Letting the heart do the talking...

You know I don't normally bare my soul in this blog since the greek blog serves this purpose better. This doesn't mean that I don't like or want to share things with the people over here, quite the contrary actually, but I created "Deadpool's Laughing Den" to satisfy a different need so to speak. The need to be outgoing, witty, pushing the enveloppe with over the top humour and make people smile. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but the intentions are there to see in plain sight. Either way I am having great fun with this blog since it has its own unique style and all!

Ideally life would be something like this... (god this pic is SO cheesy... the only reason I used it was because I really couldn't fit it anywhere else, LOL)

However, at this particular moment I do want to share something with you folks. I don't know maybe it is because at the moment sharing this with anyone else would leave a sour taste in the mouth. A taste of half words and half truths, leaving a non-liberating residue behind. So what is the big "Deadpoolitian revelation" you are probably asking yourselves as I am typing this in. Oh well, time to get the proverbial rabbit out of the hat... For approximately a month now, I have been experiencing something unique on a personal level. Something that has overwhelmed me in every way possible and to be honest something that I wasn't ready for . Okay, okay it involves a woman , duh!

Need I say more... a woman... I am doomed beyond redemption aren't I? LOL!!!

You know all of those overhyped rom coms where things that don't make sense happen but still romantic fools like ourselves grin at them because deep inside we hope that life worked out like that for everyone. Well what is currently going on kind of puts the cheesiest rom coms to shame to be honest:) I have been in love before but this is the first time I caught myself suffering even at an organic level. It is like I am doing things in my life on auto pilot while this aura of someone haunts my dreams be it in my sleep or in my waking moments. I can't believe that I am so awestruck with someone that I know for like a month or so but it is true to an extent that I wasn't prepared for.

"Problem" is, she totally feels the same way which is kind of too much happiness and too much burden to have at this point in my life.What makes things more peculiar and somewhat amusing, albeit in a twisted way, is that she is the last person I expected to be attracted to from a visual standpoint of view not because she is ugly (she is cute no doubt about it) but because she is not the type of woman I have been associated with in the past, in more ways than one. Same goes for her and how she perceives me and I know so because we have talked about every fricking aspect of this "relationship in the making" more than UN negotiators do about the Middle East problem:). What is truely amazing is how we both aknowledge the inherent difficulties and obstacles blocking our way, we both realize the absurdity of how fast things took the turn from friendly chat to all out love and still we remain hopeful about the whole thing. I don't know this whole level of absolute understanding between a man and a woman is too much sometimes, truth be told I never thought I would live anything remotely close to it...

The future will have a lot of this I am sure but not too much...

There is a shitload of obstacles at the moment predominantly with my career and its future as well as with distance, which will be an issue in a year's time or so, if we are still together. Despite the current and future adversities of making this relationship work, there is this one aspect of it that never ceases to amaze me. Every single time I think something is totally screwed up, she always says the right thing and she shows an amazing willingless to adapt to the situation. I think it is too early to say anything finite but if I wasn't trapped in a hiatus of enforced choices that has me a 'hostage of sorts' for the next year or so, I could honestly say that I found the woman of my life. Chances are that we won't last that long because of circumstances beyond our control but I am going to give it my best shot.

The hardest thing to do is to put all of this into some sort of logical perspective especially when you see the other side be ready to turn her life upside down for your sake! I mean when someone is willing to give so much how on earth do you refuse. I think a time will come in upcoming months when I will have to make an important choice about my future and my willingless to make 'my' future , 'our' future. It isn't a fear of commitment, I never had that as a person, it is a matter of shielding myself so I won't get seriously hurt in the process if things don't work out. Plus there are other priorities as well and dreams to follow that I am not ready to adapt or compromise just yet. It is called 'learning from past mistakes' I am told...

But at the end of the day this is all that matters... I hope I am lucky(?, LOL) enough to reach this point with her...

For what it is worth I want to say "Vivi I love you and thank you for coming to my life!" just to get it out of my system...

I already feel better just by sharing this...

P.S.: Οh you are soooooo going to kill me off with your witty remarks and sarcastic comments I just know it, LOL. Oh well, bring on the "pain" I can take it:)


Christos