Monday, 1 October 2007

Deadpoolite's desktop "striptease", you have been warned...


You know a thing I take great pride in is that as soon as my readers enter in Deadpool's Laughing Den they feel welcomed:) Love is permeating the air and they fall into a false sense of security right before my 'verbal bullets' make impact. Yep, I like my readers a lot , I am so busted , LOL!


You know, there are gazillion things that I could be writing about today, there are already two other drafts in my blog's archives waiting impatiently to be completed and unleashed upon my unfortunate readers. Still, as it has been the case so many times before when Zhu asks for something, Zhu shall receive:) Yep, I cant deny that woman anything (except from breakdancing on the streets naked which is a shame really but there is a little thing called "decent public behaviour" I am told, lol, sigh...). Anyway, the uber awesomeness that is Zhu asked me among other unfortunate "victims of her charm" (that would be her readers then, lol) to present to the world my desktop. This is all good harmless fun right? Well, it would be if this was some constipated fool's blog but this is Deadpool's Laughing Den people! Nothing is particularly innocuous in here.... not to mention clean and not smelly... damn that sidebar really stinks:) Anyway, before rocking your world with the uber awesomeness that is my desktop (it is a well known fact that next to the word 'modesty' in all dictionaries of human and alien creation there is a picture of me after all, lol) I have to bid you a fair warning!

"Turn your stare elsewhere my dear readers, this place is so... so.... so.... extremely cheesy I am really afraid for your well being."





This post is another crime against the fine art of blogging on my behalf... Will your torture ever end my poor readers... I feel your pain you know... I really do:)

But then again, sight challenged readers are better than no readers at all so check it out at your own risk. Hey, I 'll even throw in a health benefit plan for those persistent stunt readers (as in stuntmen, lol) among you that still visit this place despite the dangers for your sanity that lurk around every fricking corner. You never know when you are going to cross over the line to the LA- LA- LAND where people in white robes will we be expecting you with open arms... To see what a good Merc I am, I'll even give you a friendly shove to cross sooner rather than later and fulfill your long life ambition to be locked up in an Asylum cell with white walls listening endlessly to Bee Gees songs(the countless remixes of 'Staying Alive' alone will surely drive you over the edge irreversibly.... ). Hey, what are friends for, right...? LOL



The desktop to end all desktops... be a good trooper and click on it, worship its fine detail and anarchic icon placement... after all this will probably the last image you ever going to see as a sane person so you might as well give it a go and smile oblivious to the fact that the world as you know it is at an end:)


You know for the amount of hype I have unleashed upon you so far down this post, my desktop looks worryingly normal.... dear god! Do you think I caught a 'generic blogger bug' or something... I mean ME normal? Come on... this cant be happening... I still got all this endless lunacy inside me to share with the world (I'll call my 'Insanist' as long as I finish this blog entry, this has become priority number one... maintaining my insanity at all costs...lol). So my desktop has a background image of a ... a... well a squirrel really :) Nope, he isnt a killer ninja squirrel dissing justice to no gooders (if you ever wanted proof that I like Deadpool Comics this was it... I mean who else could mutter the phrase 'no gooders' without rolling from laughter on the floor laughing at the absurdity of it all, lol). So, yeah this squirrel is perfectly normal, going on his merry way, flirting all squirrel babes in sight, puffing the red dragon cheekily, smiling at the sight of nuts like he is on crack or just read my latest post. Yep, he does what squirrels do: walking, wiggling his tail, torturing Donald Duck (what do you mean 'that wasnt real!' ... you fools, Disney can't fool me, it was all inspired by real life incidents, LOL) and climbing on trees for some extreme sports extravaganza. Yep, squirrels are cool and fun and cute and a close second to Muse in the cuteness scales, simple really:) This picture was taken by a good friend of mine in London, when this squirrel just 'stalked' him to his appartment before eating some nuts there and falling into sleep for a little while... Oh that sounds so cute and cuddly, I think it was a wise choice I didnt eat anything prior to writing this post... ha,ha,ha,ha!!!

Top right you can see my music player in all its majestic wooden textured quality. Just because I beg to differ for the sake of it I am using Quintessential Player for all my audio goodness instead of the heartless monster that is Windows Media Player( I use that one for movies in .avi format though, so Bill Gates rest easy now, content that his bid to monopolize every variation of software known to man is still going strong, lol). By the way the name of the song playing is "I dont love you" by the Chemical Romance and it was frozen unintentionally (yeah right...) for your viewing pleasure,lol. You see my dear readers I really like you a lot (what do you mean you dont believe me... oh what is this world coming to where a Merc's word of honour doesn't mean squat...lol).



Guys and girls of this blog, I really like you a lot, honestly! Now come closer so I can show my appreciation to its fullest extent... just a little bit closer now... almost there...:)

As you can see the icons are aligned horizontally at the bottom of the screen... I mean this is probably the sanest sentence I'll ever write so savour the moment:) . So what do we have here starting from left to right....

First we got the "Mozilla Firefox" icon which doest need much introduction really. Let's just say that Internet Explorer is R.I.P. somewhere in my hard disk gathering dust and eating cyber flies (eeewww!!!), since I totally, absolutely, beyond any reasonable doubt hate it, LOL. Yep, Firefox is an addiction of sorts, there is something about those tabs that brings out the animal in me (either that or I had too much feta cheese during lunch, LOL). So Firefox Good, Internet Explorer Bad , I guess that would make me the Ugly then, LOL.

Next in line comes "Windows Live Messenger" which I have been using TOO OFTEN lately so it needed a shortcut icon as a budge of honour. People over at Microsoft are patting themselves on the back opening champagnes content on a job well done. Surely, if Deadpoolite is mad enough to use Windows Live Messenger the rest of humanity is doomed....:)

The we got the "Recycle Bin" ("
Kados Anakiklosis" in Greek, emphasis on "Ka" and "Ki" respectively, see I can be educational as well if you just let me litter your brains with my wisecracks now and then, I think it is a fair trade, LOL). So no earth shattering icon there really...

Then comes the "Cleaning up the desktop" folder which has all the useless stuff that I cant be bothered to sort out and delete in the foreseeable futute or ever to be honest:) Next we got the "Downloaded torrents" folder which to the surprise of my male readers is not full of porn...

Yeah I know I am "sick" like that, LOL. "Future Blog Entries" has no future as a folder and will be renamed to something cooler and less misleading soon, LOL. Just some MS Word blog entries in there, the ones I didnt type in directly in blogger as this one.



Half way there people... take a breather! Have a snack, take a leak, write your will, it is all good! This post isn't going anywhere, sooner or later you' ll realise you are strangely hooked to this insanity and continue reading all the way to the bitter end:)



The "Limewire Shared" folder has few songs in it and I am not deleting it just because the name has a cool ring to it... as good as any incentive to keep a folder on your desktop if you ask me, LOL.

"Microsoft Word" is another behemoth of stereotypical PC user behaviour so I might as well shut up, hang my head down in shame and continue with this post, LOL.

The next desktop icon had a name in the mould of "DSL boring icon" so I renamed it to "Get on the NET or get bent!" just now, LOL. I hope I still remember what it is for in a couple of days time... hahahaha!

Next in line is "Picasa" which I find extremely easy to use and handle all pics in my PC. Yep, Picasa is good especially if your PC is a totally unorganized and chaotic mess as mine is... Oh 'gods of pics handling' you have been merciful to this Merc sending Picasa to answer my prayers and M and M's sacrifices! So, for that, I thank you dearly and won't shoot you for the next 5 mins (yeah, yeah I know I am a "big softie" inside...lol).

"Utorrent" is the green thing with the greek letter 'μ' dominating (that is pronounced 'mi' and not "my" as a lot of english talking people pronounce it, horrendously torturing the greek language one letter at a time, as they so often do, lol). So what it does you may ask... and to that I would reply: "Eh... have you been hiding in a cave for the last couple of years with your only companions being a special features DVD of Hudson Hawk and a CD of Paris Hilton singing live promoting her album (although judging from Britney's -words fail me- comeback, Paris may actually have a chance at a solo career with the newly established uber low standards for female singers) ? (That is just sick...)

The last icon is a shortcut for the Survival Horror game "Obscure 2" which I have recently installed. Mindless teenagers killing off and being killed off by even more mindless monstrosities, I mean what is not to like, LOL!


An image of your future, maybe, after reading this post...


Bottom left you see the word "Έναρξη" ("enarksi" with emphasis put on "E", it means beginning/start, no surprises there, lol). The rest of the toolbar is pretty much self explanatory so you can be on your merry way now content in the thought that you havent gained anything useful at all as individuals by reading this post. Your world hasnt changed for the better, things will only go down from here and you might as well blog about it and let some steam off or that Asylum cell will become a reality for ya. Yep, I will visit you often there, showering you with pleasantries like "Back off you lunatic I am going to gut you and have a barbecue with your insides" (my zombie movies addiction has to be put in check sometime soon I know, lol) or I will just say "Shut up, shut up and shut up! Nice talking to you matey!".

Yeah I know what you are all thinking right now "Love you too DP!" ha,ha,ha,ha!!!

Take care and talk to ya soon!

P.S. : Have a great month everyone! I tried to make you kickstart it with a belly laugh or two and probably failed miserably, LOL! I am a man of 'immense ambition' what can I do...:)


12 comments:

Calista*Was*Here said...

I really must restrain myself!

I try, I try...

Hardly...try again...

No.

Then I MUST leave.

nick said...

um, dude? Where's the blood and severed heads? that was the complete opposite of what i expectd from your desktop! Man, you have really let me down. I am going off to punch something now, maybe a squirrel.

MandyPoo said...

Okay - in one way, your desktop is very normal...but in another, you ARE actually the only person I know with a squirrel on their desktop, so maybe it's not as normal as I thought...

Deadpoolite said...

@Calista

There is a little thing called choice... so essentially there is no MUST:]

Dont you love it when I get this pseudophilosophical, I mean I am almost sane when this happens:]

Take care friend.

@nick

Dude.... I thought you knew me better than that. Dont you find it really creepy that a nutter like me would have a cute and cuddly animal like a squirrel as his desktop background. I think it is terrifying... you cant even depend on wacky people for your 'severed head fix' anymore... Besides, some 'hobbies' are meant to be left in the shade you know... muhahaha

What is this world coming to I wonder...:]

@Mandypoo

I know... it is sick isnt it... I cant face myself in the mirror anymore. Would it make you feel any better that the squirrel before your eyes is a man eating cannibal with a knack for Taco Bells and a tendency to play Wii sports right before a kill/feast?

Hmmm...noooo...didnt think so...;]

Later friends, got to keep the appointment with my Insanist.... busy, busy, busy;]

joen05 said...

Man DP, I've missed reading your blog , you've been gone too long! My desktop is more cluttered than yours though, although pretty normal .. nothing too weird. I have a picture of a car there, lol. That's it.

Zhu said...

I'm blind in one eye and took it extremely seriously when you mentioned your "sight challenged readers". I shall sue you as we do here in North America.

Or...

Or... you break dance naked in the Plaka (sorry, it's the only district I remember of in Athens... well, in Greece really).

I must say I enjoyed your Greek lesson a lot (I mean, saying garbage can is really the word I was missing in Greek) so I shall provide you with a lawyer. And some clothes after the dance.

Will I tag you again for memes ? Hell yeah ! I know I distract you from your smart writing but this was a priceless post !

:D

whatagem said...

My goodness, you really like Deadpool! Do you have the Deadpool cards from Overpower? (yeah, I'm a nerd....Was recently outed at a party during an argument over which Spider-Man movie was the best. I really need to find a hobbie)

Jay Cam said...

care to trade links with my humor blog? check it out at http://jaysmoney.blogspot.com

want to trade? post my link and contact me back!
thanks!

Deadpoolite said...

@Joen05

You know how it is dude! You see a normal looking desktop and you think "Hey this man is no nutjob!". Then, my next post comes along and this little illusion of yours is shattered in pieces:)

Good to be back! As I said maybe I will post less frequently but I am always around!

@Zhu

Ok, here is the deal. I like you too much! As for the 'smart writing' thing I will let this insult pass unretaliated just this once. 'Smart writing' she says... HAH!

Your memes are always as good an incentive to write as any:)

Take care friend!

@whatagem

I am a fan of Deadpool what can I do:) Still, Deadpool is just an excuse to go all out nuts with my blogging efforts. Ah! Good old DP at your services fair lady:)

I have to say I am predominantly a Spiderman fan so you would be probably the woman of my life in some alternate uber wacky universe:)

Take care!

@Jay cam

I'll give it a shot since your blog looks fun:) Keep in mind that I dont just put links in my blog for the sake of it so unless someone visits now and then(as I do) your link will be sleeping with the fishes in no time:) Yeah, I am hospitable like that:)


Later friends... nothing has prepared you for the wackiness of my next post...nothing... it is time to be all out wacky once more:)

Muse said...

sorry but the furry rodent really takes the cake..lol

i had one of those living in my attic a few years back. I used to hear him up there, clawing and scurrying. I suspected he was arranging all his little acorns into the shape of a pentagram

Calista*Was*Here said...

That mafia threat sounds serious:) but DP has good heart.

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