If you watch one vid out of the lot, watch this one! This is the UNCUT introduction of the original Resident Evil game and it is hilarious. It was filmed with real people (I dont say actors, they werent actors, these people were just company employees,lol).The dog you see growling was a fake dog head on a tagpole. This is so cheesy it hurts but it is also very funny because of it. Back then a Resident Evil franchise wasnt even on the radar... this was supposed to be a one off gig you see:)
Ok, now that the premise is done and dusted let's move on to the really funny stuff...(Drums rolling....)
Resident Evil 1 was played by Deadpoolite in 1998 (you know what they say about the first love right...?) at the Halls of Residence in London where he was staying at the time (ok, enough with the third person thing...)
As a fresh faced undergraduate half way through my first year in the university I bought a PS1, rented a TV and bought Resident Evil (what a trilogy of happiness ha,ha,ha...). I knew nothing about it other than that a cousin of me liked it and that it had zombies in it (I really needed no more incentive to buy something back then... besides I could always torture my cousin if it had been crap, so it was a win win situation either way for me... LOL). So, I started playing the game, controlling the moronically speaking and equally stupid acting Chris Redfield. For the first couple of minutes I was just leading the poor clueless sap in the game's scary mansion, marching like a tourist not a care in the world. As I opened a door and entered a dark corridor, I walked a bit further and then a cut-scene kicked in with a horrendous zombie having a feast on some poor bastard. Then, all of a sudden, this epitomy of human decomposition turnt its ugly head to face me (hey, even zombies need dessert...). As I was totally unaware of anything about the game (good times in that respect back then...) I wrestled with the gamepad trying to make the moronic malakas I was controlling react to his impending doom or just plain flee from it.... To no avail though.... I wasn't yet familiar with the control scheme of the game so the zombie just grabbed my sorry Merc ass and just had a ball with this uninvited "human freebie meal". As a relatively pristine zombie killer back then, I just dropped the gamepad, screamed with a voice like the Bee Gees lead singer and was left looking at the screen bewildered (any rumours that I wetted my pants as well is totally unsubstantiated for the most part anyway...LOL).
This bloody cut scene was my first ever in the world of Resident Evil... It lasted only 14 secs and it really creeped me out back then... Remember this was a time before Google and such on-line commodities and info about the game was scarce or I wasnt sure how to access it. So, yeah I got scared...sad but true:)
As I was getting better with the game and was killing zombies left and right my social life kind of deteriotated to the point of non-existent for a week or so. It was me against the zombies and for all I cared there could have been a nuclear explosion in the London area and I wouldnt have bothered to blink about it ha,ha,ha,ha. Point is my laundry was accumulating as well, I hadnt shaved for a week or so (I looked something like a ZZ top singer that week), let's not talk about showering and I really cant recall going to the toilet but it could have happened, I am sure. So, really I was the epitomy of a lazy bum embedded to his bed. One day, within this idyllic scenery and as I was blasting the undead to smithereens, a friend of mine (who later became my girlfriend) knocked on my door and asked : "DP are you alright? I havent seen you for days... anyhow if you are inside there is a phone call for you at the common room phone".
As I cleared my throat to mumble some sort of civilised reply, an incomprehensible growling sound came out of my mouth instead ( I guess my vocal cords went AOL on me since I hadnt talked much for like days....lol). Susan knocked on the door even more persistently, slightly worried... I gathered all my willpower and strength to communicate with another civilised being and lifted my left hand to open the bloody door, ready to blast the imbecile that dared interrupt my Resident Evil transfixation. Good thing the room was so tiny I didnt have to get out of bed to open the door since I am sure my feet were partying in atrophy heaven from my laziness, at the time. As I unhinged the door, my head tilting weirdly to the left like some "Exorcist girl " wannabe, Susan tried to enter the room and the door hit me straight on the forehead (good thing my bucketload of dirty laundry was blocking the door from opening at full length, otherwise I would have been the first ever beheaded student in the history of the University,lol). Unphased by this revolting development (after all, only playing Resident Evil mattered, the rest were just distractions...ha,ha,ha), I had the following dialogue with Susan who was looking at me like I just escaped from a nuthouse:
Susan: Are you ok?
Susan: You got a phone call.
DP: Whoizit? (all in one word...lol)
Susan: Your parents from Greece.
DP: Okz... berightthere (I was a man of few words what can I say, lol)
Susan: Bye... (looking puzzled)
As you can easily deduct, I wasnt offing zombies in-game anymore, I was turning into one of them , LOOLLL!!!
Zombite or Deadpoolite? I wasn't even sure myself back then... itchy tasty...:) Sorry little in-joke there for "the people in the know" (as if...lol), couldn't resist...
Years later I played Resident Evil 3 with a cousin of mine. The original thing about that game was, that it had one kickass monster called Nemesis that could go through doors, so basically you were never safe. At some scripted game intervals the monster cornered you and you were presented with a dual choice of sorts on how to react to the situation.
When we booted up the game for the first time, as soon as we saw Nemesis chasing us we freaked out to the point of switching off the TV and not switching it back on for the next couple of hours! It was surreal, we wouldnt go near the TV or even think of switching on the PS1... As we gathered enough willpower and courage (yep, courage, pathetic isnt it, lol) we continued playing until we were faced with the first dilemma of sorts. The situation was as follows:
Our character Jill Valentine had gone up a staircase to investigate an office for clues/items etc. The office had only one window to the right side and the only real exit was the way we came in originally. As we entered the office, the camera changed view and we saw Nemesis walking slowly up the staircase as well!!! Then the following message appeared on-screen:
"Nemesis is approaching (NO SHIT!!!) and he will reach you soon, what are you going to do?"
2 choices flashed before our terrified eyes...
1. Jump out of the window (situated quite high above the ground mind you, lol)
2.Hide in the office
After surviving the initial shock... a short, albeit panicked, verbal exchange ensued between me and my cousin :
DP: Oh man, HE is coming what the fuck should we do!!!
Thomas: Jump out of the fucking window, no question about it (screaming in horror!!!)
And so our character jumped like a madwoman with a deathwish out of the window (This stunt was performed by a certified videogame character, dont try this at home kids ...heh... not until I get my digicam ready to shoot anyway...lol). Since this was a videogame, she landed on some trash bags underneath.... I am sure if I could smell them they would smell like roses, we were that terrified of Nemesis, ha,ha,ha.
A cool compilation of some cut scenes from "Resident Evil 3 : Nemesis "accompanied by quite fitting music. The "handsome" chap starring in it, apart from the zombies and the babe in the blue tank top, is Nemesis!!! Can't believe I was actually scared to play the game because of this freak ha,ha,ha,ha!
Ok, this post has gotten already too long and I dont want to tire you anymore, but if you'd like to have a sequel to this, just for the laugh of it, just let me know. Plenty of fun stories to tell, I assure you:)
Till, next time DP out!
This last flash is pretty much a classic... It shows some cute cartoony versions of various characters of the series saying basic things about the game. For some reason this vid always makes me crack a smile... it is just cute:)
P.S.1 The Resident Evil movies have nothing to do with the games apart from the use of a couple of names present in the game. These movies are totally crap, stay away!!! You have been warned...
P.S.2 The original Resident Evil videogame was released in 1996 but I played it a couple of years after that... just some useless, stupid trivial info for you:)