Deadpoolite's desktop "striptease", you have been warned...

You know a thing I take great pride in is that as soon as my readers enter in Deadpool's Laughing Den they feel welcomed:) Love is permeating the air and they fall into a false sense of security right before my 'verbal bullets' make impact. Yep, I like my readers a lot , I am so busted , LOL!

You know, there are gazillion things that I could be writing about today, there are already two other drafts in my blog's archives waiting impatiently to be completed and unleashed upon my unfortunate readers. Still, as it has been the case so many times before when Zhu asks for something, Zhu shall receive:) Yep, I cant deny that woman anything (except from breakdancing on the streets naked which is a shame really but there is a little thing called "decent public behaviour" I am told, lol, sigh...). Anyway, the uber awesomeness that is Zhu asked me among other unfortunate "victims of her charm" (that would be her readers then, lol) to present to the world my desktop. This is all good harmless fun right? Well, it would be if this was some constipated fool's blog but this is Deadpool's Laughing Den people! Nothing is particularly innocuous in here.... not to mention clean and not smelly... damn that sidebar really stinks:) Anyway, before rocking your world with the uber awesomeness that is my desktop (it is a well known fact that next to the word 'modesty' in all dictionaries of human and alien creation there is a picture of me after all, lol) I have to bid you a fair warning!

"Turn your stare elsewhere my dear readers, this place is so... so.... so.... extremely cheesy I am really afraid for your well being."

This post is another crime against the fine art of blogging on my behalf... Will your torture ever end my poor readers... I feel your pain you know... I really do:)

But then again, sight challenged readers are better than no readers at all so check it out at your own risk. Hey, I 'll even throw in a health benefit plan for those persistent stunt readers (as in stuntmen, lol) among you that still visit this place despite the dangers for your sanity that lurk around every fricking corner. You never know when you are going to cross over the line to the LA- LA- LAND where people in white robes will we be expecting you with open arms... To see what a good Merc I am, I'll even give you a friendly shove to cross sooner rather than later and fulfill your long life ambition to be locked up in an Asylum cell with white walls listening endlessly to Bee Gees songs(the countless remixes of 'Staying Alive' alone will surely drive you over the edge irreversibly.... ). Hey, what are friends for, right...? LOL

The desktop to end all desktops... be a good trooper and click on it, worship its fine detail and anarchic icon placement... after all this will probably the last image you ever going to see as a sane person so you might as well give it a go and smile oblivious to the fact that the world as you know it is at an end:)

You know for the amount of hype I have unleashed upon you so far down this post, my desktop looks worryingly normal.... dear god! Do you think I caught a 'generic blogger bug' or something... I mean ME normal? Come on... this cant be happening... I still got all this endless lunacy inside me to share with the world (I'll call my 'Insanist' as long as I finish this blog entry, this has become priority number one... maintaining my insanity at all costs...lol). So my desktop has a background image of a ... a... well a squirrel really :) Nope, he isnt a killer ninja squirrel dissing justice to no gooders (if you ever wanted proof that I like Deadpool Comics this was it... I mean who else could mutter the phrase 'no gooders' without rolling from laughter on the floor laughing at the absurdity of it all, lol). So, yeah this squirrel is perfectly normal, going on his merry way, flirting all squirrel babes in sight, puffing the red dragon cheekily, smiling at the sight of nuts like he is on crack or just read my latest post. Yep, he does what squirrels do: walking, wiggling his tail, torturing Donald Duck (what do you mean 'that wasnt real!' ... you fools, Disney can't fool me, it was all inspired by real life incidents, LOL) and climbing on trees for some extreme sports extravaganza. Yep, squirrels are cool and fun and cute and a close second to Muse in the cuteness scales, simple really:) This picture was taken by a good friend of mine in London, when this squirrel just 'stalked' him to his appartment before eating some nuts there and falling into sleep for a little while... Oh that sounds so cute and cuddly, I think it was a wise choice I didnt eat anything prior to writing this post... ha,ha,ha,ha!!!

Top right you can see my music player in all its majestic wooden textured quality. Just because I beg to differ for the sake of it I am using Quintessential Player for all my audio goodness instead of the heartless monster that is Windows Media Player( I use that one for movies in .avi format though, so Bill Gates rest easy now, content that his bid to monopolize every variation of software known to man is still going strong, lol). By the way the name of the song playing is "I dont love you" by the Chemical Romance and it was frozen unintentionally (yeah right...) for your viewing pleasure,lol. You see my dear readers I really like you a lot (what do you mean you dont believe me... oh what is this world coming to where a Merc's word of honour doesn't mean squat...lol).

Guys and girls of this blog, I really like you a lot, honestly! Now come closer so I can show my appreciation to its fullest extent... just a little bit closer now... almost there...:)

As you can see the icons are aligned horizontally at the bottom of the screen... I mean this is probably the sanest sentence I'll ever write so savour the moment:) . So what do we have here starting from left to right....

First we got the "Mozilla Firefox" icon which doest need much introduction really. Let's just say that Internet Explorer is R.I.P. somewhere in my hard disk gathering dust and eating cyber flies (eeewww!!!), since I totally, absolutely, beyond any reasonable doubt hate it, LOL. Yep, Firefox is an addiction of sorts, there is something about those tabs that brings out the animal in me (either that or I had too much feta cheese during lunch, LOL). So Firefox Good, Internet Explorer Bad , I guess that would make me the Ugly then, LOL.

Next in line comes "Windows Live Messenger" which I have been using TOO OFTEN lately so it needed a shortcut icon as a budge of honour. People over at Microsoft are patting themselves on the back opening champagnes content on a job well done. Surely, if Deadpoolite is mad enough to use Windows Live Messenger the rest of humanity is doomed....:)

The we got the "Recycle Bin" ("Kados Anakiklosis" in Greek, emphasis on "Ka" and "Ki" respectively, see I can be educational as well if you just let me litter your brains with my wisecracks now and then, I think it is a fair trade, LOL). So no earth shattering icon there really...

Then comes the "Cleaning up the desktop" folder which has all the useless stuff that I cant be bothered to sort out and delete in the foreseeable futute or ever to be honest:) Next we got the "Downloaded torrents" folder which to the surprise of my male readers is not full of porn...

Yeah I know I am "sick" like that, LOL. "Future Blog Entries" has no future as a folder and will be renamed to something cooler and less misleading soon, LOL. Just some MS Word blog entries in there, the ones I didnt type in directly in blogger as this one.

Half way there people... take a breather! Have a snack, take a leak, write your will, it is all good! This post isn't going anywhere, sooner or later you' ll realise you are strangely hooked to this insanity and continue reading all the way to the bitter end:)

The "Limewire Shared" folder has few songs in it and I am not deleting it just because the name has a cool ring to it... as good as any incentive to keep a folder on your desktop if you ask me, LOL.

"Microsoft Word" is another behemoth of stereotypical PC user behaviour so I might as well shut up, hang my head down in shame and continue with this post, LOL.

The next desktop icon had a name in the mould of "DSL boring icon" so I renamed it to "Get on the NET or get bent!" just now, LOL. I hope I still remember what it is for in a couple of days time... hahahaha!

Next in line is "Picasa" which I find extremely easy to use and handle all pics in my PC. Yep, Picasa is good especially if your PC is a totally unorganized and chaotic mess as mine is... Oh 'gods of pics handling' you have been merciful to this Merc sending Picasa to answer my prayers and M and M's sacrifices! So, for that, I thank you dearly and won't shoot you for the next 5 mins (yeah, yeah I know I am a "big softie" inside...lol).

"Utorrent" is the green thing with the greek letter 'μ' dominating (that is pronounced 'mi' and not "my" as a lot of english talking people pronounce it, horrendously torturing the greek language one letter at a time, as they so often do, lol). So what it does you may ask... and to that I would reply: "Eh... have you been hiding in a cave for the last couple of years with your only companions being a special features DVD of Hudson Hawk and a CD of Paris Hilton singing live promoting her album (although judging from Britney's -words fail me- comeback, Paris may actually have a chance at a solo career with the newly established uber low standards for female singers) ? (That is just sick...)

The last icon is a shortcut for the Survival Horror game "Obscure 2" which I have recently installed. Mindless teenagers killing off and being killed off by even more mindless monstrosities, I mean what is not to like, LOL!

An image of your future, maybe, after reading this post...

Bottom left you see the word "Έναρξη" ("enarksi" with emphasis put on "E", it means beginning/start, no surprises there, lol). The rest of the toolbar is pretty much self explanatory so you can be on your merry way now content in the thought that you havent gained anything useful at all as individuals by reading this post. Your world hasnt changed for the better, things will only go down from here and you might as well blog about it and let some steam off or that Asylum cell will become a reality for ya. Yep, I will visit you often there, showering you with pleasantries like "Back off you lunatic I am going to gut you and have a barbecue with your insides" (my zombie movies addiction has to be put in check sometime soon I know, lol) or I will just say "Shut up, shut up and shut up! Nice talking to you matey!".

Yeah I know what you are all thinking right now "Love you too DP!" ha,ha,ha,ha!!!

Take care and talk to ya soon!

P.S. : Have a great month everyone! I tried to make you kickstart it with a belly laugh or two and probably failed miserably, LOL! I am a man of 'immense ambition' what can I do...:)

“Friendships” in the blogosphere: A form of virtual reality or something more?

Around two weeks ago, maybe more, one of the bloggers I visit quite regularly, The Comic Rack guy, posted some sort of farewell message to the readers of his blog. As I used to browse his blog quite often it kinda of hit me as odd at the time since he was frequently updating his blog and seemed to really dig the blogging thing(I am just presenting here my original reaction to it). Still this is not about him or anything, besides he has resumed his blogging duties so to speak, albeit posting less frequently(no biggie really, blogging is just a cool past time after all).That message though and my response to it got me thinking… the big question being “What sort of relationships, if any, are formed via blogging?”. It is a fairly wide topic I am sure but one that I would like to tackle albeit not thoroughly.

Relationships in the blogosphere are like a race in Mario Kart. Contestants are not friends or foes just people having a good time communicating (occassionally verbally blasting eachother off as well,lol). Hmm, an undeniable truth or simplicity for simplicity's sake? Read on...(what a way to lose credibility from the first paragraph by using this vid....lol).

Since I don’t want to play it like an amateur psychologist and I hate generalization for generalization’s sake I ‘ll try to present my view on the matter judging from my personal experience on blogging and my interaction with people during these 6-7 months that I have been blogging for. I remember originally I didn’t have any readers that I didn’t personally know. These were a couple of people that more or less drove me to blogging (although I am sure they couldn’t predict what sort of blogging monster they were creating at the time,lol). So, I was writing merrily my posts on various matters and occasionally logging into my blog to see if I got any comments. Truth be told I didn’t really care much at the time if anyone read my posts or not, I was just happy I could express a wacky side of myself and be creative with my humour. Plus, I wanted to exercise my written english on regular basis and I was happy I found the means to do so. Anyway, a couple of months after I began blogging, I saw the first comment of an unknown person in my blog, that was itelli to be precise. So naturally, I returned the visit and the rest is history really… How did it feel you may ask? Well, I found it surprising that someone did have a look around the blog without me having it paraded all over the web to find readers. Funny thing was, he is Greek to and it is kind of funny for two Greeks to communicate in the english language, lol. The interaction with itelli gave me an insight on to what blogging is capable of as a mean of communication and human interaction. Ok, ok you don’t really know the other person at least not in the conventional sense but you get glimpses and glances into his/her psyche just by reading the posts. Furthermore, a lot of people seem to really enjoy the freedom of expression that a blog provides ridden from the confines dictated by the system of rules that determine our behaviour in public places and day to day interaction with other individuals. People seem to genuinely be “more themselves” when blogging without the fear of rejection from others or the possibility that they are going to be labelled as odd if they tackle a subject deemed too deep or even plain weird for every day life terms. So, ok then, we got some people that have at least some common sense of humour and they do agree on a couple of life principles but does that elevate them to any sort of friendship status?

How on earth do I expect to be taken seriously when posting pics like this one...oh yeah that's right, I don't:)

It is a difficult question indeed… If you define friend as someone that you know personally for years, he (or she) has proved himself to be worthy of your trust and has personality traits that you appreciate greatly, then blogging is not a place for friends, just for random acquaintances of people’s echoes of their personalities. However, come to think of it what is really friendship these days? This is probably the one era in human history when people have so many ways of communicating yet they feel more alone than ever. How many times in clubs, cafeterias, wherever really, have I not noticed people restrained to express any real emotion or intent of it towards others, in the fear of rejection and judging always from past experiences. Sometimes, as an outside observer you can see a guy and a woman really liking each other still no one makes the first step. And even when that first step is made how truthful to their real selves is the interaction between them I wonder… So if future friendships/relationships are constructed on semi-hypocritical foundations, that is not really particularly enticing is it… At least with blogging people tend to be more themselves straight away or at least present an idealised version of themselves (and no Deadpoolite is not an ideal version of me, god forbid, but maybe in an ideal word where everything would be fun, he would be, lol) without the fear of having fingers pointed at them like they are the ones sticking out like a sore thumb. So, is it really too far fetched calling “friends”, people that you barely know but have shown a lot of their inner selves to you through their writing? Questions raising even more questions it seems and no definite answers…

Ok then, blogging and human interaction via it is no laughing matter...ahem... yeah right... Oh for crying out loud I am with kitten on this one, laugh as much as you can, you'll be healthier that way (this social message was brought to you by DP the friendly Merc with a mouth and a sense of humour to boot... yessir!!!)

So, time to conclude this little pseudophilosophical rant and try to come up with some sort of amateurish assessment about the issue. Do I really consider the people I interact with via blogging friends? I wouldn’t trust them with my innermost secrets or say anything too intimate at least not without masking it with some sort of funny protective veil thus making it more impersonal. I do not know them enough to have that sort of relationship but as with all things the verdict is still out on that one, as time passes and things evolve… Still, at the other end of the spectrum, I do have a certain fondness for them. I realise we have something major in common which is pretty unique. Day in day out we feel the need to share pieces of our soul regardless how big or miniscule they may be. It can be a detail in our life, something that made us laugh, something that troubled us and we don’t want to share with anyone we are too intimate with. That is really something I reckon… so enough with the labels already, friends or no friends whatever you call it we have something beautiful in common. Maybe it will last for months, maybe for years, maybe it will end tomorrow, either way it is a beautiful ride through the blogosphere, never a dull moment and I am glad I made the acquaintance of so many interesting and diverse people.

So bloggers such as ourselves are a merry little lot... all caddly and polite... no backstabbing, no fighting whatsoever... yeah right... bring on the blogging mayhem, I wouldn't have it any other way! Enjoy the vid:)

Ok, then that is that… more philosophy in the next millennium or so, can’t take it , lol

P.S. One think is for sure, I ‘ve been reading Shan ‘s blog for way too long ha,ha,ha,ha… blame him and his eternal existential dilemmas for this outburst of philosophical mumbo jumbo on my behalf, yes Shan you rock and you know it ! ("Mumbo jumbo…" is that even a proper word, lol, oh madness sweet madness, good to have you back on-board, lol)

In the face of A(d)trocity : Looking behind the commercials' curtains...

I really got Zhu to thank for this blog entry... well her and my insanity... Anyway I was just thinking about TV commercials and how out of touch they are with what we call real life. I' ll present some examples to illustrate my case (no joke so far... man I must be sick...) :

I came across this ad by accident on youtube and I just had to use it...


1) Cleaning Products

A typical ad would go something like this...

A sexy woman, cleaning the toilet, tap dancing merrily with her mop, smiling all the time and combing her hair using her freshly cleaned toilet tiles as a mirror. The accompanying music would be cheerful and pop orientated and all would seem well in the kingdom of house dirt when you got product X as your ally. What could possibly go wrong?

The real life...

A woman looking exhausted and pissed off, is scrubbing the toilet tiles cursing her luck that she didnt marry a man rich enough to buy her a servant or an illegal immigrant(racist bitch... lol) to do her biding. After all, in an ideal world, she could go out shopping with an unlimited credit card or shag her way in the world with her newly acquired, preferrably young, secret lover.






There was a Kider chocolate bar stashed in there somewhere but I couldnt care less, lol!



2)Family snacks

The typical ad...

One happy family joins once more the family table laughing hysterically at dad's crap jokes. The woman is superfit despite having seemingly given birth to 4 children and her husband seems to love her the same as the very first day he laid eyes on her. The children look equally happy just to laugh uncontrollably and to keep eating the newly released snack in its "ultra light/all the taste" edition.

The Real life...

Dad is not around since he is working his ass off to provide for his 4 kids. He used to whine about his ignorance about birth control strategies and "how the fuck did this happen" but now his brain is too numb to actually think about anything else than work. The mother, who is also working herself, has let herself go a little bit since balancing personal life and career is an on-going struggle. The kids/teenagers are "videogaming" their passage through the world or thinking about sex more and more with every passing day. The whole family eats the miserable snack that is half the size of what it looked like on TV, because "Mom doesnt have the time to cook" or "kids hate their vegetables".






No article is ever complete without a bit of DP goodness, lol!


3)Toys


The TV ad...

Parents have seemingly unlimited funds for kids' toys so they can buy all the versions of the same toy (as in all colours, lol) without giving it a second thought. Dad is ecstatic spending money for his children's toys and the wife is so happy that she starts break dancing in the middle of the toy megastore just to show the world that buying toys for your kids can be cool. The kids attack the shop shelves grabbing everything from a new games console to the secret underwear of the Deadpool action figure. It is a good life for a kid and they feast upon it with unshamed greed...

Real life or something like it...

The parents are counting the money to see if they have enough to get by for the month since bills are "no toying matter". The dad secretly hopes that there is going to be enough money in his Christmass bonus to squeeze some of it out to buy toys for his kids. The children are distraught, the TV doesnt stop playing in the household and they are bombarded with images of cool toys on daily basis. Occassionally, they are whining at their parents to buy them new toys but they know they are fighting a lost cause. If they play videogames there is always piracy or utorrent while traditional toys are bought a couple of years after their original release "if the interest is still there".







I have mixed feelings about this one... I find it both disturbing and funny at the same time... you got to love the guy's reaction!



4)Cosmetics for man/woman

The TV ad...

If it is about a guy, using the right deodorant or cologne can make all the difference in the world in the cruel world of dating. He just sprays himself more and more with the product of choice, heck he may even dive in a pool filled with the liquid product instead of water. Being in the vicinity of women suddenly becomes a certainty of potential sex, since women cant restrain themselves and just want to f.... his brains out, the damn smell of product X is that maddening for the seemingly "primitive" female mind.
In similar vein, if product X is a woman orientated cosmetic , things become dangerous for the male species. The woman smells, looks so nice that all male brain functioning ceases to exist. Drivers crash their cars onto lampposts , passersby fall into sewer holes and so on, so forth. Every male in the vicinity is turned into a mindless drone, a zombie of testosterone trapped into the web of the ideal woman X, wearing the product of choice... the "little head" has finally taken over absolute male body control over the "big head"...


Life as it is...

Men are using the product as part of their routine. Every day they keep cursing in front of the mirror pissed off by the pointlessly neverending shaving ordeal. A blind cut here, a mistimed move of the razor there and their face skin becomes a potentially evolving jigsaw puzzle. Product X is brought into the forefront and its use seemingly rectifies the "mistake" albeit dealing a nice painful touch in the process of doing so (maybe next time sulphuric acid will be better for skin treatment,lol). As for deodorants, they are there to keep the sweat patches of men's armpits (on shirts) at bay so that maybe, just maybe that female co-worker they are longing for want flee in disgust for the billionth time. Sweating is not eliminated really just redirected to less conspicuous parts of the body...

Women wear their cosmetics on daily basis, falling into a fake sense of confidence about their appearence. After all "if Jessica Biel can pull it off so can we" they think. So, really early in the morning, at least an hour before even starting considering to go to work, some women wake up (at least they try to, lol) and start patching things up in front of the mirror. Vanity has prevailed and the ever increasing racism/pressure of highly photo-shopped babes on the covers of men and fashion magazines provides the necessary motivation to shake off that last sleepy feeling and get on with "what needs to be done". It doesnt matter that female cosmetics are expensive or even dangerous for the female skin in the long-term. All that matters is that each woman becomes "a queen without a kingdom" for the day and if that means sidelining that pesky female co-worker in the looks department, then even better...




One of the coolest ads... ever, period!


5)Cars and technology


In the ads...

A guy drives like mad through the traffic, he overtakes anyone in his way, goes up mountains, heck he may even make it to outer space if the car kicks in into the 5th gear.... There is seeminlgy no concern about traffic rules and an apparently unlimited supply of fuel makes proceedings even cooler. The car becomes a symbol of male domination and an extension of a guy's sex mojo. Sexy women are attracted to the car like bees to honey and all is well in the planet of driving on speed.... the man content for his wise choice to buy that particular car model drives into the CG sunset like a mad cowboy rider without the cigar....


And then there is real life...

The constant necessity of gasoline and petrol for an acceptable price has become priority number one. It has become too expensive and the predictions for traditional fuel availability in the future can truely put a new car owner to grief. Suddenly, going from point A to point B using the car has become a crucial life dilemma. Plus, the driver needs to guard the contents of his fuel tank day and night patrolling outside his car dealing nasty looks to all passersby so that "they dont get any funny fuel looting ideas". Once the decision to move the car from the parking spot (the only parking spot available in miles,lol) has been made, the driver is faced with the challenges of modern "traffic heavy" city streets. Getting to work on time, co-existing with the other drivers, avoiding any sort of accident or run-in with a traffic warden becomes an art-form by itself. Finally , when the guy returns back to his place demolished from the ordeals of the day (of which driving is a great part), he looks at his car for the last time thinking "Way to go trooper, I love your guts, you and me will take over the world some day". Oh, men and their cars, an on-going love relationship without the "talk back feature" that a woman provides in abundance...


As I switch off the TV, brain melting from the neverending onslaught of ads I head to my bed with only one thought in mind "Feel proud about yourself, the little silly box called TV hasnt killed of your dreams just yet". In the comfort of that thought, I slip into bed, thinking how I am going to win over that blonde I cant get out of my head for the past few days... sleep takes over and everything becomes a distant memory of a day long forgotten....


Take care all!

Here are two of my favourite ads of all time, the first has Bruce Campbell in it(nuff said) and the other is ace if you are a football fan (that is "soccer" in the US, such a gay term,lol) but funny as well if you are not. Enjoy!

Flirting with danger (actually with women but it is the same thing more or less...)

You know I am a sucker for a good romance. I am not the Meg Ryan type of guy (after all I am insane but not THAT insane, lol) but you know every now and then there comes a person of the opposite sex that actually interests me and not purely in the "eye candy" side of things. There is such a person at the moment so I am kinda of formulating the right way to go about it. In the process of things I considered all avenues possible but as it usually happens with things when you think about them too much you start off with one thing and you end up with something totally different. So I' ll just put my flirting prowess on standby for the time being and share with you thoughts on how a man approaches a woman and gets his arse kicked every single time, lol!

"Damn it woman I just wanted to knock you out on a date...

Get back here!"

1)The Neaderdal approach : Back in the days of the cavemen things were so simple. Flirting was as simple as "I got the wooden stick, I see the woman I like, I bump her on the head, I let loose some incomprehensible war cry and then grab the object of my desire by the hair and drag her to the cave". Damn those were the good times for men you know, you could be the hunter of the game and you could actually get away with it! Good old days... If you followed this approach today you would end up in a prison cell for armed assault with a man called Mitsos that hadnt showered since his baptism...

"Face it babe you've hit the jackpot
with me, you just dont know it yet!"

2)The Cocky approach : Since "armed flirting" is out of the question, the flirting ingenuity of man evolved into a whole different beast. Gone are the actual weapons, welcome the verbal weapons. A man oozing with confidence to the point of cockiness, approaching a woman and talking to her like she is already his or implying that there are plenty more of women in the pipeline for him if she refuses him. Ah you got to love us men so damn predictable, no wonder women play us in their little pinky finger. Usually these are the cases of men that want to get laid as soon as possible with whoever possible and they follow the golden rule of "Statistically speaking if I flirt every woman on site, one of them is eventually going to sleep with me". As far as flirt strategies are concerned as simple as they come really...

"I 'll climb the staircase to your heart
me and my stupid haircut, yeah babe!"

3)The Romantic approach : "Isnt the sky beautiful, arent the birds singing lovely, oh your eyes I am so lost in those dark blue seas of love (goddamn cant continue with this sweetalk I feel like a damn teddy bear with hearts on it....). This guy knows what women want, he has seen the rom coms starring Hugh Grant, Sandra Bullock and Meg Ryan and he actually believes these things happen every day! Oh well, nothing wrong being romantic I suppose but too much of it and you 'll end up like those poor actors(poor as in personal acting suffering not money,lol) in soap operas who end up saying lines like : " Loren I cant live without you, without the warmth of your body, the aroma of your hair and the kicking of your feet up my ass when we sleep" ...

" I see you are impressed by
the wealth of my emotions..."

4)The Show off approach: This approach projects the message " I got the money and I got the moves, give me some sugar baby". All you need to do is focus on one strong selling point. Be it the high income, your sculptured biceps or a chin made in heaven , anything goes as long as it makes the woman interested in you with minimal verbal effort. Nothing wrong with that and for people with ridiculous money or adonic bodies it works like a charm. For the rest of the world, it is a matter of postponing the inevitable of your love interest finding out that you may got a fancy car but you spend all your money on it and you got no money left...Buying that essential second pair of underwear is out of the question then , lol. Still, this formula does get you laid at least twice, it seems, before the illusion wears off eventually,lol.

"Man I cant take it anymore... If I hear one more time about
how sweet Brad Pitt's ass is and women accessorizing
I am going to blow my brains up!"

5)The Guy in touch with his feminine side (also called the metrosexual approach just because it sounds cooler,lol) approach: This take on flirting presents you to women as a guy deeply concerned with them and their problems. You show you actually care of the subjects they talk about and you are there for them initially as a friend. You hang out with lots of them and you try to be willingly "the sheep in their pack of wolves" so to speak. This strategy has the additional risk of you being perceived as gay since you dont project "Alpa-male greatness" in your every move or gesture, plus you hangout with women for "no apparent reason" to the other males' eyes. When it works though, this approach usually ends up in something meaningful and at least ressembling a proper relationship since a man willing to listen about nonsense like "cosmetics, clothes and accessorizing" is a man send from heaven for every woman...

I am sure that there are plenty more approaches and ways to go about it but I really cant be bothered any more to think about it. Now about my own little flirting agenda, hmmmm, which way should I go about it...oh the hell with it "where is my wooden stick?"

Till next time, Deadpoolite signing off...

Marvel Comics movies, friend or foe?

I decided to write this little piece about the ongoing pehnomenon of the last 5 years or so. I am talking about the behemoth of movie creation that is called "the Marvel Comics movie".
You know the drill, get a comic book character dress him in a fancy hollywood suit and present him with a ribbon to the movie audiences that otherwise wouldnt give a toss about him/her. In an era where Hollywood is dying for inspiration (or at least that is what executives say) the pages of comic books have become the new screenplays. So how do those movies fare I wonder, let's see some pros and cons :




Stan Lee (old guy,creator of spiderman) : "Move out of the way Spiderman here comes Stan "the man" Lee"
Spiderman : "You know Stan, technically this written piece is dedicated to me".
Stan Lee : "Shut up Spidey! All I need is a rubber to erase you out of existence!"
Spiderman : "Ok Stan...Whatever you say...You are da man! (senile old fool...)"


Spiderman:Oh, good old Peter Parker. Still fighting the good fight for a bunch of New Yorkers that hates and loathes him. How has the silver screen treated him I wonder...

The good : The costume has remained unchanged from the classic comic book look, he is always the average joe fighting the good fight. MJ is always there to love him and hug him and and... despite him being an absolute dork. Still you cant fight it, you root for the guy he is so similar to you anyway (well if you take out the fact that he sticks to walls and shoots webs out of his ass, sorry hands, that is, lol)

The bad : For some reason, he constantly loses his mask all the time(in 3 movies now he always lost it or got it torn apart at some point, kind of stupid really). I mean by now half of New York knows who Spiderman is so why bother with the secret identity thing. MJ is getting progressively whinier with each new installment and she is a constant source of trouble. 3 movies havε passed, 3 times she was abducted, 3 times she needed saving, it's all getting a bit tedious. And a note to Sam Raimi, I like the 3rd movie but it should have really been Spiderman vs Venom all the way. Why couldnt you see that...

...and the ugly: Well we reached the third movie. It is time to lose some heat and let the franchise catch its breath. Unfortunately, this wont be happening because Spidey makes ridiculous money at the box office so there will be a Spiderman 4 movie sooner than necessary.



Daredevil : "Strange my radar sense doesnt pick up a movie sequel in the horizon.It must be something I ate..."

Daredevil : He is not one of the more mainstream properties marvel comics has but he is considered one of the coolest characters by Marvel Comics fans. Eventually, he got his own movie....

The good: Daredevil, daredevil in dark alleys and daredevil being the coolest blind person alive ( I always liked that aspect of the character since it sends a strong message about "people with disabilities really being people with special abilities". Bullseye is so over the top, it is fun. And Jennifer Garner, yammy..!

The bad: The editing was too quick, the movie was (literally) too dark and there was just something wrong about Ben Affleck grinning like a fool all the time. "You know Ben this wasnt an Axe commercial it was an actual M-O-V-I-E !". The final fight with Kingpin was a joke and probably the shortest fight in the history of good guy/bad guy fights.

...and the ugly : I dont see another movie happening soon since box office dictates otherwise. It is sad since Daredevil is one of the most "human" characters that Marvel Comics has created and I would have liked them to give it another shot...



Hulk : "Hulk wants sequel. Hulk's next movie will smash the box office....Puny humans"

The Hulk : The green goliath. The unstoppable destruction machine. The dumbest superhero? ever made. Eventually he got his own movie but how was it...

The good : Ang Lee (the director) tried something really ambitious and very intelligent. He attempted to make a proper movie about a fictional character. It was humane, it was smart, it had the best editing I've ever seen. Eric Bana was ace as Bruce Banner and Jennifer Connely's eyes were there to lure us, males, once again. To this day I watch this movie and I cant decide if it is a failed experiment or the work of a genius (I am leaning more towards the latter myself).

The bad : This movie was too intelligent for the average audience and too DAMN intelligent for the popcorn generation of movie goers. Most people wanted to see Hulk smashing shit for 2 hours and couldnt care less about anything else. Nick Nolte was also so nuts in this movie. I mean he was so out of there that I think he could easily take Hulk on and beat him with his little finger,lol.

...and the ugly: The movie tanked commercially, so there wont be a direct sequel to this. I guess I am just disappointed that there isnt a corner in the movie market for an intelligent blockbuster (The Hulk is as close as it has come in my opinion). This isnt necessarily a bad thing since the new Hulk movie has Ed Norton and Liv Tyler in it and focuses on a more traditional style of Hulk story , Bruce Banner on the run. Still, I would have liked to see the original cast reprising their roles...



Blade : "Man, I tell you I am blessed.I am black, I wear dark shades and I feature in this really dark photo. Noone can see me blush with shame for the utter mess that Blade : Trinity was..."

Blade: A really C-list character of Marvel Comics showed the way for comic book movies. You better believe it...

The good : Wesley Snipes is Blade. Never has an actor identified so much with a lead character in this type of movie. It is uncanny I am telling you. The 2 first movies were dark enough to be gritty, fun enough to be good action movies, cool enough to justify repeated viewings. And then...

The bad: ...came the 3rd movie. Except from the uber sexy Jessica Biel (Jessica Biel as in the woman not as in the actress if you catch my drift,lol), this movie was shit. Vampire poodles anyone... Nuff said. This was crap and not even its kickass soundtrack could save it. Wesley Snipes was bored, if not asleep through out, the Dracula was a boy band reject and Kevin Reynolds was just annoying...

...and the ugly: The 3rd movie was directed from the guy who wrote the two previous movies and Batman begins, David Goyer. It is still a mystery to this day how did the guy who essentially expertly "created" the Blade character for the silver screen misfired so badly in the only movie he had total control of. Oh well, anyone is untitled to a bad day at the office I guess,lol.



Electra : "I am sexy and I am Greek. I made a movie once in Hollywood, still trying to forget that one."


Electra : The first superhero of greek origin on celluloid (hooray!). Jennifer Garner in the lead role (double hooray and a backflip for that one). So was it any good?

The Good: Jennifer Garner and... Jennifer Garner (the woman Jennifer Garner). Hey wait a minute I already said that. Well there is nothing else to it really,lol. Some originally conceived bad guys with visually cool powers.

The Bad: The kid ninja or whatever that girl was....I cant really blame Jennifer Garner for this utter crap, I dont think even Meryl Stryp could have saved this movie from disaster (although to be honest I am pretty sure by this point Meryl Stryp can save ANY movie from disaster, she is the ultimate female super-actress after all). The special effects were crap, Jennifer Garner was like a zombie throughout( I almost expected her to grin like her husband Ben Affleck but she preferred the sleep walking approach,lol). The story was bad, the bad guys were bad (ok that actually sounds like a copliment but trust me... it isnt,lol). Essentially what could go wrong went wrong...

...and the ugly : Well not Jennifer Garner for sure,lol. This whole movie is ugly, ugly as sin I might add.



Ghost Rider : " I heard global warming would set us all on fire eventually but this is ridiculous!"


Ghost Rider : Although never an A-list character in the Marvel Universe, he is probably by far the coolest looking character. I mean a guy with a flaming skull riding a bike, spreading justice to the wicked. It doesnt get much cooler than that...

The good : First things first, I like Eva Mendes a lot (you got to love those curves man,lol). Now that this is out of the way let's talk about the movie. Nicolas Cage was an odd choice (too old for the role) but due to some sort of miracle he actually pulled it off (to the best of his ability) not being his usual nutty over the top self. Eva Mendes would look gorgeous even if she wore a potato sack and the Ghost Rider special effects are unbelievably cool. Still...

The bad: I think Cage was miscast.He does the best he can but the role just doesnt suit him. Eva Mendes doesnt have anything to do in the movie ( and no skimpy outfits for her how criminal is that...lol). The bad guys make the ones in the Electra movie look good and that says a lot. Never have I seen such short,boring, uneventful good guy/bad guy fights. The movie is overall very slowly paced, so I guess insomniacs will love it.

...and the ugly : What could have been a top looking movie of manic action ended up an utterly boring affair. A good premise wasted by a director with limited vision. Ok, it was only a popcorn movie but it could have been a way cooler poprcorn movie (you know with extra sizzling butter and all,lol)



Wolverine : "Hey guys does my butt look fat in this outfit?"
Other X-men: "Yep"
Wolverine : " I knew I spend too much time seating on my ass blogging about nonsense..."
Other X-men: "You are not alone there..."

X-men : The best comic book allegory (dont worry folks I am not getting all philosophical on you using "literate" words, so put your holly water and crosses away for the time being,lol) for social racism and the burden of someone being "different" from the rest. The premise was there but what about the movies...

The good: The first movie did a lot with a minimal budget and put the comic book movie on the map with mainstream movie goers. Suddenly, it was ok to "like" a comic book movie and you werent regarded as some sort of weird geek if you talked about how badass Wolverine was (let's face it he is badass, not as badass as Deadpool of course,lol). The second movie was phenomenally good in all respects, essentially bigger and better and regarded by a lot of people as the best comic book movie ever. Then came the beast of the third movie(cool special effects)...

The bad: The third movie is kind of hard to judge. The change of direction from Brian Singer to Brett Ratner is like going from being a Transformers fan to being a Smurfs hardcore fan. Still the mainstream audience loved it because it was accessible and fast with lots of action and no "real" dialogue between the characters. People that had more expectations of it hated it with passion though. I mean lead characters die left and right with no emotional impact to anyone, the dialogue is more cheesy than acceptable and Wolverine behaves like some twisted castrated version of him. He just isnt him and that ladies and gentlement is unacceptable by the equally nuts Deadpoolite,lol.

...and the ugly: Where does the franchise go after this. There are so many characters left to show on the silver screen so the potential is there. The thing is if the movie producers are going to go with the flow of the third movie then there is a chance of alienating the comic book fans who are the heart and blood of this franchise(and all franchises to be honest). Can such a risk be taken..? (who cares...I just wanted to write something that sounded really dark and ominous,lol)



Deadpool : " I wonder if I am a bit UNDERarmed for the Deadpool movie premiere ...They'd better give me an Oscar as well, I dont carry all these guns just for show you know..."

Lastly there is the DEADPOOL movie (not really but there are some rumours that it is going to be made and I cant wait for it...probably the only person that is going to watch it as well,lol)

I think I havent forgotten any other movie based on Marvel Comics creations so lets call it a day and go eat a sandwich or something. Hey, Deadpoolite needs to eat and get the energy to drive the world insane. It is a dirty job but someone has to do it,lol.


Take care all!

p.s. "Merc" is short for "Mercenary" as in "soldier for hire" for the uninitiated among you.