"Gamer" : A movie worthy of the GAME OVER screen...

Today, I went to watch the movie "Gamer" in the local multiplex... Oh, what a grave mistake that was... It all started innocently enough when a friend of us ("us" as in the killer combo of DP and woman crazy enough to love DP) called and told us that he was going to watch the movie "Gamer". My gal proposed to join him and although I was aware of the atrocity against the silver screen that I was going to witness I consented. The premise behind this disaster of a film should have supposedly been cool for the videogaming crowd among which I cheerfully place myself (oh, what a badge of honour for the "gamepad challenged ones", to have me among their high scoring ranks indeed..).

I wish this post was about a fun game and not a crap movie but beggars can't be choosers:) . Still, "PRESS START", you know you want do (why is that, is beyond me though, LOL!)

The basic story was that, in the not so distant future, sexless losers control other people sentenced to death row, in a multiplayer on-line game called "Slayers". As, you can judge from the title of the game, it isn't about psychotic death penaltying geezers exchanging cookie recipes or kniting designs but about on-line fighters blowing eachother to bits in the hope that they are going to be released from prison one day. And so the movie began with such nauseating editing it made the Bourne Supremacy directing look like Wall-E. I honestly had a headache by the end of the first half hour (and let's not talk about my urge to go "Splosion man overload" on whoever contributed in creating this crap). Don't get me wrong, big explosions, meat grinded exploding fools and guns lots of guns are cool when done right, but this mess of direction was like a bad trip on hallucinating drugs (and no I don't mean peanut infused M and Ms although, strangely enough, they do have the same effect on me...).

Ah!!! Constipated Gerard mode in action... Hey man, you didn't blow up everything, missed a spot... or a career in the making who knows... Nah, you will bounce back, this isn't "game over" for you yet( couldn't resist the crappy pun though, sorry, heh).

The movie consisted of actors that wrote 'easy paycheck' on their foreheads with Gerard Butler in particular looking baffled and confused as what on earth he was doing in this flick to begin with. Ah, there were so many memorable moments of poor taste in this vomit inducing celluloid "gem" that I will only provide a couple of examples here (after all I want my readers dangerously entertained.but not uttetly lobotomized): Example number 1: A sweaty half naked uber-fat guy was controlling a babe on-line and another guy was controlling a virtual sex maniac wearing latex...And those two virtual breathing avatars were about to get it on in what must be the most ridiculously camp scene ever.

Then, Gerard Butler entered into the room and broke the sex maniac in half... Smooth Gerard, real smooth... Basically, most of the movie was about this actor breaking other people in half, or shooting them to bits, or (example number 2) taking a leak and vomiting into an ethanol propelled car to fill its reservoir... Oh yes, who needs alternative power sources when you can take a piss, after downing a bottle of vodka, and apparently make a hybrid car move... By that point, the whole audience was either out with the torches and the pitchforks OR plain numb from disbelief at what it had just witnessed. Did I mention that the bad guy, (the looney one out of the Dexter TV series) welcomed the 'hero' of the flick in his mansion, singing and dancing to the "I got you under my skin" song... I mean LOL... and extra LOL and hyper LOL with sugar on top or what!!!

When this is the best scene in the movie, you know you are in the wrong movie... OR maybe the best movie ever made... (incoming slipper from girlfriend, time to dodge, damn that woman has good aim, perfect headshot...ouch!).

I am sure the wacko who made this movie had a lot of money to spare, wanted to pass some sort of weirdo message about on-line communities and how dangerous new technologies can become if not handled right, or had just 'puffed the red dragon' a tad too much. I mean let's face it, naked women tits were flying left and right simply because the 'gamers' of the world are apparently sex crazed individuals lacking the real deal and praying to the gods of youporn, for some Megan Fox lookalike to break into their rooms and f... their brains out. In retrospect, I'd rather had watched "The Running Man" with the "Governator" in the lead role ,once again ,which had convicts in yellow tracksuits trying to survive the killers of a TV show (which sounds equally ridiculous but who cares, I am fighting a lost cause here, LOL!). Ah, the classics folks, don't mess with the classics... Oh well, at least I got a "healthy" portion of nachos with melted cheese into my dieting stomach and felt a lot better about the echoes of my departed cash shouting "SUCKER!" from the distance...


Ah, Arnold, you were half decent back then... and then you got elected:)

Till next time, take care all!

Keeping things simple, a personal maddening paradox...

For yours truely keeping things simple was never a character trait... Be it personal relationships, job hunting, hobbies or whatever else you fancy, I was never one to live today like there is no tomorrow. There had to be some plan, or hint of a plan or even an illusion of a plan that would echoe a more longterm approach. In some sense, this is still the case but to be honest it hasn't been the way it used to. My gal would teasingly say that I am a Capricorn, thus I plan for plan's sake but being the imbecilic fool that take pride in admitting to be, I beg to differ with this simplified 'supernatural' version. In other words, why bother with the PG version of things when you can opt for a hefty R or even M rating?

It doesn't get much more M- rated than that... Run Splosion buddy, run:).

So, yeah there is a plan of sorts somewhere around my peanut sized brain but it doesn't define my actions anymore. You see, part of the reason I am glad to have reached my current hyper-looney albeit 'vegetabilic' (die english language, die, I will kill you with my non-existing ridiculous words, LOL!) condition is that I am living my life oblivious to personal restraints of any sort that used to impair my evolution as an individual('personal evolution' eh? Oh that was so futuristic from a linguistic point of view, it almost brough a tear to my eye...almost...). I can "cut" the simplicity of my actions out of thin air, it is practically all around me. It is evident in what I do for living, in the videogames I am playing, in the honesty of my feelings towards my loved ones, it is in fact quite liberating. Now before this post turns into a ridiculous self absorbing blissful mess (oopps too late for that...), let's present an example of simplicity for simplicity's sake. And what better realm to dig to, from the inexplicably complicated world of videogames...

I think I finally 'lost my head' with this post... What on earth am I talking about? LOL!

For most women or non-gaming losers seeing a gamepad up close and personal is a frightening experience... So, many sticks and buttons can cause practically a headache to the uninitiated just by looking at them. Imagine playing one of modern games with the many button combinations and fast reflexes required... Oh the learning curve is steep ladies and gentlemen and the horror permeating your every pore is justified, just thinking about it (or not... LOL!).Have no fear though, because even a gaming veteran such as myself has a soft spot for simplicity in his gaming diet. And the name of the simple stuff is SPLOSION MAN!!! (top marks for the made up word to the developers of the game, I love torturing the english language as well guys).The premise of the game is simple: you are a wacked up experiment escaping from an underground lab and you have to ex(s)plode(actually if I put "s" first the word miraculously becomes "sexplode", hmmm... kinky...) your way out of there taking as many scientists to their biotech maker as you can. Now, I am a bioscientist and I should opt for my cartoonish colleagues but I am also DP and there is no fun in rooting for the biofreaks. So, "off with their heads" I say!!! The gameplay is simple enough using only a couple of buttons and it is really cartoonishly funny (for someone with my sense of humour anyway, other sane people call this "silly" I've heard...). Basically, the main character explodes his way through the levels( I am sure a lot of pissed off workers out there have thought of doing the same around the bosses sometime or another...or maybe that is just me, LOL!!!).

Ah, little flamey looney Splosion man, noone Splodes quite like you (oh that pun was so bad... I LOVE IT!).

As time management in my life becomes more essential with every passing day, I try to keep things simple just to make my life easier.It doesn't always work but when it does I sleep better these days... Ah, let me be carefree now that I can, my invisible minions of readers, and let's see how long it will last.Not long enough, I am sure... (bummer, LOL!).

Till next time, take care!

Random thoughts of blank importance....

Damn that title sounds intelligent even if I say so only myself. It is so damn hard to write about nothing in particular and come up with something that sounds coolish. So, this is a post about random things perplexing my life at the moment, hang on dudes and dudetes...

I guess the fact that I finished this game won't do anything for my CV's credentials but I couldn't resist the b-movie urge to post this pic purely on b-movie principle:).

On the work front I am almost where I need to be but it is progressing ridiculously slow because of set deadlines beyond my control. Still I will eventually get where I want to be and I am currently undergoing a warm up/ training period. You wouldn't call me fully employed but you wouldn't call me unemployed either, LOL! It is all a matter of perspective after all. Oh, and CALISTA, that thing you mentioned about me getting immersed in a bio lab, it is coming, so you might as well lock yourself up in a nuclear banker because who knows what I am going to unleash once I begin meddling with DNA:).

Step aside from the test tubes DP... slowly...:).

On the personal life front, I am pretty content and as much in love with my girl as day one(yeah, there was a woman out there that can tolerate my non-sense after all). Furthermore, we have started making some changes to our humble household beginning with the purchase of new bedroom furniture which looks cool and awesome and, and... basically serves all the right purposes kinky and non-kinky ones... I don't know what will follow but our common life proceeds as good as can be expected and in September we will have reached 2 years together,not bad eh? (of course there is a ton of macho malarchy induced men that would beg to differ but who cares, LOL!).

...bedroom testing in progress:).

On the videogaming front (I can sense Muse, Calista, Zhu and all other female readers taking a nap at this point) I just finished House of the Dead : Overkill on Wii and all I have to say is... B-Movie Extreme Extravaganza doesn't get much cooler than that!!! If you like the B-movie vibe of low budget fims with crappy cheesy dialogue that do not take themselves too seriously,then you are going to enjoy this. Pretty short game, the gameplay is repetitive, as all House of the Dead games but who cares... The coolness checklist is there... Zombie shooting CHECK. Ridiculously funny and profane story CHECK. Did I mention Zombie shooting? Oh yeah, CHECK!!! Pretty short game though, so either borrow or rent (otherwise I am gonna laugh like Joker on crack over your credit card bill coming next month).

Her name is Varla Guns... Need I say more, male population of the world:)?

On the summer vacation front things are more or less preset... This being my first year in the beautiful isle of Crete there are so many places to go and enjoy at this time of the year, I will rarely move my ass away from the place. I am thoroughly enjoying my staying here and I sincerely recommend it as a vacation destination to people that haven't had the luck to visit the island. Come on Google it up, you know you want to:).A week ago, I had a bit of a tour to Northern Greece involving a lot of fun with fav relatives, witnessing an extremely traditional greek wedding (no Nia Vardalos filming crew in sight so do not fret true believers) and having an overall blast of a time. For a week, we were constantly changing places of accomodation and meeting many people I think my brain kinda of overloaded from the vast data input. Oh, well nothing new there:).

Bloody DP is working the hell out of me... slow down man... I am the only brain you got!!!

On the blogging front, this was more a proof of blogging life than a post... Besides who has the stamina to blog, with the temperature so high at this time of the year. With more inspiration will come new blog posts but till then, it will have to wait.

Take care all and see you around!

Why are you still blogging you anachronistic freak?!

I am sure you have all noticed it... It permeates the once thick blogless atmosphere of times past... Oh, bloggers where art thou? Blogs are closing down with alarming (or high pleasing, I am sure you have you seen the crap that was out there at the peak of the 'sport') rate. I check my links at the right hand column and they ooze defunct from their godforsaken URLs. The number of comments in even the most prominent blogs has tanked beyond any foreseeable redemption and the monster of... Twitter has raised its igly head until the next trend comes out. It is 'lazyman's blogging' for the uninitiated and all the better for it if you ask me. I mean there were so many blogs out there at one time and so many of them were so utterly crap, made from people that can't tell their 'B's from their 'C's. Yet, they made a blog because 'everyone was doing it'. And when the damn thing reached saturation point, when even cats and dogs were blogging their nonsense out, it was evident that the decline was not far away.

Is blogging really 'dead' or it is all a big cartoon conspiracy? LOL!!!

Still... a handful of us keep blogging, maybe not as regularly as we used to but our blogs remain alive for some uncanny reason. Virtual relics of dying ways of internet interpersonal interaction or persisting pioneering doofooses? Either way it is evident that the flare for the 'sport' has gone. Personally, blogging served a purpose of sorts in a time where my life was in between choices and non-choices. A way out of thinking about the 'serious stuff' all the time.And laughing hard at the face of every day's continuously looping habits I did. Now, I stand quite indifferent at the sport with not much personal investment in the sense that I don't really put much time in creating the blog entries or to visit other people's blogs. Yet, I keep feeling a strange sense of 'obligation' to keep my two blogs going, more because they are a part of me and remind me of what was and how life has changed for me since their inception and during the course of their life.

So apparently, old school bloggers are sort of 'undead' with a killer on-line twist... Oh, yes, you can't put a mouthy fool like myself down that easy, you Twitting beast!!! LOL!!!

Which brings me to the main question of this blog entry... Why does each one of you keep blogging? Does this habbit serve the same purpose as it once used to for you? What was the original motivation for kickstarting your blogaddiction and where do you stand with blogging at the moment? Come on fellow blogging madmen and madwomen of the bloggosphere, share your insightful lunacy with the rest of us!

And with those wise words, I end this non-post and await your replies with great interest and curiousity.

Take care all!

P.S. : TOP RIGHT, relative poll, vote!!! Nuff said, LOL!!! Yeah, I know I am subtle like that, ha,ha,ha!!!

What Deadpool thinks of the Wolverine movie...

I may have the blog, I may be called Deadpoolite and be the zanier comic book inspired blogger, however there is a reason I don't use Deadpool's name as a nickname... somebody got it before me, f*@ing bastard!!! Now that we got the pleasantries out of the way, let's diss out some verbal punishment towards the way of the Wolverine live action movie starring his uber coolness Mr. Hugh Jackman. Don't get me wrong, I like Hugh's depiction of Wolvie as much as the next guy but being a DP fan I wanted predominantly to see how his silver screen debut came along. And "see" I did... But why bother you with my own sorry drivel when his mock-ajesty Mr Deadpool himself is once again among us. Without further ado let's begin this interview that will rock the world of the minions of my invisible yet loyal readers...Major spoilers coming your way, but trust me I am doing you a favour:

Deadpoolite(DL): Hello, my 2-Dimensional Merc with a mouth, how ya doing?
Deadpool(DP): Shut up and shut up!!!
DL: Always the charmer I see... So, I reckon that you have watched the Wolverine movie then, right?
DP: Yeah, I watched up until Ryan Reynolds shut his pup for good...
DL: But that was like 15 mins into the movie!!!
DP: Best 15 mins of my life!
DL: So, how faithful were they to the character of DP almighty then?
DP: If you take aside the fact that I am profficient both in guns and swords which they didn't show, that I have a healing factor which was AOL until my (DP puking in his mouth...) "transformation", I have a full body Spiderman rip-off costume that was nowhere to be seen and that I never shut up, while in the movie I was speechless for most of it, I think they "nailed" it real good...
DL: So would you call it a faithful transfer of your awesomeness from page to celluloid?
DP: What the hell is "celluloid"?
DL: Nothing contagious I assure you...
DP: Don't mess with me boy or I swear to the divine flavour of M and Ms and taco bells that I will have your head!!!
DL: If that is going to bring me any more readers I am ready to pay the price!

What is...

DP: Hey, I am a hitman not a miracle worker... I mean seriously you got a DP themed blog, I am like marginally B-list behind spoiled A-listers: Weblooney Spidey, Green beans Hulkie and Iron "Magnetism intolerant" Man. Heck, even Blade got like 3 movies of his own... How do you expect to get any readership with my ugly mug all over the place?
DL: It is a risk I am willing to take...
DP: Hey, it is your google-analytics funeral dude, leave me out of your wet fantasy of dominating the bloggosphere and all your readers being gorgeous babes worshipping you...
DL: YOU CAN READ INTO MY MIND???
DP:No...
DL: Damn, busted... Anyhow, back to the movie, what did you think of yourself in it?
DP: Well, mistake number 1 they shut me up... I mean OK I had all these cool powers and Wolverine was like toast but a guy on a PC was controlling me typing on MSN messenger I mean that is low...
DL: So, you lost the battle because of MSN lag then?
DP: Damn Microsoft servers, if only I could change my head into a smiley of some sort they would have never decapitated me, I mean it is a common known fact that everyone likes smileys...

What was for 15 minutes or so...

Voice heard from a distance... "All except two..."

DL (Shouting): Noted dudes!
DP: Who was that?
DL: Just the voices in my head nothing to worry about...
DP:Ooookkkaaayy....
DL: So how about the rest of the movie, was there any redeeming quality at all in it?
DP: Blob was fat, Gambit was ridiculous, that pretty much sums it up...
DL: That's it?
DP:Yeah, I suppose it does. I was too busy eating Doritos with cheese to notice. Hugh Jackman was okay, I genuinely believe that he thought this movie was a good idea...
DL: You said "genuine", man your vocabulary is getting better you must be getting soft...
DP: Just a minor side effect of digesting your verbal crap...
DL: What about the rest of the cast?
DP: The Sabretooth dude was having fun but I am not sure he knew why, the rest of the cast died too soon or were sleepwalking throughout the movie which is always good when you want to hit the toilet during a movie...
DL: Did you go many times to the toilet during Wolverine?
DP: Man, I never left the toilet...

And what we ended up with...

DL: Ok then, on the issue of the scriptwriters shutting you up 15 mins into the movie what did you think?
DP:Off with their heads I say!!! That was sacriligiously blasphemous, I mean I had so much wackiness to share and then they went, temporarily killed me off (off-screen as well) and then reanimate me with my mouth shut... A fate worst than death... I really hoped my healing factor would fail me at that point but the Hollywood gods were not merciful with me... Damn bastards!!!
DL: Last couple of questions DP, ready for them?
DP: Sure, who cares your blog can't sink any lower readership wise ,so why not give it it's final death blow... I aim to please you see...
DL: Do you want Ryan Reynolds to play you in an upcoming full blown ultra hyper Deadpool spin off movie?
DP(in teenage girl voice): Ryyyaaannnn, oh I love him so much!!! Go Ryan, here take my underwear!!!
DL(holding my nose): Pffff, man you need to wash more...
DP: Personal hygiene is highgly overrated... Either you agree or I instantly decapitate you!
DL(making victory sign with both hands): You are da man DP!!!
DP: Don't you just love democracy...

It better be...

DL: And now for the final question...
DP: ...
DL: What will happen if the scriptwriters shut you up again in your own movie this time...?
DP: I think that learning to write using their feet is a fantastic skill that they should definitely try since it will become a necessity... Besides, I will be above their heads at all times giving them my *ahem* "creative input". You know use their asses for target practice with my Piranha darts, constantly make jokes about their penises, the works... Ah, that will get them going I am sure. Nothing like a good old motivation strategy DP style I assure you...
DL: That is that then thank you for joining this ridiculous fictional interview that never happened...
DP: Hey man, it is your brain and your insanity, I am just glad I was in for the ride. Now shut up and shut up!!!


Beating some sense into the "movie abomination DP(?)" was a dirty job but someone had to do it:).

And just like that DP vanished into my wacky subconcious leaving a trail of rotten taco bell smell behind him...

Hope you cracked a smile or two, take care all!