Saturday, 20 October 2007

Letting the heart do the talking...

You know I don't normally bare my soul in this blog since the greek blog serves this purpose better. This doesn't mean that I don't like or want to share things with the people over here, quite the contrary actually, but I created "Deadpool's Laughing Den" to satisfy a different need so to speak. The need to be outgoing, witty, pushing the enveloppe with over the top humour and make people smile. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but the intentions are there to see in plain sight. Either way I am having great fun with this blog since it has its own unique style and all!


Ideally life would be something like this... (god this pic is SO cheesy... the only reason I used it was because I really couldn't fit it anywhere else, LOL)

However, at this particular moment I do want to share something with you folks. I don't know maybe it is because at the moment sharing this with anyone else would leave a sour taste in the mouth. A taste of half words and half truths, leaving a non-liberating residue behind. So what is the big "Deadpoolitian revelation" you are probably asking yourselves as I am typing this in. Oh well, time to get the proverbial rabbit out of the hat... For approximately a month now, I have been experiencing something unique on a personal level. Something that has overwhelmed me in every way possible and to be honest something that I wasn't ready for . Okay, okay it involves a woman , duh!


Need I say more... a woman... I am doomed beyond redemption aren't I? LOL!!!

You know all of those overhyped rom coms where things that don't make sense happen but still romantic fools like ourselves grin at them because deep inside we hope that life worked out like that for everyone. Well what is currently going on kind of puts the cheesiest rom coms to shame to be honest:) I have been in love before but this is the first time I caught myself suffering even at an organic level. It is like I am doing things in my life on auto pilot while this aura of someone haunts my dreams be it in my sleep or in my waking moments. I can't believe that I am so awestruck with someone that I know for like a month or so but it is true to an extent that I wasn't prepared for.

"Problem" is, she totally feels the same way which is kind of too much happiness and too much burden to have at this point in my life.What makes things more peculiar and somewhat amusing, albeit in a twisted way, is that she is the last person I expected to be attracted to from a visual standpoint of view not because she is ugly (she is cute no doubt about it) but because she is not the type of woman I have been associated with in the past, in more ways than one. Same goes for her and how she perceives me and I know so because we have talked about every fricking aspect of this "relationship in the making" more than UN negotiators do about the Middle East problem:). What is truely amazing is how we both aknowledge the inherent difficulties and obstacles blocking our way, we both realize the absurdity of how fast things took the turn from friendly chat to all out love and still we remain hopeful about the whole thing. I don't know this whole level of absolute understanding between a man and a woman is too much sometimes, truth be told I never thought I would live anything remotely close to it...


The future will have a lot of this I am sure but not too much...

There is a shitload of obstacles at the moment predominantly with my career and its future as well as with distance, which will be an issue in a year's time or so, if we are still together. Despite the current and future adversities of making this relationship work, there is this one aspect of it that never ceases to amaze me. Every single time I think something is totally screwed up, she always says the right thing and she shows an amazing willingless to adapt to the situation. I think it is too early to say anything finite but if I wasn't trapped in a hiatus of enforced choices that has me a 'hostage of sorts' for the next year or so, I could honestly say that I found the woman of my life. Chances are that we won't last that long because of circumstances beyond our control but I am going to give it my best shot.

The hardest thing to do is to put all of this into some sort of logical perspective especially when you see the other side be ready to turn her life upside down for your sake! I mean when someone is willing to give so much how on earth do you refuse. I think a time will come in upcoming months when I will have to make an important choice about my future and my willingless to make 'my' future , 'our' future. It isn't a fear of commitment, I never had that as a person, it is a matter of shielding myself so I won't get seriously hurt in the process if things don't work out. Plus there are other priorities as well and dreams to follow that I am not ready to adapt or compromise just yet. It is called 'learning from past mistakes' I am told...


But at the end of the day this is all that matters... I hope I am lucky(?, LOL) enough to reach this point with her...

For what it is worth I want to say "
Vivi I love you and thank you for coming to my life!" just to get it out of my system...

I already feel better just by sharing this...

P.S.: Οh you are soooooo going to kill me off with your witty remarks and sarcastic comments I just know it, LOL. Oh well, bring on the "pain" I can take it:)


Christos

20 comments:

whatagem said...

Dude, you got it bad. Oh and more more thing...PARAGRAPHS! (the backs of my eyes hurt) :-D

Calista*Was*Here said...

Oh, u r in love!
This is great!
Finding someone who understands u and fits u...this is actually rare thing (sad).

Don't rationalize too much.

Great company is great inspiration and great life enjoyment.

I'm happy 4you!

Hey, don't forget to work on your biceps:)

Stay cool!

MandyPoo said...

I won't destroy you with any rude comments. But this post definitely shows a different side of DP! ;o)

Muse said...

problem? There's a problem here? No i don't think so...lol I always imaged that those who really fall in love may not find themself with the persont hey had imaged. Or the person they are used to, maybe that's what makes it work. It's the person who's right for you finding their way into your life, not you finding the person you perceive is right for you. Make sense? Well of course not.

But fall, and fall hard. Love doesn't come easily and often for many. You can't know where it may take you or how far, but you have to live for the moment

and i bet you were expecting something a bit cheesier than that? well of course had i posted this 7 hours in the future i might, but it being a rational hour of the day i'll leave my thoughts as such. :)

nick said...

Man, How the heck can I rip on you when you are being so darned vulnerable?!

itelli said...

Attaboy. But I don't think u'll hold back. It's not in ur nature to hold back.

Deadpoolite said...

@whatagem

This is a "paragraphless" blog, it states so clearly in its still unwritten blog manifesto:)

Yeah I got it bad alright but I can imagine worse fates out there:)

@calista

Biceps are a priority , hopefully they will learn about it sometime soon:)

I am good! If worse comes to worse I will take my wrath and desperation out on my unfortunate readers:)

As you can see I got all bases covered!

@mandypoo

Oh come one please destroy me... pretty please:)

I ve got a a label called "Taking the mask off..." and it has quite a few entries of this type where I am less DP and more Christos, LOL

Yeah split personalities do that a lot you see, it is part of our charm.

Hmmm... did I say "our"?.... Time to call my insanist... AGAIN...

@Muse

Oh my uber cheesiness godess you have failed me... I am just shocked and appaled at what the interaction with Getty has done to you:)

But yeah love has its ups and downs and noone is ready for either of those extremes but who cares... I am living the moment and I shared it with you. That simple!

@nick

Dude you had your chance for a moment there and you just blew it:) DP vulnerable he says... vulnerable has nothing on me friend and it is highly overrated to begin with:)

@itelli

Nope it is not and you know all too well, since you are one of the unfortunate people that I plague with my existence day in, day out:)

Muse said...

now that you have found love DP....i'm sorry to say that it is a mandatory requirement that you go out and rent the following movies:

BEACHES
TERMS OF ENDEARMENT
STEEL MAGNOLIAS

Muse said...

let the marathon of chick flick insanity begin...

Ενεσούλα said...

Back off girls!
This man is mine!

Christo, I love you too and I'll do everything to be with you, my soulmate!
I'll fight for my love, that's for sure!
OK, words are very poor to describe what I feel.
I'll show you!
;)
Hugs and kisses and hello to everybody!

Deadpoolite said...

@Muse

Sigh...:)

Anything but that please... I am mad but not THAT mad:)

@ενεσούλα

Beware my dear readers...This woman has a mean punch I am telling you I know that much first hand:)

Love you too girl! (oh man not another rom com comment... how low will I fall for this love,lol)

Geez... another killer blow to my macho image has been delivered with deadly precision...

I really need to write a high testosterone extra wacky, uber macho post after this one...

Oh well... I am going to, at least, attempt to write such a post just to save any sort of credibility I got left as a guy:)

joen05 said...

Definitely a different side of DP here! I am with a girl who I didn't think I ever had a chance with, so it can happen. Strange what love does to you, isnt it?

someGirl said...

aaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

utter cuteness!!! DP I will now refer to you as LovePool!

As far as advice, MUSE has got it down pat. Do not try to find a "logicial" solution to this....enjoy the bloody ride, man!

And one more the road...
aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

LOVEPOOL...lol :)

Deadpoolite said...

@Joen05

I really think we are on the same page with this one:) For me it was more of a case of a person who I didn't believe I could be attracted to (same goes for her and we have even talked about it together,lol) but circumstance made the whole getting together process feel very effortless and natural.

@somegirl

At last! It took you guys 12 comments or so (exluding my comments that is) but you finally grasped the essence of what your comments should be like regarding a post like this:)

Somegirl, you are THEGIRL today! Lovepool eh? LOL That is just FUNNY ha,ha,ha,ha, so simple and yet so funny!

Take care all!

Jay Cam said...

hah, well if you aren't goin to associate with her feel free to send her over to my house...

if she's as hot as she looks in the pictures ill "associate" with her anyday!!

Brian o Vretanos said...

That's wonderful - I really hope it lasts.

BTW, you mentioned your Greek blog. I thought you'd stopped that? If not, where is it? I never get enough time to read this one, and would be more inclined to look at the other one - I spend too much time English ones as it is ;-)

Deadpoolite said...

@jay cam

Nice try dude... now keep dreaming:) You are such a sucker for "association" aint ya? LOL

@brian o vretanos

Welcome to Deadpool's Laughing Den! Oh bummer you want to read the greek blog better... oh well I guess there are worse fates out there for you:

Ready then... here it goes:

http://typingontherun.blogspot.com

Getty72 said...

Hey DP... just a little message to let you know that I have left a little something for you on my latest post.

Best wishes mate!!!

Graham :)

...oh and hey, what's going on with the synergy between me and cheesiness!!!! LMAO!!!! I just don't know what you mean!! LOL!!!! I'll get ya one day...!!!!!

Shan said...

Hahahahhaa, about sweet ass timE!!!

So the infamous DP is a human after all, I mean who would have guessed with all that tight pantyhose and masks :P

But mate, you should not fear, I feared and that fucked me up in the end more than I could have imagined.

I think if you are hesitating then it is telling you something isn't it? That it's not the one...

I mean heck, I would not take things further with a woman whom I actually doubt whether I can have a future or not...

Then again, in reverse maybe that's exactly what you need...

Keep it up and shout me in my blog :D

Deadpoolite said...

@Shan

This is why I hate generalizations you know:) When you are closer to 30 than closer to 20 life stops being black and white and becomes more grey in colour.

With this particular girl my doubts are not about her or how I feel about her but about some external difficulties by other factors and our ability to cope with them as a couple. Anyway it is still early days so I am living each day as it comes:)

I guess my post about this relationship oozes from more stress than I actually have at the moment:)

Oh well, such are the ways of a Merc in love I suppose...highly unpredictable:)

Later!