Monday, 8 October 2007

C.S.I. DP and the mystery of the weird escalator... (Part 2 of 3)

St Nickolas street, what lies beneath this divine name I wonder?

I finally arrived at "the scene of this crime against aesthetics and waste of money for no apparent reason" (what a mouthful,lol). I scouted the area with my investigating eyes (you see writing "sleepy eyes" instead doesnt sound cool,lol). There a were a few cars parked opposite the escalator standing there like silent mechanical guards of doom(someone in this blog watched the "Transformers" movie one time too many it seems, LOL). St Nickolas street is an uphill one with a bit of a steep slope that leads , after bypassing a flat of stairs as well, to the eponymous church of St Nickolas.

Exhibit number 1, a picture from the base of the street or a living nightmare for any "unfit" person(dont look at DP he is a special insanity op,lol, too mentally fit for words to grasp) .Dammit, a street going uphill!!! Pedestrian gods have mercy:)

There was no pedestrian in sight, thus I approached with caution doing the chicken dance in the process(I know you are left wondering if I actually did it, I'll let you sleep on it, LOL) since it was a chance to publicly display a level of baffoonism previously unheard for an adult person with no apparent legal consequence ( I live for those moments of extreme madness you see, they turn my world around so to speak,lol). As I approached the mysterious escalator, the cogs of my deductive logic kicked in started taking in all the evidence on display: An escalator, a street going uphill, some potentially transforming cars, a church standing tall further ahead... With the above sane and insane pieces of the puzzle dancing merrily in my head I reached the base of the structure itself.

You know if we put a couple of ancient columns next to it maybe just maybe this abomination of a structure could be taken for some token of ancient greek wisdom and craftmanship by naive tourists that would believe anything:). Then again maybe not...:)

As I was observing the fine artistry and ridiculously generic design (now that is how a proper contradictory statement sounds like if I ever heard one,lol) of this escalator I noticed some peculiar pink tablet shaped structures at the bottom of it. What could those be? Force field boundaries so that noone could deviate from reaching the escalator itself? Step trails of the makers of this escalator who could be of alien origin? The mutating remains of some stick chewing gums that evolved to the next level of gum evolution affected by global warming and an excess of public littering? Was it just my mind playing tricks on me after one dose of M and M's too many? All validly insane questions with no appropriately wacky answers....

Sidetracking ants or flying bugs during nightime was not a concern anymore... the glowing pink pellets of doom would guide them to the escalator with safety...ah every little detail accounted for in this fine construction:)

As I osberved the side part of the escalator my blood froze in the viewing of the words "Soris Trunks Fern" signed by a being called "FJS". My blood did not freeze because of the writings but because I remembered I left the oven on back at my appartment so there was a good chance I was already owner of an incineratingly cool appartment and I just didnt know it just yet,lol. Still, there were more important things concerning me than some pesky shelter insecurities. I ran the initials FJS by my brain but it did not reply... I knocked harder at the outer portion of my skull and the old bugger finally went on-line once more. So FJS eh? "Furious Jade Son of a bit...." was an obvious choice, as was "Fat Junkyard Sister" and "Free Junk Sale" before it. "Fast Jello Shouting" sounded more nuts than the rest so I rolled with it:)

"Soris Trunks Fern" by FJS... Obviously some people have way too much free time in their hands... hey dont look at me that way:)

I walked further uphill to get a better perspective of the weird escalator that was plaguing the streets of my hometown. I tried to locate a handle, a switch something to activate it without causing a state of emergency in town or some sort of nuclear fusion but nothing. The escalator seemed to have never been used not by a material being anyway and just stood there silent. Since there are some laws preventing it in Greece , I just couldnt grab the first pedestrian in sight and beat the truth out of him as violently as possible (STUPID LEGISLATION!!!) so I had to use more of my insanity fuelled deductive logic (ooookkkk, my brain is on fire, no more thinking please...). From the top I noticed that the space between the escalator and the parked cars at the other side of the road was quite narrow so obviously only stuntmen drivers could drive down the street without scraping all the scenery out of existence. So maybe this street wasnt a hazard against safe driving but a stuntman training ground... hmmm... as good as any theory I would come up with , in part 3:) Yep, it is time to go and I know I am pushing the boundaries of human endurance and patience by writing a third and final post about this but who cares, it is all good mindless fun, just what the doctor ordered then:)

Better leave your SUV at home ladies and gentlemen... narrow "to the point of suicidal" gap in the premises:)

When I think this street cant look any shittier a new picture comes and sets a new unpreceded standard of crapiness... this is a view from the top but not the VERY top , tune in to Part 3 for the finale of this DP obsession fuelled blogging opus of sorts:)

To be continued (and concluded) in Part 3!

Till then reset your sanity meter, have a brain check up to see if the old lug is still alive and kicking and stay tuned for the conspiracy theories extravaganza that I will unleash upon you in part 3, LOL!

P.S.: For the people among you that havent read Part 1, reading this part alone is kind of pointless really... So, take a sip of your coffee, take a deep breath and arm yourselves with courage... You have to read Part 1! So be a good blog reader and take the challenge like a man/woman!

Take care people!


itelli said...

This has got to be a world's first...! I mean... Well, i am lost for words...

BTW, I live in St Nicholas street (no joke) in the little Smurfvillage, but we ain't got no escalator. These are European tricks, and we clearly do not belong in Europe (as you yourself very well know)

Muse said...

that is the most hillarious thing i've ever seen. Isn't the whole point of an escalater so that you DON'T have to climb stairs? And there at the front and end of it...stairs!

Jay Cam said...

lol did u go ON the escalator? maybe the mystery lies there//

oh and btw, "FJS" stand for "from jay's spraycan"

well there's one mystery solved!
: )

Deadpoolite said...


We are both Greeks friend,does anything really surprise you anymore? LOL


Just wait until part three, yep, more belly laughs heading your way, LOL.

@jay cam

I knew you were behind the "FJS" thing you amateur vandal! I just knew it, LOL.

someGirl said... I just don't understand!!! What is the meaning of that contraption!! I'ts just so confusing and ridiculous and hysterical...I LOVE IT. Please, promise this will be our first stop when I visit (after the columns are added, of course)

And the fact that there's stairs leading to the 'escalator' makes even more sense!!! LOL!!

Jay Cam said...

how long till part 3?
im dying to know the conclusion!

Aice Nice Concepts said...

wow very nice story here ^_^
I love CSI, mysterious stories

care to ex-link? just drop by a message on my blog thanks

Calista*Was*Here said...

What u say, what's the number of your doctor?!

(just in case:D)