Deadpoolite starring in "War of the mops"...

These past couple of weeks there has been a ridiculous alternation of sunny and rainy weather around these parts.And if sunny isn't a problem because "us Greeks feed on" sun , heavy rain is a different matter altogether. During this time of weather madness, DP's lair has been flooded not once, not twice but three times. Keep in mind that I am talking about a first floor flat seemingly "above the level of the sea", LOL! Still, it was more a case of blocked pipes and bucketloads of rain combining in a symphony of extreme flooding. The focus of this post will be on the third flooding extravaganza which seemingly transformed the place from an ordinary flat to a plumber's nightmare. Let's take things from the beginning though...

It was coming for us, I could feel it in my ready to get wet pyjamas...

It all started innocently enough... Sunday morning, sleeping with my gal, being practically submerged under the cozy duvet. It is how Sunday mornings should start in the most cliched way possible. And then it started raining... After 30 mins or so, my gal told me : "Why don't you check the rest of the flat to see if we have any inbound leaks". She muttered these words being half awake half asleep and immediately reversed to her dozy existence. I, being the macho man merc that I am , got up and went to the kitchen... As I opened my eyes and adjusted to the morning light (or lack of if you may) I witnessed the amazing sight of the sink being flooded to the brim and the kitchen floor being totally immersed in water.

The only choice available was evident, as clear as the lack of readers to this blog: "Save the cheerleader, save the world!"(sorry wrong line, "Heroes season 1" subconcious input overload, somehow creeping up on me). Let's try this once more... "Wake my girl up, look for any survivors and get out of this place"! Nah that's when zombie invasion is upon us(I know I've done my drills should such an occasion arise which let's face it is only a matter of time, lol). Better try again then... OK, here it goes: "Alert the troops and fight the good fight against impossible odds trying to keep dry in the process" . Yeah that is more like it, after all, third time is a charm...


And then it was upon us, and all we could do was get wet... What a way to kickstart your Sunday eh? LOL!

So, I woke up sleeping beauty with a "rallying the troops to their impending doom" shout and started trying to empty the sink using any available vessel. However, to my surprise (insert sarcasm...), all the pop culture training in the world didn't seem enough to do the trick. The moment I emptied each water filled vessel and returned for reloading, the level of water in the sink had miraculously rised to a new level of unacceptableness. After certain rounds of pointlessly emptying and reloading water, my gal gave up on the whole notion of "preserving dryiness" and took the main leaking pipe totally out(quick pointless thinking there gal, god I love this woman, LOL!). Heck, if we were going to see our household transform into a waterworld we would do it OUR WAY! As we were watching the house getting molested by inbound water ,we had a cup of coffee talking about how we always wanted an aquarium and that these things cost, but now fate had bestowed upon us a truely interactive one, minus the fishes. Yep, we are that cool (or stupid) sue us, LOL!

I would be a prisoner of the mop for the next 3 hours, serving my sentence with conviction, after I had gone to the toilet to take a leak. You know, water pouring from every corner of the house and all... I just had to:).

Eventually, the rain stopped and it was time for some heavy mopping, preceded by the usual "push water towards the staircase routine because it has to get out of the bloody house somehow". If there ever was a time I wished I was Spongebob Squarepants this was the one. Being made of sponge would be the only thing able to save our floor (thanks f...k it ain't made of wood). Have I mentioned that half the house had become a pond, with the living room in particular having an additional watery deposit, courtesy of the flooded front balcony? And thus, we mopped like we had never mopped before in out worthless dry lives. The whole procedure took around 3 hours of extreme sponging and mopping during which I started hallucinating that I had little kids that were water skiing into the living room shouting: " We have the coolest house ever pa!!!" while I was immersed into the created waves.

I admit, should this madness had been true, it would have made things infinite cooler since there would be some movement, fuss and heavy cursing involved but we can't have it all in life(*sigh*bummer). So, I simply continued mopping like a true greek sportsman (which doesn't really say much, but who cares). Special mention should go to my newly developed specially patented "dustpan pour move" which I used to get water out of the living room through the open window aiming at the drain pipe opening. Jackie Chan eat your heart out!!! This move eluded you for years and now I have the commercial rights to it! Martial arts comedies will never be the same without it, so start dialing Jackie (OK, I kinda of hyperventilated for a moment there, so let's change paragraph for no apparent reason, LOL!).

We would need a star plumber to fix all this up in an acceptable manner but none was to be sighted on Sunday...

After such extreme sports action which had me grasping for a pen to write my will, just in case, the merry couple of no gooders switched on the radiators to dry things up, fooled around on their laptops to restore heart rate to normal levels and then collapsed onto the bed. Yep, such a romantic Sunday morning that was... Ah the memories of... yesterday are still with me to this day:).

Then Monday morning came and the star plumber arrived in all his water crusading glory... OK, we had a couple of hiccups and he tripped a lot but he got the job done. I am a few euros short but a lot drier, bless him:).

Hope you cracked a smile or two, till next time, take care!

A post from the Bronze side of life...

The anger of my presumably abandoned readers knows no bounds... Ouch!!!

You wouldn't exactly call me a prolific blogger these days. In fact I would go as far as to say that: "I don't blog anymore...". But then again, who am I kidding, that wouldn't be true and I am too stubborn to let this glorious blog of mine die. So, regardless if this is a blog seemingly hooked on "blogsupport" until it's wacky owner gives it some TLC, it is still damn active. Now, wipe out the single tear coming down your cheek from the excitement that you won't be losing DP anytime soon, get a grip of yourselves! After all, this blog entry has to look like a proper post ,so we might as well act like it. It is a little arrangement I call "blogspiracy".

This madeup word is trademark of DP limited, whoever uses it from now on has to face the wrath of some moneysucking lawyers working for his majesty's the DP the wacky (oh crap, just remembered, I can't afford a single lawyer, ok I'll do the talking in the upcoming trial then... a sure way for the other side to win of course, LOL!).

(ALWAYS READ THE SMALLPRINT). All I would have to do would be to appear in the trial wearing ONLY this and the victory in the courtroom would be mine muhahaha!!! Oh who am I kidding, I would be doomed from day one, so I won't sue after all for the "blogspiracy" copyright. Back to the drawing board to make some quick cash then...:).

The title of my post refers to my new laptop the mighty HP Pavillion 5 - 1299dev ev plus. Now why is it 'mighty' you may ask, to which I would kindly reply : "Because it is MY laptop dammit!!! Ah, the nerve of some people:)". Now I won't tire you with technical jargon about it but it looks pretty cool I have to say. The defining feature of it aesthetically is that it is bronze in colour, thus partially the infamous title of my post. By chance or fate, on the same day, my girlfriend came with me to buy a new mobile phone since her old one has drawn its terminal breath (it has been doing so for months now so spare a used lithium battery for the old bugger will ya...?). Since my gal is all about taking beautiful quality pictures (as in pictures that I am not in then, LOL!!! Just joking people heh! ) she opted to leave her beloved -entering sarcasm- NOKIA and go with Sony Ericsson. And her "weapon of choice" was Sony Ericsson C905. And so we went to the shop to make our virtual dreams come true and feast upon the purchase of new gadgets. I dare you to find me one person in the bloggosphere that could make what is essentially 'buying stuff" sound so cool and out there. Any candidate then? Nah, didn't think so...:).Off to the actual trip to the gadget shop then...

Hello, handsome... Oh the fun we are going to have together:). Not THAT fun you amateur perverts!!! Hey, it is NEW and BRONZE,what's not to like:).

As we entered the high tech realm of credit card genocide one thing was for sure, we wouldn't leave the place empty handed. As the master tacticians of consumerism that we are, we approached our individual preys with caution. Yes, our finances would die in this place of high pricing but they wouldn't go down without a fight. As my girlfriend was surrounding the woman responsible for selling mobile phones I focused my attentions on the laptop of choice. This laptop was part of a larger deal including ΗP Officejet all-in-one, a laptop case and the ink cartridges for the aforementioned behemoth. A pretty sweet deal if I say so myself. However, the 'eyes of the hunter' noticed that the model number on the package was different from the model number on the stand and thus the dialogue with the shop assistant began:

Deadpoolite (DP): Hey, this is a different laptop than the one on the stand I was interested in!

Shop Assistant (SP): There are only minor differences (which was true but who cares I had to make him work for it, LOL!!!)

DP: But I was told that it is the same laptop (featuring my almighty "whiny call of doom" in the vocal department).

SP: This is a better overall deal.Besides you can't expect both of them to have exactly the same price, it doesn't make sense!

DP: Hey, it is YOUR pricing policy it ain't my problem (deadpan delivery I assure you).

SP: But this deal is well worth your money and the difference is minimal between the two laptops.

DP: I will be the judge of that...

SP: Do you have a problem with us then?

DP: Nope, no problem at all just making conversation...(and toying with ya but you'll never know, LOL!)

SP: ...

After all the 'foreplay' it was time to go and pay for the thing since I had enough of his pony tail crapiness. I mean what guy dons a pony tail these days ? Only washed up male rockers and porn stars... He was neither, so what was his excuse:). At least I tortured him a bit which made the outflow of cash feel a bit more tender...

Respect the tail...or NOT:). The only man that can(?) get away with a pony tail it seems. Which actually, come to think of it, proves the point that a male pony tail is simply WRONG!!! Don't do it people, stay away from the tail, go the barber's or something:).

At the meantime my girlfriend had other life changing decisions to make... The ultimate dilemma was: Black or Bronze ( ah those "earthshattering life decisions" are so cool ain't they, LOL!) since the silver /white combo she had originally picked was not available in store. "Babe..." she told me, "I will go for the Bronze one.It seems there is no escape from this colour today..." she concluded merilly. After she had paid her dues at the cashier's and took a bow of eternal commitment and devotion to her new mobile phone, we both took our Bronzastic gadgets and headed for the car. "Hey, it could be worse" I thought, "they could have everything available only in pink which is a crime punishable by death for every self-respected gadget".Mind you, I am sure my gal begs to differ on that one:).

The bronzastic phone my gal got. Looks pretty slick in all its B-R-O-N-Z-E glory (oh shut up DP will ya!!!).

Till next time, take care all!