Monday, 19 November 2007

Blogging my on-line existence away...(a.k.a. Any news from the rest of the Net?)

I used to surf the net you know... Being an average user of the world wide web passing the time in various websites, finding information, burning - irreversibly- valuable brain cells in the process... It was a solid on-line existence plagued by the occassional on-line purchase, some chatting on MSN, reading reviews of videogames and movies, downloading some sexy desktop themes(yeah I am male, what a freaking surprise I mean surely this one you haven't heard before right? LOL) .Generally I was being so cliched at using this medium that if I was any more cliched at doing so, I would have probably been locked up by the cliche police in an indestructible cell and the key would have been thrown to the fishes (or to Jay Cam, I don't know what is a worse fate for a key to be honest, LOL).

DP getting ready to blog... Ah, it is so cool to witness a true craftsman of the blog arts just before he enters 'blogging mayhem' mode:)

Then one fateful day where cosmic fates made a wager on my back I was introduced to the wonderful world of blogging.... At the beginning it all seemed exciting enough... It was all about me writing to an invisible and, back then, non-existing readership with my only guide being some misled confidence that I have a decent sense of humour (oh the arrogance of some people...LOL) .Furthermore, I made a self imposed goal of sorts to approach whatever interested me, be it little past times of mine, daily life and whatever my little peanut sized brain could grasp, with a vitriolic sense of humour. High on the list has always been to write some original content in which I would take an ordinary event, distort and twist it in such a way that it would seem like the next installation of Star Wars (not again....NOOOO... enough of grown up people sword fighting using multicoloured lamps and saying lines like "the republic will not left this malarchy pass, let's pointlessly sleepwalk through 3 movies doing mosquito sounds with our swords without passing out with laughter from the absurdity of it all...).

So yeah, I love writing and making people smile and occassionaly think, while not sustaining any sort of permanent brain damage. There I was then, building my two blogs piece by piece , writing, designing, sleeping on the keyboard or littering it with bread crumbs from munching sandwiches as elegantly as a beaver 'processing' wood. Little did I know that this blogging habit of mine would become this self imposed 'dictator' of my on-line experience, throwing all other on-line habits of mine into a bottomless pit with killer precision (manic and sadistic laughter ensues but budget restrictions dictate that this seamless audio experience will never reach your ears, just take my word for it, LOL).

Of course as you will read later on, as blogging takes its toll on your favourite Merc with a mouth, big chunks of his sanity depart with each passing stroke of the keyboard. After all what is a little insanity among friends? :)

Let me elaborate on the above issue with such grave seriousness that it will set a new all time low for the concept. We got a handsome devil (that would be me, oh the genes have been kind to this modest greek madman, the wacky genes that is, heh), two blogs, lots of ideas, around 40 + links in both blogs and a contract with his conciousness not to bore people to death with his writing(which is a hard, if not impossible, task indeed, LOL). Let's check the equipment needed for the suicide mission that is writing in my blogs: Killer wit CHECK, insanity meter peaking CHECK, creative juices flowing nearly drowning their owner in the process CHECK, open mindness CHECK, a lot of other qualities that I won't name simply because leaving my readers' brains in an almost vegetative state isn't what it was cracked up to be anymore CHECK. In all honesty, writing is easy enough, it comes naturally to me: Brain dictates the words, fingers do the typing, mouth(occassionally the shirt as well) drinking coffee , all parts of a well-oiled 'wacktastic machine' of thought and blogging mayhem. At some point, the text is ready and then comes the part where you need to add pictures or vids or whatever to it , so people will take a mental breather between pointless line after pointless line. Plus it keeps people from wondering what went wrong with their lives and they ended up as a bunch of blogging exiles willingly reading the mumbles of a well intended but let's face it, half mad greek individual.

After the 'laborious' process of getting the post on-line, my brain cells are "on strike" from the extra over time. As fate dictates it, another realisation hits me hard (not as hard as a Stallone macho punch line in 'Rambo 4' but hard enough to be considered a close second). I got to visit other people's blogs and, wait a minute, I have to comment in them as well! I mean blogging is a sadistic monster indeed isn't it? So, I open Google Reader only to be faced with the harsh reality that like me, other people around Greece or around the globe in general just won't shut up(yeah I know the PR strategy of this blog just went out of the window, didn't it, LOL). People write and they don't just write, they expect other people to read what they write and comment on it as well. This neverending cycle of reading and commenting is so staple to blogging as is my constant need to shoot zombies in Resident Evil. It is equally fun and really interesting but let's face it, it lacks the punch of a shotgun headshot to a Capcom branded zombie. Yeah there is no substitute from the geeky, albeit sickening, pleasure of blowing a zombie's brain to smitherins (yeah I am "romantic" like that, lol).

For once a video of a Resident Evil game that I haven't played yet. Come on Umbrella Chronicles, don't disappoint, please!!!

So, I am done with posting, I am done with commenting on other people's blogs (hey someone has to verbally abuse the blogging masses right? LOL) thus I have the rest of the daylight filled day to browse the net with all my majestic...eeehhh... browsing skills(?) at full force, right? Well, not exactly...LOL. By the time I even start considering that there is the rest of the Web "out there" all at the palm of my hand, ready for it to be molest... eehhh.... to be used by yours truly, another terrorizing realisation sinks in my psyche (have no fear dear readers, I am not out of M and Ms since that would qualify as an all out personal tragedy, LOL). Thing is, after the blogging overtime I am exhausted! My eyes are on fire (think dracula without the blood sucking tendencies and you got the picture...), I want to go out, I want to break free , I want to do anything else BUT stay in front of the damn PC screen and do anything that involves a mouse, anything visually stimulating and me as an active participant (damn that sounded so perverted it defies belief, no need to applaud my readership minions,LOL).

I said I want to 'break free' and this video clip came to mind... LOL. It is so funny in its 'uber gayness' that it fits perfectly in this blog... That would be 'the funny bit' then, as Siryn would gladly testify in my defense:)

So was there any point to this post to begin with? I just wanted to write this as a moronic memorial to some websites I used to visit regularly, prior to blogging, and now they have been exiled into the back of my head (not to mention on the "Missing In Action list" of 'my favourites' on Firefox). The honourable list of past fallen URL comrades of previously frequent spamming on my behalf, includes:

Such is the nature of the blogging beast then and not even a blogging Merc with a mouth such as myself can resist its alures. The list of URLs that have 'succumbed to the inevitable' is not important but the memory of their IP addresses echoes in my internet browser's history/past visits option. And with this uber ridiculous conclusion, I leave you once more with a question roaming in your brains: "Is this guy for real or is he just plain mad?". I know, I know what can I do, I am a sucker for non-conventional posting and self sarcastic remarks, so sue me:)

Take care!


Jay Cam said...

lol you never make me laugh!

i only cry or roll on the floor holding in my vomit...


siryn said...

How can I defend you, my love, when you put this clip in your post?lol
You don't help, u know, but, what the hell, where I sign?:P

Calista*Was*Here said...

You're tired of blogging?!
Well, there is 'delete' button...but where and how would I find you then?

Would I go to Lamia, Greece and in the central point of the city write something like;

"DP, come out or else!"

What do zombies and drag queen(s) have in common?!

Jay Cam took seriously your mafia threat.
He is here regularly,so he is qualified for a key keeper:)

Let's have Turkey Party!
Vegetarian, of course:)

Muse said...

if i ever see me in your memorial tribute i'm hurling tortillas your way ;-)

Deadpoolite said...

@jay cam

Superior laughing skills dude, DP is proud of you:)


You know a woman has to support her man not send his male confidence packing, LOL! Oh well, I got to "try more" I suppose:)


You know Calista sometimes I dont know what is more surreal my posts or your comments:) The post is about me blogging and having little time to do anything else on-line.

As for the shouting bit, I am sure if you put your mind to it you will discover me in whatever hole I am hiding, so I will skip the hiding bit altogether... too messy you see:)


Well, you know, if they are "Muse made tortillas" at least I'll go down a happy Merc:) However you will need to unleash all your "tortilla arsenal" at me, since my ability to eat them while jumping in midair is truely astonishing hahahaha.

Take care all!

MandyPoo said...

I'm definitely in the same boat as you. I used to spend time surfing all sorts of sites and now the only thing I do is check my e-mail and blog...and comment on others' blogs. It's a never-ending cycle!

whatagem said...

There's nothing on the internet but porn. Remember that old commercial where the uy was surfing the net and a little box popped up that said, "You have reached the end of the internet!"

I bet that guy viewed a LOT of porn.

....Of course, that was before the blog explosion

Skittle said...

Okay, so I have to admit, my a.d.d. kicked in, and I didn't actually make it completely through the whole post. What I did read though, was enough to know that I too have abandoned all the other surfing, searching, and so much more on the world wide web a/k/a Gore's famous creation to blog, blog, blog.

Deadpoolite said...


I think this proverbial boat of blog maniacs such as ourselves soon will not be big enough to accomodate us all:)

We are totally on the same page here.


Heh, that was funny girl and no I hadn't heard of the joke with the 'you have reached the end of the internet' tag line:)


Welcome aboard girl! Ah, you know what I always say, "a reader that manages to read through half of the post is better than no reader at all":)

Well, I don't really say that but knowing my wacky disposition it will probably be a moto of sorts for the rest of my blogging career:)

Yep, we all like blogging a lot and the 'blogging anonymous' session is not far off in our future...

Take care!

Calista*Was*Here said...

Surreal, you say...hmmm...

DP, I'm the white sheep among the black ones.

I outline this... just in case you haven't noticed:)

I never miss the point!

[If I do, I hide it well:)]

Getty72 said...

DP? DP who? LOL!

and ya got Muse throwing food at you.... you lucky thing ;)

Where have all my insults gone????

To the coolest dude with his spiderman pants - keep in touch mate!!!!

Kindest Regards ~ Sir G

someGirl said...

Well, I know I don't mind when you don't comment or visit ...I hope YOU don't mind when I'm MIA for a while...Don't let THIS feel like a chore or you really will get sick of it.

But I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.

How about you surf the Net for a week or two (without blogging) and report back with your findings? Just an idea...

Shan said...

Do't they say cynicism dies down as one grows older?


Everything is up to you, whether you choose for it to be the way it is or choose for it to be something else :D

But I guess just enjoy what you do, if you don't, then perhaps you need to change something?


P.S. You've lost weight in your new picture hahahaha

Zhu said...

How did I miss this post?? RSS feed mystery...

Hope you'll be back soon. I have a tough winter ahead of me, think of your readers you insane man!