"I never saw this coming", a lovestruck fool's wacky confession...

You know it still defies belief... In my system of life values, M and Ms uber consumption topped the scales and things like being sensible was a distant utopic thought reserved for 'normal' individuals. It is a given then that being madly in love (got the pun right...? 'madly', heh) was not a prerequisite for the survival of this merry Merc. Nevertheless, as fate would dictate it, here I am, exactly 7 months since I met the woman of my dreams (yeah I am that corny, somebody shoot me!!!) mumbling about it, more in love than ever (surely a sickening sight but this is an R-rated blog so deal with it like the good sports you are will ya? LOL). So what is exactly this post about then (other than a colossal waste of your time that is , muhahaha...)?

If you put a knife on my throat and forced me to categorize it (I have no clue why you would even do that but this is a nutty working hypothesis so roll with it...) I would have laughed manically (because it is what I do... being wacky and all... it is all good PR you see...) and would have shouted : " This is a crazy love letter to the woman who has changed my life" (too bad I can't say that she has restored my long lost sanity but beggars can't be choosers...). You see my ever suffering and pain enduring readers, after 7 months of being with this gal I just can't get enough of her (I know I am a disgrace you polygamic males out there but in all honesty "screw you what do you know" HAHAHAHA!!!).

Nah, my girl ain't a damsel in distress quite the opposite actually...but you know... I like to think that we 'saved' each other to some extent... Then again, I am Deadpoolite so I am a hopeless case beyond redemption by default:).

I can honestly say at this point in time that I am totally lost in this warm feeling of having my soul mate out there waiting for me, longing as much as I do to build a common future with me (rom-com screenplay writing here I come!!! LOL). I used to try and put all this into some sort of logical perspective, to try and analyze it, see the glitches in this seemingly 'perfect match up', control the exaggerations that come with being in love and generally put some sensibility in what is essentially an overwhelming emotional roller-coaster ride... No such luck... Regardless if I am as wacky as a hoot, if I want to deal killer blows to pretended seriousness and make people smile, there are just some things that are not meant to be interpreted by seemingly funny wisecracks or a logical train of thought. In retrospect, I can, beyond a shadow of doubt, state that I am more passionately "lost" than the LOST survivors on the island, I have no heroic ambitions to 'save the cheerleader(just my girl), save the world' like the characters in HEROES and I definitely don't want to lead a massive PRISON BREAK from the clutches of love struck hyper foolishness:).


If a common future is meant to be for us, there will be plenty of this for sure... Two strong personalities is all it takes... Let the swordfight and witty bunter begin I say:)!!!

As if this post wasn't corny enough and cheesy as hell, I'd like to overblow it and go one step further (which can only be a bad thing, but who cares this blog is a 'lost cause' as it is, so I might as well enjoy it... LOL!). The current highlights of my life are:

-Talking to her on the phone and skipping a heartbeat when she is saying something cute and cuddly...

-Having her next to me, sleeping, in the few occasions that we manage to meet...

-Losing myself in our kiss and feeling her love cruising through my veins...

-Feeling shitty when she is away, yet certain that she loves me at least as much as I love her...

-Hearing her roaring laughter ringing in my ears like a song that was written just for me...

- Immensely enjoying her teases and jokes towards me (and of course) appropriately responding because "I am Deadpoolite goddamn it and I got a reputation to maintain!!!"

-Hoping that our plans for the future will come to fruition one way or another...



Just when you think that this post can't get any cheesier I put this vid in, LOL!!! Great song though...


You see dear readers, this my gift, this is my curse I am a lovestruck fool and I wouldn't have it any other way!!! (I detect a certain degree of mazochism in the above sentence but maybe this is just me, and my ever recurring madness kicking into full gear, so I'll pass, heh!).


Thank you Vivi for a wonderful 7 months, they have made me greedy for a lot more!!!


Take care ya all and I'll be back when... (guess what) ... I can be back, LOL!!!


P.S.1: Oh, this post will haunt me for years to come, I just know it...LOL

P.S.2: If this level of uber cheesiness doesn't kickstart an onslaught of comments then I will ask Blogger for a refund...wait a minute... using Blogger is a 'free of charge' service... SHIT!!! There goes my conman career right out of the window...:).

Later.

A "nasty" mission briefing:)

So OK I am a big fat lier that overblows meaningless things in order to get some readers' attention. I am guilty as sin on all accounts of exaggerated blogging and loving it... Simply put ladies and gentlemen, I am Deadpoolite and this is my blogging Kingdom, where I make the wacky rules and readers check their brains out of the exit before entering in the wacky realm (I know, I know this is another one of those intros 'gone bad' where the readers are torn between shooting themselves or staying with me for a couple more lines, heh, stay with me people , you are too hardcore not to!). So I admit that it wasn't exactly a 'mission briefing'... I mean there is no bloody mission where I am, when there is no war at hand, right?, LOL. Thus, it was more of a case of a pointless briefing about various things, especially designed to " mentally sedate" (if not kill...) the unfortunate attendees ' (that would be me and the rest of the tortured souls present in this 'maelstrom of misinformation' , LOL).

Sometimes you can never be too prepared / too armed against human stupidity and verbal malarchy... It is just the way the world works:).

Let's face it, when a briefing, a lecture or whatever you want to call it, begins with how to drive, turns into hazards of various devices, informs about global warming and unleashes -as a last resort to grab attention- career prospect info upon you, only one thing comes to mind: "You are fuck...!!! Royally, utterly, irreversibly, mindfuc... beyond any hope of salvation..." Your brain turns into jello (for me it is its natural state so no new developments there, LOL) and all you can do is watch, hopelessly, as people around you fall like flies from boredom, some of them turn their heads around at 360 degree angles like that girl from 'The Exorcist' and the least resilient among them fall asleep like ODing polar bears in the middle of Winter:). Yes it was that bad... It was the briefing to end all briefings... It was one of those surreal experiences that David Lynch would have been proud to include in one of his movies... I am surprised there wasn't an urgent recruitment of new individuals after the end of this 'verbal massacre' that left people equally incapacitated, brain dead and at the verge of 'the coma state to end all coma states'.

Not even close folks, this 'freak' has a long wacky blogging way ahead of him. HAH!!!. Still it was a close call for my ever aching brain cells:).

The details of this pointless lecturing about things that 10 year olds take for granted and senile old fools still remember are not important. I won't tire you with all the foolishness that made my head split in two and dance the chicken dance before being put back together by the last strand of reason left in my brain (Wasn't that an appropriately 'Deadpoolitian' sentence or what..., amazing in its wacky glory , ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). What matters is that , despite the pointlessness of the whole affair, beyond the hardship enforced by ridiculous words and even more absurd phrases, Deadpoolite survived... I guess I am immune to extreme malarchy by default, I really can't explain it any other way ha,ha,ha,ha... Maybe the madness contained in my own head, part of it unleashed in this unfortunate blog, prevented the 'too stupid for words' reality from sinking in and irreversibly destroying the traces of sanity I got left. Who knows, maybe I got to thank my readers for being there, unwillingly (or willingly...you mazochistic blogging freaks... just kidding...ha,ha,ha) so I can unleash some verbal steam out and keep my wits together. Whatever the case, the awesomeness that is Monsieur Deadpoolite emerged victorious from this 'Hades of pointless lecturing' (' Hades' I write... hey those "300" inspired crumbs of audio visual pleasure are still going strong it seems... bummer...LOL) that seemed to be his brainless final destination. Nope, DP is OK, as OK DP can be anyway... Have no fear for the destiny of the wackylord, cause he is still going strong my ever diminishing reading minions:)!

Still as maddenigly cute as ever, or so I say myself:)

Till next time, be well and I will be around when my glorious moodswings dictate it...


Take care all!

Another 'fun' 3 hours... will the 'fun' ever end?

Last night I was on patrol duty between 3 am and 6 am (and no that doesn't mean that I was blogging non-stop between those hours although in a perfect world it should have, LOL). Essentially what I was doing was walking between various guarding checkpoints with another unfortunate soul tagging along (yeah I know... it sucks to be him... ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). The rules of "engagement" were simple (no my dear girlfriend not THAT "engagement", LOL): As I was approaching each guarding post the guard on duty was shouting "HALT, who is there?" (how original...). Now, I know that the proper reply on my behalf should have been : " I am Deadpoolite your eternal master, bow before me you mortal scum or I will make you laugh your guts out!!!" but that wouldn't be polite... Thus, I opted for something more casual and military like : "Patrol". The guard on duty asked me to proceed and after a few 'gracious' steps he halted me again (such spoilsports those pesky guards, no sense of fun, none at all, LOL) screaming like he was ODing on M and Ms (or maybe that is just me doing that....hmmm...this post is getting stranger and stranger, I guess I am as wacky as ever then, thanks fuck for that, heh). The guard said a number, I said a number and I proceeded some more (yeah I know, us, army men, lead an exciting life... lol). As I was ready to unleash "the ultimate wisecrack to end all wisecracks" the guard shouted "HALT" one final time (damn he is good and how about that rich flourishing vocabulary.... LOL) to which I replied "Piss off!!!" (nah, not really, in all honesty I muttered some password so uneventful and 'unfun' it is just makes me want to call the "Fun Police" to arrest those uneventful codewords and the 'geniuses' behind them, heh).

By the authority granted upon me by the fun police I am arresting all creators of 'unfun' and boring passwords just on principle alone... Gentlemen, you are sentenced to an hour of stand up comedy by yours truly, monsieur DP (a fate worse than death as some surviv... ahem, people say, LOL)!!!

Those glorious verbal exchanges between patrol men and guards were only part of the 3 hour 'fun ride' (yes there is more...so keep your wits about you... what is left of it anyway... LOL). Throughout the night shift, the weather was being 'playful'. Raining at various quantities, making DP and his trusty sidekick wear their generic black 'raincoats' (think a 'drag' version of Batman's cape and you are half way there...). So there I was, browsing the camp with my 'superhero' cape of sorts looking to bring justice to 'no gooders' (actually priority number one was not to slip down a slope and thus end my superheroish patrolling career on day 1, hahahaha). As we were adjusting our pace according to our stamina trying not to unnecessarily wear ourselves out, we chatted a lot, me and my co-patrolling madman. As fate would have it, he was equally 'pleased' to waste three hours of his life doing rounds for rounds sake, so at random intervals we were making pit stops trying to make time pass just by standing still (unfortunately I am no "jedi material" so that plan didn't really work all that well, heh...). One of the highlights of our conversation was that his girlfriend is also from Crete, Greece which made us smile with glee since women from that big beautiful island (greek ministry of tourism I am still waiting for that paycheck by the way...) have a certain 'glare' of sorts in the eye (some go as far as to call it ' a hint of erupting madness' and I think the fact that the equally nuts DP is dating a girl from there proves their case beyond any shadow of doubt, ha,ha,ha,ha). At this point I have to mention that with the first sign of lightning, we both removed our metallic helmet exteriors since 'DP roast beef' wasn't scheduled for the menu that night (I am quite hard to 'digest' as it is, judging from this glorious blog, so why not save the pain to the fools that would want a piece of me, LOL).



I couldn't shake that question off my head you know...:).


As the night was reaching its end with the two patrolmen banging their heads with each other, because of sleep deprivation, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the first night of many similar to follow... Oh, who cares bring it on!!! If I can take my abysmal blog statistics with a smile on my face, what is a little patrol duty going to do to me, HAH!


Till next time, take care all!

A chunk of familiar madness among the staleness...

Oh my god!!! What a philosophical title! Am I actually growing old? And if I am growing old does this mean that before too long I will enter this URL and think : "What the f... is this geezer Deadpoolite talking about? He must have some screw loose on his head or something, no doubt about it...". Since I still recognize this URL as a creation of my own master wackiness, I consider myself to have scraped through the inevitable senility of old age once again. But then again, I am not old but I will be one day which doesn't really rock your world as a realization, dear readers, but it does add one more line to this pointless post which is always a plus, LOL!!! Now that I am re-reading the title of this post (yeah I am a man that has 'peculiar' hobbies like reading the same sentence a gazillion times, especially if I have written it, hahahaha) I sense a strange air of wisdom behind my words. Either that or I have eaten something rotten and I just became aware of it (good thing that blogging doesn't transpire smell or flavour then, heh).

I am good!!! Still no apparent logic-infused side effects on this Merc:).

In case you are wondering I will be back in full military duty (probably scrubbing toilets or doing something equally 'brain stimulating' and 'military like', LOL) on Thursday, which means I have all the time in the world to torture my handful of readers with posts of extreme "awesomeness" like this one. Hey, you two giggling at the back... keep it up!!! My self sarcasm knows no end (unless I am stuffed with M and Ms which puts me in 'emergency toilet mode' but that is scary and I will spare you the horror, just this once of course, LOL). Hey, I just realized I reached the second paragraph of this post and I still haven't said anything extremely brain stimulating or remotely interesting to a third party... Damn I am good!!! I still got it!!! The truth of the matter folks is that I have missed this god forsaken place called "Deadpool's Laughing Den". I have missed its unique insane take on an even more insane world (yeah I know I am modest as hell, LOL). Anyhow, before I detonate the bloggosphere with the atrociousness of my self mockery let's move on to juicier stuff... And no, I won't be participating in a nude photo shoot, I am not paid enough you see.Actually, come to think of it, I am not paid AT ALL where I am!!! I really need to fire my agent...:).

Thinking about women in the army is like roller skating for the first time... You want to do it but inevitably you fall a lot and eat dirt every single time:). I can sense some 'girlfriend incoming' missiles coming my way, so a nutty boyfriend evasion manoeuvre is in order:).

Anyway, to a more personal and less -oh my gosh dare I say it...- wacky note, I am doing fine where I am. It will never be my 'cup of tea' (but then again I am no Englishman so who cares, lol) as a way of life and it does have its 'weird uniqueness' as a lifestyle. It took me several days to find a 'rhythm of living' (because I am always beaming with strange wacky vibes you see, heh) that I would be comfortable following under these peculiar circumstances. On the plus side, if there ever was a chance for extremely heterosexual male bonding this is it, since there are only 'traces of women' around and the ones present are higher ranked than my majestic DPness so I need to behave...(as much as someone with the 'insane genes' maxed out can 'behave' anyway).

At this point I have to state that if suspected of 'heterosexual malpractice' (don't you just love my crazy non-existing terminology, hahahaha) with another woman, my girlfriend Siryn will cut my head clean, so to speak, and that is always a great incentive to be 'a perfect gentleman'. Yes, my gal is a 'pacifist' by nature like that:). Ah, gods of monogamy have mercy on me will ya? LOL!!! I am sure you appreciate that this change of lifestyle hasn't affected my humour glands, if anything it has really elevated me to a plane of humourous existence beyond any visible redemption in the horizon (oh how I love "torturing" the english language, it makes my wacky world a better place I am telling you, heh).

Keep smiling because I love it when you do:). I am doing fine so no worries!

This was a first post of more to follow depending on restrictions, mood and time availability. I am around and I am looking forward to check how my blogging friends are doing. No, I am not irreversibly falling into the 'big softie' side of things, I just want to 'friendly torture' them with my 'venomously comical' comments on their posts (hey, a man has to have hobbies right? LOL).

Till next time, take care and I will be around when I can be around (I know, I know, you could live your lives without such deadly threats but what can you do...heh).

Later!!!

Last post till... the next:)

Well I am joining the military on Monday and I will be its faithful, if somewhat wacky, servant for the next year. As a result my blogging frequency will suffer because I won't have much accessibility to a PC or the internet. Still I will be around when I can be around both as a writer and a reader... And to a certain soul out there that was worried about it, I just want to say, "I won't forget you". As I won't forget the rest of the fellow nutcases that hang out over at this blog (ah don't you feel the love and respect that I have for my readers... it just oozes from every pore of my blogging existence, lol). On a more personal level, I am taking this whole military experience thing as light as I can, treat it like another experience and wait for the days to pass really:).

I really like the following song for some reason. It just fits this post for no apparent reason , LOL!





Till next time then, take care and be well !


P.S.1 : The DP counter top right let's you know when I will be re-entering the bloggosphere at full strength and not sporadically, so you can't say that you haven't been warned when the time comes:). Later!!!

P.S.2 : OK, I confess I really had to put this song in as well since I just really really like it. As for the content of the video, oh well who cares, it is at least colourful and playful :)