Sunday, 16 December 2007

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (Duel of the fates-Part 3 of 3)

For the ones among you not in the know, this is the final part of a trilogy of posts, so you might as well check the previous parts to get the complete picture. If you wish to do so, just click the links below:


Part 1

Part 2


On with the festivities of
part 3 then...


The shop assistant stared at me for a second like a man wanting to confess a really dark secret. He eyed my priced possession with dismay before unleashing his verbal spikes towards my way... The following conversation ensued between a consumer in a shopping frenzy and a shop assistant knowing what is what...:

Shop Assistant (SA) : Is that the Xbox360 that goes for 299 Euros?

Deadpoolite (DP) : Xbox360 proud owner reporting for duty, sir, yes sir!

SA: Not so fast son... there is something you should know about this particular Xbox360...

DP: Is it really an Xbox with an Xbox360 faceplate ? Speak man, speak or silence forever!!!

SA: The reason that this Xbox360 is priced so cheaply is because it has no controller bundled with it!

DP (in a state of shock): What do you mean it has no controller in the package? It states it clearly on the box that it has one inside!

SA: Some malakas forced the box open and got the controller out so we had to price it this cheaply to sell it... Besides, information printed on boxes is highly overrated to begin with...

DP (infuriated): And when were you planning to tell me this exactly? After I got home and opened the damn box!!! I can pay for a separate controller but I am pissed off now and since decapitating you won't fix my mood, I am putting this back to its shelf!!!

SA(he could't care less): Okkkk....


I wish my "stalker" was as cute as Ayame from the Tenchu game series but no such luck... It was just another "horny" gamer waiting for his chance to taste some next gen gaming goodness. Little did he know of how things would eventually turn out for him...:)

As I was approaching the shelf with my now ex-possession(?) in hand, thinking what nasty things I could do to the shop assistant while in the electronics section of the store, I caught a glimpse of a threatening shadow approaching cautiously behind me. It was another customer that had smelt "blood in the air" or more like the smell of a seriously underpriced Xbox360 bundled with a killer game. As I put the box back to its shelf I couldnt let it go! I really wanted to find the motivation to pick it up, buy the damn controller and get out of that place. But "principle is principle", so I just stood there half kneeling before it, thinking what to do. As I was pondering the fate of this purchase, the shadow that was stalking me took shape in the form of a 20+ year old. The shop assistant saw potential and started marketing the Xbox360 to the other guy, while telling me:

SA: So are you going to buy it or what?

DP: Do you find it professional that you advertise a product and it is half opened?

SA: Look I talked to you in greek alright, you understand greek right? Take it or leave it!

DP: Look malakas!!! I am a fucking paying customer here, so you might as well show me some more respect or I won't be responsible for my actions!!!

SA(taking a step back): Okay...take your time...

In the meantime, the other guy behind me was sweating like a pig resembling a Big Brother candidate waiting to be evicted... He only needed a moment's hesitance on my behalf to "feast" on the gaming juices of this Xbox360. I peeked behind my back gleefully and looked at him with a stare that said : "Sorry dude, this is just not your day...". As soon as this little "gamers' mystagogy" of sorts ended, I shouted out my ultimatum that echoed ominously in the isles of the megastore:


The shop assistant's indifference and the gaming vulture's 'breathing over my neck' wouldn't go unpunished, ready, steady, aim, fire!!! I would eventually prevail, no doubt about it:)


"Screw this! I am buying it!!!". As I muttered these words, leaving the other potential Xbox360 owner nearly in tears (eat this you vulturing scum!!!) I grabbed a wireless controller from the shelf and went to the cash register. There was a queue there and since I had a lot of purchases (a console, a game and a controller) I left my items on an empty register which was closing down (end of shift) until my turn on the open register came.Shortly after, a woman in the queue talked to me:

Senile woman(SW): Why dont you use this register instead so we can pay faster as well...

DP(in a slightly sarcastic tone): Maybe it is because it is closed down, just a lucky guess on my behalf...

SW: But I see the young lady behind you... she is still here...

DP: Her shift has ended...she is just closing down the register...

SW: But she is still here...

DP(angrily) :Look lady, do you think this is my idea of fun or something, waiting on an empty register just for the kicks of it!!! I said the register is closed!!! Do we have an understanding...?

SW: .....



I wanted to purchase Assasin's Creed and after dealing effectively with the "Mrs impatience 2007" intervention I finally fulfilled my goal for the day! Yep, I am a man of immense ambition, no doubt about it, LOL!


The moronic moral of the story is to never piss an angry gamer standing in a cash register, especially not when the game he is about to purchase is called "Assasin's Creed"... LOL!!! The young woman whose shift had just ended smiled at me in an atypical "Thank you!" response. As my turn came to pay, I was in for another pleasant surprise that cemented my belief that this Xbox360 was meant for me and me only... The shop employee hit the barcode in the counter (the price on it was 299 Euros) and the amount came down to 254 Euros, that would be 50+ Euros less than advertised on the price tag! I don't know how it happened and noone seemed to care, so with the separate controller purchase I ended up paying 293 Euros in total!!! Yep, it seems that the gods of gaming had showered me with their mercy for my persistence to venture into the next generation of gaming at any cost:)

As I reunited with my girlfriend, who was standing a bit further back during this "register massacre", and before I started narrating to her my little "shopping adventure", I couldn't shake the feeling that Christmass had come early for me this year, in more ways than one...



Till next time then, take care all!






4 comments:

Calista*Was*Here said...

I admit. It turns funny, after all:)
Actually, I have no doubt...

However, I still try to find connection between Xbox360 and snow removing.

Yeah, I get it!

How many shovels one can buy for 293 euros?!

Don't waste too much time, DP...
:)

Jay Cam said...

purchase halo 3!!!!!!

i got it for christmas and it was spectacular!

merry christmas!

Professor Xavier said...

Personally I prefer the PS3. It plays Blu-Ray!

Anonymous said...

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