on them I might as well go with the ones that keep things fresh and interesting. That is why I've given a well deserved boot to several of them thus my links list has become significantly smaller and all the better for it (I like giving the boot, it is just one of those sadistic pleasures that my Mercy punk ass can't get enough off, LOL!). Although the verdict is still pending for few of the remaining ones (come on you blogging scoundrels I can hear you shaking in terror over my blogging gilotine so to speak, LOL!) I won't be making any changes on that front anytime soon (breath a sigh of relief you overhyped links of mine, the day of judgement has passed for the time being, LOL).


Scenario 3 : This blog is 'too unique' for its own good...

This has also crossed my mind and I thought of making the writing style more accessible to the average reader since sometimes the combination of 'proper english/comic bookey english/ english of my creation/english which should have never seen the light of day' can become confusing to say the least (more often than not I am like, 'what the hell is this geezer talking about' and then the realization hits me hard, this geezer is ME!!! LOL!!!). However, this latest scenario faded into the wilderness of my subconcious before it even became a meaningful thought... The reason? If I modify my writing it just won't be me and the whole blogging experience will become a swamp of creative stagness and a burden rather than a joy... The solution is simple... Seek for appropriate audience rather than 'change for the sake of change' which would be sad really... The time when I will get my hands dirty with promoting this blog is not near but I will do so even if I have to increase my wacky rumblings brand of blogging a notch or two ( now that is scary...LOL!!!).

One thing is for sure... My unfortunate readers will once again pay the price of their persistent mazochistic tendency to read this blog... New victim....eerrr... readers are also welcome:)!!!

Bottom line folks of past, present and future is, Deadpool's Laughing Den is going to prevail despite recent hardships and lack of time... The reason being simple: I like making people smile or at least try to do so in my own unique way.Plus the awesomeness that is the Deadpool character comic book creation simply dictates it, so who am I to argue with the head honzo of comic book nutters eh?

Take care and throw the veil of pretended seriousness away, there is no place for it in this blog corner (don't you just love those impulsive sentences of mine at the end of each post? Oh I am so egocentric I think a tear ran down my cheek just by the realisation of my blogging awesomeness ha,ha,ha,ha!!!).

Till next time be well!

Check-in with DP airlines at your own peril...

The flight of my dreams... It hasn't happened yet but I am still young, thus all hope is not lost:).

So blogging hasn't exactly been a priority these past couple of months, but then again for an individual whose main diet is M and Ms , M and Ms and more M and Ms until he overdoses on chocolate cuteness that doesn't really say much... But enough of this outlandish behaviour already! (well not really...LOL). I may be mad and a nightmare for insurance companies but the purpose of my blogging existence is to entertain the masses (even though the 'masses' may not be aware of my sorry existence... LOL) and I'll be damned to blogging oblivion if I don't deliver the goods one more time (what the hell am I talking about? Do you have a clue? Because I sure as heck don't...).

I believe I can fly like Thor, the Asgardian/Norwegian god of old!!! Well, not really, I am too low budget for that, thus I always book tickets with 'suicide airlines central' for a pleasant flying experience:).

This ominous post ("ominous" eh? I just wanted to use the word, so sue me...LOL) is spawned by my ridiculous urge to share the experience of traveling with a 17 seats airplane for a 45 mins flight. I had never flown before with such a sorry excuse for a plane so it was pretty much a suicide mission to begin with(but since I thrive on 'suicide missions', e.g. finding readers for this blog, I was treading on familiar ground so no worries... LOL). The good news started early for me... As I approached this 'flying death wish of an aircraft' the hostess warned 'us' - 'us' as in "the unfortunate last minute traveling suckers" that is - to come on board 'one at a time' because the stairs couldn't handle our collective weight (yep, that made us feel safe alright, way to go girl... how about fetching those parachutes then...). When my majestic footwear touched the first stair it rocked for all the wrong reasons but I am not one to fall into despair that easily... With the air of a man that flies with such disaster airlines just 'for the thrill of it' I entered the passengers cabin. To be precise, I squeezed into 'the narrowest airplane corridor since the inception of airplane corridors' and practically landed onto my seat after navigating a maze of spread out feet across the length of the aircraft. As I parked my uberly Mercy punk ass into the seat and fastened the seat belt on, purely for formality's sake, (let's face it, all passengers were so close to eachother the aircraft's name should have been 'Jenga on wings' or something of the sort...). Minutes prior to take off, a bewildered woman squeezed into the seat next to me and before you know it, the engines started roaring with raw mechanical power (yeah right...it was more like the equivalent of a mosquito buzzing loudly after a seriousy "boozey/bloody" night...).

Hey don't look at me like that... Any DP post is a reason to P-A-R-T-Y!!! Am I one cocky 'Merc with a mouth' or what? LOL!!!

The thing is that as fate would have it, this plane had air screws and I was "lucky" enough to be seated right next to the wings... And then "The Buzz", the glorious buzz began... The airplane started running like a seriously overweight sprinter (which doesn't really make sense as an example, since such a man would have had a heart attack right upon thinking to run not actually running... but that is a casualty I am willing to accept for the sake of this post... LOL). So off this plane went down the air corridor supposedly accelerating, leaving me to wonder if it was actually going to take off intact or piece by piece... As the wheels left the ground and certain individuals on the plane renowned their faiths to whatever religions they believed in (it is nice to feel safe in an aircraft isn't it? LOL) I was sure that the hard part was over. Apparently the woman next to me didn't believe so, since she was grabbing on her seat as tight as a constipated fool's ass right on the verge of 'exploding' (eww...). To let some steam off, she started talking to me at random intervals saying things like : " this ain't so bad after all...", " I hope we make it...", "this is one of the worst aircrafts ever or what...?", with every single one of her comments being accompanied by a nervous chuckle. To be absolutely honest with you (a virtue not too common for this blog but I have my days... LOL) I am assuming she was saying these things since I couldn't hear a thing... You got it my amateur geniuses of readers out there!!! The buzzing sound right NEXT TO MY EAR, didn't leave much option for coherent interpersonal communication... Oh well, I guess depending on your lip reading skills once in a while saves energy and is 'eco friendly' since noone is "voice littering" your unfortunate ears and the planet as a whole:).

This was no time for pointless Shakesperean monologues and artistic delusions of grandeur... It was a time to shut up and hope that the landing that would ensue would be the one we were hoping for... Don't you just love it when I am in such an over the top mood :)? Oh come on, you know you do!!!

So the short flight time passed 'idyllic' like that, between buzzing noises, prayers for a safe landing (or any landing for that matter, LOL), creaking whispers of bolts ready to burst and thoughts about death wills that should have been written but would never come to be. As the lights of our destination glowed in the distance, a collective sigh or relief blew like a breeze of fresh air in the aircraft's passengers cabin (either that or someone squeezed his ass one time too many and showered the rest of us with his gassy deposit...ew... and double ewww...LOL). As we landed, all I could think of was my girlfriend's hug and how I wanted to tear the aircraft apart piece by piece purely on principle... I disembarked the airplane with the annoying grin of a man that has accomplished something worthy of distinction in his life and I rushed to the luggage claim area. The crappy flight was behind me like a long faded memory and all I cared about was the welcoming kiss of my girl... (yeah I know I am in an uber corny phase in my life and loving it... it will pass in a couple of decades or so... no worries then, LOL!!!). Moments later I was there... "ask and you shall receive" they say and they couldn't be more right(I always wondered who is "they"... however I'll end this post before it ends up like a wannabe "X-filey" relic of uber-conspiracy theories and pointless banter on my behalf ha,ha,ha,ha).

OK then!!! Another post that doesn't make sense added to my posting account! I am sure some wacky blogging knighthood of sorts is not too unrealistic a possibility for this mad as a hoot Merc after all:).

Till next time, take care friends!

"I never saw this coming", a lovestruck fool's wacky confession...

You know it still defies belief... In my system of life values, M and Ms uber consumption topped the scales and things like being sensible was a distant utopic thought reserved for 'normal' individuals. It is a given then that being madly in love (got the pun right...? 'madly', heh) was not a prerequisite for the survival of this merry Merc. Nevertheless, as fate would dictate it, here I am, exactly 7 months since I met the woman of my dreams (yeah I am that corny, somebody shoot me!!!) mumbling about it, more in love than ever (surely a sickening sight but this is an R-rated blog so deal with it like the good sports you are will ya? LOL). So what is exactly this post about then (other than a colossal waste of your time that is , muhahaha...)?

If you put a knife on my throat and forced me to categorize it (I have no clue why you would even do that but this is a nutty working hypothesis so roll with it...) I would have laughed manically (because it is what I do... being wacky and all... it is all good PR you see...) and would have shouted : " This is a crazy love letter to the woman who has changed my life" (too bad I can't say that she has restored my long lost sanity but beggars can't be choosers...). You see my ever suffering and pain enduring readers, after 7 months of being with this gal I just can't get enough of her (I know I am a disgrace you polygamic males out there but in all honesty "screw you what do you know" HAHAHAHA!!!).

Nah, my girl ain't a damsel in distress quite the opposite actually...but you know... I like to think that we 'saved' each other to some extent... Then again, I am Deadpoolite so I am a hopeless case beyond redemption by default:).

I can honestly say at this point in time that I am totally lost in this warm feeling of having my soul mate out there waiting for me, longing as much as I do to build a common future with me (rom-com screenplay writing here I come!!! LOL). I used to try and put all this into some sort of logical perspective, to try and analyze it, see the glitches in this seemingly 'perfect match up', control the exaggerations that come with being in love and generally put some sensibility in what is essentially an overwhelming emotional roller-coaster ride... No such luck... Regardless if I am as wacky as a hoot, if I want to deal killer blows to pretended seriousness and make people smile, there are just some things that are not meant to be interpreted by seemingly funny wisecracks or a logical train of thought. In retrospect, I can, beyond a shadow of doubt, state that I am more passionately "lost" than the LOST survivors on the island, I have no heroic ambitions to 'save the cheerleader(just my girl), save the world' like the characters in HEROES and I definitely don't want to lead a massive PRISON BREAK from the clutches of love struck hyper foolishness:).


If a common future is meant to be for us, there will be plenty of this for sure... Two strong personalities is all it takes... Let the swordfight and witty bunter begin I say:)!!!

As if this post wasn't corny enough and cheesy as hell, I'd like to overblow it and go one step further (which can only be a bad thing, but who cares this blog is a 'lost cause' as it is, so I might as well enjoy it... LOL!). The current highlights of my life are:

-Talking to her on the phone and skipping a heartbeat when she is saying something cute and cuddly...

-Having her next to me, sleeping, in the few occasions that we manage to meet...

-Losing myself in our kiss and feeling her love cruising through my veins...

-Feeling shitty when she is away, yet certain that she loves me at least as much as I love her...

-Hearing her roaring laughter ringing in my ears like a song that was written just for me...

- Immensely enjoying her teases and jokes towards me (and of course) appropriately responding because "I am Deadpoolite goddamn it and I got a reputation to maintain!!!"

-Hoping that our plans for the future will come to fruition one way or another...



Just when you think that this post can't get any cheesier I put this vid in, LOL!!! Great song though...


You see dear readers, this my gift, this is my curse I am a lovestruck fool and I wouldn't have it any other way!!! (I detect a certain degree of mazochism in the above sentence but maybe this is just me, and my ever recurring madness kicking into full gear, so I'll pass, heh!).


Thank you Vivi for a wonderful 7 months, they have made me greedy for a lot more!!!


Take care ya all and I'll be back when... (guess what) ... I can be back, LOL!!!


P.S.1: Oh, this post will haunt me for years to come, I just know it...LOL

P.S.2: If this level of uber cheesiness doesn't kickstart an onslaught of comments then I will ask Blogger for a refund...wait a minute... using Blogger is a 'free of charge' service... SHIT!!! There goes my conman career right out of the window...:).

Later.

A "nasty" mission briefing:)

So OK I am a big fat lier that overblows meaningless things in order to get some readers' attention. I am guilty as sin on all accounts of exaggerated blogging and loving it... Simply put ladies and gentlemen, I am Deadpoolite and this is my blogging Kingdom, where I make the wacky rules and readers check their brains out of the exit before entering in the wacky realm (I know, I know this is another one of those intros 'gone bad' where the readers are torn between shooting themselves or staying with me for a couple more lines, heh, stay with me people , you are too hardcore not to!). So I admit that it wasn't exactly a 'mission briefing'... I mean there is no bloody mission where I am, when there is no war at hand, right?, LOL. Thus, it was more of a case of a pointless briefing about various things, especially designed to " mentally sedate" (if not kill...) the unfortunate attendees ' (that would be me and the rest of the tortured souls present in this 'maelstrom of misinformation' , LOL).

Sometimes you can never be too prepared / too armed against human stupidity and verbal malarchy... It is just the way the world works:).

Let's face it, when a briefing, a lecture or whatever you want to call it, begins with how to drive, turns into hazards of various devices, informs about global warming and unleashes -as a last resort to grab attention- career prospect info upon you, only one thing comes to mind: "You are fuck...!!! Royally, utterly, irreversibly, mindfuc... beyond any hope of salvation..." Your brain turns into jello (for me it is its natural state so no new developments there, LOL) and all you can do is watch, hopelessly, as people around you fall like flies from boredom, some of them turn their heads around at 360 degree angles like that girl from 'The Exorcist' and the least resilient among them fall asleep like ODing polar bears in the middle of Winter:). Yes it was that bad... It was the briefing to end all briefings... It was one of those surreal experiences that David Lynch would have been proud to include in one of his movies... I am surprised there wasn't an urgent recruitment of new individuals after the end of this 'verbal massacre' that left people equally incapacitated, brain dead and at the verge of 'the coma state to end all coma states'.

Not even close folks, this 'freak' has a long wacky blogging way ahead of him. HAH!!!. Still it was a close call for my ever aching brain cells:).

The details of this pointless lecturing about things that 10 year olds take for granted and senile old fools still remember are not important. I won't tire you with all the foolishness that made my head split in two and dance the chicken dance before being put back together by the last strand of reason left in my brain (Wasn't that an appropriately 'Deadpoolitian' sentence or what..., amazing in its wacky glory , ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). What matters is that , despite the pointlessness of the whole affair, beyond the hardship enforced by ridiculous words and even more absurd phrases, Deadpoolite survived... I guess I am immune to extreme malarchy by default, I really can't explain it any other way ha,ha,ha,ha... Maybe the madness contained in my own head, part of it unleashed in this unfortunate blog, prevented the 'too stupid for words' reality from sinking in and irreversibly destroying the traces of sanity I got left. Who knows, maybe I got to thank my readers for being there, unwillingly (or willingly...you mazochistic blogging freaks... just kidding...ha,ha,ha) so I can unleash some verbal steam out and keep my wits together. Whatever the case, the awesomeness that is Monsieur Deadpoolite emerged victorious from this 'Hades of pointless lecturing' (' Hades' I write... hey those "300" inspired crumbs of audio visual pleasure are still going strong it seems... bummer...LOL) that seemed to be his brainless final destination. Nope, DP is OK, as OK DP can be anyway... Have no fear for the destiny of the wackylord, cause he is still going strong my ever diminishing reading minions:)!

Still as maddenigly cute as ever, or so I say myself:)

Till next time, be well and I will be around when my glorious moodswings dictate it...


Take care all!