Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Blockbusters 2007 under the hitman's scope....

Ok, I thought about this and decided. Yes, my soul is scarred from what happened to my country but does that make me go all puppy eyed and gloom, bursting into tears just listening to the word 'fire'? Hell, no! Life is a neverending adventure full of interchangeable joys and hardships, it is what makes it interesting and worth living. So, personal garbage aside, I want to have fun, I want to laugh, I want to be as nuts as I can because I hurt inside, I hurt really badly and this is the only way to make the transition back to some sense of 'normal' more smooth.


THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ESPECIALLY WITHIN THE VIDS! (ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE THIS, ANOTHER SILLY AMBITION OF MINE FULFILLED. IS BLOGGING COOL OR WHAT, LOL!)


In that respect, I am going to go where no man has gone before(no, not Atlantis, you myth loving fools... geez...), I am going to try and slay the blockbuster monster of 2007 (this statement makes no sense whatsoever but at 2 pm , just prior to lunch time it is all I got, LOL). To specify, for the few readers that survived my introductory nonsense, I am going to write in my own unique way about the blockbusters of this summer season that I watched . It is going to be hard, it is going to be fun, it is going to be a post to raise some doubts about my sanity (nothing new there) and challenge the limits of human patience and endurance of my readers. A noble goal indeed... So, take your refreshments with you, some poprcorn with extra butter, look at the girl with the cute behind just before you enter in the dark room and enjoy:



Unlike a lot of people I love this scene... because I love the character of Peter Parker. I know that if he ever wanted to play it cool he would still do it in an uber-dorky way. The off beat sense of humour of Sam Raimi at full force. Way to go Sam!



SPIDERMAN 3


Go Spidey go (oh man that sounded so lame...geez...) : Ok, ok I have been a big Spiderman fan since I was 6 years old. I love the guy in a strictly non-sexual kind of way (although his outfit, as with all superheroes, is leaning towards 'uber-gay' in the fashion stakes, lol, sad but true...sigh...). At the other end of the spectrum, I was also one of the devoted fans that wanted to see the character Venom realized on screen. He is really cool visually in the comics and I was eager to see him on the silver screen.

Swinging through rooftops and skyscrapers... : Spiderman, spiderman doing whatever a Spider can (oh my fanboyism knows no limits, I'll need a cold shower after this post, ha,ha,ha,ha). Action, romance, great special effects and an amazing visual depiction of Venom. This movie had it all in spades... Thomas Hayden Church was the pleasant surprise for me since he made an impact in a very underwritten role, so all credit to him for injecting some soul into Sandman. Also on the plus side : the surreal use of humour from Sam Raimi which I totally dig, plus the cameo from "b-movie god" (and all around nice guy) Bruce Campbell which let's face it he is too adorable to resist even if you are made from Antartic ice (Wait a minute, does that still exist or it has gone AOL on us from global warming... hmm... so essentially that would make anyone made of it extinct... bummer...)


Trapped in the spider's web...: I am pretty sure whoever doesnt know much about Spiderman and his extended cast of characters would have a trouble following this movie. So many characters on screen, so little screen time for each... This movie is too 'soap operish' at intervals , I almost expected Mary Jane to tell Peter:
' Peter, the kid is not yours, it is Harry Osborn's, we did the nasty in episode 234 and now the pregnancy test results are out after 500 episodes...". Kirsten Dunst is also a problem... I have a love/hate attitude towards this actress. I either want her to be my girlfriend (Get Over It) or I am just annoyed by her sheer presence (Spiderman 3). I dont feel for her, she just annoys me in this movie, she is like the girl that every guy dreads to have next to him, whining like her life depends on it... The other shitty thing is that Sam Raimi doesnt like the character of Venom and it shows.... You can just picture how this character was included in the movie...


Sony Pictures Executives : Venom HAS to be in this movie Sam!
Sam Raimi(strapped into a torture chair): I won't do it! He is just a psychotic bafoon with overgrown tonsils!!!
Sony Pictures Executives: He has too many fans Sam! You either put him in the movie or that left leg of yours has to go....
Sam Raimi(Nervous): I love Venom! Let's bring this overgrown black slime onto the silver screen... and make him a C-list character that has limited screentime! Oh yes, it is going to rock!

That is the spirit Sam! Bend over to corporate pressure and destroy a cool character in the process.... oh yeah... you rock... NOT! Last but not least, the damn dancing scene in the night club with Peter Parker performing like John Travolta out of Saturday Night Fever on speed. And dont get me started on the news reporting scene... I think I'll use the loo now...

Spared by DP or down with a headshot? : This movie was enjoyable, but not what it could have been. I liked it a lot but it didnt rock my world and I think part of me liking it is because Venom was so cooly digitally created. Still, better luck next time Marvel... ok for the fans,possibly indifferent for the rest(although overall dollar gross of the movie suggests otherwise) :


Verdict: Spidey still dodging my bullets! - 7/10





This is more of a Jack Sparrow funny compilation vid and not a Pirates 3 vid. Selecting this took me more time than the rest of the post altogether! There are so many great Captain Jack vids out there but I opted for one of the classic theme tunes for this. A tribute to all those episodes of BBC's "the Benny Hill show" broadcasted on greek TV back when I was a kid and there were only a couple of channels available. Good, fun, more innocent times indeed...:)




PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3


A pirate's life for me...: Ok, it is a fact of life that I like Johnny Depp a lot. I've liked him since "21 Jump Street" and I still like him. I am glad he is elevating to superstardom with the Jack Sparrow role , he totally deserves it in my book! Whenever he is on screen the movie has interest and you know you are going to crack the occassional smile or even laugh. What can I do, "us" wackjobs have our own code of honour, eh Jack? He, he, he... This movie is action packed , it doesnt rest for a moment, it has a huge budget and you can tell since every single penny of it is on the screen (too bad it isnt in my pocket though...lol). From a visual standpoint top marks...


Stop shooting at me with your cannons damn Pirates!!!: I got a confession to make this movie really tired me out... Epic battle, after epic battle, pointless characters uttering even more pointless script lines... and the actual movie is too long for what it is... Out of the supporting cast only Geoffrey Rush escapes with some dignity intact, while Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom have as much sexual chemistry together as George W. Bush and Donald Ramsfeld (hmmm... what a disturbing thought...ewwww). When Jack Sparrow is "off screen" the movie stalls and everyone just mumbles mumbo jumbo lines like "Our way of life will end forever. The pirate crew needs to save the hot dog Den to survive or die trying...". Ehhh, yeah, whatever you say matey!!! Oh, what sophisticated malarchy indeed... Ok, it is a blockbuster we got it, special effects do the talking and actors sleepwalk, but not THAT much... Come on!


Walk the board and jump to the sharks you treacherous fool!!!: It was a numbing experience watching this. I enjoyed it for what it was, I felt really tired by the end of it and I totally forgot about it as I exited from the movie theatre...Yep, a way too long and underachieving ride... Just like the Bush administration then...


Verdict: Let's end its misery shall we? - 5/10
(If it had been a full blown Jack Sparrow movie it would have gotten top marks, lol)




I totally loved this scene especially the little dance Bumblebee does:) This whole movie rocked!!!



TRANSFORMERS



Robots transforming to cars and beating eachother up... yep I am in geek heaven alright!: This was such a good movie I cant believe it. Sometimes, if you dont have great expectations before you enter the movie theatre, it seems to be better. I liked the robots, I liked the characters in it, Shia Le Boeuf is amazing in it and surely a talent to watch for years to come it seems. I wasnt aware of this actor till now but from now on I'll follow him closely(Dont worry dear readers, I am not becoming a stalker of sorts... too time consuming you see,lol! I was just referring to his movies, geez...). Great eye candy for the guys with Megan Fox and the other blonde girl in it. I honestly cant remember any other movie in the last 2-3 years that I have enjoyed as much as this one. It is just FUN! It is a really good comedy with robots beating eachother up... I know my definition doesnt make sense but who cares... this is Deadpool's Laughing Den, it is not supposed to make sense so roll with it:)

Do you have a screw loose you dear robot?: I really cant think of anything that seriously messed with my viewing pleasure of this movie. Oh, I can be a nitpicking fool and say that the story that moves proceedings is utter BS and the light political subtext is laughable but still, I cant find any major gripes with it. Well, one thing only, Jon Voight and John Torturo in "Transformers"! I mean there are worst things out there like stuffing the toilet seat full of toilet paper and then water coming out to retaliate (long story of my sinful student past, dont ask...ha,ha,ha,ha) but I am sure that both of these fine actors thought, prior of signing in for the project : " Great pay day, but where have the good times gone...?".

"Transformers kneel before me", says Deadpoolite your nutty master!: Very enjoyable movie! I am sure I may find some more flaws on second viewing but if the first impression is what matters then I can only give the damn thing top marks. Congragulations Michael Bay (Now I'll go rinse my mouth with sulphuric acid since I never expected to say the words "Congragulations" and "Michael Bay" in the same sentence.... oh what is this world coming to when you cant "massacre" a Michael Bay film, after all he is the guy who unleashed "Pearl Harbor " upon us ...eeewww!!!)



Verdict: Perfect Headshot! 10 out of 10




Such a cool scene it is unbelievable, all credit to whoever came up with this stunt, it is amazing! I have to say that there are better 'visual quality' vids of this scene out there but this is the only one that has the really funny 'self chatter' of Bruce Willis which I found very amusing:)



DIE HARD 4



Yippy Yi Kay motherfucker (infamous John Mc Clane warcry of sorts): Okay, okay, if you are a guy that reached "a sexual climax of uber machoness" (what a scientific term... I guess all those bioscience degrees I got have some value after all... oh my folks should be so proud of me, it brings tears of joy to my eyes...ha,ha,ha,ha) watching Die Hard movies, you'll like this one as well. Bruce Willis is visibly aged but who cares, he can still pull the "lone gunman with average joe mentality" persona in his sleep. Justin Long, as the compulsory sidekick of sorts isnt doing a half bad job although appearence wise he still reminds me of some sort of rodent (just cant pinpoint which one,possibly a squirrel, sorry Justin, couldnt help it). I like that he doesnt have conventional Hollywood looks I have to say (then again if I call a guy with a friendly face a 'rodent' imagine what I say about the people I dont like... creepy...). The bad guy is bad enough... the explosions are big, the stunts are insanely cool... yep this is a Die Hard movie alright:)

Damn! I forgot my bulletproof vest! : This is a good action movie but it lacks something. I dont know, maybe Bruce Willis seems a bit bored by the whole affair. The sidekick can get annoying now and then and the bad guy is like a bad photocopy of previous bad guys in action movies nothing alluring about him. Alan Rickman is still by far the best bad guy in this series. And then comes the infamous scene with the damn jet fighter shooting John Mc Clane which is absolutely ridiculous, I was too busy laughing with the absurdity of it all to watch what was going on. Another low point is that I am not currently dating the actress playing Bruce Willis' daughter in the movie but I'll get over it.


Shoot first, ask questions later: Cool fun ride for while it lasts. For once the enemy in a US movie is not from the great beyond or Asia, but from within which is greatly appreciated by the rest of the world trust me on this:) Bruce Willis kicks ass albeit in a more geriatric way (still great fun to watch him though) and the rest of the cast are enjoyable without outstaying their welcome. So, yeah, great action movie then but in this age of Bourne Identity and the new James Bond movie a bit of an acquired taste. Still, a Die Hard movie is a Die Hard movie so I can be as elastic as I want in the marking ha,ha,ha,ha!



Verdict : I never miss a hit unless I am stuffed with Taco bells!

8 out of 10




Οh, there are other blockbusters out there I am sure but these are the ones I recall fondly, plus it is getting close to lunch time in Greece and I am a sucker for prioritizing:)


Some complementary tidbits before I leave you:


- I typed this in like 20-25 mins which must be a new personal best timewise and a new blogging low quality wise, LOL!!! The best (or worst depending on perspective , lol) is yet to come friends.

-I got a couple of Bush jokes in there, so what is new... they are funny and I am mad... it is just a match made in heaven:) I got a couple of American readers maybe more out there and I just want to tell them to "brush up their sense of humour" and leave the deep political subcontext out of my blog entries. My country is on fire so I couldnt care less about worldwide politics at the moment... I just dont want people to be insulted it is not my intention.

- This post felt so insanely liberating after the mayhem of the past days. I witnessed enough human tragedy to last me a lifetime, so I needed to let some steam out in my own insanely humourous(?) way. I can imagine worse ways to to channel one's frustration but I chose to do something fun(to me at least). And that is that really...



Take care of yourselves and talk to ya soon!














11 comments:

Zhu said...

I saw Spiderman, Transformer and the Pirates and like them all. Even the Pirate was fun - and I didn't like the two other ones.

Are the movies dubbed in Greece (like in France) or are they subtitled ? Just curious.

Hope everything is better in Greece now... ;)

joen05 said...

Great look at the Summer Blockbusters. I have to admit I didn't see all of them, but I really wish I had. Your clips helped though, since we don't have some of them at my theatre anymore!

joen05 said...

wow, I can't believe we posted at the same time!

Deadpoolite said...

@Zhu

In Greece the movies are shown with their original audio intact using subtitles. When, I went to Paris (oh so many years ago) I couldnt believe my ears watching Arnold Scwartzeneger talk French on a movie:) Oh, the Governator using the language of love to terminate wrong-doers (I am not sure if it was his guns or the dubbing voice that was doing the terminating, lol). His movies were elevated to a whole new level of absurdity after that:).

Cant remember which movie it was though:)

Some fires still raging here in Greece.This situation has become painfully ridiculous to the point of totally absurd... I really dont have the stamina to cry or feel sorry anymore I am just emotionally numb as far as this issue is concerned...

Thanks for asking friend.

@joen05

Glad you liked it:)

As for the timing thing, it must be some kind of worldwide conspiracy of the movie loving people for sure... Some great supernatural forces of movie viewing are at work here and we are just pawns in a greater scheme:)

And yes I am joking:)

Take care!

Shan said...

DIE 4 FOR LIFE!!!!

OMG, that was fucking sweet ass movie!!

Bruce Willis is fucking awesome!!

Paper Fan Club said...

So glad to hear that life is very slowly returning to "normal" for you. No doubt it will be a long recovery process... best wishes.

I thought the '07 blockbusters were lackluster. Lots of hype, but they couldn't top their previous versions. The only one I actually liked just as much as the rest of the franchise was Shrek 3!

Calista said...

I wasn't see any movie since I started blogging. When I was last time in the cinema?!
Dunno for sure.

Am I qualified to say anything?

Yeah, I am. Because I live in my own world and I'm always different and always non fitting. When I started high school, I was the only girl in my class:)
When I joined mushroom association, people of 80yr made average:)
I'm the only vegetarian in radius of...I didn't meet any in my community:)
There is more, but we talk about movies, right?!

Well, when I saw Wentworth Miller, Prison Break star,I realized something.

Take care,
never villain, always my cyber hero!
:)

Deadpoolite said...

@Shan

Yes it was, now shut up, LOL!

Thanks for the comment friend (You know you really bring the best out of me, you really do, the best split personality disorder that is, LOL)

@Paper Fan Club

I havent watched that one yet I am afraid. Oh, well it will be soon out on DVD so no sweat:)

Thanks for the comment.

@Calista

So I am a cyberhero now...Cool!!! Move out Spiderman here comes, Wisecrackman!!!

Oh that was so lame... it really was... I used to have a nice twisted sense of humour and then my readers came along and proved to be crazier than me:) Oh, well I love them all the same ,heh!

As I say "what is a little insanity among friends:)"

Calista said...

:))))))

dunno said...

spiderman was good,spiderman 2 was bad but spiderman 3 was out of this world,in the worst possible way.i thought it was a terrible waste of money.the movie had no plot,just a million stories settled all together to make an unfitting quilt.the script was terrible filled with the tackiest of tacky lines,which became even worse combined with the poor acting.there was absolutely no chemistry between Tobey and Kirsten,who are sure to be up for the razzies this year.spiderman crying all the time,making the hero a complete wuss and giving the audience the biggest laugh i've even heard whilst on movies.

the whole movie in all aspects seemed to fall apart in every possible way,and the producers had no shame to turn spidey into a parody.i mean c'mon... the sequence where parker lost it completely and thought of himself as the greatest guy in town,was hilariously ridiculous.

directing was never a strong point for these movies,and that was no exception to this one too.

i was never a big spiderman fan,but this wasn't just a bad spiderman movie,it was a terrible movie in general.wondering how it got the green light in the first place.a friend of mine who idolizes spidey,is still crying for the disgrace that it was the last movie of his.

thank God for odeon free passes i saw it for free,or else i would have cried for my complete waste of money. (i was still sad though about the waste of my free pass)

Deadpoolite said...

@calista

I second that sentiment. :)))). Good day girl!

@dunno

Dude are you nuts? I mean do you have a deathwish or something? You come to my blog to talk bad about something Spiderman related. I 've been following his bloody adventures since I was 6 years old!!! My fanboyism knows no boundaries!

So, I' ll let this one slip by. I'll take it that you were under the influence of some alcohol or really wanted to let some steam off:)

And what was that? Sam Raimi not a good director visually? Ok, there is definitely something off with you today:)

Spiderman 2 , a 'bad movie'? I am one step from ending your misery with a verbal headshot here... So make your peace watching all the Al Pacino movies you can watch, I am coming for ya!!!

I am sure you are used to my DP sense of humour by now Dunno:)

Have a great week friend!