"DP reporting for duty sir , yes sir!!!"

Ok, let's get the big announcement out of the way first : "Sometime in early February Deadpoolite is joining the greek army to serve in it for a year's time". Now, pick up your jaws from the floor, stop pinching yourselves to see if you are awake or not and pay attention because it is hard for a non-greek to comprehend this(heck it is hard even for a greek to understand this utter foolishness, LOL).

First day in the army can be a bit intimidating especially for younger recruits(thanks fuck I am not 18...). Oh well it could be worse, one could be hit by a BUUUUSSS!!! Oh!!! That was painful....ouch!

In Greece each guy above 18 has the obligation to serve in the greek army for a year. You can postpone it for certain reasons, like health issues, studies in higher education and other reasons that would justify doing so. Eventually, everyone serves in the greek army unless they buy their way out of it(pretty expensive) after a certain age or they have some serious recurring problem that is not subsiding with passing years. Let's try to answer why this malarchy happens in my country and what its repercussions are for the individuals going through with it...

Why does Greece have such an obligatory 'army' joining policy?

Theoretically we are under constant threat from Turkey which is constantly messing with our borders and wants that little extra piece of the Aegean sea(Aegean sea is the natural border between Greece and Turkey) for itself, despite all international treaties stating clearly where the actual borders of the two countries are. Their fighter jets trespass in our airspace and out figther jets retaliate in response in 'virtual combat sessions so to speak'.This happens a lot of times per day and it is a neverending cycle of malarchy and ridiculous money expenditure for both countries. I have no doubt that our jets trespass in their airspace as well now and then just to make a point. In all honesty, the event of an actual all out war is negligible since Turkey is desperate to join the EU one way or another and they need our support since we are already members of it(this is a rather simplistic approach of the relations between the two countries but this post has no purpose to venture into such diplomatic nightmare territories, brrrr, scary... even for DP!). It is a fact that the rest of Europe doesnt want Turkey because in all essence it is a democracy in paper and a shady military powered regime in actuality. Regardless, the greek state has an active military obligation for all males supposedly because of the 'Turkish threat' but in all honesty in this day and era they just need the manpower to operate the military camps since permanently stationed troopers are not enough to do so efficiently. Anyhow, that is that...

They better not leave me guard the ammunition storage facility because it can get....ahem... sparky!!! LOL

Now instead of boring you out with an account of meaningless facts I would like to take a more original approach and conduct a 'self interview' of sorts (yeah I am nuts like that...). It will be more of a case of things you might want to ask me about it and my response to them, let's see....

Q: So when are you actually joining the army and what division of it are you joining?
A: I am expecting to be asked to join between February 5th to February 15th or thereabouts, the actual 'letter of recruitment' will come my way around the 20th of January(and I needed some firestarting material for the fireplace, brilliant, LOL!). Because of my specialty (I am a Biochemist/Biotechnologist) I will probably be in the health services division of the army but that is not dead certain( I am no special forces material that is if for sure,thanks fuck for that, LOL!)

Q: Where do you serve and will you always be in one place?
A: First one serves in a training camp for a month or thereabouts where he learns the basics about being in the army (booorrriinnnggg, unless I get to shoot someone and make it look like an accident which would seriously up the excitement let's face it, heh....). Then he is stationed close or at the borders of the country somewhere for 4-6 months, then he moves closer to home for the rest of his military life until one is discharged.

Q: So will you be always in a camp or what?
A: The way this works is this. Overall, you got around a month off which of course you take fractured now and then throughout the year. Then again you got a lot of times where you get to leave for several hours if you dont have active duty on the day. When on active duty, which is more often than not, you live in the camp. Ah the life in the army, so simplistic in its pointlessness, I "love it" (no offense to people who have served in the army by the way, just my viewpoint nothing more, nothing less...)

Q: Are you at all phased by this development, are you worried, are you anxious, how do you feel?
A: I think if I went younger to the army I would be 'shitting bricks' from anxiety but now all I want is to get on with it and be done with it. I am not worried about the army thing per se but its repercussions to the rest of my life outside the army. My career will be in stand by mode for a year, my relationship is either going to get stronger or get torn to pieces and for a year my routine will be 'the army's routine' which isn't exactly 'fascinating' (but then again some blogs out there -none of my links thank god for that- are so lame and generic that they make military life seem , well, exciting LOL!)

Let's leave Mr Deadpool himself elaborate on how tough it is to maintain a relationship when in the army... Hmmm... I have a better idea... let's not!!! LOL!

Q: Hey how about some positive aspects of the whole experience?
A: There are plenty actually. I have the excuse of being lazy and not working fulltime for no jackass boss for a year! Hooray!!! I am bound to make some friends out of the whole experience since we are all in the same boat in there and it would be interesting -at least at the beginning- to see how this 'military world' operates and behaves. Oh yes, I am a nutty philosopher of sorts so I will be observing closely heh! I am sure the novelty will wear off soon though:). Also on the plus side, when you are a trooper every time you get back home everyone treats you like a King (no, not Elvis, LOL) so that is always a bonus:).

Q:Tell us now though, is this the end of Deadpool's Laughing Den?
A: Keep dreaming people... I am here to stay, whether you stay around or not it is your choice but I am not quitting blogging. The simple reason is, I love creative writing! I would like to think that this year is going to induce a permutation of sorts to the blog rather than end its existence. I am going to blog less often, firstly because of obvious restrictions/reduced internet accessibility and secondly because I dont want to whine about the army routine day in day out, that would be just annoying. So when in whining mood I will just shut up (I am sure some of you would like me to do this in a more permanent basis but this is not a perfect world we live in, LOL!) The fact of the matter is though, that I like you lot too much not to keep in touch, so whenever possible I will write and comment in your blogs. Just not too often but I will be around.

I hope the army guns have labels like these on them or my military service is going to be a pretty short lived thrill... LOL!

Q:Any last wishes?
A: Oh come on, I am only joining the army it is not the end of the world:).It could be the end of the greek army as we know it though...

Q: Last but not least, what is the real question here?
A: The real question is, not if I can handle the greek army experience but if the greek army can handle the 'Deadpoolite experience'. Poor suckers over there at the greek army, they will be soon entering a world of madness like no other.... poor suckers... :)


P.S.: During my military service all posts will go under an appropriate label since I'd like them to be representative of this period in my life. The name of the label will be disclosed to you later on this month. Till then, normal blogging service will resume as always, heh, you cheerful DP addicts, I am not done with you yet!!!

Take care all!

A tale of utter foolishness in the blog of glorious madness...

So where have I been all this time one of my last remaining readers may wonder... OK, let's get the weird stuff out of the way. As the title suggests this post is not about any earth shattering events in my life, it is not about my childish past times or philosophical mood swings about the state of things. No, no, no... this is just a nutter's swansong for 2007, a fatal blow to my absence from this blog for a couple of weeks now. It seems these days I am always absent for a couple of weeks at a time(maybe I am cursed and a post per couple of weeks is all I get which could be a blessing for some people I suppose, LOL). Regardless, I am ambitious enough to try and write a post full of nothingness ,oh the awesomeness of someone typing words in just for the sake of it is unmistakeably a Deadpoolian trait. In fact I could trademark it, draw a tatoo on my forehead stating that only I can exercise such foul boring practises and be done with it:).

A man has to keep himself entertained during this 'merry season of the year' and I am no exception... Eat this Santa!!!! For all the gifts you never delivered to me... still waiting for that Optimus Prime toy by the way, LOL!

Ah, the thrill of 'blogging uber lameness' is a shortlived one though... I have to write about something meaningful even if I do it in a pointless way (did that even make sense... well some people would say that my acquaintance with a straitjacket has been long overdue while I would say that sanity is highly overrated, it is all a matter of perspective really,lol). Ok, let's see how DP has been doing in some non-blogging aspects of his life during this 'festivities period'. Yeah, that should keep my 2 remaining readers still around or drive them over the edge irreversibly... It is a risk I am willing to take so no worries:)

Well let's kickstart this DP extravaganza with the eating habits of these past couple of weeks. Being an ex-guy 'who ate a tad more than normal' and a current guy 'who eats sensibly' this is a bit of a peculiar period for me. All those delicacies flying around are teasing me to devour them, no doubt about it. And then, when eating insticts kick in and I am ready to eat like there is no tomorrow, there is this sudden surge of logic sinking in my psyche, putting me in the restraining shackles of "being proper" and "eating sensibly". Thus, suddenly, one of the more enjoyable things during Christmass and New Year's Eve , eating, becomes a mission impossible of sorts and certainly not the guilty pleasure that it used to be not so long ago... BUMMER!!!

As you can see the Deadpool toys had some 'nasty side effects' for the unfortunate kids that purchased them... So parents all around the world beware, Deadpool's branded products are seriously R-rated... raving mad R-rated that is :)

Then comes the girlfriend crisis and the fact that my girl is not close by these most "rom Komy" of days. So, that means, that unless Eva Mendes lifts that restraining order against me and she finally gives in to my stalking advances, sex life is pretty much an utopian condition that I am not going to experience during these troubled fat free times(as you can see being sensible about devouring delicacies during the holidays has come at a great personal cost... oh well at least not in calories, LOL).

It is not all gloom in the horizon though... I mean I got Assassin's Creed on Xbox360 right? Well, the more I play this game the more I realise it is more of a publicity stunt than a game. Don't get me wrong technically it is superb and being an assassin in the times of the crusades is pretty original but the gameplay is getting a bit repetitive. I guess that would explain why I bought Bioshock then, LOL. Now, the problem with Bioshock is not the game itself but me attempting to play what is essentially a first person survival horror game in the midst of the Christmass period. I am sure you appreciate the irony, especially if you consider that I am not alone in the house and family waves are attacking my ranks with worrying regularity. So how on earth can I go about my merry way shooting mutants and sending them to 'another plane of existence' when people around me in the house are too busy exchanging pleasantries until someone 'sugar overdoses' and tolerating eachother while in the immediate vicinity with alarming diplomacy? Yeah, I know, it seems that survival horror is not on my TV screen after all but right there in my living room ha,ha,ha,ha!!! And it is a hell of a lot cheaper than the videogame let me tell you...

I am a sucker for making an 'over the top' entrance into the next year...ah the nerve of some people:)

Still, there is no doubt that all this coziness of the holiday period makes someone feel a bit special these days. I dont know maybe it is the promise of a better forthcoming year that raises the bar of expectation too high or just the fact that a lot of people have the occassional leisure to enjoy the simple things in life that are 'too time consuming' during the rest of the year. For me 2008 will be pretty much a year 'running on auto-pilot' and I will elaborate on this in a future post in January.

Till then, I want to say that I really wish I could visit your blogs more often and just comment as often as I used to (I will be unleashing a commenting marathon towards your way sooner rather than later be sure of that). I miss the interaction with you people more than writing itself or so I keep telling myself. I guess blogging life goes around in circles with its ups and downs, peaks and lows... just like real life then:)

I wish you all to be healthy above all else, to be optimistic about the future even at the face of adversity because if you managed to make a guy at the other side of the world, who is never going to meet you personally, care, then pretty much anything else is as simple as DP muttering a sentence making sense. Come to think of it, that latter thing isn't particularly simple....bummer!!! Ha,ha,ha,ha!!!

Till next time... take care guys and girls and I wish you all the best for the upcoming year!

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (Duel of the fates-Part 3 of 3)

For the ones among you not in the know, this is the final part of a trilogy of posts, so you might as well check the previous parts to get the complete picture. If you wish to do so, just click the links below:

Part 1

Part 2


On with the festivities of part 3 then...

The shop assistant stared at me for a second like a man wanting to confess a really dark secret. He eyed my priced possession with dismay before unleashing his verbal spikes towards my way... The following conversation ensued between a consumer in a shopping frenzy and a shop assistant knowing what is what...:

Shop Assistant (SA) : Is that the Xbox360 that goes for 299 Euros?

Deadpoolite (DP) : Xbox360 proud owner reporting for duty, sir, yes sir!

SA: Not so fast son... there is something you should know about this particular Xbox360...

DP: Is it really an Xbox with an Xbox360 faceplate ? Speak man, speak or silence forever!!!

SA: The reason that this Xbox360 is priced so cheaply is because it has no controller bundled with it!

DP (in a state of shock): What do you mean it has no controller in the package? It states it clearly on the box that it has one inside!

SA: Some malakas forced the box open and got the controller out so we had to price it this cheaply to sell it... Besides, information printed on boxes is highly overrated to begin with...

DP (infuriated): And when were you planning to tell me this exactly? After I got home and opened the damn box!!! I can pay for a separate controller but I am pissed off now and since decapitating you won't fix my mood, I am putting this back to its shelf!!!

SA(he could't care less): Okkkk....

I wish my "stalker" was as cute as Ayame from the Tenchu game series but no such luck... It was just another "horny" gamer waiting for his chance to taste some next gen gaming goodness. Little did he know of how things would eventually turn out for him...:)

As I was approaching the shelf with my now ex-possession(?) in hand, thinking what nasty things I could do to the shop assistant while in the electronics section of the store, I caught a glimpse of a threatening shadow approaching cautiously behind me. It was another customer that had smelt "blood in the air" or more like the smell of a seriously underpriced Xbox360 bundled with a killer game. As I put the box back to its shelf I couldnt let it go! I really wanted to find the motivation to pick it up, buy the damn controller and get out of that place. But "principle is principle", so I just stood there half kneeling before it, thinking what to do. As I was pondering the fate of this purchase, the shadow that was stalking me took shape in the form of a 20+ year old. The shop assistant saw potential and started marketing the Xbox360 to the other guy, while telling me:

SA: So are you going to buy it or what?

DP: Do you find it professional that you advertise a product and it is half opened?

SA: Look I talked to you in greek alright, you understand greek right? Take it or leave it!

DP: Look malakas!!! I am a fucking paying customer here, so you might as well show me some more respect or I won't be responsible for my actions!!!

SA(taking a step back): Okay...take your time...

In the meantime, the other guy behind me was sweating like a pig resembling a Big Brother candidate waiting to be evicted... He only needed a moment's hesitance on my behalf to "feast" on the gaming juices of this Xbox360. I peeked behind my back gleefully and looked at him with a stare that said : "Sorry dude, this is just not your day...". As soon as this little "gamers' mystagogy" of sorts ended, I shouted out my ultimatum that echoed ominously in the isles of the megastore:

The shop assistant's indifference and the gaming vulture's 'breathing over my neck' wouldn't go unpunished, ready, steady, aim, fire!!! I would eventually prevail, no doubt about it:)

"Screw this! I am buying it!!!". As I muttered these words, leaving the other potential Xbox360 owner nearly in tears (eat this you vulturing scum!!!) I grabbed a wireless controller from the shelf and went to the cash register. There was a queue there and since I had a lot of purchases (a console, a game and a controller) I left my items on an empty register which was closing down (end of shift) until my turn on the open register came.Shortly after, a woman in the queue talked to me:

Senile woman(SW): Why dont you use this register instead so we can pay faster as well...

DP(in a slightly sarcastic tone): Maybe it is because it is closed down, just a lucky guess on my behalf...

SW: But I see the young lady behind you... she is still here...

DP: Her shift has ended...she is just closing down the register...

SW: But she is still here...

DP(angrily) :Look lady, do you think this is my idea of fun or something, waiting on an empty register just for the kicks of it!!! I said the register is closed!!! Do we have an understanding...?

SW: .....



I wanted to purchase Assasin's Creed and after dealing effectively with the "Mrs impatience 2007" intervention I finally fulfilled my goal for the day! Yep, I am a man of immense ambition, no doubt about it, LOL!


The moronic moral of the story is to never piss an angry gamer standing in a cash register, especially not when the game he is about to purchase is called "Assasin's Creed"... LOL!!! The young woman whose shift had just ended smiled at me in an atypical "Thank you!" response. As my turn came to pay, I was in for another pleasant surprise that cemented my belief that this Xbox360 was meant for me and me only... The shop employee hit the barcode in the counter (the price on it was 299 Euros) and the amount came down to 254 Euros, that would be 50+ Euros less than advertised on the price tag! I don't know how it happened and noone seemed to care, so with the separate controller purchase I ended up paying 293 Euros in total!!! Yep, it seems that the gods of gaming had showered me with their mercy for my persistence to venture into the next generation of gaming at any cost:)

As I reunited with my girlfriend, who was standing a bit further back during this "register massacre", and before I started narrating to her my little "shopping adventure", I couldn't shake the feeling that Christmass had come early for me this year, in more ways than one...



Till next time then, take care all!

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (A gamer in turmoil-Part 2 of 3)

So the big day was finally upon me. I was ready to go out and propose to Eva Mendes(eh....oookkk... minor typo there....hehehe) and buy a next gen console, I mean. I had fought the longing for some next gen gaming for too long I just had to see what the fuss was about. As I entered the first megastore, I moved with the grace of a gaming addict on the verge of madness towards the shelves were Wii games were displayed.... Wii games "yes", Wii consoles "no" though. Shivers ran down my spine, I had to buy the damn thing even if I had to start selling my body parts for it (having two kidneys is highly overrated but then again maybe I'll hold on to them for a little bit longer just to be on the safe side...). Wii was out of stock it seemed and I evacuated the premises before I started to 'verbally punish' people left and right for this insolence. I marched into the second megastore ready to "Wii- Fu" my way towards the Wii consoles but the same fate was upon me. "No Wii consoles" on sale. "This is a frigging epidemic!!!" I shouted... My poor girlfriend had a man in turmoil standing in front of her "We will find it in another shop, you doofus...", she tried to calm me down while her voice tone was leaning on the verge of mockery towards me at the same time(yep I surely love that woman, LOL)... As I was getting ready to bang my head against the first 'non- Wii' shelf of the shop, just to make the corporate heads pay for their negligence of not having a Wii console in stock, my eye caught a glimpse of a shiny, albeit battered box...

This awesomeness signed upon me even via the battered white package... It is called a 'gamer's insight' I am told....actually it is more of a malarchy infused impulse but I won't tell if you won't tell :)

It was the package of an Xbox360 bundled with the game "Gears of War". Out of frustration, luck, destiny or pure desperation I checked the price tag waiting to see a price around 400 Euros as the best case scenario(the worst case scenario would give my wallet a stroke so I didnt dare think of it...). I read the price tag and instantly my jaw got acquainted with the floor... I thought I was hallucinating, I never had an aversion for strobe lights and epilepsy was not one of my killer traits so what could it be... I checked the price again... "Surely there is something off here this can't be..." I muttered to myself (good thing my girlfriend had other interests in the shop so I didnt lose her along with my dignity, LOL). The temptation was too strong... For a moment there I hesitated and my "Wii principles" came in play... "But I wanted to buy a Wii...", "I know all the good games for it..." , "it would be so original and fun..." all those phrases hit me like a ton of proverbial bricks, I felt almost guilty not buying a Wii you see (yep, I was that far gone, lol)! Then the bad DP voice came into my head and shouted : "Grab the box and run you tosser, just go to the cashier's and dont look back, this console has your name on it, can't you see... how malakas can one be?". Without another moment's hesitation I looked behind me for any 'shopping vultures' that may have casted their consuming gazes on my prey and shouted : "This is mine damn it!!!". I grabbed the box and clinged on it with such force I am glad it did not transform into a PSP from the squeeze:). So I reached the register and asked to pay for "my trophy"... as fate would have it... things wouldnt go as smoothly as planned... not just yet anyway...


The Wii is now a 'future purchase'... can't believe it myself. Still tons of fun:)


I think one can see the difference in the approach of gaming... I sure can... oh well back to playing Assasin's Creed (the hooded guy figure in the vid)


At the other side of the register my girlfriend had already payed for the rest of the pucrhases and was waiting for me to 'cross to the other side' with her... As it turned out, she would have to wait a bit longer for our merry fool's reunion...

(To be continued and concluded in part 3)

The astonishing transformation of a Wii into an Xbox360 (Prelude-Part 1 of 3)

You know a few months back I was as solid as a rock in my views. "Next gen gaming is just a big con you fools" I enthused with pathos. Just check out my relevant post via this link if you dare (actually if you are not totally bored since it is not a particularly "daring" task to be honest... not as daring as me taking a shower anyway...LOL) :

http://deadpoolstrikesback.blogspot.com/2007/04/
console-wars-how-stupid-can-one-be.html

While I believe that the majority of some of my arguments still stands to some extent I do not longer consider the whole affair a total waste of time(although I dont own an HD TV so I might as well like living in denial over the necessity of an endeavour into next gen gaming...). The point of this "pointless post" is(dont you love these phrasal contradictions that dont make any sense in this blog... I mean as soon as you read one you know it is my blog and there is no escape... brilliant simply brilliant...LOL) that as I was envisioning my gaming future and what would be the console to purchase in upcoming months one name kept resurfacing in my collective subconcious (not a particularly crowded place I assure you...LOL). And the name of the game was "Wii"!!! Ok, ok I know it sounds like I am taking a leak singing merrily to the great beyond (isnt it always a merry experience -i.e. taking a leak- to begin with... up until the prostate crisis kicks in and it becomes an accomplishment of mythical proportions anyway...). Regardless, this "little fun box" called Wii had several things about it that made it more appealing as an immediate purchase:


This is such an over the top ad, so it naturally had a place in this humble blog corner:)

- The Wii approaches gaming in a more interactive way which is fresh. You move the controller and it copies your movement.This opens a lot of interesting possibilies on how people can interact with games so concurrently(blame the terminology on that sick bastar... that was the 'architect' in the Matrix movies...) it rocks (not as much as me blogging but it isnt a shame to rock merrily in the second place of uber coolness) and opens a world of exciting possibilities for gaming design.

- The novelty of the technology and the fact that 'moving things' is more intuitive than memorizing button combinations makes this the ideal platform for people that, well, just want to have short bursts of fun and are not particularly fond of gaming. Oh, how much I wanted to see my mother try to play bowling on "Wii Sports" that would have been the highlight of 2007 for me (yeah it has been a "good year" like that... nah actually it has, LOL).

-Playing with your Wii (that sounded very perverted for some reason, lol) is just fun! You can play fun games with friends and just laugh out loud at how surreal the whole affair is. Grown up people waving their Wii motes at the TV screen trying not to decapitate anyone in range or avoid breaking that vase that supposedly cost a fortune but in all honesty they can live without.

So, yeah playing with the Wii held so much promise. I was salivating(not literally but I am still young so give it time...LOL) in the prospect of buying one this December. And then that fateful day came when videogaming dreams went out of the window and the cold harsh reality slapped me on the face... I was going to buy an Xbox360 dear readers, I just didn't know it yet...

(To be continued...)