Saturday, 8 March 2008

Another 'fun' 3 hours... will the 'fun' ever end?

Last night I was on patrol duty between 3 am and 6 am (and no that doesn't mean that I was blogging non-stop between those hours although in a perfect world it should have, LOL). Essentially what I was doing was walking between various guarding checkpoints with another unfortunate soul tagging along (yeah I know... it sucks to be him... ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). The rules of "engagement" were simple (no my dear girlfriend not THAT "engagement", LOL): As I was approaching each guarding post the guard on duty was shouting "HALT, who is there?" (how original...). Now, I know that the proper reply on my behalf should have been : " I am Deadpoolite your eternal master, bow before me you mortal scum or I will make you laugh your guts out!!!" but that wouldn't be polite... Thus, I opted for something more casual and military like : "Patrol". The guard on duty asked me to proceed and after a few 'gracious' steps he halted me again (such spoilsports those pesky guards, no sense of fun, none at all, LOL) screaming like he was ODing on M and Ms (or maybe that is just me doing that....hmmm...this post is getting stranger and stranger, I guess I am as wacky as ever then, thanks fuck for that, heh). The guard said a number, I said a number and I proceeded some more (yeah I know, us, army men, lead an exciting life... lol). As I was ready to unleash "the ultimate wisecrack to end all wisecracks" the guard shouted "HALT" one final time (damn he is good and how about that rich flourishing vocabulary.... LOL) to which I replied "Piss off!!!" (nah, not really, in all honesty I muttered some password so uneventful and 'unfun' it is just makes me want to call the "Fun Police" to arrest those uneventful codewords and the 'geniuses' behind them, heh).

By the authority granted upon me by the fun police I am arresting all creators of 'unfun' and boring passwords just on principle alone... Gentlemen, you are sentenced to an hour of stand up comedy by yours truly, monsieur DP (a fate worse than death as some surviv... ahem, people say, LOL)!!!

Those glorious verbal exchanges between patrol men and guards were only part of the 3 hour 'fun ride' (yes there is keep your wits about you... what is left of it anyway... LOL). Throughout the night shift, the weather was being 'playful'. Raining at various quantities, making DP and his trusty sidekick wear their generic black 'raincoats' (think a 'drag' version of Batman's cape and you are half way there...). So there I was, browsing the camp with my 'superhero' cape of sorts looking to bring justice to 'no gooders' (actually priority number one was not to slip down a slope and thus end my superheroish patrolling career on day 1, hahahaha). As we were adjusting our pace according to our stamina trying not to unnecessarily wear ourselves out, we chatted a lot, me and my co-patrolling madman. As fate would have it, he was equally 'pleased' to waste three hours of his life doing rounds for rounds sake, so at random intervals we were making pit stops trying to make time pass just by standing still (unfortunately I am no "jedi material" so that plan didn't really work all that well, heh...). One of the highlights of our conversation was that his girlfriend is also from Crete, Greece which made us smile with glee since women from that big beautiful island (greek ministry of tourism I am still waiting for that paycheck by the way...) have a certain 'glare' of sorts in the eye (some go as far as to call it ' a hint of erupting madness' and I think the fact that the equally nuts DP is dating a girl from there proves their case beyond any shadow of doubt, ha,ha,ha,ha). At this point I have to mention that with the first sign of lightning, we both removed our metallic helmet exteriors since 'DP roast beef' wasn't scheduled for the menu that night (I am quite hard to 'digest' as it is, judging from this glorious blog, so why not save the pain to the fools that would want a piece of me, LOL).

I couldn't shake that question off my head you know...:).

As the night was reaching its end with the two patrolmen banging their heads with each other, because of sleep deprivation, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the first night of many similar to follow... Oh, who cares bring it on!!! If I can take my abysmal blog statistics with a smile on my face, what is a little patrol duty going to do to me, HAH!

Till next time, take care all!


Shan said...

Hahaha, I had figured you don't get internet access while in the military - I am so naive.

I am truly interested in your exploits in the army. Tell me more, like what uniforms, weapons and so on you are issued?

Trust me, I'm not a spy. Or is it something they teach you not to trust someone who tells you to trust them after asking what weapons and uniforms you are using currently?

lol... p.s. Don't be afraid of the lightning, be a man :P

Just kidding, until next time old friend.


Zhu said...

My my... they gave you A GUN?? They let you PATROL?? GUARD things?? Haven't you listed this blog as a reference before they take you?

I pray for Greece every day...

Just kidding ;)

Calista*Was*Here said...

Bulgarians, Turks, Macedonians - beware of DP!
Apparently he is bored. When a person of very vivid imagination is bored, he might do something irrational. Just for fun:)

I like your post, atlhough I'm surprised that you have time, computer, internet connection... Oh, army is losing its touch, hahaha...

By the way, are you far from Lamia?
(WHERE exactly?)

Of course,
take care
of those border lines:)

See you!

Jay Cam said...

fight any werewolves yet? the vampires over here are a nuisance!