I walked further uphill as other glorious Lamian citizens were going about their business without giving the escalator a second look. "Is this a mass hypnosis effect so that they don't aknowledge the existence of this out of place abomination? OR some of these people read my blog regularly and they have irreversible brain damage so their deductive logic equals that of a sprout?" I wondered in awe. Nevertheless and with these grave questions littering my accursed brain I observed the high end of the escalator. There was a road perpendicular to the upper part of the escalator followed by a set of stairs leading to a church at the top... This greek tragedy of a picture made the cogs of my brain turn in angles that I wasn't aware were physiologically possible and two case scenarios(more like a one case scenario and an "alien invasion malarchy" that will never see the light of day unless the price is right or the readers demand it...LOL) flashed in front of my eyes as to what the escalator was doing in this "too steep for words" street in the first place....
AN ESCALATOR MADE BY MEN TO FACILITATE APPROACH TO THE CHURCH TO AGEING BELIEVERS ( A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN SO TO SPEAK)
Let's assume that the escalator was built by humans to aid other humans go up the street and approach the temple of god at the top. Well, this scenario would be almost logical and utterly sane if not for the following:
Assuming that the escalator begins half way up the street and not at the base of it an elder is not particularly helped by it since he has to go up half way the street on foot (come on glorious old war veterans the spirit of "300" demands you give it a go, even if it is a suicide mission, LOL). Maybe the vespa/scooter I saw parked nearby serves that purpose indeed to aid the elders reach the escalator in one piece.
Assuming that one of the unfortunate people to attempt this, doesnt leave his last breath on the asphalt of the street and survives till he reaches the escalator, he will be faced with another riddle. "How to turn the escalator on, since it is permanenty off!" and I don't know a single person who has seen it working apart from daydreaming mumbling fools and dreamy M and Ms eating lunatics...(hey dont look at me... so ok I got a life membership in both of the above clubs...who doesn't... it is perfectly legal after all...lol). Anyway for the sake of argument let's say that either by a stroke of luck (or lightning) someone manages to make the escalator work and he uses it to go up grinning like he won the lottery without even playing (ok, this was insane but the best is yet to come so do not despair just yet, save it for the end... lol). As he would reach the top he would have to cross the street.No biggie really since it is a narrow street and for once not an uphill one! The gods of greek street making have been merciful to the unlucky ageing passerby that would like to reach the church above... it is a miracle I am telling you, LOL.
So after crossing the plain, old fashioned,perfectly even, gloriously unsmoothy specimen of greek asphalt laying on the ground and reach the stairs then what? An ageing geezer would have suffered at least a couple of strokes minimum and a heart attack as an opener just reaching the base of the stairs. Still, there is no end to some people's faith (or stupidity) so I guess at least one heroic senile citizen of Lamia would reach that landmark. All that separates "the faithful from their faith" is a bunch of uphill stairs, not exactly a handful of stairs a bit more than that.
Hypothetically speaking an old man with advanced military training (even if that was during his long gone youth...) and the willingless to lose a couple of limbs in the process or have some vital organs abandoning all will to continue functioning could do it(or at least get the medal of "the open palm" for trying...For non-greeks... there will be an explanation of what this means in a future post...greeks know what I mean,LOL). So whoever reaches the church would be blessed and happy and giggly and content that he still "got what it takes" to survive this ordeal and reach the church. Then, he would look down and the realisation would hit him hard like a ton of bricks : "Bummer, I have to go all the way down as well..."
After the above autopsy of the premises and this insane theory on what the criteria to build this "travesty of an escalator" were, I cracked a smile thinking of my readers either laughing or crying from desperation(mission accomplished...heh).Then, I went on my merry way to create another 'blogging madness' scenario for the next post. Never a dull moment with this DP character it seems...
Take care and I hope this was an OK read for the ones among you that are still among the living, after reaching the bitterly insane end:) Yeah, I am a gentleman like that... I care ... for my blog's stats:)
Till next time friends!