Tuesday, 8 January 2008

"DP reporting for duty sir , yes sir!!!"

Ok, let's get the big announcement out of the way first : "Sometime in early February Deadpoolite is joining the greek army to serve in it for a year's time". Now, pick up your jaws from the floor, stop pinching yourselves to see if you are awake or not and pay attention because it is hard for a non-greek to comprehend this(heck it is hard even for a greek to understand this utter foolishness, LOL).

First day in the army can be a bit intimidating especially for younger recruits(thanks fuck I am not 18...). Oh well it could be worse, one could be hit by a BUUUUSSS!!! Oh!!! That was painful....ouch!

In Greece each guy above 18 has the obligation to serve in the greek army for a year. You can postpone it for certain reasons, like health issues, studies in higher education and other reasons that would justify doing so. Eventually, everyone serves in the greek army unless they buy their way out of it(pretty expensive) after a certain age or they have some serious recurring problem that is not subsiding with passing years. Let's try to answer why this malarchy happens in my country and what its repercussions are for the individuals going through with it...

Why does Greece have such an obligatory 'army' joining policy?

Theoretically we are under constant threat from Turkey which is constantly messing with our borders and wants that little extra piece of the Aegean sea(Aegean sea is the natural border between Greece and Turkey) for itself, despite all international treaties stating clearly where the actual borders of the two countries are. Their fighter jets trespass in our airspace and out figther jets retaliate in response in 'virtual combat sessions so to speak'.This happens a lot of times per day and it is a neverending cycle of malarchy and ridiculous money expenditure for both countries. I have no doubt that our jets trespass in their airspace as well now and then just to make a point. In all honesty, the event of an actual all out war is negligible since Turkey is desperate to join the EU one way or another and they need our support since we are already members of it(this is a rather simplistic approach of the relations between the two countries but this post has no purpose to venture into such diplomatic nightmare territories, brrrr, scary... even for DP!). It is a fact that the rest of Europe doesnt want Turkey because in all essence it is a democracy in paper and a shady military powered regime in actuality. Regardless, the greek state has an active military obligation for all males supposedly because of the 'Turkish threat' but in all honesty in this day and era they just need the manpower to operate the military camps since permanently stationed troopers are not enough to do so efficiently. Anyhow, that is that...

They better not leave me guard the ammunition storage facility because it can get....ahem... sparky!!! LOL

Now instead of boring you out with an account of meaningless facts I would like to take a more original approach and conduct a 'self interview' of sorts (yeah I am nuts like that...). It will be more of a case of things you might want to ask me about it and my response to them, let's see....

Q: So when are you actually joining the army and what division of it are you joining?
A: I am expecting to be asked to join between February 5th to February 15th or thereabouts, the actual 'letter of recruitment' will come my way around the 20th of January(
and I needed some firestarting material for the fireplace, brilliant, LOL!). Because of my specialty (I am a Biochemist/Biotechnologist) I will probably be in the health services division of the army but that is not dead certain( I am no special forces material that is if for sure,thanks fuck for that, LOL!)

Q: Where do you serve and will you always be in one place?
A: First one serves in a training camp for a month or thereabouts where he learns the basics about being in the army (booorrriinnnggg, unless I get to shoot someone and make it look like an accident which would seriously up the excitement let's face it, heh....). Then he is stationed close or at the borders of the country somewhere for 4-6 months, then he moves closer to home for the rest of his military life until one is discharged.

Q: So will you be always in a camp or what?
A: The way this works is this. Overall, you got around a month off which of course you take fractured now and then throughout the year. Then again you got a lot of times where you get to leave for several hours if you dont have active duty on the day. When on active duty, which is more often than not, you live in the camp. Ah the life in the army, so simplistic in its pointlessness, I "love it" (no offense to people who have served in the army by the way, just my viewpoint nothing more, nothing less...)

Q: Are you at all phased by this development, are you worried, are you anxious, how do you feel?
A: I think if I went younger to the army I would be 'shitting bricks' from anxiety but now all I want is to get on with it and be done with it. I am not worried about the army thing per se but its repercussions to the rest of my life outside the army. My career will be in stand by mode for a year, my relationship is either going to get stronger or get torn to pieces and for a year my routine will be 'the army's routine' which isn't exactly 'fascinating' (but then again some blogs out there -none of my links thank god for that- are so lame and generic that they make military life seem , well, exciting LOL!)

Let's leave Mr Deadpool himself elaborate on how tough it is to maintain a relationship when in the army... Hmmm... I have a better idea... let's not!!! LOL!

Q: Hey how about some positive aspects of the whole experience?
A: There are plenty actually. I have the excuse of being lazy and not working fulltime for no jackass boss for a year! Hooray!!! I am bound to make some friends out of the whole experience since we are all in the same boat in there and it would be interesting -at least at the beginning- to see how this 'military world' operates and behaves. Oh yes, I am a nutty philosopher of sorts so I will be observing closely heh! I am sure the novelty will wear off soon though:). Also on the plus side, when you are a trooper every time you get back home everyone treats you like a King (no, not Elvis, LOL) so that is always a bonus:).

Q:Tell us now though, is this the end of Deadpool's Laughing Den?
A: Keep dreaming people... I am here to stay, whether you stay around or not it is your choice but I am not quitting blogging. The simple reason is, I love creative writing! I would like to think that this year is going to induce a permutation of sorts to the blog rather than end its existence. I am going to blog less often, firstly because of obvious restrictions/reduced internet accessibility and secondly because I dont want to whine about the army routine day in day out, that would be just annoying. So when in whining mood I will just shut up (I am sure some of you would like me to do this in a more permanent basis but this is not a perfect world we live in, LOL!) The fact of the matter is though, that I like you lot too much not to keep in touch, so whenever possible I will write and comment in your blogs. Just not too often but I will be around.

I hope the army guns have labels like these on them or my military service is going to be a pretty short lived thrill... LOL!

Q:Any last wishes?
A: Oh come on, I am only joining the army it is not the end of the world:).It could be the end of the greek army as we know it though...

Q: Last but not least, what is the real question here?
A: The real question is, not if I can handle the greek army experience but if the greek army can handle the 'Deadpoolite experience'. Poor suckers over there at the greek army, they will be soon entering a world of madness like no other.... poor suckers... :)

P.S.: During my military service all posts will go under an appropriate label since I'd like them to be representative of this period in my life. The name of the label will be disclosed to you later on this month. Till then, normal blogging service will resume as always, heh, you cheerful DP addicts, I am not done with you yet!!!

Take care all!


siryn said...

I hate the army that will keep you away from me for a year, but I really enjoyed your post, my love!
I promise to wait for you...

Jay Cam said...

oh yeah be sure to kick some ass for me!!!!!!!

someGirl said...

WOW! This is big news!! DP in military garb??? Now thats scary...

I'll miss you!

Zhu said...

Oh my god, I hope Turkey doesn't invade this year, cause they would meet one hell of a superhero! :D

I feel sorry for you. France had mandatory national service up to a couple of years ago, and lots of my male friends served a year as well. They hated it overall (the routine, the discipline, the hierarchy) but made some good lasting friendship. Plus, you're actually a bit older and qualified so with a bit of luck, you won't be shooting paper silhouettes in a mud field.

I served for a week (born in 83, mandatory one week service for both men and women). If you haven't, read that:

You and whose army?

MandyPoo said...

It stinks that they make you serve, but at least you are getting it out of the way!

joen05 said...

Wow, DP. Good luck with that whole army thing. It would get me to work out, which I need, but I don't think I can deal with it, especially being in the US. LOL.

Deadpoolite said...


Well I have a lot of faith in us and that we are going to pull through eventually. Regardless, it is going to be quite a unique year so I might as well make the best out of it:)

@jay cam

"Licking ass" request noted and taken into account and of course will be carried out in due time:)


Yeah, I 'll miss ya all too but I'll be around just not as often as I would have liked. Oh well, I guess you got a year to reset your sanity meter back to some sense of normalcy before I come back:)


Yeah Turkey is toast if they invade this year because I am a one 'looney army' :) I will read the post in your link in upcoming days.

Well either they are going to take advantage of my qualifications or I am going to be a master toilet scrubber :) What a skill!!! LOL. Maybe I should put it in my CV afterwards:)


Yeah, it is holding me back in so many fronts that it needs to be done. I'll be fine and of course my smile isnt going anywhere so dont worry too much:)


The army things sounds way more demanding than it actually is. All that matters is to be in the right state of mind while at it and filter nonsense out. So no biggie then:)

Thank you all for the kind words and overall support, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside (somebody give the man a tissue...LOL).

Take care all!

Deadpoolite said...

@ jay cam

I cant believe I wrote "licking ass" instead of "kicking ass" that is just HILARIOUS!!! LOL!!!

Well I guess a man needs to have a plan B while in a time of need, hahahahahaha!!!


itelli said...

I was gonna write something, but i think this is the wrong blog. I'm looking for one with no ass-licking.

Calista*Was*Here said...

Such BIG NEWS and I'm last to know about it?!
However, I could smell military... back in Summer yet.

So DP - in the army!
Your image of CyberHero, where guys admire you and chicks simply adore you, it might be sustainable in military environment, or not.

It's up to you DP, you have a mouth and a heart and if you show some physical skills then no worries.
Everyone would love you!

Firs impression counts, so give your best.
Just convince strict military people that you are DP with special power(s).

It would be easy for you, I know that.
Good luck!

Professor Xavier said...

DP in the army? I just don't see it. In my experience you just have way too much of a problem with authority.

No offense.

Muse said...

1. Don't push any red buttons
2. Tie your shoelaces
3. Bring an extra toothbrush in case you get latrine duty
4. Remember me!

Deadpoolite said...


It is going to be OK, I am not going to special forces or anything so I will survive:)

Thanks for the advice and the kind thoughts!


I will be running the place in no time so no worries:). Besides, at the moment Cyclops isnt doing you any favours in the leadership stakes either...

No offense:)


1. Can't make any promises on that one there is something aluring about red buttons:)

2. Noted and I promise I wont step into any landmines, cant promise I wont push someone though for the novelty of it... oh ok I wont just because you asked me to redheaded wonder.

3.How thoughtful...:)

4. It is more probable to become left handed at my current age than forget you. There is a handful of people that hang out in this blog that make me want to keep blogging and commenting despite the obvious limitations of the upcoming year. I wont be around much but when I am this bunch of people will be where I will always make my first blogstops. To see how they are doing, if they are ok and what is happening in their lives at the moment. Guess what, you are one of them!!!

Thanks for the commenting everyone and have no fear DP shall prevail once again when the time comes:)

Muse said...

news flash: Check back on me in 6 months and you'll see the same rhetoric.

nothing new ever happens ;-)