So OK I am a big fat lier that overblows meaningless things in order to get some readers' attention. I am guilty as sin on all accounts of exaggerated blogging and loving it... Simply put ladies and gentlemen, I am Deadpoolite and this is my blogging Kingdom, where I make the wacky rules and readers check their brains out of the exit before entering in the wacky realm (I know, I know this is another one of those intros 'gone bad' where the readers are torn between shooting themselves or staying with me for a couple more lines, heh, stay with me people , you are too hardcore not to!). So I admit that it wasn't exactly a 'mission briefing'... I mean there is no bloody mission where I am, when there is no war at hand, right?, LOL. Thus, it was more of a case of a pointless briefing about various things, especially designed to " mentally sedate" (if not kill...) the unfortunate attendees ' (that would be me and the rest of the tortured souls present in this 'maelstrom of misinformation' , LOL).
Sometimes you can never be too prepared / too armed against human stupidity and verbal malarchy... It is just the way the world works:).
Let's face it, when a briefing, a lecture or whatever you want to call it, begins with how to drive, turns into hazards of various devices, informs about global warming and unleashes -as a last resort to grab attention- career prospect info upon you, only one thing comes to mind: "You are fuck...!!! Royally, utterly, irreversibly, mindfuc... beyond any hope of salvation..." Your brain turns into jello (for me it is its natural state so no new developments there, LOL) and all you can do is watch, hopelessly, as people around you fall like flies from boredom, some of them turn their heads around at 360 degree angles like that girl from 'The Exorcist' and the least resilient among them fall asleep like ODing polar bears in the middle of Winter:). Yes it was that bad... It was the briefing to end all briefings... It was one of those surreal experiences that David Lynch would have been proud to include in one of his movies... I am surprised there wasn't an urgent recruitment of new individuals after the end of this 'verbal massacre' that left people equally incapacitated, brain dead and at the verge of 'the coma state to end all coma states'.
Not even close folks, this 'freak' has a long wacky blogging way ahead of him. HAH!!!. Still it was a close call for my ever aching brain cells:).
The details of this pointless lecturing about things that 10 year olds take for granted and senile old fools still remember are not important. I won't tire you with all the foolishness that made my head split in two and dance the chicken dance before being put back together by the last strand of reason left in my brain (Wasn't that an appropriately 'Deadpoolitian' sentence or what..., amazing in its wacky glory , ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). What matters is that , despite the pointlessness of the whole affair, beyond the hardship enforced by ridiculous words and even more absurd phrases, Deadpoolite survived... I guess I am immune to extreme malarchy by default, I really can't explain it any other way ha,ha,ha,ha... Maybe the madness contained in my own head, part of it unleashed in this unfortunate blog, prevented the 'too stupid for words' reality from sinking in and irreversibly destroying the traces of sanity I got left. Who knows, maybe I got to thank my readers for being there, unwillingly (or willingly...you mazochistic blogging freaks... just kidding...ha,ha,ha) so I can unleash some verbal steam out and keep my wits together. Whatever the case, the awesomeness that is Monsieur Deadpoolite emerged victorious from this 'Hades of pointless lecturing' (' Hades' I write... hey those "300" inspired crumbs of audio visual pleasure are still going strong it seems... bummer...LOL) that seemed to be his brainless final destination. Nope, DP is OK, as OK DP can be anyway... Have no fear for the destiny of the wackylord, cause he is still going strong my ever diminishing reading minions:)!
Still as maddenigly cute as ever, or so I say myself:)
Till next time, be well and I will be around when my glorious moodswings dictate it...
Take care all!
Sometimes you can never be too prepared / too armed against human stupidity and verbal malarchy... It is just the way the world works:).Let's face it, when a briefing, a lecture or whatever you want to call it, begins with how to drive, turns into hazards of various devices, informs about global warming and unleashes -as a last resort to grab attention- career prospect info upon you, only one thing comes to mind: "You are fuck...!!! Royally, utterly, irreversibly, mindfuc... beyond any hope of salvation..." Your brain turns into jello (for me it is its natural state so no new developments there, LOL) and all you can do is watch, hopelessly, as people around you fall like flies from boredom, some of them turn their heads around at 360 degree angles like that girl from 'The Exorcist' and the least resilient among them fall asleep like ODing polar bears in the middle of Winter:). Yes it was that bad... It was the briefing to end all briefings... It was one of those surreal experiences that David Lynch would have been proud to include in one of his movies... I am surprised there wasn't an urgent recruitment of new individuals after the end of this 'verbal massacre' that left people equally incapacitated, brain dead and at the verge of 'the coma state to end all coma states'.
Not even close folks, this 'freak' has a long wacky blogging way ahead of him. HAH!!!. Still it was a close call for my ever aching brain cells:).The details of this pointless lecturing about things that 10 year olds take for granted and senile old fools still remember are not important. I won't tire you with all the foolishness that made my head split in two and dance the chicken dance before being put back together by the last strand of reason left in my brain (Wasn't that an appropriately 'Deadpoolitian' sentence or what..., amazing in its wacky glory , ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). What matters is that , despite the pointlessness of the whole affair, beyond the hardship enforced by ridiculous words and even more absurd phrases, Deadpoolite survived... I guess I am immune to extreme malarchy by default, I really can't explain it any other way ha,ha,ha,ha... Maybe the madness contained in my own head, part of it unleashed in this unfortunate blog, prevented the 'too stupid for words' reality from sinking in and irreversibly destroying the traces of sanity I got left. Who knows, maybe I got to thank my readers for being there, unwillingly (or willingly...you mazochistic blogging freaks... just kidding...ha,ha,ha) so I can unleash some verbal steam out and keep my wits together. Whatever the case, the awesomeness that is Monsieur Deadpoolite emerged victorious from this 'Hades of pointless lecturing' (' Hades' I write... hey those "300" inspired crumbs of audio visual pleasure are still going strong it seems... bummer...LOL) that seemed to be his brainless final destination. Nope, DP is OK, as OK DP can be anyway... Have no fear for the destiny of the wackylord, cause he is still going strong my ever diminishing reading minions:)!
Still as maddenigly cute as ever, or so I say myself:)
Till next time, be well and I will be around when my glorious moodswings dictate it...
Take care all!
7 comments:
Hilarious, as always, I love the way you "abuse" the English language.
This lunatic, devastating, outregious sense of humor is one of your most lovable charateristics!
Hugs and kisses
Oh really?! Moodswings dictate your appearing here?! I thought you were in the army, LoL!
When I was watching recent news from Greece, I tried to spot well equipped DP in the crowd.
You are the only solution when protest and strikes take place...
Wait a minute... Greece is democratic country.
Even more, Greeks INVENTED democracy, so they don't need rubber bullets and teargas, hahaha...
Maybe some philosopher is needed. To ease the pain:)
(I have fun, I hope you, too.)
Ok, serious part:
Maybe you're sad there, maybe you're nervous
but you can make fun of everything and make your minions laugh.
Cheerio!
Same here, everytime I hear about Greece on TV, I try to spot you. That plus the brain damage (when I read your blog) and the eye trauma caused by squinting at the TV for too long in case I see my Greek hero on a mission makes you... a devil man. ;)
Army food any good?
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the GPS, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://gps-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
I didn't know you had a posse. Sort of a stalker/fan club. Takes all types, I guess.
Ah, such crazy eloquence.. It makes me envious of you.
You have unique way of writing things , like siryn said "you abuse english language" but in good way ( huh ..)
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