"DP reporting for duty sir , yes sir!!!"

Ok, let's get the big announcement out of the way first : "Sometime in early February Deadpoolite is joining the greek army to serve in it for a year's time". Now, pick up your jaws from the floor, stop pinching yourselves to see if you are awake or not and pay attention because it is hard for a non-greek to comprehend this(heck it is hard even for a greek to understand this utter foolishness, LOL).

First day in the army can be a bit intimidating especially for younger recruits(thanks fuck I am not 18...). Oh well it could be worse, one could be hit by a BUUUUSSS!!! Oh!!! That was painful....ouch!

In Greece each guy above 18 has the obligation to serve in the greek army for a year. You can postpone it for certain reasons, like health issues, studies in higher education and other reasons that would justify doing so. Eventually, everyone serves in the greek army unless they buy their way out of it(pretty expensive) after a certain age or they have some serious recurring problem that is not subsiding with passing years. Let's try to answer why this malarchy happens in my country and what its repercussions are for the individuals going through with it...

Why does Greece have such an obligatory 'army' joining policy?

Theoretically we are under constant threat from Turkey which is constantly messing with our borders and wants that little extra piece of the Aegean sea(Aegean sea is the natural border between Greece and Turkey) for itself, despite all international treaties stating clearly where the actual borders of the two countries are. Their fighter jets trespass in our airspace and out figther jets retaliate in response in 'virtual combat sessions so to speak'.This happens a lot of times per day and it is a neverending cycle of malarchy and ridiculous money expenditure for both countries. I have no doubt that our jets trespass in their airspace as well now and then just to make a point. In all honesty, the event of an actual all out war is negligible since Turkey is desperate to join the EU one way or another and they need our support since we are already members of it(this is a rather simplistic approach of the relations between the two countries but this post has no purpose to venture into such diplomatic nightmare territories, brrrr, scary... even for DP!). It is a fact that the rest of Europe doesnt want Turkey because in all essence it is a democracy in paper and a shady military powered regime in actuality. Regardless, the greek state has an active military obligation for all males supposedly because of the 'Turkish threat' but in all honesty in this day and era they just need the manpower to operate the military camps since permanently stationed troopers are not enough to do so efficiently. Anyhow, that is that...

They better not leave me guard the ammunition storage facility because it can get....ahem... sparky!!! LOL

Now instead of boring you out with an account of meaningless facts I would like to take a more original approach and conduct a 'self interview' of sorts (yeah I am nuts like that...). It will be more of a case of things you might want to ask me about it and my response to them, let's see....

Q: So when are you actually joining the army and what division of it are you joining?
A: I am expecting to be asked to join between February 5th to February 15th or thereabouts, the actual 'letter of recruitment' will come my way around the 20th of January(and I needed some firestarting material for the fireplace, brilliant, LOL!). Because of my specialty (I am a Biochemist/Biotechnologist) I will probably be in the health services division of the army but that is not dead certain( I am no special forces material that is if for sure,thanks fuck for that, LOL!)

Q: Where do you serve and will you always be in one place?
A: First one serves in a training camp for a month or thereabouts where he learns the basics about being in the army (booorrriinnnggg, unless I get to shoot someone and make it look like an accident which would seriously up the excitement let's face it, heh....). Then he is stationed close or at the borders of the country somewhere for 4-6 months, then he moves closer to home for the rest of his military life until one is discharged.

Q: So will you be always in a camp or what?
A: The way this works is this. Overall, you got around a month off which of course you take fractured now and then throughout the year. Then again you got a lot of times where you get to leave for several hours if you dont have active duty on the day. When on active duty, which is more often than not, you live in the camp. Ah the life in the army, so simplistic in its pointlessness, I "love it" (no offense to people who have served in the army by the way, just my viewpoint nothing more, nothing less...)

Q: Are you at all phased by this development, are you worried, are you anxious, how do you feel?
A: I think if I went younger to the army I would be 'shitting bricks' from anxiety but now all I want is to get on with it and be done with it. I am not worried about the army thing per se but its repercussions to the rest of my life outside the army. My career will be in stand by mode for a year, my relationship is either going to get stronger or get torn to pieces and for a year my routine will be 'the army's routine' which isn't exactly 'fascinating' (but then again some blogs out there -none of my links thank god for that- are so lame and generic that they make military life seem , well, exciting LOL!)

Let's leave Mr Deadpool himself elaborate on how tough it is to maintain a relationship when in the army... Hmmm... I have a better idea... let's not!!! LOL!

Q: Hey how about some positive aspects of the whole experience?
A: There are plenty actually. I have the excuse of being lazy and not working fulltime for no jackass boss for a year! Hooray!!! I am bound to make some friends out of the whole experience since we are all in the same boat in there and it would be interesting -at least at the beginning- to see how this 'military world' operates and behaves. Oh yes, I am a nutty philosopher of sorts so I will be observing closely heh! I am sure the novelty will wear off soon though:). Also on the plus side, when you are a trooper every time you get back home everyone treats you like a King (no, not Elvis, LOL) so that is always a bonus:).

Q:Tell us now though, is this the end of Deadpool's Laughing Den?
A: Keep dreaming people... I am here to stay, whether you stay around or not it is your choice but I am not quitting blogging. The simple reason is, I love creative writing! I would like to think that this year is going to induce a permutation of sorts to the blog rather than end its existence. I am going to blog less often, firstly because of obvious restrictions/reduced internet accessibility and secondly because I dont want to whine about the army routine day in day out, that would be just annoying. So when in whining mood I will just shut up (I am sure some of you would like me to do this in a more permanent basis but this is not a perfect world we live in, LOL!) The fact of the matter is though, that I like you lot too much not to keep in touch, so whenever possible I will write and comment in your blogs. Just not too often but I will be around.

I hope the army guns have labels like these on them or my military service is going to be a pretty short lived thrill... LOL!

Q:Any last wishes?
A: Oh come on, I am only joining the army it is not the end of the world:).It could be the end of the greek army as we know it though...

Q: Last but not least, what is the real question here?
A: The real question is, not if I can handle the greek army experience but if the greek army can handle the 'Deadpoolite experience'. Poor suckers over there at the greek army, they will be soon entering a world of madness like no other.... poor suckers... :)


P.S.: During my military service all posts will go under an appropriate label since I'd like them to be representative of this period in my life. The name of the label will be disclosed to you later on this month. Till then, normal blogging service will resume as always, heh, you cheerful DP addicts, I am not done with you yet!!!

Take care all!