The 'lost' blog entries and other stories...

Everyone is a critic...

For a guy who has been trying to somewhat organize his life after the enforced hiatus of obligatory military service, I am not exactly doing a bang up job. Still, I am fighting the good fight on the job hunt front, while maintaining a relationship with Ms DP a.k.a. "Readheaded goddess" (a little flattery will work miracles on reducing the pricing of the upcoming engagement ring or so I have fooled myself into believing, LOL!!!). However, the recent disaster that has savagely "torn my psyche apart" (excluding the fact that I 've got no M and Ms in munching range which is probably as worse as it gets in life, period...) is that I have handwritten several blog entries which I just can't locate at the moment. Sure, sure I occassionally track down one motheaten page or two but all I got is bits and pieces of the actual "masterpieces" in the making ( I know, I know I am too good for words feel free to bow before my might and all that...). As I survey my desk for any "proof of write", I can only feel horror at the dangers that may lurk at every corner. Copies of degrees and CVs , mixed with crumbs of sandwiches long devoured and wrappings of supposedly healthy energy bars that stand as relics of hypoglaecymic episodes that never happened. This isn't a desk anymore, it is a war zone and I just lack the will to make things right, or maybe the situation is evidently beyond redemption and I am just cutting my losses who knows... I swear to you, recently, some things on my desk have begun to transform from inanimate objects to full fleshed life forms. "Spore" videogame eat your heart out, you hear!!!

Why buy a game to create cartoonish abominations when I can just type in verbal abominations instead is anyone's guess:). Ah, my awesomeness knows no bounds it seems... Except, when Blogger crashes, which is often, and a natural disaster at each own right, so I will shut up now and stop testing the patience of the Blogger gods:).

With the onslaught of other priorities heading my way and with blogging sidelined, at least for month December, looking for the aforementioned handwritten posts seems like an unwanted nuissance akeen to the last 'summer' mosquito standing, buzzing in your ear instead of the ear of your next door neighbour. The blocked nose, I am currently a proud owner of ,doesn't help proceedings either... Oh, I am becoming such a cry baby it seems I probably need a baby sitter more than a wife to be... (hmmm... that sounded kinky in some weirdly psychotic kind of way... just what I like then, LOL). As I am typing this I am half immersed in a pile of... (don't say it DP, don't say it...) papers [phew!!! this blog is still on the verge of an M(adness) - rating], CDs, pens, pencils etc. etc. It is surreal how I can make such a mess on a desk I am not using particularly often these days... I mean if I used it on regular basis , the poor thing would probably detonate in some sort of glorified nuclear explosion incident, out of frustration of being owned by an untidy geezer like myself. Ah the weight of being DP's messy desk is unbearable it seems, judging from the creaking sounds that I hear emanating from the wooden structure beneath my keyboard. Oh well, time will tell if the damn thing is going to come crashing down like a tower of playing cards or if it is going to go the hardcore desk's way and stand the test of time as the one desk that DP's clumsiness didn't demolish.

Surely you can't be THAT desperate and seek this info here:). And I thought I was mad!

In other stories, the job hunt is going 'somewhere' but not anywhere in particular and truth be told sometimes I think I am chasing my tail on this front . Having been away from the 'greek swing of things' for such a long time has unfortunately shielded me from all the lunacy of greek bureaucracy for way too long. Still, being the good hip (does anyone say 'hip' anymore? OUCH!!! 'poor word choice incoming!!!') life fighter that I am, I am fighting the good fight with a smile wider than Joker's after ending a weekly constipation drought with *ahem* highly "explosive" results (what a disturbingly amusing thought...LOL). Still, at least I am realistic about what can be achieved when I put my skills (*cough* my what? oh yeah those made up things that look cool on paper I mean, especially in Comic Sans, I swear to you guys they ROCK in Comic Sans) and my charm (*cough* yep, I got plenty of that, if you consider eating M and Ms while standing upside down wearing only my underpants ,well... charming, LOL!).

So this is my life then... a job hunting Merc without a gig under his name, in love with a beautiful redhead (with obviously poor taste in men but who cares, LOL!), near the end of my military service and with my humour sense intact (or so my NOW deaf circle of friends keeps nodding/telling me...). Oh yeah, once in a while I blog too... Ah, it is good to be me, minus the lack of any decent jokes in this post and the recently acquired invisibility of my readers (yep, I must have the highest number of invisible readers in blogging history only second to that of my previous post).

News Update 1: I just found one of my posts, hanging between life and death at the edge of the desk. Steady now, little buddy, come to papa Deadpoolite and it is all going to be alright.... Why kill yourself dear handwritten blog enty, a life of infamy and apparent on-line demise awaits in my blog:).

News Update 2: This blog isn't dying anytime soon... The only reason being, I can't afford the virtual bullets to end its sorry on-line existence... Oh well, there is always the next millenium I suppose...


So yeah, I'll be back, I always do, it is what I do and in great style nonetheless:) [modesty is for losers, you know it and I assume it... LOL!]

An amalgam of nothingness... just the way I like it then:)

I intended to have a pretty serious post in this space instead of this one, I kid you not. However, the cogs of my insanity prevented the revolting development of a semi-sane post appearing in this blog(phew I thought I was a goner for a moment there...). After all I got a reputation to maintain and let me tell you, it has become hard as frozen nipples (what kind of ridiculous metaphor is that?oh well...) to be a master insanist in these already TOO insane for words times. Now, one may wonder(one person that has way too much free time in his/her hands that is) what is the inspiration behind this post. To this enquiry I would reply : "None!" (yeah I am "deep" like that, LOL!). I just had to write something... In all honesty I will unleash some random thoughts of mine upon your unfortunate minds and see what happens... Yep, you are THAT unlucky:).

Check out those killer lyrics... Oh yes, this Merc has plenty of wacky tales in him it seems:). My poor, poor readers...

As I am approaching the last fourth of my obligatory military service a lot of issues raise their ugly heads. My life with my soul mate, my future career path and its hardships , familial peace and videogaming glory. Now, the serious stuff is for another time, today the problem is how am I going to finish all those videogames I currently own (yeah I know, I am a man of immense prioritizing you dont need to remind me... lol). Currently I am the owner of an Xbox360 and of a number of games that have recently reached a double digit number. If I take Gears of War out of the gaming equation I haven't finished any of the the other games since I wasn't even near the console for most of the time this year. As months go by, new titles that I HAVE TO HAVE become available, thus this game library is going to get even more expansive. And let me not start on the upcoming purchase of a Wii console next February... Oh the nightmares of the upcoming games for that one make me ecstatic with agony day in day out (not really, but I had you fooled for a moment there didn't I, LOL!).

No can do Monsieur Pool... I am on a diet... Bummer!!!

Leaving videogaming troubles aside, I am then thinking of my diet. Ah, diet... Don't you just love all the sudden deprivation of cool food and its replacement with badly tasting 'mother nature ' products. It is a common known fact that during this godforsaken army life of mine I have gained weight... Weight gain means clothes don't fit and one starts to consider wearing potato sacs for extra comfort. Still, since I am a good trooper than never cowers before a challenge (unless it involves invading brocoli and killer tomatoes... oh the horror or the pain...) I have recently began this dieting masterpiece of mine with the hope that one day THAT elusive pair of jeans will be refited to my normally shaped ass and the forbidden love of flesh and cloth between them will flourish once again. Oh well, one can only hope:).

I came this close to detonating the damn thing but then I suddenly realized... I've got plenty more to write!!! Yeah, I know, I am a blogging genius and all... Oh stop it... You are making me blush:).

There is also the small matter of "what I am going to do with this blog"... So many thoughts have crossed my mine about the fate of this blog. They have ranged from detonating the host server of it to irreversibly erase its sorry existence from the net, to updating it to a new template coupled with widgets that (what a coincidence...) million other bloggers out there are also using(top points for originality to all blogger s out there then, including yours truely , lol!)... All this abrupt nonsense came to an end when I resetted my brain using a nicely placed hit on the skull with my trusty sledgehammer courtesy of my right hand. After the 'star parade circle' around my head had subsided I realized the error of my ways and how ludicrous all scenarios regarding the fate of this blog were...

Oh ridiculously cliched fortune teller... What will the future of this blog be? Should I persist, this blog will be eventually encoated in M and Ms goodness you say? Ah... as noble a goal in life as any I have to say:)!

You see, this blog is about the content of the posts and about being unique in the sea of uniformness that the blogosphere is. It doesn't matter how many people read it or if they 'get' the 'tongue in cheek' nature of the humour on display. The purpose of this blog is for me to have some fun or share some of my thoughts at random without taking the whole affair too seriously(quite the opposite actually, LOOOLLL, as most frequent readers are painfully aware). It is a good thing that now I have finally the luxury to re-engage in this blogging habit of mine staying true to the roots that spawned the very creation of this blog space.: "All people are entitled to eat chocolate until they burst from sweetness... ". Naaaahhh that aint it, my misled reading minions, the following IS though: "It is good for people to smile and feel upbeat and I'll be damned if I dont give my best shot at making it happen while immensely enjoying myself in the process".

Nurturing a new post is a hard job you know... Hmph... Everyone is a critic...:).

With those last, ominously wacky, words I leave this blog once more, shooting all political correctness out of the sky with no mercy or aiming accuracy whatsoever...Yep, I am officially having fun again in this place! Wanna join the ride ?(if not you should know, that I have a strictly 'no refund' policy in this blog, hey, I am running a laughing business here not charity okay? LOL!).

Till next time, take care all!!!

Let's stretch those dormant funny muscles, shall we?

How long has it been since I last wrote something in this blog? Was it sometime around the middle ages when the 'holy blog(in)quisition' was hunting me down on charges of poor taste humour? Or maybe the dinosaurs were still roaming the earth farting and causing earthquakes as I was carving my last blog entry onto some dark cave's walls... Come to think of it, my last known post could have been posted around the time of the Big Bang when all darkness went KABOOM!!! and then all known universe and... ,Deadpool's Laughing Den, along with it (unfortunately for humanity but what can you do...LOL!) were created (HOORAY!!!).

My readers had breathed a collective sigh of relief when months passed by without a single blog entry on my behalf... Then one fateful day,(that is...TODAY!) the illusion of a DP-less blogoverse vanished before their very eyes... I am back, just like that!!!

I think you got the point by now...No, not the fact that I am criminally insane beyond redemption with an acquired taste for wackiness infused blogging. The OTHER point... It has been TOO long since I graced this insanely 'divine' blog with any new material (but then again this hasn't necessarily been a bad thing for blog readers around the globe now, has it? LOL). So then, let me tingle my 'funny bone' to test its sorry state. After all I haven't used it in a while and the old bugger must be as rusty as Harrison Ford in Indy 4 (but then again that was CG rusty so it doesn't count, heh). On with the festivities then:


Deadpoolite (DP) : "DP to funny bone, DP to funny bone do you copy? I repeat do you copy?".

Funny bone (FB) (Shoving its proverbial palm up my face): " Talk to the hand sucker!".

DP: "Oh glorious funny bone where art thou?" .

FB: "I am currently unavailable leave a message after Radiohead's 'cheerful' song".

DP: "Argh!!! The pain of Radiohead whining incomprehensible 'mumbo jumbo' in the most depressive way possible never ceases to amaze me... It does help their cause that their lead singer looks like a hobbit on crack... Dear FB why are you abandoning me in my time of need (of a good 'mad-scientific' laugh that is)?".

FB: "I haven't been funny in months!!! My sense of humour is officially more rusty than Stallone's 'acting' in Rambo 4 dammit!".

DP: "That is TOO rusty indeed... In fact that is 'comatose rusty' in the rustometer of the funny scales (what on earth am I typing in? LOL)"

FB:" Truth be told I got stage fright... I can't perform in front of a live audience or any audience for that matter...".

A man is nothing without his priorities... I live, thus I BLOG!!!

DP: " But noone reads this blog... Besides how can you have 'stage fright', you are just a figment of my nutty imagination and I don't do stage fright it is bad for my silky smooth complexion...".

FB: " Still..."

DP: " Have no fear oh once mighty, now 'chicken style' cowardly, FB!!! I will be with ya via all the virtual tomatoes thrown at us by angry readers having the bad fortune to stumble upon this blog corner (let's face it , a life shattering experience like no other... LOL!)".

FB: "Was that your pep talk to get me going again? Because if it was, it SUCKED big time!".

DP: "Flattery will get you nowhere with me!"

FB: " Heh... You moronic fool, that was actually minisculy funny in an uber microscopic level as well. Maybe there is still hope that you will actually make a half - decent joke one day... One that won't make your readers consider suicide as a measure of redemption for wasting their time in this atrocious blog of yours...".

DP: " Oh you are too kind... Come to think of it though, who lost hope so I can find some? Hmm... maybe I'll look it up in the yellow pages. After all they got pretty much every number stashed in there, excluding the Eva Mendes 'date her and mate with her' helpline number. I often wonder why it is not included in that big ridiculously yellow book... " .

FB: "Eh... I'll take a wild guess with this one... Because it doesn't freaking exist!!!".

Being low budget has its considerable... ahem... ' merits' and glorious side-effects:). Oh well, I hope you get some amusement out of the goofiness of my wacky blog-endeavour of sorts.

DP: "Are you for real? No phone service for actually 'doing the nasty' with babes like Eva Mendes, Kate Beckinsale and Rosario Dawson?".

FB: "No...".

DP: " Not even for Drew Barrymore?".

FB: "Nope. But who wants to mate with screw Barrymore anyway".

DP: "You got a point there...".

FB: "Ok then, can I just leave this absurd impossible conversation with ya to save some of my fictional non-existing dignity? Even a virtual funny bone has rights you know?".

DP: " Yep, you are dismissed! You can't go far anyway, you are part of my insanity oozing subconcious remember?".

FB: " Bummer... I had forgotten about that one...".

DP: " Now sod off or face the endless pain of another mega crappy 'funny' line delivered by yours truely!"

And with those ominous words the FB disappeared as it if it had never existed (which is actually the truth but who cares, not me for sure, LOL!).

No death-defying stunt is too dangerous to attract some readership to this glorious blog:).

Now that I have used this "quality" post to fine tune my wacky sense of humour I can officially say that... : "I AM BACK!!!". Hmm... no applause? No frenetic female fans throwing their sexy underwear at me screaming? No even a bloody standing ovation? Geez everyone is a critic these days...

Till next time, take care!

P.S. : I think it is about bloody time I visit some of my godforsaken links and plague their comment boxes with my witty banter, oh you (un)lucky, (un)lucky people ... I promise I will do so soon!

DP out!!! (Finally, I thought I'd never shut up, heh).

Look at me go after the outraged readers of this post had one line too many to read and reacted with force... Lay off the caffeine dudes and dudettes:). It is only mindless fun after all!

The post that was never meant to be...

Goodbye cruel blogging world... Goodbye non-existing readership of mine and pointless stupidity infused posting... This blog is no more, it has ceased to be, it is an ex-blog that has gone to meet it s Blogger maker once and for all... It was a wild ride while it lasted but my wacky powers have failed me at long last... So then... One more thing left to say before I let my blogging existence fade into oblivion...Read on at your own peril...

Oh come on I fooled ya there for a moment didn't I? HA,HA,HA,HA!!!!! That was an appropriately shocking intro to my first post since... since... well since forever... LOL!!! No way I am quitting folks, but still I had to oil my pranking cogs so to speak:). On with the real posting festivities then!!!

You know I see what is happening with this blog, I really do (when I am not overdosing on M and Ms and see multi-coloured bunnies with afros, dance around me to groovy disco tunes that is...). Because of circumstance and not having the liberty to do so whenever I want to, I rarely blog anymore... I suppose that is to be expected... After all, blogging has sort of de-volved in my list of priorities and has become more of a "luxurious" past time since I do not have the time to exercise it the way I want to (and no that is not by typing, wearing only my underoos hanging upside down from the ceiling, although you never know what my wacky future has in store for me, LOL). All of the above are solid facts but there is a nagging feeling deep inside that doesn't let go of my wacky psyche... I tried to shake that feeling off several times but it still persists... I thought I was going to be driven insane but then I realised that is my natural state so no worries then:). To cut the long story short I created a couple of conspiracy theories about why it feels off whenever I log-on to Deadpool's Laughing Den... So without further ado let's see what this sad excuse of a brain I am plagued with has come up with...


Scenario 1: I have outgrown the habbit of blogging...

The thought has crossed my mind you know... Scarce readership, not enough mood on my behalf to write because of circumstances that will persist until Feb 2009 and just plain lack of writing mojo so to speak. The thought of letting R.I.P. of this blog has visited my mad Merc-y brainstorms once or twice but it hasn't taken over pushing all sanity away (bummer!!!). Two realisations made me push all 'deleting possibilities' away:

1) I like writing too much and I love the way I am communicating my thoughts in this particular blog. This damn place has character and personal style and it would be a shame to toss it all aside just because of a passing phase in my life.

2)I like the visual energy of this place and for a guy who is not big on the HTMLs and XMLs of this world , Deadpool's Laughing Den has the comic bookish style that I wanted for it, although it doesn't deal directly with the subject matter it is inspired from visually.

So then, Deadpool's Laughing Den is here to stay('Hooray!!!' , or "Bummer!!!" depending on perspective I suppose, LOL).

The novelty of blogging seemed to wear off for a moment there but then... it just didn't LOL!!!

Scenario 2 : I have outgrown my readers...

This has been a long time coming to be honest... As I've been visited progressively fewer and fewer of my affiliate blogs I realised that several of them have ceased to be affiliate or even interesting to me. Several blogs have been either cancelled or stuck in a neverending loop of repetitiveness that really didn't add nothing to my reading experience. As I have less and less time to actually visit blogs and comment on them I might as well go with the ones that keep things fresh and interesting. That is why I've given a well deserved boot to several of them thus my links list has become significantly smaller and all the better for it (I like giving the boot, it is just one of those sadistic pleasures that my Mercy punk ass can't get enough off, LOL!). Although the verdict is still pending for few of the remaining ones (come on you blogging scoundrels I can hear you shaking in terror over my blogging gilotine so to speak, LOL!) I won't be making any changes on that front anytime soon (breath a sigh of relief you overhyped links of mine, the day of judgement has passed for the time being, LOL).


Scenario 3 : This blog is 'too unique' for its own good...

This has also crossed my mind and I thought of making the writing style more accessible to the average reader since sometimes the combination of 'proper english/comic bookey english/ english of my creation/english which should have never seen the light of day' can become confusing to say the least (more often than not I am like, 'what the hell is this geezer talking about' and then the realization hits me hard, this geezer is ME!!! LOL!!!). However, this latest scenario faded into the wilderness of my subconcious before it even became a meaningful thought... The reason? If I modify my writing it just won't be me and the whole blogging experience will become a swamp of creative stagness and a burden rather than a joy... The solution is simple... Seek for appropriate audience rather than 'change for the sake of change' which would be sad really... The time when I will get my hands dirty with promoting this blog is not near but I will do so even if I have to increase my wacky rumblings brand of blogging a notch or two ( now that is scary...LOL!!!).

One thing is for sure... My unfortunate readers will once again pay the price of their persistent mazochistic tendency to read this blog... New victim....eerrr... readers are also welcome:)!!!

Bottom line folks of past, present and future is, Deadpool's Laughing Den is going to prevail despite recent hardships and lack of time... The reason being simple: I like making people smile or at least try to do so in my own unique way.Plus the awesomeness that is the Deadpool character comic book creation simply dictates it, so who am I to argue with the head honzo of comic book nutters eh?

Take care and throw the veil of pretended seriousness away, there is no place for it in this blog corner (don't you just love those impulsive sentences of mine at the end of each post? Oh I am so egocentric I think a tear ran down my cheek just by the realisation of my blogging awesomeness ha,ha,ha,ha!!!).

Till next time be well!

Check-in with DP airlines at your own peril...

The flight of my dreams... It hasn't happened yet but I am still young, thus all hope is not lost:).

So blogging hasn't exactly been a priority these past couple of months, but then again for an individual whose main diet is M and Ms , M and Ms and more M and Ms until he overdoses on chocolate cuteness that doesn't really say much... But enough of this outlandish behaviour already! (well not really...LOL). I may be mad and a nightmare for insurance companies but the purpose of my blogging existence is to entertain the masses (even though the 'masses' may not be aware of my sorry existence... LOL) and I'll be damned to blogging oblivion if I don't deliver the goods one more time (what the hell am I talking about? Do you have a clue? Because I sure as heck don't...).

I believe I can fly like Thor, the Asgardian/Norwegian god of old!!! Well, not really, I am too low budget for that, thus I always book tickets with 'suicide airlines central' for a pleasant flying experience:).

This ominous post ("ominous" eh? I just wanted to use the word, so sue me...LOL) is spawned by my ridiculous urge to share the experience of traveling with a 17 seats airplane for a 45 mins flight. I had never flown before with such a sorry excuse for a plane so it was pretty much a suicide mission to begin with(but since I thrive on 'suicide missions', e.g. finding readers for this blog, I was treading on familiar ground so no worries... LOL). The good news started early for me... As I approached this 'flying death wish of an aircraft' the hostess warned 'us' - 'us' as in "the unfortunate last minute traveling suckers" that is - to come on board 'one at a time' because the stairs couldn't handle our collective weight (yep, that made us feel safe alright, way to go girl... how about fetching those parachutes then...). When my majestic footwear touched the first stair it rocked for all the wrong reasons but I am not one to fall into despair that easily... With the air of a man that flies with such disaster airlines just 'for the thrill of it' I entered the passengers cabin. To be precise, I squeezed into 'the narrowest airplane corridor since the inception of airplane corridors' and practically landed onto my seat after navigating a maze of spread out feet across the length of the aircraft. As I parked my uberly Mercy punk ass into the seat and fastened the seat belt on, purely for formality's sake, (let's face it, all passengers were so close to eachother the aircraft's name should have been 'Jenga on wings' or something of the sort...). Minutes prior to take off, a bewildered woman squeezed into the seat next to me and before you know it, the engines started roaring with raw mechanical power (yeah right...it was more like the equivalent of a mosquito buzzing loudly after a seriousy "boozey/bloody" night...).

Hey don't look at me like that... Any DP post is a reason to P-A-R-T-Y!!! Am I one cocky 'Merc with a mouth' or what? LOL!!!

The thing is that as fate would have it, this plane had air screws and I was "lucky" enough to be seated right next to the wings... And then "The Buzz", the glorious buzz began... The airplane started running like a seriously overweight sprinter (which doesn't really make sense as an example, since such a man would have had a heart attack right upon thinking to run not actually running... but that is a casualty I am willing to accept for the sake of this post... LOL). So off this plane went down the air corridor supposedly accelerating, leaving me to wonder if it was actually going to take off intact or piece by piece... As the wheels left the ground and certain individuals on the plane renowned their faiths to whatever religions they believed in (it is nice to feel safe in an aircraft isn't it? LOL) I was sure that the hard part was over. Apparently the woman next to me didn't believe so, since she was grabbing on her seat as tight as a constipated fool's ass right on the verge of 'exploding' (eww...). To let some steam off, she started talking to me at random intervals saying things like : " this ain't so bad after all...", " I hope we make it...", "this is one of the worst aircrafts ever or what...?", with every single one of her comments being accompanied by a nervous chuckle. To be absolutely honest with you (a virtue not too common for this blog but I have my days... LOL) I am assuming she was saying these things since I couldn't hear a thing... You got it my amateur geniuses of readers out there!!! The buzzing sound right NEXT TO MY EAR, didn't leave much option for coherent interpersonal communication... Oh well, I guess depending on your lip reading skills once in a while saves energy and is 'eco friendly' since noone is "voice littering" your unfortunate ears and the planet as a whole:).

This was no time for pointless Shakesperean monologues and artistic delusions of grandeur... It was a time to shut up and hope that the landing that would ensue would be the one we were hoping for... Don't you just love it when I am in such an over the top mood :)? Oh come on, you know you do!!!

So the short flight time passed 'idyllic' like that, between buzzing noises, prayers for a safe landing (or any landing for that matter, LOL), creaking whispers of bolts ready to burst and thoughts about death wills that should have been written but would never come to be. As the lights of our destination glowed in the distance, a collective sigh or relief blew like a breeze of fresh air in the aircraft's passengers cabin (either that or someone squeezed his ass one time too many and showered the rest of us with his gassy deposit...ew... and double ewww...LOL). As we landed, all I could think of was my girlfriend's hug and how I wanted to tear the aircraft apart piece by piece purely on principle... I disembarked the airplane with the annoying grin of a man that has accomplished something worthy of distinction in his life and I rushed to the luggage claim area. The crappy flight was behind me like a long faded memory and all I cared about was the welcoming kiss of my girl... (yeah I know I am in an uber corny phase in my life and loving it... it will pass in a couple of decades or so... no worries then, LOL!!!). Moments later I was there... "ask and you shall receive" they say and they couldn't be more right(I always wondered who is "they"... however I'll end this post before it ends up like a wannabe "X-filey" relic of uber-conspiracy theories and pointless banter on my behalf ha,ha,ha,ha).

OK then!!! Another post that doesn't make sense added to my posting account! I am sure some wacky blogging knighthood of sorts is not too unrealistic a possibility for this mad as a hoot Merc after all:).

Till next time, take care friends!

"I never saw this coming", a lovestruck fool's wacky confession...

You know it still defies belief... In my system of life values, M and Ms uber consumption topped the scales and things like being sensible was a distant utopic thought reserved for 'normal' individuals. It is a given then that being madly in love (got the pun right...? 'madly', heh) was not a prerequisite for the survival of this merry Merc. Nevertheless, as fate would dictate it, here I am, exactly 7 months since I met the woman of my dreams (yeah I am that corny, somebody shoot me!!!) mumbling about it, more in love than ever (surely a sickening sight but this is an R-rated blog so deal with it like the good sports you are will ya? LOL). So what is exactly this post about then (other than a colossal waste of your time that is , muhahaha...)?

If you put a knife on my throat and forced me to categorize it (I have no clue why you would even do that but this is a nutty working hypothesis so roll with it...) I would have laughed manically (because it is what I do... being wacky and all... it is all good PR you see...) and would have shouted : " This is a crazy love letter to the woman who has changed my life" (too bad I can't say that she has restored my long lost sanity but beggars can't be choosers...). You see my ever suffering and pain enduring readers, after 7 months of being with this gal I just can't get enough of her (I know I am a disgrace you polygamic males out there but in all honesty "screw you what do you know" HAHAHAHA!!!).

Nah, my girl ain't a damsel in distress quite the opposite actually...but you know... I like to think that we 'saved' each other to some extent... Then again, I am Deadpoolite so I am a hopeless case beyond redemption by default:).

I can honestly say at this point in time that I am totally lost in this warm feeling of having my soul mate out there waiting for me, longing as much as I do to build a common future with me (rom-com screenplay writing here I come!!! LOL). I used to try and put all this into some sort of logical perspective, to try and analyze it, see the glitches in this seemingly 'perfect match up', control the exaggerations that come with being in love and generally put some sensibility in what is essentially an overwhelming emotional roller-coaster ride... No such luck... Regardless if I am as wacky as a hoot, if I want to deal killer blows to pretended seriousness and make people smile, there are just some things that are not meant to be interpreted by seemingly funny wisecracks or a logical train of thought. In retrospect, I can, beyond a shadow of doubt, state that I am more passionately "lost" than the LOST survivors on the island, I have no heroic ambitions to 'save the cheerleader(just my girl), save the world' like the characters in HEROES and I definitely don't want to lead a massive PRISON BREAK from the clutches of love struck hyper foolishness:).


If a common future is meant to be for us, there will be plenty of this for sure... Two strong personalities is all it takes... Let the swordfight and witty bunter begin I say:)!!!

As if this post wasn't corny enough and cheesy as hell, I'd like to overblow it and go one step further (which can only be a bad thing, but who cares this blog is a 'lost cause' as it is, so I might as well enjoy it... LOL!). The current highlights of my life are:

-Talking to her on the phone and skipping a heartbeat when she is saying something cute and cuddly...

-Having her next to me, sleeping, in the few occasions that we manage to meet...

-Losing myself in our kiss and feeling her love cruising through my veins...

-Feeling shitty when she is away, yet certain that she loves me at least as much as I love her...

-Hearing her roaring laughter ringing in my ears like a song that was written just for me...

- Immensely enjoying her teases and jokes towards me (and of course) appropriately responding because "I am Deadpoolite goddamn it and I got a reputation to maintain!!!"

-Hoping that our plans for the future will come to fruition one way or another...



Just when you think that this post can't get any cheesier I put this vid in, LOL!!! Great song though...


You see dear readers, this my gift, this is my curse I am a lovestruck fool and I wouldn't have it any other way!!! (I detect a certain degree of mazochism in the above sentence but maybe this is just me, and my ever recurring madness kicking into full gear, so I'll pass, heh!).


Thank you Vivi for a wonderful 7 months, they have made me greedy for a lot more!!!


Take care ya all and I'll be back when... (guess what) ... I can be back, LOL!!!


P.S.1: Oh, this post will haunt me for years to come, I just know it...LOL

P.S.2: If this level of uber cheesiness doesn't kickstart an onslaught of comments then I will ask Blogger for a refund...wait a minute... using Blogger is a 'free of charge' service... SHIT!!! There goes my conman career right out of the window...:).

Later.

A "nasty" mission briefing:)

So OK I am a big fat lier that overblows meaningless things in order to get some readers' attention. I am guilty as sin on all accounts of exaggerated blogging and loving it... Simply put ladies and gentlemen, I am Deadpoolite and this is my blogging Kingdom, where I make the wacky rules and readers check their brains out of the exit before entering in the wacky realm (I know, I know this is another one of those intros 'gone bad' where the readers are torn between shooting themselves or staying with me for a couple more lines, heh, stay with me people , you are too hardcore not to!). So I admit that it wasn't exactly a 'mission briefing'... I mean there is no bloody mission where I am, when there is no war at hand, right?, LOL. Thus, it was more of a case of a pointless briefing about various things, especially designed to " mentally sedate" (if not kill...) the unfortunate attendees ' (that would be me and the rest of the tortured souls present in this 'maelstrom of misinformation' , LOL).

Sometimes you can never be too prepared / too armed against human stupidity and verbal malarchy... It is just the way the world works:).

Let's face it, when a briefing, a lecture or whatever you want to call it, begins with how to drive, turns into hazards of various devices, informs about global warming and unleashes -as a last resort to grab attention- career prospect info upon you, only one thing comes to mind: "You are fuck...!!! Royally, utterly, irreversibly, mindfuc... beyond any hope of salvation..." Your brain turns into jello (for me it is its natural state so no new developments there, LOL) and all you can do is watch, hopelessly, as people around you fall like flies from boredom, some of them turn their heads around at 360 degree angles like that girl from 'The Exorcist' and the least resilient among them fall asleep like ODing polar bears in the middle of Winter:). Yes it was that bad... It was the briefing to end all briefings... It was one of those surreal experiences that David Lynch would have been proud to include in one of his movies... I am surprised there wasn't an urgent recruitment of new individuals after the end of this 'verbal massacre' that left people equally incapacitated, brain dead and at the verge of 'the coma state to end all coma states'.

Not even close folks, this 'freak' has a long wacky blogging way ahead of him. HAH!!!. Still it was a close call for my ever aching brain cells:).

The details of this pointless lecturing about things that 10 year olds take for granted and senile old fools still remember are not important. I won't tire you with all the foolishness that made my head split in two and dance the chicken dance before being put back together by the last strand of reason left in my brain (Wasn't that an appropriately 'Deadpoolitian' sentence or what..., amazing in its wacky glory , ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). What matters is that , despite the pointlessness of the whole affair, beyond the hardship enforced by ridiculous words and even more absurd phrases, Deadpoolite survived... I guess I am immune to extreme malarchy by default, I really can't explain it any other way ha,ha,ha,ha... Maybe the madness contained in my own head, part of it unleashed in this unfortunate blog, prevented the 'too stupid for words' reality from sinking in and irreversibly destroying the traces of sanity I got left. Who knows, maybe I got to thank my readers for being there, unwillingly (or willingly...you mazochistic blogging freaks... just kidding...ha,ha,ha) so I can unleash some verbal steam out and keep my wits together. Whatever the case, the awesomeness that is Monsieur Deadpoolite emerged victorious from this 'Hades of pointless lecturing' (' Hades' I write... hey those "300" inspired crumbs of audio visual pleasure are still going strong it seems... bummer...LOL) that seemed to be his brainless final destination. Nope, DP is OK, as OK DP can be anyway... Have no fear for the destiny of the wackylord, cause he is still going strong my ever diminishing reading minions:)!

Still as maddenigly cute as ever, or so I say myself:)

Till next time, be well and I will be around when my glorious moodswings dictate it...


Take care all!

Another 'fun' 3 hours... will the 'fun' ever end?

Last night I was on patrol duty between 3 am and 6 am (and no that doesn't mean that I was blogging non-stop between those hours although in a perfect world it should have, LOL). Essentially what I was doing was walking between various guarding checkpoints with another unfortunate soul tagging along (yeah I know... it sucks to be him... ha,ha,ha,ha!!!). The rules of "engagement" were simple (no my dear girlfriend not THAT "engagement", LOL): As I was approaching each guarding post the guard on duty was shouting "HALT, who is there?" (how original...). Now, I know that the proper reply on my behalf should have been : " I am Deadpoolite your eternal master, bow before me you mortal scum or I will make you laugh your guts out!!!" but that wouldn't be polite... Thus, I opted for something more casual and military like : "Patrol". The guard on duty asked me to proceed and after a few 'gracious' steps he halted me again (such spoilsports those pesky guards, no sense of fun, none at all, LOL) screaming like he was ODing on M and Ms (or maybe that is just me doing that....hmmm...this post is getting stranger and stranger, I guess I am as wacky as ever then, thanks fuck for that, heh). The guard said a number, I said a number and I proceeded some more (yeah I know, us, army men, lead an exciting life... lol). As I was ready to unleash "the ultimate wisecrack to end all wisecracks" the guard shouted "HALT" one final time (damn he is good and how about that rich flourishing vocabulary.... LOL) to which I replied "Piss off!!!" (nah, not really, in all honesty I muttered some password so uneventful and 'unfun' it is just makes me want to call the "Fun Police" to arrest those uneventful codewords and the 'geniuses' behind them, heh).

By the authority granted upon me by the fun police I am arresting all creators of 'unfun' and boring passwords just on principle alone... Gentlemen, you are sentenced to an hour of stand up comedy by yours truly, monsieur DP (a fate worse than death as some surviv... ahem, people say, LOL)!!!

Those glorious verbal exchanges between patrol men and guards were only part of the 3 hour 'fun ride' (yes there is more...so keep your wits about you... what is left of it anyway... LOL). Throughout the night shift, the weather was being 'playful'. Raining at various quantities, making DP and his trusty sidekick wear their generic black 'raincoats' (think a 'drag' version of Batman's cape and you are half way there...). So there I was, browsing the camp with my 'superhero' cape of sorts looking to bring justice to 'no gooders' (actually priority number one was not to slip down a slope and thus end my superheroish patrolling career on day 1, hahahaha). As we were adjusting our pace according to our stamina trying not to unnecessarily wear ourselves out, we chatted a lot, me and my co-patrolling madman. As fate would have it, he was equally 'pleased' to waste three hours of his life doing rounds for rounds sake, so at random intervals we were making pit stops trying to make time pass just by standing still (unfortunately I am no "jedi material" so that plan didn't really work all that well, heh...). One of the highlights of our conversation was that his girlfriend is also from Crete, Greece which made us smile with glee since women from that big beautiful island (greek ministry of tourism I am still waiting for that paycheck by the way...) have a certain 'glare' of sorts in the eye (some go as far as to call it ' a hint of erupting madness' and I think the fact that the equally nuts DP is dating a girl from there proves their case beyond any shadow of doubt, ha,ha,ha,ha). At this point I have to mention that with the first sign of lightning, we both removed our metallic helmet exteriors since 'DP roast beef' wasn't scheduled for the menu that night (I am quite hard to 'digest' as it is, judging from this glorious blog, so why not save the pain to the fools that would want a piece of me, LOL).



I couldn't shake that question off my head you know...:).


As the night was reaching its end with the two patrolmen banging their heads with each other, because of sleep deprivation, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the first night of many similar to follow... Oh, who cares bring it on!!! If I can take my abysmal blog statistics with a smile on my face, what is a little patrol duty going to do to me, HAH!


Till next time, take care all!

A chunk of familiar madness among the staleness...

Oh my god!!! What a philosophical title! Am I actually growing old? And if I am growing old does this mean that before too long I will enter this URL and think : "What the f... is this geezer Deadpoolite talking about? He must have some screw loose on his head or something, no doubt about it...". Since I still recognize this URL as a creation of my own master wackiness, I consider myself to have scraped through the inevitable senility of old age once again. But then again, I am not old but I will be one day which doesn't really rock your world as a realization, dear readers, but it does add one more line to this pointless post which is always a plus, LOL!!! Now that I am re-reading the title of this post (yeah I am a man that has 'peculiar' hobbies like reading the same sentence a gazillion times, especially if I have written it, hahahaha) I sense a strange air of wisdom behind my words. Either that or I have eaten something rotten and I just became aware of it (good thing that blogging doesn't transpire smell or flavour then, heh).

I am good!!! Still no apparent logic-infused side effects on this Merc:).

In case you are wondering I will be back in full military duty (probably scrubbing toilets or doing something equally 'brain stimulating' and 'military like', LOL) on Thursday, which means I have all the time in the world to torture my handful of readers with posts of extreme "awesomeness" like this one. Hey, you two giggling at the back... keep it up!!! My self sarcasm knows no end (unless I am stuffed with M and Ms which puts me in 'emergency toilet mode' but that is scary and I will spare you the horror, just this once of course, LOL). Hey, I just realized I reached the second paragraph of this post and I still haven't said anything extremely brain stimulating or remotely interesting to a third party... Damn I am good!!! I still got it!!! The truth of the matter folks is that I have missed this god forsaken place called "Deadpool's Laughing Den". I have missed its unique insane take on an even more insane world (yeah I know I am modest as hell, LOL). Anyhow, before I detonate the bloggosphere with the atrociousness of my self mockery let's move on to juicier stuff... And no, I won't be participating in a nude photo shoot, I am not paid enough you see.Actually, come to think of it, I am not paid AT ALL where I am!!! I really need to fire my agent...:).

Thinking about women in the army is like roller skating for the first time... You want to do it but inevitably you fall a lot and eat dirt every single time:). I can sense some 'girlfriend incoming' missiles coming my way, so a nutty boyfriend evasion manoeuvre is in order:).

Anyway, to a more personal and less -oh my gosh dare I say it...- wacky note, I am doing fine where I am. It will never be my 'cup of tea' (but then again I am no Englishman so who cares, lol) as a way of life and it does have its 'weird uniqueness' as a lifestyle. It took me several days to find a 'rhythm of living' (because I am always beaming with strange wacky vibes you see, heh) that I would be comfortable following under these peculiar circumstances. On the plus side, if there ever was a chance for extremely heterosexual male bonding this is it, since there are only 'traces of women' around and the ones present are higher ranked than my majestic DPness so I need to behave...(as much as someone with the 'insane genes' maxed out can 'behave' anyway).

At this point I have to state that if suspected of 'heterosexual malpractice' (don't you just love my crazy non-existing terminology, hahahaha) with another woman, my girlfriend Siryn will cut my head clean, so to speak, and that is always a great incentive to be 'a perfect gentleman'. Yes, my gal is a 'pacifist' by nature like that:). Ah, gods of monogamy have mercy on me will ya? LOL!!! I am sure you appreciate that this change of lifestyle hasn't affected my humour glands, if anything it has really elevated me to a plane of humourous existence beyond any visible redemption in the horizon (oh how I love "torturing" the english language, it makes my wacky world a better place I am telling you, heh).

Keep smiling because I love it when you do:). I am doing fine so no worries!

This was a first post of more to follow depending on restrictions, mood and time availability. I am around and I am looking forward to check how my blogging friends are doing. No, I am not irreversibly falling into the 'big softie' side of things, I just want to 'friendly torture' them with my 'venomously comical' comments on their posts (hey, a man has to have hobbies right? LOL).

Till next time, take care and I will be around when I can be around (I know, I know, you could live your lives without such deadly threats but what can you do...heh).

Later!!!

Last post till... the next:)

Well I am joining the military on Monday and I will be its faithful, if somewhat wacky, servant for the next year. As a result my blogging frequency will suffer because I won't have much accessibility to a PC or the internet. Still I will be around when I can be around both as a writer and a reader... And to a certain soul out there that was worried about it, I just want to say, "I won't forget you". As I won't forget the rest of the fellow nutcases that hang out over at this blog (ah don't you feel the love and respect that I have for my readers... it just oozes from every pore of my blogging existence, lol). On a more personal level, I am taking this whole military experience thing as light as I can, treat it like another experience and wait for the days to pass really:).

I really like the following song for some reason. It just fits this post for no apparent reason , LOL!





Till next time then, take care and be well !


P.S.1 : The DP counter top right let's you know when I will be re-entering the bloggosphere at full strength and not sporadically, so you can't say that you haven't been warned when the time comes:). Later!!!

P.S.2 : OK, I confess I really had to put this song in as well since I just really really like it. As for the content of the video, oh well who cares, it is at least colourful and playful :)

Beware innocent movie goers, John (C)Ra(p)mbo is back!!!

Rambo being stealthy(truth be told, he seems more smelly than stealthy to me...). Okaaayyy... I am sold, NOT!!! :).

It wasn't too long ago that the movie "John Rambo" (a.k.a. Rambo 4) came to my attention and I gave it the "royal" treatment in this past post of mine. As soon as I had watched that trailer I knew that a new benchmark for uber cheesiness coupled with atrocious lameness would be set with this movie. Let's not forget that this is no b-movie in budget, so it has no excuses for being... well... the brainless monster of a movie that it is:). Yet, the male 'sentimentalist' in me prevailed (let's face it guns and boys go as much together as fish and feta cheese.... wait a minute fish and feta cheese don't go well together...lol... oh well what can you do...heh).

I had to see this movie just to have an opinion on it. Let me rephrase that, I had to watch this movie just to be able to present my impressions of it in this blog. Oh the hell with it...let's be absolutely honest here... I had to see this motion picture so I could tear it apart 'limb by limb' and feel good about it. Yep, that is more like it... I was as biased as they come, I knew it was going to be a relic of the 80s with richer special effects and no consideration for political correctness. I knew that John Rambo would be once more a one man army that could annihilate hordes of foes by sheer breathing on them. And guess what, I didn't care at the absurdity of it all:). But enough of my past "expectations"! Time to unleash upon you the hard, cold, truth about this movie regardless of the readership casualties that such a task will certainly evoke. I am ready to pay the price for my insolence (aren't I always? LOL).

Heavy spoilers coming up!!! Not as heavy as Stallone's inflated muscles and definitely not as heavy as his massacring machine gun barrage against every poor extra in the film but still pretty heavy, LOL!!!

So as I comfortably positioned my punk Mercy ass on the movie theatre's seat, I knew I had already experienced the best part of the movie. A pack of warm pop corn in one hand and a diet coke on the other I was in movie land heaven and that was enough. As the main feature kicked in, I knew this heavenly feeling of enjoyment wouldn't last... We were treated to a barrage of crappily edited montage of war images and tortured victims since, guess what, the movie had to establish that the bad guys of the movie were ... well... BAD. Then, a severely constipated Stallone appeared on screen chasing snakes in the jungle. Truth be told he didn't really do much apart from waving his hands and other people grabbing the snake or the other way around (the problem was if he bent over his T-shirt would probably erupt since he was bloated as hell, especially his torso...).

Regardless, after being treated to some montage of Stallone literally sleep walking through the scenery and some more bad guy stuff (to establish that everything Rambo would do to them later on was justified...), a pack of missionaries came into the fold. Rambo told them not to go to the war zone and -surprise, surprise- they went, because otherwise Rambo would have to keep chasing snakes for the rest of the movie and that would be, not so "Rambo-ish" I suppose...The funny thing was that one of the missionaries said : "I've been making this trip for the past decade and I am aware of all the dangers...". As soon as they set foot on their destination, the missionaries were captured (I guess all that decade long experience of travelling to the place paid out really well for the leader of the expedition, LOL).

He is gonna blow!!! And you know it:).

Up to that point Stallone was heavily sedated (wait a minute he is always like that, it is called 'method (bs)acting' I am told...LOL). The pastor that sent the expedition to this suicide mission hired mercenaries to recover the captured missionaries (let's face it, probably all pastors in the Rambo universe have mercenaries on speed dial right next to the pizza delivery numbers...) . Rambo tagged along with the useless mercenaries for 3 apparent reasons: 1)He liked the only woman in the expedition probably because she didn't faint from the stench oozing from his armpits, 2) Butchering bad guys does better box office than chasing snakes, 3) More shooting means less talking and that is always preferable for Stallone and every action hero ever depicted on film.

The Mercenaries although totally useless and clueless about every aspect of their mission ditched Rambo as being, well, a bit gay and sleepy eyed. Moments later, he used his trusty bow for something other than fishing (yes, fishing...) and in no time he was leading them! I suppose using one of his patented 'malarchy infused speeches' about warriors being warriors and not plumbers or something ( and certainly not snake eaters, snake tamers, snake molesters and anything snake related I assume) did the trick. In the meantime, the bad guys were doing bad things over at the camp like ravaging everything that moved and looking menacing in their gay getups. Surprisingly, although in ' extremely horny overload mode' they didn't even think of touching the only WHITE BLONDE WOMAN in the premises. But then again this is a Rambo movie and they were only going to attempt such a feat only secs before the main man, the big cheese, the dude, his majesty, John Rambo himself would be seconds away from tearing their throats apart. How convenient...:)

'Us' action heroes have all the same priorities more or less it seems... It is what keeps us going:). Technically, I am an 'action looney' extraordinaire but beggars can't be choosers, LOL!!!

After the ridiculously edited rescue mission and a courageous sprint of a 'steroids dripping' Stallone through the jungle that resulted in a ridiculously big explosion, the movie entered its final act. Miraculously the Mercenaries were captured instantly by their pursuers although in the previous scene they were armed and dangerous but who cares if they were trained professionals... Noone is as trained as Rambo, except from Chuck Norris who can pretty much level mountains with a single kick as we all know... So when all seemed lost, who saved the day? But Rambo of course...

This is where the movie became an all out videogame with Stallone mounting a machine gun attached on a jeep and massacring every single living being on screen, except, of course, from his allies (because as we all know Rambo never misses a shot and if he does then Chuck Norris will probably stop the bullet in mid flight with his bare hands so no worries , LOL).So despite Rambo being stationary, on a jeep, with every enemy knowing his position, he managed to butcher every one in sight keeping at it for around 20 mins with his ass literally 'embedded' on the jeep(it is a known fact that enemy bullets 'respect' Rambo so much that they never make impact, so no surprises there...). If memory serves a single bullet hit Rambo but by the looks of it, a mosquito bite would be much more lethal and bloody since 'the mulleted fool with a red headband twist' didn't even blink. After lazily finishing off the last bunch of pointlessly standing enemies that happily positioned themselves in his line of fire, Rambo dismounted from the jeep (or slipped and fell from it, the verdict is still out on that one...), just in time to gut the leader of the bad guys who conveniently passed by right next to where Rambo was (I like punctuality in a bad guy, I really do, when all he does is land gracefully on the hero's knife,it is just so 'realistic'...). Now that Rambo had used his trusty knife for something else than spreading peanut butter on bread and all Rambo cliches in the list had been done to death, a Stallone at the verge of a stroke smirked like 'a bloated balloon on crack' before leaving the scene, presumably scratching his ass in the process but that is still open to debate. As for the movie finale, let's just say that "Rambo 5 : Brokeback stoner" is not too unrealistic an option :).

The admiration of Rambo's enemies towards his superb marksmanship skills knew no bounds... The only problem was, that they had no limbs attached to shake his hand and no heads attached to ask for an autograph...:)

Having concluded this onslaught of a movie review of 'John Rambo' or 'Rambo 4' or "the action movie that Stallone managed to complete without bursting from steroids" I have only one question in mind... When is Rambo 5 coming out? LOL!!!


Hope you cracked a smile or two!

Till next time, take care all!