Monday, 9 November 2009

Deadpoolite starring in "War of the mops"...



These past couple of weeks there has been a ridiculous alternation of sunny and rainy weather around these parts.And if sunny isn't a problem because "us Greeks feed on" sun , heavy rain is a different matter altogether. During this time of weather madness, DP's lair has been flooded not once, not twice but three times. Keep in mind that I am talking about a first floor flat seemingly "above the level of the sea", LOL! Still, it was more a case of blocked pipes and bucketloads of rain combining in a symphony of extreme flooding. The focus of this post will be on the third flooding extravaganza which seemingly transformed the place from an ordinary flat to a plumber's nightmare. Let's take things from the beginning though...




It was coming for us, I could feel it in my ready to get wet pyjamas...

It all started innocently enough... Sunday morning, sleeping with my gal, being practically submerged under the cozy duvet. It is how Sunday mornings should start in the most cliched way possible. And then it started raining... After 30 mins or so, my gal told me : "Why don't you check the rest of the flat to see if we have any inbound leaks". She muttered these words being half awake half asleep and immediately reversed to her dozy existence. I, being the macho man merc that I am , got up and went to the kitchen... As I opened my eyes and adjusted to the morning light (or lack of if you may) I witnessed the amazing sight of the sink being flooded to the brim and the kitchen floor being totally immersed in water.

The only choice available was evident, as clear as the lack of readers to this blog: "Save the cheerleader, save the world!"(sorry wrong line, "Heroes season 1" subconcious input overload, somehow creeping up on me). Let's try this once more... "Wake my girl up, look for any survivors and get out of this place"!
Nah that's when zombie invasion is upon us(I know I've done my drills should such an occasion arise which let's face it is only a matter of time, lol). Better try again then... OK, here it goes: "Alert the troops and fight the good fight against impossible odds trying to keep dry in the process" . Yeah that is more like it, after all, third time is a charm...


And then it was upon us, and all we could do was get wet... What a way to kickstart your Sunday eh? LOL!

So, I woke up sleeping beauty with a "rallying the troops to their impending doom" shout and started trying to empty the sink using any available vessel. However, to my surprise (insert sarcasm...), all the pop culture training in the world didn't seem enough to do the trick. The moment I emptied each water filled vessel and returned for reloading, the level of water in the sink had miraculously rised to a new level of unacceptableness. After certain rounds of pointlessly emptying and reloading water, my gal gave up on the whole notion of "preserving dryiness" and took the main leaking pipe totally out(quick pointless thinking there gal, god I love this woman, LOL!). Heck, if we were going to see our household transform into a waterworld we would do it OUR WAY! As we were watching the house getting molested by inbound water ,we had a cup of coffee talking about how we always wanted an aquarium and that these things cost, but now fate had bestowed upon us a truely interactive one, minus the fishes. Yep, we are that cool (or stupid) sue us, LOL!


I would be a prisoner of the mop for the next 3 hours, serving my sentence with conviction, after I had gone to the toilet to take a leak. You know, water pouring from every corner of the house and all... I just had to:).

Eventually, the rain stopped and it was time for some heavy mopping, preceded by the usual "push water towards the staircase routine because it has to get out of the bloody house somehow". If there ever was a time I wished I was Spongebob Squarepants this was the one. Being made of sponge would be the only thing able to save our floor (thanks f...k it ain't made of wood). Have I mentioned that half the house had become a pond, with the living room in particular having an additional watery deposit, courtesy of the flooded front balcony? And thus, we mopped like we had never mopped before in out worthless dry lives. The whole procedure took around 3 hours of extreme sponging and mopping during which I started hallucinating that I had little kids that were water skiing into the living room shouting: " We have the coolest house ever pa!!!" while I was immersed into the created waves.

I admit, should this madness had been true, it would have made things infinite cooler since there would be some movement, fuss and heavy cursing involved but we can't have it all in life(*sigh*bummer). So, I simply continued mopping like a true greek sportsman (which doesn't really say much, but who cares). Special mention should go to my newly developed specially patented "dustpan pour move" which I used to get water out of the living room through the open window aiming at the drain pipe opening. Jackie Chan eat your heart out!!! This move eluded you for years and now I have the commercial rights to it! Martial arts comedies will never be the same without it, so start dialing Jackie (OK, I kinda of hyperventilated for a moment there, so let's change paragraph for no apparent reason, LOL!).


We would need a star plumber to fix all this up in an acceptable manner but none was to be sighted on Sunday...

After such extreme sports action which had me grasping for a pen to write my will, just in case, the merry couple of no gooders switched on the radiators to dry things up, fooled around on their laptops to restore heart rate to normal levels and then collapsed onto the bed. Yep, such a romantic Sunday morning that was... Ah the memories of... yesterday are still with me to this day:).


Then Monday morning came and the star plumber arrived in all his water crusading glory... OK, we had a couple of hiccups and he tripped a lot but he got the job done. I am a few euros short but a lot drier, bless him:).


Hope you cracked a smile or two, till next time, take care!


4 comments:

Calista*Was*Here said...

Well it is funny (of course as long as I am not participant of such event). But I see a lot of opportunities there for you; watching rapid growth of fungus and mould then study it for example. (Your lab will borrow you apporpriate microscope, I'm sure.)

I could suggest to find another flat (say 4th floor) but then earthquake might surprise you there ...

ALERT!! ALERT!! TSUNAMI is coming ...

(just a drill... don't worry)

In such cases is good to know where your passport and money are.

And the rest of surviving kit: some food, clothes, soap, lappy - anything that you can bring in rucksack (with ease).
Priorities are crucial here so you'll have to convince your gal that she looks fabulous without makeup and rubber boots are great fashion statement in London now :)

See you in next episode of survivor :)
{But I don't think there is any prize....
'cept ...
hugs:)}.

Zhu said...

What did you do to your great gods? Fire, water.... mmm.... there is definitely some kind of divine punishment here :-D

(Okay, not funny, sorry. I'd go mop with you but you are a bit far. Plus, I have to rest my muscles for our own weather punishments, blizzards).

Sol (Frederick) Badguy said...

War of the mops in Greece means you had enough amount of loveable rain, though it seems your neighborhood roofs need fixing

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