Music in videogames can be quite addictive...come on give it a go...

I was playing this videogame the other day, called "Tenchu : Shadow Assasins" on the Nintendo Wii. I am a big fan of the series although the quality of the games doesn't always justify it.The game takes place in feudal Japan where you are a Ninja trying to keep peace by any means necessary (yep, that would be offing opponents in excessively gruesome ways, yammy!!!). As I was ready to begin a level where rain and thunder were prominent, an amazing music theme kicked in that caught me totally by surprise... It is by far one of the coolest pieces of music I've listened to recently, thus the idea of sharing this with you came to mind. In fact, this idea evolved into posting several memorable videogame tunes in the blog, since this is music that is not accessible to non-gamers and doesn't exist outside the realm of gaming, except from some limited edition CDs if at all.

Let's kickstart the videogame music mayhem then, you never know you may actually listen to something you like...



Tenchu: Shadow Assasins , the theme is called "Rain"simply outstanding in my book!

The Silent Hill series is a horror videogame series favouring atmosphere over "peak-a-boo" scares. This series is renowned for its amazing musical scores created by Akira Yamaoka. There are a lot of tunes I like from this series of games but if I HAD to pick one, it would be the following...


This is from Silent Hill 3 and this video depicts the main character of the game singing the song, which is equally cool and creepy:).

Moving on to more upbeat tunes, there is this little boxing (sort of) game called Punch Out , released for the Nintendo Wii. The game is fun and simple but requires killer reflexes so it is an offering for gamers that can take some serious punishment first prior to beating the game. The main theme of the game is so catchy, I sincerely struggled to get it out of my head:). Maybe it has that Rocky movie essence going about it that makes all "testosterone infused" individuals excited, who knows...



I find this theme really uplifting for some reason. A lot of people have said that it works great as workout companion music! Who am I to argue:).

Time to get seriously spy-tastic on your eardrums now! The game series is Metal Gear Solid and it has more dialogue than any immortal TV soap opera out there. Seriously, with each new iteration of the franchise you seem to watch more and play less... "Talk, talk and more talk" as a good friend of mine had pointed out repeteadly in the past. Still beyond the conspiracy talk (yawn...) there are high production values involved, including great OSTs from esteemed Hollywood composer Harry Gregson Williams. Lots of tunes to choose but the following from the first game I played has just stuck more than the rest...


At least I found this in the sound quality I wanted, the gods of youtube were merciful this time:).

And last but not least (drums rolling...) Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg!!! Say this 3 times fast now(or not)! Yes, it sounds absolutely ridiculous it is great cheesy cheeky fun and it involves a kid dressed in a rooster suit rolling eggs to kick enemies ass. And then there is the main theme which is equal measures cute and annoying and I was humming it throughout the game several years ago...


Yep, it has to be seen to be believed, LOL .I deliberately chose a so and so volume version of this, since it can be either extremely addictive or extremely annoying!

And this theme brings us to the end of this peculiar post. The moment just came and gone. I really don't know if those sorts of posts are enjoyable but who knows maybe if they are, one more could creep up on you at some point (now THAT was a threat if I ever heard one...).

Till next time, take care all!

Dead Rising, oh save system where art thou?

Sales to die for...

As you all probably know I am an avid videogamer: 1) When the mood strikes me, 2) When I got the time, 3) Can't remember what I wanted to write in spot 3 but you are still reading this, so you probably have way too much free time in your hands anyway. In all my time spent inside videogaming worlds of various quality and sense ("sense?" What was that all about? A momentary involentarily lapse into logic it seems... hmmm worrying isn't it...)there is one unanimous concept that makes a smile light my nearly perfect face ('nearly' just because I am modest you see): "Killing zombies is good!". I mean what is not to like: "They are dumb, they attack me so it is definitely self defense and they are already dead! Thus, finishing them off is practically an act of mercy since I essentially return them back 'home' being the gaming humanitarian that I am" . If you have ever heard a more wacky rationalization of videogaming on-screen violence I will eat M and Ms until I burst or take their colour (which would make my life highly unpleasant or full of potential and opportunity respectively, LOL! I am a man of ambition after all... LOL!). Now, before you lose what little sense you got left in you dear readers, I will move in for the kil.... I mean I will proceed to the (preferrably undead) meat of this post.

Ah, my adoring blogging fans... Can't wait to read the rest of the post... Who would have thought they would reach such extremes to 'eat' my words of wacky wisdom:).

Once upon a time there was a game called "Dead Rising" and let me tell you it wasn't about impotent old geezers that were feasting on tons of Viagra and had their "deads" "up" and looking for "action"(which would make for a true survival horror game conceptually, come to think of it, LOL!). This game was about zombies in a Shopping Mall, much like the 'Dawn of the Dead' movie(and I am talking about the old movie where zombies were overtaken by turtles speedwise and not about the recent remake where zombies could easily outrun Usain Bolt ). The story of the game begins with the player taking control of the photojournalist Frank West (what a rare and strange name... NOT!). The guy lands in the middle of a zombie infested Mall and the objective is to survive in the place for 3 days until the pilot comes back to pick him up. In the meantime, Frank's "diet of choice" is simple: find out what is going on, take pictures of anything remotely interesting or not and mow down zombies using anything he can get his hands on (excluding killer stileto heels ladies, some "weapons" are better left untouched my male hands...) in the store!!! Now, conceptually this game is a wannabe zombie killer's wet dream of sorts since your choice of weapons include things like a lawnmower machine, chainsaws, swords, bowling balls, CDs and anything you can get your hands on. Literally, if you can pick something up, it can kill a zombie somehow. So then, the game is cool for satisfying the amateur sadist that we all have deep within (or is that just me... damn... here I come baring my insane soul to the masses once more, LOL!).

A fine specimen of the deranged gallery of human psychos that had holed up in the Mall during the zombie outbreak... Ah, the shopping mall, such a warm and welcoming place...:).

So, now that I have established that the game is an orgy of twisted fun let's see where it all went downhill. And when I say downhill, I mean lower than an undead's dress sense and self esteem and that is officially as LOW as it gets!!! The game's main story is structured as case files much like the episodes of a TV series where certain events need to be completed by a certain time limit. If time permits, there are lots of side missions to keep busy (all of them suitably bloody I assure ya, so this is no game for the vegetarians among you). The problem is that the time frame is too strict and if you fail to finish one scenario by the required time the game ends... And let me tell you all the horror I had unleashed as a progressively deranged Frank West in the Mall hadn't prepared me for the horror I was about to face near the end of the game. After making my way through the hordes of the undead via impeccable stylish morally ambiguous ways, and near the completion of the game, I beat the final bad guy and I was on my way to watch the finale... Only, it didn't happen... I had passed the time limit by a fuck.... up minute so the game ended abruptly!!! Let me tell you how that feels after a total sum of 12-15 hours of gaming... IT SUCKS!!! My gamepad fell on the floor, followed by my jaw and the rest of me followed soon after... If I ever structurally resembled one of the undead this was the time... After being pieced together by my half bepuzzled, half bemused girlfriend I realised that I had to replay the WHOLE GAME to reach the finale... And all of this because dear frigging CAPCOM(as in the company who made the game...) had placed only one save slot in the game, so if that was fucked... you were fucked... which makes for a neat little fucked up package come to think of it....

The "betrayal" of the game's save system was too much to bare. So I kinda lost my head...:). That was just a flesh wound in my videogaming psyche though, soon I would be back, head attached and all, h(a)ngry for more:).

Having avoided the stroke from the realization that I wasted 12-15 hours of my life playing a game with the most ridiculous save system ever, I restarted the game and marched through the undead(literally THROUGH the undead I assure you...LOL!) with a fury that the popculture universe hasn't seen since the rage of avid Star Wars fans towards Jar Jar Binks back in the days of the "Phantom Menace" (and I heard that was pretty bad... or so the geek legend says, hahaha). After around 10 hours I finished the game getting one of the crappiest finales available but that didn't matter... I had prevailed VS the twisted corporal stupidity of a videogame developer that made a really good videogame with ONE KILLER FLAW... A save system so badly designed, a zombie would have made a better job creating it for sure... As I put my gamepad on the floor, I grinned with glee. The Deadpoolite VS Capcom contest had ended with DP the winner, it was no contest really:). With those final thoughts I passed out, equally affected by the realization of my stupidity in persisting with this game and pure kinky exhaustion... It wouldn't be the first time and it definitely won't be the last...


And here comes the sequel... better fix that save system Capcom...or else:).

Hope you cracked a smile or two with this twisted tale of videogaming madness:).

Till next time, take care all!

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (Duel of the fates-Part 3 of 3)

For the ones among you not in the know, this is the final part of a trilogy of posts, so you might as well check the previous parts to get the complete picture. If you wish to do so, just click the links below:

Part 1

Part 2


On with the festivities of part 3 then...

The shop assistant stared at me for a second like a man wanting to confess a really dark secret. He eyed my priced possession with dismay before unleashing his verbal spikes towards my way... The following conversation ensued between a consumer in a shopping frenzy and a shop assistant knowing what is what...:

Shop Assistant (SA) : Is that the Xbox360 that goes for 299 Euros?

Deadpoolite (DP) : Xbox360 proud owner reporting for duty, sir, yes sir!

SA: Not so fast son... there is something you should know about this particular Xbox360...

DP: Is it really an Xbox with an Xbox360 faceplate ? Speak man, speak or silence forever!!!

SA: The reason that this Xbox360 is priced so cheaply is because it has no controller bundled with it!

DP (in a state of shock): What do you mean it has no controller in the package? It states it clearly on the box that it has one inside!

SA: Some malakas forced the box open and got the controller out so we had to price it this cheaply to sell it... Besides, information printed on boxes is highly overrated to begin with...

DP (infuriated): And when were you planning to tell me this exactly? After I got home and opened the damn box!!! I can pay for a separate controller but I am pissed off now and since decapitating you won't fix my mood, I am putting this back to its shelf!!!

SA(he could't care less): Okkkk....

I wish my "stalker" was as cute as Ayame from the Tenchu game series but no such luck... It was just another "horny" gamer waiting for his chance to taste some next gen gaming goodness. Little did he know of how things would eventually turn out for him...:)

As I was approaching the shelf with my now ex-possession(?) in hand, thinking what nasty things I could do to the shop assistant while in the electronics section of the store, I caught a glimpse of a threatening shadow approaching cautiously behind me. It was another customer that had smelt "blood in the air" or more like the smell of a seriously underpriced Xbox360 bundled with a killer game. As I put the box back to its shelf I couldnt let it go! I really wanted to find the motivation to pick it up, buy the damn controller and get out of that place. But "principle is principle", so I just stood there half kneeling before it, thinking what to do. As I was pondering the fate of this purchase, the shadow that was stalking me took shape in the form of a 20+ year old. The shop assistant saw potential and started marketing the Xbox360 to the other guy, while telling me:

SA: So are you going to buy it or what?

DP: Do you find it professional that you advertise a product and it is half opened?

SA: Look I talked to you in greek alright, you understand greek right? Take it or leave it!

DP: Look malakas!!! I am a fucking paying customer here, so you might as well show me some more respect or I won't be responsible for my actions!!!

SA(taking a step back): Okay...take your time...

In the meantime, the other guy behind me was sweating like a pig resembling a Big Brother candidate waiting to be evicted... He only needed a moment's hesitance on my behalf to "feast" on the gaming juices of this Xbox360. I peeked behind my back gleefully and looked at him with a stare that said : "Sorry dude, this is just not your day...". As soon as this little "gamers' mystagogy" of sorts ended, I shouted out my ultimatum that echoed ominously in the isles of the megastore:

The shop assistant's indifference and the gaming vulture's 'breathing over my neck' wouldn't go unpunished, ready, steady, aim, fire!!! I would eventually prevail, no doubt about it:)

"Screw this! I am buying it!!!". As I muttered these words, leaving the other potential Xbox360 owner nearly in tears (eat this you vulturing scum!!!) I grabbed a wireless controller from the shelf and went to the cash register. There was a queue there and since I had a lot of purchases (a console, a game and a controller) I left my items on an empty register which was closing down (end of shift) until my turn on the open register came.Shortly after, a woman in the queue talked to me:

Senile woman(SW): Why dont you use this register instead so we can pay faster as well...

DP(in a slightly sarcastic tone): Maybe it is because it is closed down, just a lucky guess on my behalf...

SW: But I see the young lady behind you... she is still here...

DP: Her shift has ended...she is just closing down the register...

SW: But she is still here...

DP(angrily) :Look lady, do you think this is my idea of fun or something, waiting on an empty register just for the kicks of it!!! I said the register is closed!!! Do we have an understanding...?

SW: .....



I wanted to purchase Assasin's Creed and after dealing effectively with the "Mrs impatience 2007" intervention I finally fulfilled my goal for the day! Yep, I am a man of immense ambition, no doubt about it, LOL!


The moronic moral of the story is to never piss an angry gamer standing in a cash register, especially not when the game he is about to purchase is called "Assasin's Creed"... LOL!!! The young woman whose shift had just ended smiled at me in an atypical "Thank you!" response. As my turn came to pay, I was in for another pleasant surprise that cemented my belief that this Xbox360 was meant for me and me only... The shop employee hit the barcode in the counter (the price on it was 299 Euros) and the amount came down to 254 Euros, that would be 50+ Euros less than advertised on the price tag! I don't know how it happened and noone seemed to care, so with the separate controller purchase I ended up paying 293 Euros in total!!! Yep, it seems that the gods of gaming had showered me with their mercy for my persistence to venture into the next generation of gaming at any cost:)

As I reunited with my girlfriend, who was standing a bit further back during this "register massacre", and before I started narrating to her my little "shopping adventure", I couldn't shake the feeling that Christmass had come early for me this year, in more ways than one...



Till next time then, take care all!

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (A gamer in turmoil-Part 2 of 3)

So the big day was finally upon me. I was ready to go out and propose to Eva Mendes(eh....oookkk... minor typo there....hehehe) and buy a next gen console, I mean. I had fought the longing for some next gen gaming for too long I just had to see what the fuss was about. As I entered the first megastore, I moved with the grace of a gaming addict on the verge of madness towards the shelves were Wii games were displayed.... Wii games "yes", Wii consoles "no" though. Shivers ran down my spine, I had to buy the damn thing even if I had to start selling my body parts for it (having two kidneys is highly overrated but then again maybe I'll hold on to them for a little bit longer just to be on the safe side...). Wii was out of stock it seemed and I evacuated the premises before I started to 'verbally punish' people left and right for this insolence. I marched into the second megastore ready to "Wii- Fu" my way towards the Wii consoles but the same fate was upon me. "No Wii consoles" on sale. "This is a frigging epidemic!!!" I shouted... My poor girlfriend had a man in turmoil standing in front of her "We will find it in another shop, you doofus...", she tried to calm me down while her voice tone was leaning on the verge of mockery towards me at the same time(yep I surely love that woman, LOL)... As I was getting ready to bang my head against the first 'non- Wii' shelf of the shop, just to make the corporate heads pay for their negligence of not having a Wii console in stock, my eye caught a glimpse of a shiny, albeit battered box...

This awesomeness signed upon me even via the battered white package... It is called a 'gamer's insight' I am told....actually it is more of a malarchy infused impulse but I won't tell if you won't tell :)

It was the package of an Xbox360 bundled with the game "Gears of War". Out of frustration, luck, destiny or pure desperation I checked the price tag waiting to see a price around 400 Euros as the best case scenario(the worst case scenario would give my wallet a stroke so I didnt dare think of it...). I read the price tag and instantly my jaw got acquainted with the floor... I thought I was hallucinating, I never had an aversion for strobe lights and epilepsy was not one of my killer traits so what could it be... I checked the price again... "Surely there is something off here this can't be..." I muttered to myself (good thing my girlfriend had other interests in the shop so I didnt lose her along with my dignity, LOL). The temptation was too strong... For a moment there I hesitated and my "Wii principles" came in play... "But I wanted to buy a Wii...", "I know all the good games for it..." , "it would be so original and fun..." all those phrases hit me like a ton of proverbial bricks, I felt almost guilty not buying a Wii you see (yep, I was that far gone, lol)! Then the bad DP voice came into my head and shouted : "Grab the box and run you tosser, just go to the cashier's and dont look back, this console has your name on it, can't you see... how malakas can one be?". Without another moment's hesitation I looked behind me for any 'shopping vultures' that may have casted their consuming gazes on my prey and shouted : "This is mine damn it!!!". I grabbed the box and clinged on it with such force I am glad it did not transform into a PSP from the squeeze:). So I reached the register and asked to pay for "my trophy"... as fate would have it... things wouldnt go as smoothly as planned... not just yet anyway...


The Wii is now a 'future purchase'... can't believe it myself. Still tons of fun:)


I think one can see the difference in the approach of gaming... I sure can... oh well back to playing Assasin's Creed (the hooded guy figure in the vid)


At the other side of the register my girlfriend had already payed for the rest of the pucrhases and was waiting for me to 'cross to the other side' with her... As it turned out, she would have to wait a bit longer for our merry fool's reunion...

(To be continued and concluded in part 3)

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (Prelude-Part 1 of 3)

You know a few months back I was as solid as a rock in my views. "Next gen gaming is just a big con you fools" I enthused with pathos. Just check out my relevant post via this link if you dare (actually if you are not totally bored since it is not a particularly "daring" task to be honest... not as daring as me taking a shower anyway...LOL) :

http://deadpoolstrikesback.blogspot.com/2007/04/
console-wars-how-stupid-can-one-be.html

While I believe that the majority of some of my arguments still stands to some extent I do not longer consider the whole affair a total waste of time(although I dont own an HD TV so I might as well like living in denial over the necessity of an endeavour into next gen gaming...). The point of this "pointless post" is(dont you love these phrasal contradictions that dont make any sense in this blog... I mean as soon as you read one you know it is my blog and there is no escape... brilliant simply brilliant...LOL) that as I was envisioning my gaming future and what would be the console to purchase in upcoming months one name kept resurfacing in my collective subconcious (not a particularly crowded place I assure you...LOL). And the name of the game was "Wii"!!! Ok, ok I know it sounds like I am taking a leak singing merrily to the great beyond (isnt it always a merry experience -i.e. taking a leak- to begin with... up until the prostate crisis kicks in and it becomes an accomplishment of mythical proportions anyway...). Regardless, this "little fun box" called Wii had several things about it that made it more appealing as an immediate purchase:


This is such an over the top ad, so it naturally had a place in this humble blog corner:)

- The Wii approaches gaming in a more interactive way which is fresh. You move the controller and it copies your movement.This opens a lot of interesting possibilies on how people can interact with games so concurrently(blame the terminology on that sick bastar... that was the 'architect' in the Matrix movies...) it rocks (not as much as me blogging but it isnt a shame to rock merrily in the second place of uber coolness) and opens a world of exciting possibilities for gaming design.

- The novelty of the technology and the fact that 'moving things' is more intuitive than memorizing button combinations makes this the ideal platform for people that, well, just want to have short bursts of fun and are not particularly fond of gaming. Oh, how much I wanted to see my mother try to play bowling on "Wii Sports" that would have been the highlight of 2007 for me (yeah it has been a "good year" like that... nah actually it has, LOL).

-Playing with your Wii (that sounded very perverted for some reason, lol) is just fun! You can play fun games with friends and just laugh out loud at how surreal the whole affair is. Grown up people waving their Wii motes at the TV screen trying not to decapitate anyone in range or avoid breaking that vase that supposedly cost a fortune but in all honesty they can live without.

So, yeah playing with the Wii held so much promise. I was salivating(not literally but I am still young so give it time...LOL) in the prospect of buying one this December. And then that fateful day came when videogaming dreams went out of the window and the cold harsh reality slapped me on the face... I was going to buy an Xbox360 dear readers, I just didn't know it yet...

(To be continued...)

Two cousins, one videogame, lots of laughs, little bursts of shameless fun...

It is no earth shattering secret that I was born in Thessaloniki, Northern Greece. Thessaloniki (Salonica for short) is where most of my mother's family is and I do grasp any occassion I get to visit the place. I am lucky to have close bonds with my relatives over there but as is the case with relatives, I have people I like more than others. One of the unfortunate suckers I am really close to is my cousin Thomas(for the rest of the world my name is Christos in case you have been stranded in a deserted island for the last 50 posts). With Thomas we share a common superpower of sorts... I can understand what he thinks before he says it and vice versa and it is more often than not that we end up laughing like madmen in family reunions with the rest of the family looking bewildered and puzzled. Yeah, I know, two "laughing mutants" stranded in a world that fears and hates them for laughing for no apparent reason. Life is fun like that , you see:)

One of the highlights of me staying in Thomas' place is when we dig out of an enormous pile of dust and spider webbing his trusty heroic SEGA Saturn console and we play two player sessions of a "SEGA made" game called "Athlete Kings" or "Decathlete" depending on region of release. This bloody game does exactly what it's title suggests(make us Kings of the athlete's world maybe? Okay, that was beyond lame...LOL). Essentially, "this exercise in pointlessly wasting time" pits two moronic gamers against eachother for a series of 10 track and field events with the ultimate goal being to outclass your opponent, gather more total points and make him cower in humiliation when he is beaten (yeah, I know I am a good sport like that, LOL). The funny thing about this game that makes me write this post is the method of controlling your sportsman in each event. This is a combination of good finger tapping coordination, stupidity infused concentration and some luck. More importantly though, it fuels a lot of laughs between me and my cousin because of the absurdity of it all:) Let me elaborate...

Absurdity filled post coming up... please select your character:)

100 metres dash: This event requires that we press two buttons in fast sequence and in coordination to make our athlete run faster than the opponent. Problem is you really need to do it fast so more often than not we (as in the cousins) end up more tired than the athletes on the screen(I am sure in one of the upcoming sessions someone is going to lose a finger or something...oh the passion...oh the commitment...oh the pain...LOL) . What is really funny though is, because each one of us sees the other one being "tortured " by this arduous control method (to the point of having his face turning red and fuming), we both start laughing uncontrollably which kind of fucks up our record times to be honest. I always have a need to empty my bladder while doing this event I don't know it must be a defense mechanism of sorts against excess laughter:) Come to think of it maybe I do this intentionally to some subconcious level. I mean, the more I want to go to the toilet, the faster I am going to make my athlete run, thus the faster the race will be over before I visit the toilet... :) You know my deductive logic is too good for this plane of existence sometimes LOL!!!

Long Jump: This event requires good tapping fingers coordination to power up the sprint of your athlete, then at the opportune moment you press the jump button at the right angle and you see your athlete fly or eat dirt, depending on your timing. I have to say, whenever I choose the Japanish dude (there is a selection of characters before one begin's to play) he always ends up being disqualified even if the jump is perfect. This is a bug of the game but being the uber conspiracy theorist that I am I do share the notion that it could be an intentional glitch. I don't know, maybe to punish the Japanese for unleashing the Pokemon and/or Yu-Gi-Oh foolishness upon us, who knows...(and I do know that SEGA is a Japanese company so it could be some self induced punishment, a gaming sepuku of sorts...)

Shot Put: You push the button and if you time it right the athlete throws the sphere to the great unknown. A nice relaxing event in which even a comatose patient has a chance of excelling. Yep, it is THAT easy:) I always think of existential stuff when participating in this event, like what I am going to eat for lunch, if my girlfriend is "doing the nasty" with someone else, when will I be able to buy a PS3 without having to sell my body, you know, trivial things like that:)

Something tells me my readers have already assumed this position and will start running away from me to survive the absurdity of this post any moment now...:)

High Jump: High Jump used to be an event of immense frustration for the both of us. We were running pressing the buttons in quick succession, timing our jump right, arching our bodies to overcome the bar.... only to bring it down with us with a subtle touch of our athlete's ass or an overstretched foot. After dissecting the event to its basic components in our gaming labs and continuously watching the bloody tutorial of "how to do things in the event" until our eyes bled, this event was conquered by DP and his equally nutcase cousin. Now we are jumping over the bar like there is no tomorrow muhahaha!!! For a moment there I felt so exhilarated, I sensed my madness subsiding (yeah right....like THAT is going to ever happen, LOL)...

400 metre race: As gaming fates dictate it, DP is better in some events and his cousin in others... With time and repeated playing rounds, Personal Best records are shattered and World Records are put to shame. Still this one event is beyond reach... Once, I selected the bloody Japanese dude, he ran representing the DP awesomeness to the fullest and made an amazing time... That was it, regardless how much I sweat, how much my cousin swears, how much I fart to give the guy an extra boost, how much my cousin prays to all beings of higher existence... there is no way to even come close to the record the Japanese guy made under my command that fateful evening... I guess life is full of disappointments... LOL



Athlete Kings in a heartbeat so to speak:) Don't you just love that Japanese commentary?It makes the experience of watching this vid that much more worthwhile, LOL!

110 Metre Hurdles: The trick to this event is to not demolish everything in your passing but to jump above it with grace and some killer "pants ripping" stretches. When it works, the racing is very competitive and does provide a certain degree of gaming satisfaction to complete that event without having swept clean every single obstacle on the course. When it fails though, and you hit the first obstacle, you are royally f...d! Until you recover your sprinting/jumping rhythm, all obstacles have been magically embedded to your belly since you are not jumping over them but passing through them( I guess the notion "when you cant beat them, join them" never rang more true, LOL)... A lot of crazed laughters ensue when that happens, I assure you...:)

Discus Throw: You rotate the control pad, your athlete rotates with it and then you release and the discus goes flying like "a poor man's" UFO. Problem was that this game was originally designed for the Arcades which means there was a stick to rotate in mind, while in the Saturn there is only a level cross shaped D-pad! Have no fear! Due to a combination of DP's ingenuity and a lot of gaming frustration, the solution was delivered by means of a pen that we stick in the middle of the D-pad cross so that it provides some leverage for rotation. Neat eh? Well, if you take out the fact that a lot of pens have fallen heroically by breaking during this "rotating symphony of discus throwing" it has been the greatest invention mankind has ever known apart from my blog of course:)

If there was ever a time in my life when I was acceptably sane, it all came crashing down when attempting to do decently in the Pole Vault event for the gazillionth time!!!

Pole Vault: Ok people, this event is our "Nemesis" of the game so to speak. No matter how many times we have watched the tutorial of "how to do things", no matter how many approaches we have tried to do decently in this event... we have reached an absolutely shameful and frustrating dead end with this. We just don't get it! This is either a design flaw of the developers during the conversion of the game from the Arcade to the Console format or we are so thick as individuals that when we see zebra crossings on the street, we start sniffing the lines instead of crossing them... This event is like a big black void in our gaming experience and more often than not one of us has stopped the other from commiting suicide from frustration because of failing in it... Gaming gods have mercy on us!!!

Javelin Throw: This event is where the DPs are separated from the boys:). Yeah, I so rock in this, if I rocked any harder Jimmy Hendrix would have been erased from the pantheon of rock history in an instant, LOL. The level of my awesomeness in Javelin throw can only be compared to how good looking I am or to how every single psychiatrist in Greece wants to do a PHD on me. Yep, I am that good!!! LOL. Ah, I can just imagine myself throwing the Javelin in the China Olympics in 2008 in full DP outfit and the crowd cheering "You are da man!!! Go DP go!!!"... It would be a moment of madness to transcend sports history for the ages, I am telling you:) Hey, a guy can dream right? LOL

1500 Metre Race: Ok, this event is boring... maintaining your rhythm throughout the cheesy music that plays and some mindless A.I. controlled drones that shove your athlete's ass left and right... This event is all about the shoving... and the awesomeness of blocking someone's path whilst he gives you a push to victory.... What was that? This comment doesn't make any sense you say? Welcome to my world people! LOL

"Fly baby fly for DP!!!" Oops...Did I say that out loud? Oh! My defiance for anything sane and semi - coherent knows no boundaries it seems, LOL!

At the end of all events a total sum of points separates the winners from the "whiners". Both cousins' fingers ache, we chat, we laugh, we tease eachother and we are ready to get off our lazy asses and do something more meaningful and creative with our time.... right after another round of Athlete Kings....LOL!

Look at me Ma!!! I won!!! I just look so awesome in all my leotard wearing, afro parading glory!!!

Till I break the mystery of gaming (and one of the great mysteries of the Universe as a whole) that is "doing decently on Pole Vault and living to brag about it" I will persist with this madness... Both me and my cousin, and probably our future offspring should we perish in our vain attempt to write another glorious page of stupidity in our Athlete Kings' scrapbook:)

Long post this one ladies and gentlemen but I laughed a lot while writing it and I hope you enjoyed the ride as well.

Till next time then...



Some people have way too much free time in their hands... (that is not me playing by the way, lol, cool little bug that one resulting in the rolling racer, heh)

Resident Evil the Deadpoolite way, a.k.a. the funny moments of 9 years of survival horror...

Since this blog is more about what makes me have a good time, compared to my greek one, I wanted to write a post about the awesomeness of Resident Evil. As this idea emerged from the depths of that peanut sized white thing in my skull called brain, I realised that by writing about all the core games of the series and what they are about would be cool if this was a Resident Evil fan site but would also make my existing readers all sleepy eyed and bored ( nothing new there then, ha,ha,ha) out of their minds (or what is left of them anyway, since with each of my blog entries a little bit of their grey matter is vaporised irreversibly...a minor side effect I am sure...heh). Anyway, enough with the crap jokes already! The name of the game is to describe some funny moments I had with this videogame or because of it, so let's roll!

So you may ask now... what the hell is "a Resident Evil". To cut the long story short, Resident Evil is a videogame about killing zombies and other biohazardous abominations (yep I am a bioscientist myself, noticed the irony there anyone... ha,ha,ha) trying not to get munched by them in the process. The whole thing is typical b-movie fodder and it has evoked quite a lot of scares for this little Merc called Deadpoolite (why the heck am I talking in third person about myself, am I the reincarnation of Julius Caesar or something...hmmm.... another consideration for my therapy sessions...lol). Story wise most of the core games (there are numerous side games most of them crap...) are about this huge corporation called Umbrella Inc. (how original...) that is working with viruses (how even more original...) to make the ultimate biohazard weapon (how ecstatically original...) when naturally something goes wrong (this is so fricking original that I am going to faint just by typing it...). As a result everyone near the location(s) that the game takes place is transformed into a zombie or is turnt into another type of monster as a result of deliberate experimentation by the company (ok, I am officially fainting... I just can't stand this much originality in a concept... it is surreal...ha,ha,ha). So naturally you are the only malakas (let's just say this is the greek word for "jackass" but it does have many translations in greek... just dont use it too often in Greece, if you ever come around.., unless you have some lifelong ambition to have your skull cracked... hey whatever works for you right? LOL) that is unaffected. It could be because you ate all your vegetables when your mom told you to do so, thus you have become immune to everything by now including biotech hazardous viruses...good boy/girl! The primary objective is to survive armed with cheesy one liners and firearms with severe deficit in bullets. Oh, Chuck Norris would have been proud of me right about now:)




If you watch one vid out of the lot, watch this one! This is the UNCUT introduction of the original Resident Evil game and it is hilarious. It was filmed with real people (I dont say actors, they werent actors, these people were just company employees,lol).The dog you see growling was a fake dog head on a tagpole. This is so cheesy it hurts but it is also very funny because of it. Back then a Resident Evil franchise wasnt even on the radar... this was supposed to be a one off gig you see:)




Ok, now that the premise is done and dusted let's move on to the really funny stuff...(Drums rolling....)



Resident Evil 1 was played by Deadpoolite in 1998 (you know what they say about the first love right...?) at the Halls of Residence in London where he was staying at the time (ok, enough with the third person thing...)


As a fresh faced undergraduate half way through my first year in the university I bought a PS1, rented a TV and bought Resident Evil (what a trilogy of happiness ha,ha,ha...). I knew nothing about it other than that a cousin of me liked it and that it had zombies in it (I really needed no more incentive to buy something back then... besides I could always torture my cousin if it had been crap, so it was a win win situation either way for me... LOL). So, I started playing the game, controlling the moronically speaking and equally stupid acting Chris Redfield. For the first couple of minutes I was just leading the poor clueless sap in the game's scary mansion, marching like a tourist not a care in the world. As I opened a door and entered a dark corridor, I walked a bit further and then a cut-scene kicked in with a horrendous zombie having a feast on some poor bastard. Then, all of a sudden, this epitomy of human decomposition turnt its ugly head to face me (hey, even zombies need dessert...). As I was totally unaware of anything about the game (good times in that respect back then...) I wrestled with the gamepad trying to make the moronic malakas I was controlling react to his impending doom or just plain flee from it.... To no avail though.... I wasn't yet familiar with the control scheme of the game so the zombie just grabbed my sorry Merc ass and just had a ball with this uninvited "human freebie meal". As a relatively pristine zombie killer back then, I just dropped the gamepad, screamed with a voice like the Bee Gees lead singer and was left looking at the screen bewildered (any rumours that I wetted my pants as well is totally unsubstantiated for the most part anyway...LOL).




This bloody cut scene was my first ever in the world of Resident Evil... It lasted only 14 secs and it really creeped me out back then... Remember this was a time before Google and such on-line commodities and info about the game was scarce or I wasnt sure how to access it. So, yeah I got scared...sad but true:)


As I was getting better with the game and was killing zombies left and right my social life kind of deteriotated to the point of non-existent for a week or so. It was me against the zombies and for all I cared there could have been a nuclear explosion in the London area and I wouldnt have bothered to blink about it ha,ha,ha,ha. Point is my laundry was accumulating as well, I hadnt shaved for a week or so (I looked something like a ZZ top singer that week), let's not talk about showering and I really cant recall going to the toilet but it could have happened, I am sure. So, really I was the epitomy of a lazy bum embedded to his bed. One day, within this idyllic scenery and as I was blasting the undead to smithereens, a friend of mine (who later became my girlfriend) knocked on my door and asked : "DP are you alright? I havent seen you for days... anyhow if you are inside there is a phone call for you at the common room phone".

As I cleared my throat to mumble some sort of civilised reply, an incomprehensible growling sound came out of my mouth instead ( I guess my vocal cords went AOL on me since I hadnt talked much for like days....lol). Susan knocked on the door even more persistently, slightly worried... I gathered all my willpower and strength to communicate with another civilised being and lifted my left hand to open the bloody door, ready to blast the imbecile that dared interrupt my Resident Evil transfixation. Good thing the room was so tiny I didnt have to get out of bed to open the door since I am sure my feet were partying in atrophy heaven from my laziness, at the time. As I unhinged the door, my head tilting weirdly to the left like some "Exorcist girl " wannabe, Susan tried to enter the room and the door hit me straight on the forehead (good thing my bucketload of dirty laundry was blocking the door from opening at full length, otherwise I would have been the first ever beheaded student in the history of the University,lol). Unphased by this revolting development (after all, only playing Resident Evil mattered, the rest were just distractions...ha,ha,ha), I had the following dialogue with Susan who was looking at me like I just escaped from a nuthouse:

Susan: Are you ok?
DP:kkkkk......
Susan: You got a phone call.
DP: Whoizit? (all in one word...lol)
Susan: Your parents from Greece.
DP: Okz... berightthere (I was a man of few words what can I say, lol)
Susan: Bye... (looking puzzled)
DP:....

As you can easily deduct, I wasnt offing zombies in-game anymore, I was turning into one of them , LOOLLL!!!

Zombite or Deadpoolite? I wasn't even sure myself back then... itchy tasty...:) Sorry little in-joke there for "the people in the know" (as if...lol), couldn't resist...

Years later I played Resident Evil 3 with a cousin of mine. The original thing about that game was, that it had one kickass monster called Nemesis that could go through doors, so basically you were never safe. At some scripted game intervals the monster cornered you and you were presented with a dual choice of sorts on how to react to the situation.

When we booted up the game for the first time, as soon as we saw Nemesis chasing us we freaked out to the point of switching off the TV and not switching it back on for the next couple of hours! It was surreal, we wouldnt go near the TV or even think of switching on the PS1... As we gathered enough willpower and courage (yep, courage, pathetic isnt it, lol) we continued playing until we were faced with the first dilemma of sorts. The situation was as follows:

Our character Jill Valentine had gone up a staircase to investigate an office for clues/items etc. The office had only one window to the right side and the only real exit was the way we came in originally. As we entered the office, the camera changed view and we saw Nemesis walking slowly up the staircase as well!!! Then the following message appeared on-screen:

"Nemesis is approaching (NO SHIT!!!) and he will reach you soon, what are you going to do?"

2 choices flashed before our terrified eyes...

1. Jump out of the window (situated quite high above the ground mind you, lol)
2.Hide in the office


After surviving the initial shock... a short, albeit panicked, verbal exchange ensued between me and my cousin :


DP: Oh man, HE is coming what the fuck should we do!!!
Thomas: Jump out of the fucking window, no question about it (screaming in horror!!!)

And so our character jumped like a madwoman with a deathwish out of the window (This stunt was performed by a certified videogame character, dont try this at home kids ...heh... not until I get my digicam ready to shoot anyway...lol). Since this was a videogame, she landed on some trash bags underneath.... I am sure if I could smell them they would smell like roses, we were that terrified of Nemesis, ha,ha,ha.



A cool compilation of some cut scenes from "Resident Evil 3 : Nemesis "accompanied by quite fitting music. The "handsome" chap starring in it, apart from the zombies and the babe in the blue tank top, is Nemesis!!! Can't believe I was actually scared to play the game because of this freak ha,ha,ha,ha!



Ok, this post has gotten already too long and I dont want to tire you anymore, but if you'd like to have a sequel to this, just for the laugh of it, just let me know. Plenty of fun stories to tell, I assure you:)


Till, next time DP out!




This last flash is pretty much a classic... It shows some cute cartoony versions of various characters of the series saying basic things about the game. For some reason this vid always makes me crack a smile... it is just cute:)



P.S.1 The Resident Evil movies have nothing to do with the games apart from the use of a couple of names present in the game. These movies are totally crap, stay away!!! You have been warned...

P.S.2 The original Resident Evil videogame was released in 1996 but I played it a couple of years after that... just some useless, stupid trivial info for you:)

Beginning to like Nintendo... I didn't see that one coming!

I 've been an avid videogamer for some years now. Although, currently undergoing one of my less "videogaming" periods, I am still getting informed about new game releases and related news quite regularly. A few days ago, I saw on the rack of a local newsagent's the game magazine "Edge". Not really my style this mag since I think it takes the medium way too seriously(although as an industry it has eclipsed the Hollywood money making machine by far) and I do prefer the approach of mags like "Games" (both of those mags are published in the UK). Regardless, what drove me to this particular issue of "Edge" was the cover. It was about Nintendo and the current success it is enjoying with its current handheld (DS) and home (Wii) consoles. I extended my right arm, picked up the mag from the rack, went to the counter, payed for the mag and left the newsagent's. At that particular moment it hit me "When the fuck did I become a Nintendo fan? Shit, I didnt see that one coming... oh man I am doomed beyond redemption".






Granted I dont particularly like Mario but this trailer is too nuts not to put on my blog. Plus you get to kick Mario's ass in this game, how cool is that. Now, if only they had Sonic the Hedgehog as an unlockable character...lol!



I'll provide some backstory to show you the depth of the identity crisis I was facing. My first meaningful games console was Sega Megadrive(Sega Genesis in the US) back in 1992 or thereabouts (it was the year Jurassic Park was out, you do the math...lol). I bought that console to play Sonic the Hedgehog which was way too cool a game not to play. Back then the other major player on the console market was Nintendo and its Super Famicom (or Super Nintendo Entertainment System "SNES" as it was marketed in the European market). SNES had been released with the game Street Fighter 2. I remember arguing with my friends a lot at the time about which console and consequently company was better, Megadrive or SNES, SEGA or Nintendo. It was a stupid fanboyish argument where there wasnt really any right or wrong. Still, it was important enough for me at the time to consider Nintendo as "the enemy" and whatever they made "shit". It didnt matter that my criticism was unfounded to a great extent, I was a teenage pawn of the corporate market that thrives upon such meaningless rivalries. Plus it was just fun to have a laugh with friends about our stupid little past time called videogaming.






The series that started it all for me...truth be told it all went downhill after the two first games in the series LOL! Oh, where have the good times gone...




Years passed, SEGA became a shadow of its former self to the point of stopping producing any hardware at all and solely focusing on either development of software or acting as a publisher for the software of smaller companies. Nintendo on the other hand kept doing what it did best, make profit, regardless if it had been corporately sidelined by Sony and the Playstation brand. Up to this point I still liked SEGA (I always have a soft spot for those suckers, lol), I dug the PLaystation game console and I didnt care at all about Nintendo. All these in the time period between 1996 -2000 or thereabouts.



Forward a couple of years and I was dealt with a major shock to my gaming sensibilities. One of the gaming franchises I adore, Resident Evil became an exclusive for the then newly released Nintendo console , Gamecube. It was a no-brainer really, I needed to have my Resident Evil fix so it was only a matter of time before I buy the damn thing. Never have I felt so shit buying a product, after all I bought the damn thing for a grand total of 4 Resident Evil games!






Although Resident Evil Outbreak was more of a failed experiment than a decent game its beautiful introduction illustrates greatly what Resident Evil is all about...enjoy!



It just felt wrong buying a Nintendo console. Still I did it.... Then after a couple of months passed by I got acquainted with some of the Nintendo franchises that up to that point I was only remotely aware of (I hate Mario by the way so he wasnt an option never has been...). Such franchises included , The Legend of Zelda, Metroid Prime and some other exclusive games. Playing those games I progressively became fond of the way Nintendo approaches gaming, a mentality permeating most of its "home grown" games. In most of its games you can see that this company makes games that address to the kid inside the adult or the kid in general(making huge profits along the way...lol!). Its games are just fun to play, they may seem too cartoony or too childish on the surface but break them down to their basic components and they are just fun with their colourful little worlds that remind you how it felt like when you were a kid and you were waking up really early in the morning to watch the Saturday cartoons. Trust me, I still like my "adult" Playstation 2 games and that console's library is huge but there is something about Nintendo... that is aluring. In 25 years of existence this company has ALWAYS made profits one way or another so they cant be totally stupid it seems.





Simply beautiful...



So here we are in the year 2007, Nintendo has already two consoles out the Wii and DS and both are equally original and fun. I think it will be the first generation of consoles that I'll probably buy two different home consoles "the really fun one" the Wii and one of the more "adult" ones (either an Xbox360 or a PS3 with the former having an advantage simply because I really hate SONY at the moment...). Still, all in good time...


Check out the cool ad below for the Wii (if there ever was a console for the casual gamer this is it, so you women out there start saving money, it is really fun it seems and not a complicated mess for the non-initiated gamer):








So where do I stand now as gamer? After all those years I still like SEGA (I wouldnt call myself a fan I am old enough not to be THAT stupid, lol!) but I have a soft spot for the big N as well. Truth be told, there is something awfully wrong seeing Sonic the Hedgehog appearing in Nintendo consoles' games and I 'll never get used to that (he will even co-star WITH fricking jackass Mario into a game about the upcoming Olympic games in China in 2008....and then they say I am twisted, lol!).


So here I am talking nice about Nintendo, oh man I feel so sick all of a sudden, what is this world coming to...

Till next time, take care all of you!

Hitler banned from Xbox Live...funny as hell!

Hi guys and girls. This is probably the first and last time I am doing this but this video worths it! If you are a videogamer you ' ll enjoy it even more but if not do not despair it is still funny as hell. Let me just provide some bakground on this. Xbox Live is the highly improved on-line service that Microsoft provides to all gamers with its new games console Xbox 360. With it you can play multiplayer games with other gamers around the world and if you have certain accomplishments in games you get some points in your account (think it like the discount/credits card that supermarkets provide to lure customers). With those points you can buy certain cool stuff for your games. Other stuff like expansion packs and such (these are levels of an existing game that are released for purchase after the games original release to add some longetivity to the original game) can also be purchased with money.

What happened in Europe as far as I know is that when this improved Xbox Live service was released some people that were not properly registered tricked the system with cracked accounts thus being able to participate without giving a participation fee (I think this is required on monthly basis). Microsoft being the money maker that it is retaliated by tracking down those individual pirated user accounts and banning them out of the Xbox Live network for good. So these people were left with Xbox360 consoles that do not have any on-line capabilities whatsoever.

Now that this is out of the way enjoy the vid, personally I cant stop laughing (and for a nutter like myself this is quite a feat).





Have a nice weekend everyone!

Resisting the lust for a videogame walkthrough....barely...and proud of it!

The source of last night's frustration
that goddamn "God of War 2" game

I am an avid videogamer and I am currently delivering punishment left and right in God of War 2 for the PS2. I am also ridiculously patient as a person.As far as videogames are concerned when I am stuck, I become stubborn as a mule. I just have to go past this one last level before I drop the game. I will never admit defeat. It is all a bit pointless really but I can persist in the most absurd of situations even if the game is utter crap or it requires some ridiculous solution that the game designers conceived after a major hangover.In those kind of situations my most hated enemy, the Van Helsing to my Dracula, the Green Goblin to my Spiderman, the Jerry to my Tom is using the damn walkthrough. This is essentially a written guide that tells a hapless gamer how to pass a certain tough spot in the game. Usually, it is good to use one before you get totally frustrated with a game and start questioning your sanity and what death would suit you better to end the gameplay torture...

The forbidden fruit for gamers.
The goddamn walkthrough...

Yesterday night was a restless one, so I decided the hell with it I'll just kick some ass in God of War 2 and let some steam out. So there I was, starting up the PS2, loading the game at my last save point. Problem was, I was royally stuck... it was a bloody room I needed to cross
and there were a couple of switches I needed to press simultaneously. I started observing the room carefully to see what could help me in my silly quest but the room was pretty plain in design. After an hour of frustration where I had scanned every pixel on the screen (hell I had observed every fucking corner of my living room by then as well,lol) the crave started to take over. The crave to use a walkthrough and be done with it...I subdued the urge for that instantly
...I would not surrender...I would know no defeat...this aint the fucking Kubric cube it is God of War 2 damn it, it is not suppose to tire your brain cells but numb them.

Another half an hour passed, I had tried every conceivable and inconceivable approach multiple times (apart from the correct one obviously ,lol). The damn gate wasnt opening, it just stood there mocking my incompetence and my stupidity, wasting my time like a fool.... Then the urge came back, "I ve had enough with this shit,I 'll use a walkthrough" . However, the gamer nut inside me prevailed "no fucking way" I thought "I am going to open the gate TONIGHT and that is that"!

Ok, enough is enough just let
me go past the gate...please...

Another half an hour passed and the hallucinations started , I was visualising my game character walking past the gate laughing manically however it wasnt really happening. "For fuck's sake I am God of War in this game I can beat up cyclops,minotaurs and other monsters with my little pinky finger and I cant open a lousy gate! How lame is that...". Frustration kicked in, I was either going to use a walkthrough to go past the damn gate or throw the gamepad to the TV screen and break it. Maybe that would open the damn gate as well and that is all that mattered (yep I was that far gone folks,lol).

Maybe it is the TV's fault, maybe just maybe
all hope isnt lost yet

As I was pleading for mercy from the gaming gods (ok this is officially one of the dumbest things I've written but the hell with it, it fits the mold,lol), one of my half dormant brain cells sprung to life and gave me the solution to this problem. I opened the damn gate swearing at it silently (people were sleeping in the house doing what was normal not cursing at virtual gates in the middle of the night,lol). I swore in my mother language Greek, I swore in English, hell I probably swore in alien languages and Chinese as well (the only phrase I know in chinese is how to ask "where is the toilet?" and mind you I say it in perfect chinese accent,lol). All the rage of those lost hours of my life while I was meaninglesly trying to go past that damn gate just got loose(I am just glad I didnt wake anyone up because there is no greater rage than that of a person that loses his/her sleep over nothing and that is a fact of life,lol).

I saved my progress and went to sleep feeling a deep feeling of satisfaction ( I know, I know it is just a silly videogame but the hell with it I like my small victories now and then regardless of the field, I am a sucker for a good celebration what can I say...).

Today, I resumed playing of God of War 2 and I am royally kicking asses nothing can stop me so far. Not a scratch, not a worry in the world I am invincible I am telling you (yeah right..). I think it has to do with what happened last night when my own personal dormant God of War was unleashed on that virtual gate....

p.s.1 The reason I wanted to browse the game fast is because it is a bloody rental and I will have to return it soon. (The daily pressure of losing cash to a third party, you cant beat that for strong motivation for sure,lol)

p.s. 2 Time to play again....Someone is going to pay...again....lol!

I am past the gate and kicking asses left and right again
Hooray for Deadpoolite!