Thursday 24 November 2011

My stupid fitness revolution, videogaming style...


It is a little known fact that I hate exercise. Not in all its forms per se, just the ones involving going to a gym... and exercising.... and sweating like a pig around other suckers that sweat like pigs... and being demolished afterwards... Yeah, that sums it up quite nicely I think, I hate going to the gym, period!!! The closest I ever came to enter a gym, past the reception lobby that is, was years ago in Thessaloniki. There,"a little man" bursting with muscle volume and wearing clothes several sizes smaller than his normal size, tried to explain to me how things worked in his "gym realm". Let's just say it didn't work out between us (
that is between gym and man, not between man and man which would complicate things in a way too gay to explain, LOL!). I used to do several team sports several years back but then videogames, fattening drinks and girls with needs came to my life, so that went out of the window really soon. Which brings me to the current state of things... One day I woke up and I realised that I have become a couch potato. Not much of an epiphany but it did the trick for me. Apparently, all that virtual running in Elder Scrolls Oblivion didn't burn any real life calories but those are the things that they usually skip, in in-game turorials... (damn!). So, I find myself in a hiatus between the necessity of exercising and the formidable allures of my ever bending sofa... Hmmm... what to choose... what to choose...


I am totally ready to kickass and don't let my couch potato look fool ya:). Oh, come on seriously now...

When the time comes to take an important decision and you are split between two choices, it is time to create a third choice just to do things the "malakas way" as we say here in Greece. Using all my creative mental juices, I focused my brain power in a way to exercise that would make things more playful rather than absolute torture for my sensitive couch potato psyche. So, without further ado, I present you my videogame fitness challenge! Oh yes, I joyfully concluded that the reason for my couch potato transformation could also be my fitness salvation. I got a Kinect, I got a Wii and by the godlike muscles of Chuck Norris I am going to use them to full effect! So yeah, that's it, that is my brilliant idea that has sent shivers down gymnasts spines around the world. Exercise into your own living room instead of sweating like a malakas around other people that smell bad or have come straight out of the Olympic games, stamina wise. Eat my dust losers of actual exercise, I am going to lose weight by exercising in virtual worlds and finally approximate my ingame avatars dimensions (what a noble goal indeed, LOL!).

Oops wrong gaming role model, quite chubby little bast*rd too:)

In upcoming days, weeks or whenever I will be posting how I am doing with my personal fitness challenge (all gory fatass details included with no charge of course), so that my ever expanding invisible readership will learn all the info it craves for but doesn't dare to ask!

And with those awesome words of nonsense wisdom I leave this blog once more...

Till next time friends!